Writing Women Using Snail Mail in 2020

[Manny]

I was prompted to start this topic by this quote:

Joking aside, I'm really pulling for the idea of finding someone with similar interests. I'm currently writing (yes, through snail-mail) to a young woman in Kharkov who is a student balloon pilot. She is sending me a photograph of her father's balloon and in return I'm sending her a photo of my Carolina Day (a fairly modest Cameron balloon). We'll see where things go...

Now then, snail mail in 2020? Five weeks between each letter? This smells like delay and procrastination to me. I’m sure there are romantic elements to it, but it’s hardly the most efficient way to make progress.

What if some dude with an internet connection sweeps in?

What do you think about this?

[AvHdB]

I mentioned in an early post that my first relationship started with a hand written and long letter. Louiza said she received nearly a hundred e.Mails but only one hand written letter.

In early 2003 I studied a large number of dating sites and made some hot lists. I wrote (hand written letters) But felt the response were not genuine. Except for one woman who was living and working in Siberia, divorced with a young boy, Louiza A. (yes that is her first name). Her contact details were free on a Russian site. She wrote back and thanked me for my letter and via e.Mail we wrote for quite a while. She was (is) an accountant the father of her son abandoned her and the son in University. I studied going to Moscow where she was now working but one day I received a mail that she was now in The United States.

I thought somebody was lucky. But in fact I found out that she was a single mom working in Houston. She found America some what strange and wonderful. Often asking me questions is this or that normal and I tried to explain that Texas is Texas. In fact I am a Yankee – Cloggie.

Eventually the mails stopped and I figured she had married.

Surprise in mid August, 2005 Louiza wrote me out of the blue – she had returned back to Russia after the implosion of the company in America and had first stayed for 3 months with her parents just East of the Urals, but now had a job in Moscow. We started our writing again. In mid-November I said lets meet in St. Petersburg. She had never been there and I always wanted to see the Hermitage.

So on the snowy first weekend of December I flew to St. Petersburg, I organized a nice apartment a block from the Nevi, two bedrooms full kitchen living room and a dinning room. While my flight was late and the immigration officer did not trust some(one) with a long name we met each other with a hand shake. Dinner was waiting for me and afterwards we talked and talked. Eventually arguing who would sleep in the small bed (room).

She told me her most difficult choice was returning to Russia. Louiza had received both a marriage proposal as well as a job offer from the US government. Her son badly wanted to remain in The States. While she in mentality was Russian she was in fact Tartar, to described her in simple terms she looked like an albino Eskimo. She had the most beautiful brown eyes and very soft jet back hair.

I still am not sure how but we ended up in the big bed together in any event there is a Dutch song which starts out as “there nights that you only see in movies. . . ” You can fill in the rest & the dots . . .

We both had good jobs and as time would allow we would meet in Budapest, Praag as well as Paris. Eventually I came again to Russia and helped her finish her apartment it was in a new building over looking a large park. A penthouse something like on the 20th floor. Because she did not fully trust Moscow her son stayed in the country with her parents. She was very focused on work and sorting out new systems that were internationally compliant.

LA did not want more children and she was very clear that she did not want to move to Holland, she thought the Dutch language was funny (ugly) sounding. We meet often but she was not keen on moving to Amsterdam.

In August surprise her son had come up to stay with her and was going to go to school in Moscow. I surveyed his bed on the floor and explained to Louiza that 12 years old do not thrive sleeping on the floor with there clothes piled about the room.

So the next day off to IKEA, the placed was packed, when I commented that this was not the IKEA by the airport, she said no it is another one closer by two IKEA’s I was impressed, it turns out there are in fact four and by now perhaps even more in Moscow. With two IKEA taxis fully filled we returned to her home, only to find that the elevator was not working. I hate IKEA.

That evening I received a very nice full body massage.

