Ye Olde Age Difference Male Poll

[Chris]

THIS POLL IS FOR MALE MEMBERS Female Members please Visit here

Linked to the topic 'Ye Olde Age Difference' how would members really vote on this subject:

What do you consider a large age difference?

More than 5 years?
More than 10 years?
More than 15 years?
More than 20 years?
More than 25 years?
More than 30 years?
More than 40 years?
No preference, age is between the two people concerned!

Everyone has a different view on this subject, so lets see what kind of age differences we are talking about that are considered acceptable.

One Vote only per person.

The poll is split into one for Male members and one for Female Members to try and give us an idea of how much disparity there is between the sexes.

[DonA]

Something strange happened as I looked at the options. It hit me as a surprise to realize and dwell on the fact that Yulia and I have a 25 year age difference. Geez 

It kinds of shocks me now to think of it now.


We do not see it at all in our marriage. We are just a typical married couple (except for the large age difference.) This coming September it will be 4 years since we first met, and we have been together ever since.

The age difference was not a factor for Yulia once we met, but I know to the outside world we appear as a highly unusual couple and well outside the norm.

BTW I did not vote. I can not vote that 25 years or more are acceptable in the normal course  of things.

DonAz

[Chris]

Anyone should be able to see results now even without voting and men/women can both see each others polls

[pup zemly]

one remark pls. can you add if a woman should be older or younger and we'll see the whole truth how you dont bother about an age gap

[Manny]

one remark pls. can you add if a woman should be older or younger and we'll see the whole truth how you don't bother about an age gap

Julie, Older women are on every street corner at home (metaphorically) - if a guy is going to go through the trouble and expense of meeting and marrying a foreign woman, she should be a little bit younger at least. If not, what would be the purpose?

[pup zemly]

Julie, Older women are on every street corner at home (metaphorically) - if a guy is going to go through the trouble and expense of meeting and marrying a foreign woman, she should be a little bit younger at least. If not, what would be the purpose?

that's what I mean. You lie when you write that you dont bother about age gaps. you do worry!!
you dont bother when a woman is much younger

[Jet]

that's what I mean. You lie when you write that you dont bother about age gaps. you do worry!!
you dont bother when a woman is much younger

Julie, virtually every single woman I dated after high school except for Liliya was AT LEAST 5 yrs older, and some as much as 10 (including me Ex who was 8 yrs older). I was concerned about the 10 yr difference between Lil and I at first, but when I learned that her Russian Ex was 9 yrs older than her, it set my mind at ease a bit. So I guess that blows your theory about age gaps 

[pup zemly]

Julie, virtually every single woman I dated after high school except for Liliya was AT LEAST 5 yrs older, and some as much as 10 (including me Ex who was 8 yrs older). I was concerned about the 10 yr difference between Lil and I at first, but when I learned that her Russian Ex was 9 yrs older than her, it set my mind at ease a bit. So I guess that blows your theory about age gaps 

you are an exception
dating and marriage are 2 different things

[Manny]

As per Jet, most of my UK girlfriends were older than me.

I am 37, my previous recentish UK girlfriends have ranged from 23 to 44. My wife is 30. Moderate age gaps are normal in any society. I had a 44 year old girlfriend when I was 17 ( I said I was older) and what? 

[matt]

manchester,

 That's pretty interesting. I think there is a rare woman who still looks hot at 44. But can you honestly say with a 27 year differece it would be difficuklt to see her as hot now. You're 37 so that means she is 64. Mighty scary!!!! . 

 As I always say young women like older men of 40 or so. But that does'nt always translate well into a long term relationship. As the man gets to be 60 or 70 and the woman is till in her 40's it becomes pretty difficult to still be attracted. Probably why women widowed at that age go for a much younger guy the second time around.

      I see Ashton Kutcher 15 years from now looking at a 60 year old Demi(who is still attractive at 44,but time will not allow her looks to be there forever),when he is 42 and wondering what the hell he got himself into. Here he'll be at 42,with a bunch of hot 20 something women who all want him and he'll be stuck with the old wife. I can't see him staying too long past that stage if he's still there.

[Manny]

You're 37 so that means she is 64. Mighty scary!!!!

I couldnt agree more, the older one when I was 17 was my tutorial. 

There are many women who still look hot at 44, at least there are here!

However, when marrying, of course we dont want a wrinkly and we think ahead. 

I think the answer to 'how young do you go?' is 'as young as you can whilst still remaining visually credible and as old as she has to be, to be suitably mature'

[mendeleyev]

Its nice that new guys see this being discussed.  When a man is under 45 he often doesn't think about what will happen when he is approaching 70 and she is still in her sexual prime.

I just have to wonder how she will feel when guys still give her appreciative looks, yet her husband is slowly being pushed around the mall in his wheelchair, oxygen tank blowing and going, spare "depends" diapers in a bag, and a constant drool seeping from his mouth. 

