Back to The Ukraine

[AvHdB]

Lvov & Kivy Sunday and Monday Tuesday back to Amsterdam

Haven’t had a dream in such a long time now
It’s raining here and all the leaves are on the ground
But i’m safe and warm, outside it’s cold and grey

Texas, The Guitar Song

Early in the morning Sunday I slipped next to Katarina she slowly woke up and we caressed each other. While we had earlier spoken about matters intimate & she indicated that she wanted to wait until she was recovered from the surgery. As nature would have it she eventually asked if I had a French letter; this we used.

Eventually we got out of bed dressed and went to our coffee place. It still was cold and Katarina organized a guide for the day. For the first three hours we walked around the city and the guide explained bits of history to us. Interestingly he spoke both German and Dutch and a bit of French at times I spoke in Dutch with him. We ate a late lunch in a restaurant dedicated to the partisans. Before we ordered Katarina commented that she was unhappy when were speaking in Dutch and I told her now she knows how I feel when she is speaking in Russian. A wry smile crossed her face.

We decided to have some shots and after three of them Katarina was wobbly; it was interesting to see her character. She was both embarrassed and perhaps even more joyous and giggly at the same time. She spoke more of her frustration in living in Ukraine and her pride in the country. 

Eventually the guide returned and in his late model Mazda we drove around the city and visited some other sites as well as climbing the hills in the city. Eventually we returned to the apartment and Katarina I talked for a while. She asked what my plans were in June and I said I would be going to Basel to see the art fair there. She asked if I would like to go with her to her best friends wedding in Bern. The dates coincide so I guess we will wander about in that part of the world.

That night we ate sushi and Katarina had some foon calls from her mother. We spoke about her mother and her daughter, Viktoria. It was clear that the mother was not happy about me. Also it seemed that the daughter who was not feeling well when Katarina left to be with me had now developed a high fever and an ear infection.  After talking things over it was decided instead of spending Monday night together in Kiev she would go home tomorrow evening to Zhytomyr.

Back in the apartment using my computer Katarina spoke with her friend Viktoria in Switzerland. We all were on the video and her friend commented that we looked good together. Afterwards I gave a very gentle massage using nice oil to Katarina.

Afterwards we watched on my computer the film “As Good as it Gets” I had not seen it for a long time and I remembered that the most of the film is dialogue. In fact it is a very good film and we both laughed and enjoyed watching it together. That night we slept together often coming together for a cuddle or caress. In the morning we called to give the keys back and ordered a taxi to the airport. This turned out to be half the price as going to the city. The flight was not successful being delayed by almost 5 hours Forget the concept of announcements and updates we were mushrooms. Kept in the dark and shit thrown over us. We arrived at 4 pm instead of just before noon in Kiev. We visited two of the artists that I was supposed to see on my earlier trip.

Afterwards we went to my apartment and we transferred all the foto’s to a memory stick for Katarina. From there we ate a Ciro’s and eventually Yuriy my driver came to take Katarina back to Zhytomyr. The plan is to return to Ukraine at the end of the month to meet her daughter and mother. I assume the vetting and execution committee!

Early drive 5 am to the airport on the plane I listened to the 120 kilo American woman with facial hair snore on the flight back to Amsterdam I realized I finally sat next to a beautiful woman on an airplane, twice.

[AvHdB]

Women . . . OK Katarina, she complains her back hurts and I wonder on Skype perhaps she needs to go back to the doctor.

No she explains I bought new high heel shoes and they look so beautiful when I am walking in them!

   OK I understand 

[welder]

Last post is hilarious Av.

[AvHdB]

UPDATE - OK, latter on today back to Ukraine and on to Zhytomyr, will stay until next week with Katarina. The plan is to meet the daughter, Viktoria, almost three years old. Special K has indicated that it would be better not to meet her mother. (Not entirely sure why?) While during the day she will have to work I will start to study Russian with a friend of hers.

HELP! What is a dyslexic doing trying to learn Russian! More important what has gotten in my brain?

I have gone light on gifts, some simple things for Katarina and for Viktoria a Nintje and the books in Russian language a couple days ago I suggested that Katarina could read to two at once. What is odd in the last 36 hours I have had no contact via Skype with her. Am I worried or concerned, no. Is this because there is so much trust and am happy where I am or am I just jaded to the endeavor.

Anyways you will read and I will see, sure Vinny would prefer the other way around! 

[AvHdB]

Nintje, is known in the rest of the world as Miffy.  I am on Skype with Special K  in ten hours!

[AvHdB]

My flight was OK ~ the road trip was hellish to Zhytomyr. Over 4 hours this road in my opinion will not be finshed by the end of May but there were work crews at 9 pm. Katarina was waiting for me and we talked first in a café waiting for the agent of the apartment. She made sure I was settled in but she told me most likely her daughter was awake and crying. We talked and hugged but than the foon call came from her mother and in the background there was a crying child. My apartment was five minutes from Special K’s place and she returned home.

Because of fractured ribs sleep was restless alone.

Friday our translator a young woman named Marina came to help me with Russian lessons. Anyone who masters even basic Russian receives my respect. Oddly enough hearing Russian at times one thinks of sounds in Dutch but the nuances are so different.