On a subsequent visit after being quite passionate (which she initiated) but she was very removed and cold. The next morning she left quickly with a stomp. I asked her why but she bit her lip and got in the waiting car. I knew something was wrong. A week latter she told me she could be pregnant. Oh shit she did not want to have children. I heard little from her and than about a month on she told me that her cycle had started anew. I was relieved but for a while again I heard little from her. A month latter she told me she at the age of 37 wanted another child and wanted to stay in Russia,

Like allot of things it ended with a whimper, that was a sad time for me.

[Lord of the Dance]

I was prompted to start this topic by this quote:

Joking aside, I'm really pulling for the idea of finding someone with similar interests. I'm currently writing (yes, through snail-mail) to a young woman in Kharkov who is a student balloon pilot. She is sending me a photograph of her father's balloon and in return I'm sending her a photo of my Carolina Day (a fairly modest Cameron balloon). We'll see where things go...

Now then, snail mail in 2020? Five weeks between each letter? This smells like delay and procrastination to me. I’m sure there are romantic elements to it, but it’s hardly the most efficient way to make progress.

What if some dude with an internet connection sweeps in?

What do you think about this?

Because I interpreted your last question as though you were looking for input other than from me, I decided to wait a while to respond to give others the opportunity to comment.

Now then, I will point out a few things about my situation in particular. Firstly, I said that "we'll see where it goes," not, "I gotta get this girl no matter what the cost!" I send Facebook friend requests to anyone whom I already have at least 100 mutual (online) friends with (as a way of networking) so I have thousands of friends, male and female, all over the world - many are associated with the ballooning community. This particular woman (who is one year my senior, BTW) started 'liking' some of my profile photos and eventually private-messaged me. We started chatting about our respective lives, our interest in aviation, etc. I will mention that it was actually she who asked me to write her... the idea probably wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise.

The more I thought about it, I figured it would be fun. Also, I've received a few parcels (purchases) from Ukraine, but had, before this, never actually sent something over myself. I figured that it might be wise to have some experience in sending something through the post before actually sending myself, haha.

That said, having a penpal is the last thing I have time for at the moment. As example, last night I was down in the basement at my place until about midnight using a diamond holesaw to drill out some old fasteners in the cinderblock walls of the basement. Once they're all drilled out I'm going to use some hydraulic cement mix to fill the holes in these blocks before I seal and paint the walls. I'm getting SO CLOSE to being done and ready to move in that I can practically taste it!!!

If you are accusing me of delay and procrastination, you are absolutely correct! 

My lifestyle is not yet to my own satisfaction, although I will say that I'm getting there. Still got some more muscle mass to gain. Haven't yet moved out of my parents' place or completed my fixed-wing license. Haven't completed my kit plane or published any works yet either... but soon and very soon.

Once I'm confident in myself, in my capabilities and in my accomplishments I will aggressively pursue a mate. Without intentionally trying to sound boastful, I have a pretty strong sense of self-worth. I know what I want in a partner and I won't rest until I find her. I don't think this young woman I've been corresponding with is bad looking at all and maybe she is interested in me. If our relationship does in fact blossom, that's great! If her patience and persistence are equal to mine, she'll be richly rewarded with a powerful bond and lifelong partnership.

Most likely she will grow impatient and move on. To the majority of the world, impatience and fickleness disallow the accomplishment of anything great. I've had the privilege of learning early on that patience and persistence will pay limitless dividends. So again I say, we'll see where things go... I'm open to letting love grow wherever it pleases.

[Lord of the Dance]

I mentioned in an early post that my first relationship started with a hand written and long letter. Louiza said she received nearly a hundred e.Mails but only one hand written letter.

In early 2003 I studied a large number of dating sites and made some hot lists. I wrote (hand written letters) But felt the response were not genuine. Except for one woman who was living and working in Siberia, divorced with a young boy, Louiza A. (yes that is her first name). Her contact details were free on a Russian site. She wrote back and thanked me for my letter and via e.Mail we wrote for quite a while. She was (is) an accountant the father of her son abandoned her and the son in University. I studied going to Moscow where she was now working but one day I received a mail that she was now in The United States.

