Best book about Russian Brides?

[Ed Grubermann]

Hi, I'm looking for information about Russian Brides?

There are 4 that I know about

Elena's book (Elena's Models)
Ms. Smiley's book
Men from the West, Women from the East
Russian Bride Guide

Which is the best?
Has anyone reviewed them all?

[mendeleyev]

Ed, the very best is here: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=4138.0

[Manny]

Three of those are e-books. One is paper published.

Elena's book (Elena's Models): I have read. It was OK when it was written, but over-priced and outdated now.

Marina Smiley's book: I read that too. I would have to find it again to recall much about it. Some sites were giving it away; so its OK for free.

Men from the West, Women from the East: I read the "review copy". Some internet marketer guy with a forum who took reworded content that his members posted and presented it as an “e-book” was my impression. Others agreed. There were no reviews on his own site even last time I looked.

You can find any number of e-books on the internet about Russian women written by agency shills and internet marketers; some of which are hopelessly out of date. Anyone can write an e-book, put it out there, and hope to empty your pocket of a few Pounds, Euros, or Dollars.

With any of the e-books, use disposable e-mail addresses; you will be spammed to death thereafter.

Some say you should read anything and everything you can find. I can see the merit in that argument, especially if the e-books are cheap or free as many can be. Avoid the $50 ones. An ebook has no printer, no publisher costs and no mailing costs. The cover price is 100% profit. I think the $50+ ones are a rip off.

Others may have a different view........

[Markje]

Hi, I'm looking for information about Russian Brides?

There are 4 that I know about

Elena's book (Elena's Models)
Ms. Smiley's book
Men from the West, Women from the East
Russian Bride Guide

Which is the best?
Has anyone reviewed them all?

I read Elena's book and the Russian Bride Guide.

The second one is much more up-to-date with current information , for usually guys.

Elena's book is basicly for loosers and tries to build up self-esteem for those guys enough to start "dating" russian women.

[Stubben]

I think with Manny's book and this forum you should have the information you need at your fingertips. 

[FogHorn]

I have only ever read two ebooks, of which were unrelated to relationships, but Manny's comments about the 100% profit triggered me into commenting here.

In the two ebooks I have read many years ago (not the subject of 'Russian Brides'), I found the content and quality to be lacking. While there was some information there, it was minimal and could well have been easily extracted from another location online.

You can guess from my experience that I've now been put off of reading ebooks somewhat. At the same time I cannot doubt that perhaps some ebooks might be worthwhile reading. I think in the case of this subject ('Russian Brides'), it is possible to get good information from reading free online resources alone.

Forums like on this website and others have a wealth of experience, tips etc from which people can draw upon for guidance and advice. Of course just like ebooks one can determine the value of a response/comment by themselves, but forums are the best place to go in this subject for advice. For me, it was the experience of others which helped me take the first trip to Ukraine to meet the first lady.

I'm probably stating the obvious in some way, but when I hear/see ebooks I just think of people trying to take easy money from the innocent.

[Ed Grubermann]

Thanks for all the input everyone!

[Manny]

Ed - I see even our book title is automatically moderated on other sites - I got sent a link today and went over and read. It was quite amusing.

I was quite pleased that one of their stalwart posters claimed to have read our book and pronounced it "pretty good". That guy seems a good bloke who knows his eggs. The admin there will be on him like a ton of bricks for straying from the party line. 

I laughed at a guy who claimed his percentage from the e-book he was pushing was "minimal" (Yes, you Shadow). He has been instrumental in most of that sites money making wheezes.

It just goes to show that most of these e-book people are all smoke and mirrors.

[shakespear]

Manny no doubt your book is the best most current book available now.

I'd also highly recommend Lynn Visons book, the 2nd edition.  Forget the first section which his written like a thesis on the history of Russian - western marriages.  Go straight to the second part of the book for the information on how Russians and western people look at a many relationship situations in different ways.  That cultural comparison is the real value of that book.  The book is called "Wedded Strangers" and you can buy it used on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.  Again, make sure you are getting the 2nd updated edition.  

[Manny]

I'd also highly recommend Lynn Visons book, the 2nd edition.  Forget the first section which his written like a thesis on the history of Russian - western marriages.  Go straight to the second part of the book for the information on how Russians and western people look at a many relationship situations in different ways.  That cultural comparison is the real value of that book.  The book is called "Wedded Strangers" and you can buy it used on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.  Again, make sure you are getting the 2nd updated edition.   

