Writing Women Using Snail Mail in 2020

[Contrarian]

A normal FSUW believes that no matter how busy you are, it's your responsibility to make time for her and take bull by the horns.
You're playing the childish game that Americans play.
She isn't American.
All the time you're making excuses here could have been time making plans to go see her.
Is she attractive or is she an ugly duckling?
This talk of "boris" is absurd.
She isn't a model at an agency.
She's a real gal and you lucked out, but your luck is likely to run dry.
I could be wrong but at some point she will completely lose interest in you due to your inability to strike while the iron is hot.
Most FSUW won't tolerate this.
Maybe she already has a boyfriend and strictly wants knowledge about American balooning.

I certainly wouldn't call her an ugly duckling, but she's no model either... middle of the road in that department. Confederate you may think of my unique judgments as a game, but I certainly do not. My 'iron' is still in the furnace and when it comes out, you'll know.

Just giving you some honest feedback.

You're still the guy in the driver's seat.

[Guile]

Lord of D, have you talked to her on Skype or video already? or at least exchanged voice messages?

Snail mail can be fun and personal but I would only do that after I talked to her.  If you do 5 Skype sessions you'll know for sure how she's like, and then go from there.
Messages without anything else are useless nowadays.

[Danchik]

A normal FSUW believes that no matter how busy you are, it's your responsibility to make time for her and take bull by the horns.
You're playing the childish game that Americans play.
She isn't American.
All the time you're making excuses here could have been time making plans to go see her.
Is she attractive or is she an ugly duckling?
This talk of "boris" is absurd.
She isn't a model at an agency.
She's a real gal and you lucked out, but your luck is likely to run dry.
I could be wrong but at some point she will completely lose interest in you due to your inability to strike while the iron is hot.
Most FSUW won't tolerate this.
Maybe she already has a boyfriend and strictly wants knowledge about American balooning.

I certainly wouldn't call her an ugly duckling, but she's no model either... middle of the road in that department. Confederate you may think of my unique judgments as a game, but I certainly do not. My 'iron' is still in the furnace and when it comes out, you'll know.

Nevertheless, he's right about who needs to take action.

Whatever you do in the future with any girl from the FSU, please don't use the same methods you use for American girls as FSU girls.

Sometimes, many times, doing what you do in America with regards to wooing a girl it almost the opposite of what you should do in the FSU considering the differences in mentality.

Expecting a FSU woman to be equally involved in the "chase" is a losing proposition without a doubt.

[Guile]

hey Danchik, are you part of an expat social group or do you hang out mainly with Russians?  I used to meet with a group weekly at local cafes or bars with a mix of both and it was a good way to see how other expats adapted to Russia.   Some learned the language and stayed long term, others were there to just party, chase girls and make money. You meet all sorts.

[Danchik]

Most foreigners I meet here are douches, especially the Americans. I hang with Russians and have never been part of any expat group. I did refer to a website called expat.ru in my very early days for advice on places to get medical treatment or a haircut. Most of the advice there was either outdated or the type of advice only a foreigner would recommend. Not sure if it's still around to be honest.

Once I started working, I connected with only Russians. Obviously, the locals know better.

I did, through that website, find a restaurant/bar called The American Bar & Grill. A lot of expats hung out there along with the locals and it was my "place" during my early days in Moscow '04-06. Great place, and a lot of great memories happened there. But, it no longer exists.

Of course, I've met some normal expats, but never kept in touch. I know way too many people here and wish I had more time for some that I really respect and enjoy. Unfortunately, there are only so many hours in the day.

[Steamer]

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

You keep doing you Lord. I've always advocated 'slow but steady'. It's a good way to weed out the scammers and the insencere.

[Lord of the Dance]

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

You keep doing you Lord. I've always advocated 'slow but steady'. It's a good way to weed out the scammers and the insencere.

Thanks for the support Steamer. 

[Danchik]

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

You keep doing you Lord. I've always advocated 'slow but steady'. It's a good way to weed out the scammers and the insencere.

Thanks for the support Steamer. 

Lordy, Lord. 

I'm not going to get into slow and steady, which doesn't work well with these girls generally speaking. But, what exactly is your plan?

Speed aside, be direct when asking question and don't be afraid to ask a question. Again, once you get her (or any FSUW) interested and are interested yourself, escalate the situation. Let her know that you are interested in taking the relationship to the next level.

Don't wait for her to give you a reason, take the lead. FSUW will not beat around the bush if they're interested in you. They are direct and will respond to direct questions. The ball is NOT in her court and unless you're completely lost around the opposite sex weeding out scammers should be fairly obvious.

If you're waiting for something better to come along, she's not the one for you given your wants and needs.

I'm curious, what is your plan? You seem wishy washy about this.

I always remember a story a woman told me about her husband here in Moscow. She told me that he would write her very long letters (no snail mail) telling how he felt about her. What was interesting was her response to the letters after he poured his soul out to her, which was basically "ho hum", "that's nice". This is not an usual response at first.

Long story short, he persisted, put in 95% of the effort to her 5% at the start and they've been together for over 10 years and had twins 3 years ago. Russian men go to great lengths (at first anyway) to woo the women they're interested in.

DO NOT treat a FSUW like an American women. And do not wait for them to make the moves, they're over traditional and believe it's the man's job to push the action. And because of the "dating" climate in the FSU and their attitudes toward men, you'll have to work overtime to win their hearts. They don't trust easy and you will have to earn it.

Believe me, once you do win her heart, she will put in the effort. Ten fold.

[Guile]

Most foreigners I meet here are douches, especially the Americans.

I did, through that website, find a restaurant/bar called The American Bar & Grill. A lot of expats hung out there along with the locals and it was my "place" during my early days in Moscow '04-06. Great place, and a lot of great memories happened there. But, it no longer exists.

Hahah well Americans get a bad rap but I do agree the ones I have met in Moscow aren't exactly top of the food chain. Usually they couldn't hack it back home and end up teaching in Russia.

Any chance that American B&G is related to Papa's Bar and Grill by Red square on Nikolskaya?  It's run by a Canadian who's been in Moscow like 20 yrs.  He used to run the infamous Hungry Duck...man I wish I coulda seen that place.  Heard some crazy stories.

[Guile]

Lord, have you been to Russia before?  Don't know your back story so I just want to ask.  Or are you planning to go soon?

[Danchik]

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

You keep doing you Lord. I've always advocated 'slow but steady'. It's a good way to weed out the scammers and the insencere.

Thanks for the support Steamer. 

Here's the thing, yeah, be yourself, but get out of your comfort zone.

Waiting for things to happen isn't going to work, especially with long distance relationships. Doing the same thing, being yourself is not going to get you to the promised land. Growth happens when you put yourself in unfamiliar, and yes, uncomfortable circumstances and situations and deal with it until it becomes comfortable.

Until you do that, you're just spinning your wheels.

My favourite, most satisfying times and memories are when I did something out of the ordinary for me, and grew because of it. Trust me, you'll also be a better person because of it.

[Lord of the Dance]

(I'll be replying to this thread at some point, extremely busy at the moment)

[Danchik]

(I'll be replying to this thread at some point, extremely busy at the moment)

Tell me about it. I wanted to write that reply last week.