I thought somebody was lucky. But in fact I found out that she was a single mom working in Houston. She found America some what strange and wonderful. Often asking me questions is this or that normal and I tried to explain that Texas is Texas. In fact I am a Yankee – Cloggie.

Eventually the mails stopped and I figured she had married.

Surprise in mid August, 2005 Louiza wrote me out of the blue – she had returned back to Russia after the implosion of the company in America and had first stayed for 3 months with her parents just East of the Urals, but now had a job in Moscow. We started our writing again. In mid-November I said lets meet in St. Petersburg. She had never been there and I always wanted to see the Hermitage.

So on the snowy first weekend of December I flew to St. Petersburg, I organized a nice apartment a block from the Nevi, two bedrooms full kitchen living room and a dinning room. While my flight was late and the immigration officer did not trust some(one) with a long name we met each other with a hand shake. Dinner was waiting for me and afterwards we talked and talked. Eventually arguing who would sleep in the small bed (room).

She told me her most difficult choice was returning to Russia. Louiza had received both a marriage proposal as well as a job offer from the US government. Her son badly wanted to remain in The States. While she in mentality was Russian she was in fact Tartar, to described her in simple terms she looked like an albino Eskimo. She had the most beautiful brown eyes and very soft jet back hair.

I still am not sure how but we ended up in the big bed together in any event there is a Dutch song which starts out as “there nights that you only see in movies. . . ” You can fill in the rest & the dots . . .

We both had good jobs and as time would allow we would meet in Budapest, Praag as well as Paris. Eventually I came again to Russia and helped her finish her apartment it was in a new building over looking a large park. A penthouse something like on the 20th floor. Because she did not fully trust Moscow her son stayed in the country with her parents. She was very focused on work and sorting out new systems that were internationally compliant.

LA did not want more children and she was very clear that she did not want to move to Holland, she thought the Dutch language was funny (ugly) sounding. We meet often but she was not keen on moving to Amsterdam.

In August surprise her son had come up to stay with her and was going to go to school in Moscow. I surveyed his bed on the floor and explained to Louiza that 12 years old do not thrive sleeping on the floor with there clothes piled about the room.

So the next day off to IKEA, the placed was packed, when I commented that this was not the IKEA by the airport, she said no it is another one closer by two IKEA’s I was impressed, it turns out there are in fact four and by now perhaps even more in Moscow. With two IKEA taxis fully filled we returned to her home, only to find that the elevator was not working. I hate IKEA.

That evening I received a very nice full body massage.

On a subsequent visit after being quite passionate (which she initiated) but she was very removed and cold. The next morning she left quickly with a stomp. I asked her why but she bit her lip and got in the waiting car. I knew something was wrong. A week latter she told me she could be pregnant. Oh shit she did not want to have children. I heard little from her and than about a month on she told me that her cycle had started anew. I was relieved but for a while again I heard little from her. A month latter she told me she at the age of 37 wanted another child and wanted to stay in Russia,

Like allot of things it ended with a whimper, that was a sad time for me.

Good commentary, thanks for (re)sharing Av. Although my free time has been limited recently, I've been enjoying a lot of good stories here on the forum, many in the '07-'11 range.

[Steveboy]

Words cannot describe someone who is using e-mails for communication with ladies in the 21st century..

But if her phone is being repaired I guess you have to

They do repair phones?

[Orchid]

I mentioned in an early post that my first relationship started with a hand written and long letter. Louiza said she received nearly a hundred e.Mails but only one hand written letter.

In early 2003 I studied a large number of dating sites and made some hot lists. I wrote (hand written letters) But felt the response were not genuine. Except for one woman who was living and working in Siberia, divorced with a young boy, Louiza A. (yes that is her first name). Her contact details were free on a Russian site. She wrote back and thanked me for my letter and via e.Mail we wrote for quite a while. She was (is) an accountant the father of her son abandoned her and the son in University. I studied going to Moscow where she was now working but one day I received a mail that she was now in The United States.