I agree. I have that one too. The first few chapters are hard work, and you wonder what on earth it has to do with Russian women today. But later on it makes sense. It does teach you quite a bit about the illusive "Russian soul" I think.

Anyone else read Lynn Visons book?

[ispotu]

Hi all,
When I joined this forum, I figured I'd be the sponge asking all the questions since I'm so new. I'm happy to be able to contribute an answer! Since I'm a English Prof, I have a habit of reading a great deal. I learned in grad school to throw down 10 books a week with ease, so I still read a lot; when I become interested in a topic, I read EVERYTHING I can find, so I have read several in the last few months since I started my journey. Here are my thoughts:

The last one I read was The Russian Bride Guide. It is what brought me to this website. I liked it a great deal. Several parts were contrary to other books I had read, so I felt it to be the most accurate picture. It  feels very real and honest. By the time I read it, some sections were not interesting to me (age differences, visa requirements, etc) because I had already read so stinking much on those things, but if a guy was to pick only 1 book, this is the one.

I liked Visson's Wedded Strangers. It is older, but I like how it talked about the variety of situations that people found themselves in. The academic geek in me was giddy to see so much documentation and endnotes. This book won't tell you how to go through this process, but it is very insightful and interesting in terms of talking about intercultural marriages. I think it's a must read eventually for someone who finds a partner from another country.

One book I really liked is How To Survive in International Marriage by Oksanna Leslie. I liked most that it was written by a woman to get her perspective. She talks about the things that confused her, worried her, surprised her, etc. She talks about how she was mistreated by a boss because of her “foreigner” status. She also talks about how she dealt with her husband's financial setbacks, his health setbacks, and other “real” things that happen in a marriage. There isn't a fairy tale here, just a real life marriage. It is not a “how to” book, but very interesting. She is quite funny in several parts. I laughed out loud a few times at her humor. You can tell she has a lot of spunk, has a bold personality, and can rise to some pretty tough life challenges. These are qualities I hope to find in a future wife, so I enjoyed this one a lot.

Billy Conn's How to Happily Survive Marriage to a Russian Woman was OK. It's pretty short, and if you're reading The Russian Bride Guide, nothing new is in it. But if you're limited on reading time. It's an option. I read it in an hour.

Elena's “E-Book” was OK. I did enjoy reading her story (and her husband's story) to get their perspectives and insights. In terms of the process of seeking a RW, I felt it was pretty out of date. With all the changes in the Russia, I think that it could be missing a lot of the cultural beliefs of today's women.  On the flip side, I use Elena's website and do like it very much.

Russ McGordon's The Russian Bride Proposition is probably my second fave “how to” book after The Russian Bride Guide. It's pretty in depth. Sometimes he makes me a little uncomfortable in how he talks about women. In many places it has the tone of a guy at a poker game. My “second career” after being a prof is coaching a women's sport's team at the college level, so I do get some overly-defensive hackles flaring sometimes. I've seen some of them face sexism (one was almost refused entry into a sports medicine  program BECAUSE she was an attractive female that would “distract” the male athletes), so my “poppa” defenses come out more easily than I would have imagined ten years ago.

I read Sex and Love With Russian Women, hoping to learn more about customs surrounding intimacy. Most of the book was common sense about how to romance a woman from any country. It was nothing more than common sense 90% of the time. It didn't answer the questions that were/are in my mind in terms of different cultural perspectives on sex-related issues. I worry about offending a woman who I might like very much because I misunderstand something in her culture in terms of sex.

I also agree that the E books aren't worth high price tags. There's virtually no overhead on them, so if anything the prices should be lower than printed books. Certainly, very specialized topics do have a harder time becoming published normally and have no option than E-publishing, but I think that when you read the E books you'll understand why they're not formally published.

Those are my two cents!

[jb]

ispotu,

The best book for you will be the book you write yourself.  Travel to the FSU is a unique experience for everyone, no two people see it quite the same way.  If you play your cards well you will come home with a new appreciation for the words; "hospitality" and "friendliness", with perhaps even a new soul mate.