Sexy.

[matt]

Even if the guy does'nt age that badly if she is let's say 40 and he is 70 his health will still be failing. He will be weaker physically then ever. He will be slower,mind may not be as sharp,ect.

  I really think there is perhaps a 1% woman in this type of relationship who will not be tempted if some attractive 40 something guy comes her way during that time of her life. She may stay with the old man and cheat behind his back. But that's probably because she's put a lot of time into him already and does'nt want to risk losing everything she can potentially gain when he's gone! LOL!!!

   I think it's difficult for a young woman to look so far ahead while she is looking at a man still attractive ion his 40's and 50's. But as you hit your 50's,you're immunities begin to weaken. Why so many people get health issues after 50. Your body ages rapidly after that. You can fight it all you want, but aging will make eyesight worse. lose testoterone and muscle, organs get bigger that's why some get distortion on waist even though the rest of the body may remain thin. Those are just internal issues. What happens to you outside may be just as dramatic. That's reality!

[supranatural]

   I think it's difficult for a young woman to look so far ahead while she is looking at a man still attractive ion his 40's and 50's. But as you hit your 50's,you're immunities begin to weaken. Why so many people get health issues after 50. Your body ages rapidly after that. You can fight it all you want, but aging will make eyesight worse. lose testoterone and muscle, organs get bigger that's why some get distortion on waist even though the rest of the body may remain thin. Those are just internal issues. What happens to you outside may be just as dramatic. That's reality!

I think most of that is rubbish.  People get problems after 50 because they don't take care of themselves.  They don't exercise, they eat wrong, and they become sedentary, and gain fat and lose lean muscle mass.  My dad still had a 29 inch waist in his late 50's and was ripped with a six pack...no signs of enlarged organs there (and can you point me to your source of information for the enlarged organ theory?  I have not found anything on the net to support that statement).  I'm 44 right now and I still do martial arts and I literally destroy guys in their 20's who are in shape and obviously younger than me and all of them find it hard to believe I'm not in my early 30's. 

[matt]

Immune system:



immune system to weaken.

EFFECT OF CHANGES

The immune system loses it's ability to fight off infections as you grow older. This increases your risk for geting sick, and may make immunizations less effective. Flu shots or other immunizations may not work as well, and protection may not last as long as expected. The immune system's ability to detect and correct cell defects also declines, which results in an increase in cancers associated with aging.

Later in life, the immune system also seems to become less tolerant of the body's own cells. Sometimes an autoimmune disorder develops -- normal tissue is mistaken for non-self tissue, and immune cells attack certain organs or tissues.

Other things also increase the risk of infections. Sensation changes, gait changes, changes in the skin structure, and other "normal aging changes" increase the risk of injury in which bacteria can enter broken skin. Illness or surgery can further weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to subsequent infections. Diabetes, which is also more prevalent with age, can also lead to decreased immunity.

Besides slightly decreasing immunity, aging also affects inflammation and wound healing. Inflammation is an immune response -- when the immune system thinks there is trouble, it sends more cells to the site of the problem. This causes swelling, pain, redness, warmth, and irritation. Inflammation often indicates infection, but may also occur due to autoimmune attack.

Many older people heal more slowly. This may be directly related to changes in the immune system, or it may be a consequence of other problems such as diabetes or arteriosclerosis, which leads to decreased blood flow to some parts of the body such as the lower legs.

Also, many older people take anti-inflammatory medications (to control conditions such as arthritis) and these are also known to slow wound healing.



There are four basic types of tissue:

Connective tissue supports other tissues and binds them together. This includes bone, blood, and lymph tissues in addition to the tissues that give support and structure to the skin and internal organs.
Epithelial tissue provides a covering. The skin and the linings of the various passages inside the body are made of epithelial tissue.
Muscle tissue includes two types of tissue:
Striated muscles, such as those that that move the skeleton (also called voluntary muscle)
Smooth muscles, such as the muscles that surround the stomach
Nerve tissue is made up of nerve cells (neurons) and is used to carry messages to and from various parts of the body. The brain is made of nerve tissue.
AGING CHANGES

Cells are the basic building blocks of tissues. All cells experience changes with aging. They become larger and are less able to divide and reproduce. Among other changes, there is an increase in pigments and fatty substances inside the cell (lipids). Many cells lose their ability to function, or they begin to function abnormally.

Waste products accumulate in tissue with aging. A fatty brown pigment called lipofuscin collects in many tissues, as do other fatty substances.

Connective tissue changes, becoming increasingly stiff. This makes the organs, blood vessels, and airways more rigid. Cell membranes change, so many tissues have more trouble receiving oxygen and nutrients and getting rid of carbon dioxide and wastes.

Many tissues lose mass. This process is called atrophy. Some tissues become lumpy (nodular) or more rigid.