I thought somebody was lucky. But in fact I found out that she was a single mom working in Houston. She found America some what strange and wonderful. Often asking me questions is this or that normal and I tried to explain that Texas is Texas. In fact I am a Yankee – Cloggie.

Eventually the mails stopped and I figured she had married.

Surprise in mid August, 2005 Louiza wrote me out of the blue – she had returned back to Russia after the implosion of the company in America and had first stayed for 3 months with her parents just East of the Urals, but now had a job in Moscow. We started our writing again. In mid-November I said lets meet in St. Petersburg. She had never been there and I always wanted to see the Hermitage.

So on the snowy first weekend of December I flew to St. Petersburg, I organized a nice apartment a block from the Nevi, two bedrooms full kitchen living room and a dinning room. While my flight was late and the immigration officer did not trust some(one) with a long name we met each other with a hand shake. Dinner was waiting for me and afterwards we talked and talked. Eventually arguing who would sleep in the small bed (room).

She told me her most difficult choice was returning to Russia. Louiza had received both a marriage proposal as well as a job offer from the US government. Her son badly wanted to remain in The States. While she in mentality was Russian she was in fact Tartar, to described her in simple terms she looked like an albino Eskimo. She had the most beautiful brown eyes and very soft jet back hair.

I still am not sure how but we ended up in the big bed together in any event there is a Dutch song which starts out as “there nights that you only see in movies. . . ” You can fill in the rest & the dots . . .

We both had good jobs and as time would allow we would meet in Budapest, Praag as well as Paris. Eventually I came again to Russia and helped her finish her apartment it was in a new building over looking a large park. A penthouse something like on the 20th floor. Because she did not fully trust Moscow her son stayed in the country with her parents. She was very focused on work and sorting out new systems that were internationally compliant.

LA did not want more children and she was very clear that she did not want to move to Holland, she thought the Dutch language was funny (ugly) sounding. We meet often but she was not keen on moving to Amsterdam.

In August surprise her son had come up to stay with her and was going to go to school in Moscow. I surveyed his bed on the floor and explained to Louiza that 12 years old do not thrive sleeping on the floor with there clothes piled about the room.

So the next day off to IKEA, the placed was packed, when I commented that this was not the IKEA by the airport, she said no it is another one closer by two IKEA’s I was impressed, it turns out there are in fact four and by now perhaps even more in Moscow. With two IKEA taxis fully filled we returned to her home, only to find that the elevator was not working. I hate IKEA.

That evening I received a very nice full body massage.

On a subsequent visit after being quite passionate (which she initiated) but she was very removed and cold. The next morning she left quickly with a stomp. I asked her why but she bit her lip and got in the waiting car. I knew something was wrong. A week latter she told me she could be pregnant. Oh shit she did not want to have children. I heard little from her and than about a month on she told me that her cycle had started anew. I was relieved but for a while again I heard little from her. A month latter she told me she at the age of 37 wanted another child and wanted to stay in Russia,

Like allot of things it ended with a whimper, that was a sad time for me.

Ohhh.... Av!!!!!
I am completely dissolved in your writing!!!
What a pleasure for Sunday morning!!!

[Orchid]

The more I thought about it, I figured it would be fun.

Snail mail is going to be an important chapter in your book and life.
Of course, there must be messaging and emails for emergency occasions.
You will need phone calls to whisper love in each other ears.
Snail mail is for fundamental thoughts and actions.
You both learn how to wait. If she waits for your letters, she will always wait for you!
Snail mail is all about time and respect. You both need time to think what are your relationships at this moment.
Quick development is a mistake.

[Orchid]

Firstly, I said that "we'll see where it goes," not, "I gotta get this girl no matter what the cost!"

Never say never.

[Orchid]

This smells like delay and procrastination to me. I’m sure there are romantic elements to it, but it’s hardly the most efficient way to make progress.