Reading all the books in the world will not give you a firm guide for anything that happens between a man and a woman, every bit of that is a total crap shoot.  Those of us who have been to Russia can give generalizations, but not specifics to fit your plan.  I can tell you that in my experience in dealing with the natives, I find them generally open and friendly when in private.  In public settings they may appear closed and unfriendly.   Once you have been accepted into the group you will not find a more fun loving bunch of people on the planet.

Small tips:  single Russian women, even the most beautiful, are approachable.  If a Russian woman likes you, you will know it if you know how to read the cultural sign posts.   On another thread a member is concerned about the; "5 date rule".  Even if the girl didn't hop in bed for sex, she clearly showed her interest in him by ironing his shirts and fussing over his appearance, this is classic RW behavior indicating attachment.

These forums are full of very useful information, some of it will work for you, some of it will not,,, same thing with the books.

[Link]

ispotu,

Small tips:  single Russian women, even the most beautiful, are approachable.  If a Russian woman likes you, you will know it if you know how to read the cultural sign posts.   On another thread a member is concerned about the; "5 date rule".  Even if the girl didn't hop in bed for sex, she clearly showed her interest in him by ironing his shirts and fussing over his appearance, this is classic RW behavior indicating attachment.

These forums are full of very useful information, some of it will work for you, some of it will not,,, same thing with the books.

I would add another small tip to the list, it's very useful I learnt myself in my first trip to Russia, I will quote a couple of fellow forum members, (Zaniac from the RMP and  the Donhollio from here) who described it quite well:

I have found that women who are generally interested in me, do not ask me to buy them anything within the first 2 weeks of meeting them in real life. While I'm not saying "don't pay for anything", I'm just trying to say that if a woman has a "I want this, I want that" attitude, then you have to ask yourself "does she really care about my wallet (what I can afford)?".

You need to remember a girl who is interested in you will spend your money like she has earned it herself. That can't be stressed enough. If she is wanting you to buy gifts, pay for minutes on her phone,or taking you to a sushi place, than she is simply cashing in on her mule ( you ) before you leave town.

In case you have doubts about this, once in Russia treat RW like if you were dating local women, what would be your reaction if a local  (put your nationality here) American/ British/ Canadian/ Mexican women ask you to buy fancy gifts? What would you think if a local girl displays certain behavior towards you? Would you give special privileges or treatment only because they are Russian women? If you think something is not right, then listen to your gut instinct because it's probably not.

Of course there are reasonable expenses and payments for example a taxi home for a woman, but you need to use your gut instinct to identify them, not being greedy is not that same that allowing yourself to be used as her private cash machine.

[ispotu]

JB,
Thanks. I do know that no book is the complete answer. This is one of the reasons I have read so many. I read a lot when interested in a topic. I watched a documentary on black holes a few weeks ago and have since read 4 books on the topic out of interest. I'm a big reader. My Amazon Kindle is my favorite possession and I spend more money each month on books than on utilities.

For anyone getting ready to travel,
I like the lonely planet guidbook to Russia. It has a lot of good tips for things to see and do while there on the visit.
I also liked the book Culture Shock! Russia: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette  by Anna Pavlovskaya.

[sam42]

Hi all,
When I joined this forum, I figured I'd be the sponge asking all the questions since I'm so new. I'm happy to be able to contribute an answer! Since I'm a English Prof, I have a habit of reading a great deal. I learned in grad school to throw down 10 books a week with ease, so I still read a lot; when I become interested in a topic, I read EVERYTHING I can find, so I have read several in the last few months since I started my journey. Here are my thoughts:

The last one I read was The Russian Bride Guide. It is what brought me to this website. I liked it a great deal. Several parts were contrary to other books I had read, so I felt it to be the most accurate picture. It  feels very real and honest. By the time I read it, some sections were not interesting to me (age differences, visa requirements, etc) because I had already read so stinking much on those things, but if a guy was to pick only 1 book, this is the one.

Thanks for the advice ispotu!

[BC]

There is nothing definitive about meeting and marrying a RW.

The mere fact that this and other fora thrive is because there is no 'magic' involved.

In any case, forum, book, whatever.. it's always the same ol' stuff, said a thousand times before - one just has to look for it.

Filling out a passport application and ordering a book just ain't gonna hack it IMHO.