Because of cell and tissue changes, your organs also change as you age. Aging organs gradually but progressively lose function, and there is a decrease in the maximum functioning capacity. Most people do not notice this loss, because you seldom need to use your organs to their fullest capability.

Organs have a reserve ability to function beyond the usual needs. For example, the heart of a 20-year-old is capable of pumping about 10 times the amount that is actually needed to preserve life. After age 30, an average of 1% of this reserve is lost each year.

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[mendeleyev]

Supra, I admire your devotion to taking care of yourself.  It is something which many of us need to be more diligent.  My hat is off to you.  Hopefully today you have encouraged the rest of us to do a better job.

With respect I also understand the point the previous poster made.  Living often in Russia has taught me that women who accept a large age difference in a man generally expect him to maintain himself physically (which you have pointed out) and also financially.  I'm not saying that such a lady is solely money driven--but age difference is not mitigated by how many lbs you can benchpress or how young the man feels at age 40+.  It is more about shared background, psychological compability, cultural compability, etc.  And knowing that a man can sustain a certain level of lifestyle (financial health) is very important in keeping marriages together with wide differences in age...especially as the male partner hits 50 and above.  

[Turboguy]

Darn Matt, you post some depressing stuff.   Makes me wonder if I should roll over and die or check myself into the old folks home.   Worst part of it is according to the stuff you posted I fell apart 15 years ago and didn't even know it.   Wish I had read it then so I would not have had to spend all those years thinking I was feeling great when I had really fallen apart. 

I am not sure how old you are or how old the person who wrote that was but I know a fair number of people in the over 50 crowd who don't sound a bit like what was written.    I am sure someone could write about RW and make it sound so negative too but I do have some good news.   When you pass 50 you won't fall apart as bad as they make it sound so don't take those words too much to heart.

[Olga]

I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.
 
Agatha Christie

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in 70 or 80 years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all.
 
Doris Lessing

[matt]

Turbo,

 I.m not close to 50 yet. But are you saying age has done nothing to you? Are you the same at 60 or 70 then at 30? I have noticed many of friends and families parents and I have to say I think the aging is not so graceful for them. Those who do age gracefully are the minority.

   I have to add I  have a  a 60  year old gay neighbor  who worked out all his life. Vanity in the gay world is probably why.
Looks a lot better physically than 40 something guys. He had gone to the doctor and had a perfect bill of health. In fact his doctor has always praised  him on living such a healthy and active life. During his last physical he thought he should mention to the doctor his heart was feeling a bit funny. He thought it was nothing as he thinks he has lived the healthiest life he can.

   His doctor thought since he was in such perfect health there was nothing wrong. But just for precausion sent him to take one of these new heart test. Happened if he did not mention anything he could have dropped dead all of the sudden at any time with no pre-warning.. Guy ended up needed a Quadrupal by-pass. Even his doctor was in shock as they saw nothing during his physical and this guy goes to the doctor for everything! Part of aging. No matter how well you take care of yourself you never know!

[Olga]

I do not know how I will look and what I will feel after my 60-70, but it seems I will be very cheerful and  lively granny. I hope...

[Turboguy]

Matt,   I can't say anything about 70 yet but 60 was a while back.   Other than adding 20 pounds I don't feel any different than I did at 40.   I am not saying that there is no difference.   Health wise there is no difference.    There may be some but very minor and not at all like the article you quoted.    

I think it is pretty much an individual thing.   I have one guy who works for me and is in his 40's.   We played volleyball at our company picnic two years ago and it took him 6 months to recover.   Currently he can't walk 20 feet without being out of breath.   Yes, things can creep up.  I had what they call a Nuclear stress test last year and breezed right through it.   My fiancee (who is much much younger) loves long walks.   We just spent the summer together in the Caribbean.   She was usually ready to quit before I was, had to tell me to slow down and some of our walks were up to 7 miles with lots of hills.   Personally I have seen lots of 30 and 40 year olds that were physical wrecks and lots of older people in great shape. yes, that is not the usual scenario but I just don't see the description you posted matching up to most of the over 50 set I have met.  

Nice pic Olga.   Good thing you are taken or when you look like that all the 20 something guys would be chasing you.

[Olga]

 
Nice pic Olga.   Good thing you are taken or when you look like that all the 20 something guys would be chasing you.

I guess I should think about high-speed wheelchair  :

[MND]

I will say it again, what is the right age, it is whatever makes you (both) feel comfortable.

[DonA]

I will say it again, what is the right age, it is whatever makes you (both) feel comfortable.

You are correct. Hey if a marriage works even with a large age difference, then the age difference doesn't real matter.

Thank God love is blind 

DonAz

[MND]

You are correct. Hey if a marriage works even with a large age difference, then the age difference doesn't real matter.

Thank God love is blind 

DonAz

My point exactly, its as simple as that.