Every husband knows that it is better to answer wife's message or phone call right away to avoid her frustration.
Procrastination in this case is about giving each other space and letting the spouse to be an owner of own thought.

[andrewfi]

This is bunk! Sending a letter by post does not mean the writer is more serious than if he sends an email.

One can even write a well-considered chat message. I am sure that I am not the only person in the world who has written a long or carefully written message using a chat service; having first written it out on a text editor.

If the recipient is only able to give weight to the message by virtue of its mode of transmission rather than the words it contains then that's probably somebody with issues that would make it worthwhile to choose to move on to somebody with healthier emotional responses.

Likewise, if a person is unable to write short messages with meaning, again, time to move on to find somebody a tad brighter or quicker of wit.

Assuming that one or both parties are not emotionally impaired, it would suggest that Manny is correct! Somebody is trying to keep somebody else at arms length and to spin out the communication process.

[Lord of the Dance]

Words cannot describe someone who is using e-mails for communication with ladies in the 21st century..

But if her phone is being repaired I guess you have to

They do repair phones?

Despite the fact that you're apparently a natural English speaker, your comments are consistently incoherent. This thread doesn't concern email or phone communications at all... why are you asking about phone repair Steveboy?

[Lord of the Dance]

The more I thought about it, I figured it would be fun.

Quick development is a mistake.

+1 on that!

[Lord of the Dance]

Firstly, I said that "we'll see where it goes," not, "I gotta get this girl no matter what the cost!"

Never say never.

Very true. We never know what the future holds. And as I indicated, I'm open to letting a relationship grow where and when it wills.

[Lord of the Dance]

Assuming that one or both parties are not emotionally impaired, it would suggest that Manny is correct! Somebody is trying to keep somebody else at arms length and to spin out the communication process.

If you are speaking about the situation I described above, you are reading way too far into things my friend. This young Ukrainian woman PMed and asked about my balloon (which she must've seen in my profile photos). We chatted a while and she asked me to send her some (signed) photos of my balloon to show to her dad. Kind of odd I know, but I was happy to oblige. We've written back and forth (snail mail) a couple of times now... that's it! As I said, we'll see where things go. We're talking about meeting up in person at some point, but you lot would have everyone believe we're ready to throw ourselves at each other. In which quote did I allude that things were getting serious? 

[Manny]

Why not supplement the snail mail with a bit of modern communication as well?

[andrewfi]

No matter what your intent might be, there can be no doubt that relying upon letters and the international postal system will slow down whatever you might want to do.

If somebody insisted upon postal mail as the only mode of communication then only one inference can be safely made. Your interlocutor is wanting to slow down communication.

I can understand the use of postal mail to send original documents but in itself that raises questions.

Suggestion: be cautious. You have no way to know what is actually going on. However, the Cynic in me recalls times in the past where innocent sheep found that they had been conditioned to accept odd behaviour by their female (?) interlocutors and that there were reasons for the normalisation process that were not to the benefit of the guy.

[Lord of the Dance]

Why not supplement the snail mail with a bit of modern communication as well?

I'm certainly not against the use of any means of communication that gets the job done... when I'm into my own home and life has calmed down a bit I will probably explore this woman more.

[Lord of the Dance]

Suggestion: be cautious. You have no way to know what is actually going on. However, the Cynic in me recalls times in the past where innocent sheep found that they had been conditioned to accept odd behaviour by their female (?) interlocutors and that there were reasons for the normalisation process that were not to the benefit of the guy.

Yeah, no doubt it's an odd situation. And I certainly agree with what you are saying... my dad has always taught me to be extra defensive when someone is reaching out (as opposed to when you're making that initial contact). She hasn't asked for money yet, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop! 

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

[andrewfi]

It isn't just money.
In fact, given what you've told us, I'd not expect that.

I am not saying that something is wrong but sh!t tends to smell of sh!t.

Sending signed 'anything' to somebody you do not know is not the world's most sensible thing to do. Combined with other, easily accessible date such as your return postal address and even the unimaginative cynic can easily conjure up uses for that which you have already told us that you shared.

[Contrarian]

Suggestion: be cautious. You have no way to know what is actually going on. However, the Cynic in me recalls times in the past where innocent sheep found that they had been conditioned to accept odd behaviour by their female (?) interlocutors and that there were reasons for the normalisation process that were not to the benefit of the guy.

Yeah, no doubt it's an odd situation. And I certainly agree with what you are saying... my dad has always taught me to be extra defensive when someone is reaching out (as opposed to when you're making that initial contact). She hasn't asked for money yet, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop! 

No I really am being cautious though. I've been very honest with her that I don't have a whole lot of time to communicate at the moment. I've left the door open and the ball's in her court.

No doubt you're not ready for a relationship then because when you are you will make the time.

These women admire men with initiative.

So she is a pen pal, nothing more.

The ball isn't in her court. It was in your court.

[Lord of the Dance]

No doubt you're not ready for a relationship...

I've already stated this enough times that you should know so Confederate. Still in the prep stage. 

I know what I'm worth and I'm not going to sell myself short. I'm only going to marry once... if this woman is interested then she needs to put in the same amount of work as well. If she is willing to do so, I am as well. Maybe it'll work out, but if not, there are always others.

[Contrarian]

No doubt you're not ready for a relationship...

I've already stated this enough times that you should know so Confederate. Still in the prep stage. 

I know what I'm worth and I'm not going to sell myself short. I'm only going to marry once... if this woman is interested then she needs to put in the same amount of work as well. If she is willing to do so, I am as well. Maybe it'll work out, but if not, there are always others.

I think you don't understand FSUW.

But never say never!

[Lord of the Dance]

It isn't just money.
In fact, given what you've told us, I'd not expect that.

I am not saying that something is wrong but sh!t tends to smell of sh!t.

Sending signed 'anything' to somebody you do not know is not the world's most sensible thing to do. Combined with other, easily accessible date such as your return postal address and even the unimaginative cynic can easily conjure up uses for that which you have already told us that you shared.

Again, I'll give ya that... not the smartest thing to do. But you have got to take chances sometimes or you'll never make any progress. Due to her photos and the jargon that she has used in our correspondence, she really does seem to be knowledgable about ballooning and I believe she really is a student pilot. But perhaps Boris has just grown craftier over the years. In any case, I'll be happy to keep you all informed as things progress. The ball is in her court... if she wants to pursue a relationship (or alternatively, take advantage of me somehow) then she is free to try. We'll see where things go.

[Contrarian]

A normal FSUW believes that no matter how busy you are, it's your responsibility to make time for her and take bull by the horns.

You're playing the childish game that Americans play.

She isn't American.

All the time you're making excuses here could have been time making plans to go see her.

Is she attractive or is she an ugly duckling?

This talk of "boris" is absurd.

She isn't a model at an agency.

She's a real gal and you lucked out, but your luck is likely to run dry.

I could be wrong but at some point she will completely lose interest in you due to your inability to strike while the iron is hot.

Most FSUW won't tolerate this.

Maybe she already has a boyfriend and strictly wants knowledge about American balooning.

[Lord of the Dance]

A normal FSUW believes that no matter how busy you are, it's your responsibility to make time for her and take bull by the horns.
You're playing the childish game that Americans play.
She isn't American.
All the time you're making excuses here could have been time making plans to go see her.
Is she attractive or is she an ugly duckling?
This talk of "boris" is absurd.
She isn't a model at an agency.
She's a real gal and you lucked out, but your luck is likely to run dry.
I could be wrong but at some point she will completely lose interest in you due to your inability to strike while the iron is hot.
Most FSUW won't tolerate this.
Maybe she already has a boyfriend and strictly wants knowledge about American balooning.

I certainly wouldn't call her an ugly duckling, but she's no model either... middle of the road in that department. Confederate you may think of my unique judgments as a game, but I certainly do not. My 'iron' is still in the furnace and when it comes out, you'll know.