Katarina joined us for lunch and Marina returned to work the two of us talked about things and the future together. We discussed crossing bridges together. Special K has two great fears and I felt them also and wondered silently in fear. Her mother is very set against “us” and she was afraid of how I would get along with her young daughter.

Further talking I told her that living close to a major city but in rural Connecticut would not interest her. She admitted that yes this was very true. She asked how did I know this and smiled and explained we are more than just best friends. She took my hand and squeezed it smiling. From here there was a major shall we say bomb . . .  (red flag – run for your life – wow perfect) I am still not sure. I guess some will say red flag others well who bother to read my drivel will say . . . OK lets hear it every one can give there two cents or tuppence. Since I never have considered the possibility I am not even sure what to think. Special K told me she wanted only to live together and not be married. We both have discussed being married twice before and uncertain if we need the pain and hurt a third time.

Our conversation meandered and we talked about a Dutch option and I explained she could conceivably start a consultancy that would allow us to be in Holland together. But my mind was and in fact 12 hours latter still is reeling and puzzling.

Katarina needed to return to work and I was so confused that I obtained a Ukraine cell foon and called my favourite Dutchman in Odessa. He listened and also did not have an answer or opinion except in Ukraine this is unique.

Eventually Katarina returned from work with her daughter Viktoria a supper sweet and cute 3 and half year old. I gave her the Miffy stuffy and she hugged it dearly. Not sure why but at least kids like me and soon this young woman was darting me glances and smiling. Her mother relaxed and as we walked together she smiled saying supper, amazing. After over two hours in an indoor play ground at a mega shopping center we returned and in the taxi there was a long conversation between the women on the back seat. Special K took my hand and told me that Viktoria thought I was a great guy!

Well there is one less bridge before us.

[AvHdB]

Sunday morning, having breakfast in Cava.

Yesterday we spent the day together but Katarina was stressed and in frequent contact with her ex who had Viktoria as well as the mother. She apologized but one could also see her frustration with the aggravation that Mom and ex were causing. First we bowled.  Initially she wanted to play with a 10 pound ball but I suggester accuracy and reasonable speed is more important than weight alone. With practice she was getting the occasional strike. After wards she played pool, American and she lost the first game and the second she easily won. By the third game she was frustrated with her ex and we stopped.

We ate a simple lunch and than ended up at my apartment. We mostly talked but also did other things. One thing that came out was the reality that she has been only divorced formally for six months. But separated for over a year. To me it is clear even with a girl friend the ex has strong feelings for Katarina and refuses to let go.

Part of me wonders do re-bound relations survive? Is this in fact what I have?

I am very fond of Katarina and we seem to fit together well but am I attempting Mission Impossible?

[FreeRabbit]

Part of me wonders do re-bound relations survive? Is this in fact what I have?

I don't think after a whole year apart this would qualify as a rebound relation! Sounds like you have a few minor things to overcome, but it doesn't sound like that one should be a worry for you.

[Dogsoldier]

A year is not that long in the great scheme of things. I guess it would depend on the relationship she had with her ex and how the separation/divorce panned out and her emotional state. Plus there's a child involved.

[NS1]

One year can be enough, depends on Katrina mostly.
Big picture is Momma and how difficult the ex can make it all.
Only you can understand and decide what is next.

[welder]

That's a tough one AV, living together versus marriage. Don't take it personal.  She may have some fears, unfounded or founded, she has not yet revealed.  One can only surmise what may be running through her mind.  Sounds like you have some more digging before you get to the bottom of this issue.  In terms of living together you probably haven't had time to think through the issues of how to proceed. If she is indeed Special K then take some time to evaluate the possibilities. 

In the case of getting the approval of the child, well that is a good thing.  No doubt a relief for your lady.

The momma will be a problem for eternity I am afraid.  You are not only pulling away the daughter but also the grandchild.  If the father is in the picture and momma will create more grief until she witnesses an improvement in the provision for and nurturing of the child.  I watched my sister in law go through this and wondered how in the hell she would have a successful relation with any man in the future given the level of frustration MIL/FIL were creating.  She(SIL) was persistent and strong willed.  Some years later the parents have quite dramatically changed their position as they see the child has a stable father figure and much better opportunities in life.

No pearls of wisdom, sorry.  But good luck.

[AvHdB]

Special K & The Yankee~Cloggie in L'viv

[ni3]

Welkom thuis. 0639674155 nico.

[Vinnvinny]

Cool pics AvHdB, thanks for posting. I hope you find what you look for. 

[NS1]

AV you like this girl and daughter, do what you have to and go as far as you need
to be sure. better that, than to wonder what if. Besides if she's the one and you both know
it she will want it also!

[Donhollio]

We ate a simple lunch and than ended up at my apartment. We mostly talked but also did other things. One thing that came out was the reality that she has been only divorced formally for six months. But separated for over a year. To me it is clear even with a girl friend the ex has strong feelings for Katarina and refuses to let go.

Part of me wonders do re-bound relations survive? Is this in fact what I have?

I am very fond of Katarina and we seem to fit together well but am I attempting Mission Impossible?

 Av , from what you have written it seems to me that you just need to spend more time with them both somehow. It appears to me that doing the 'mission impossible' may be a good option. She seems to be more willing and fun.  But there is always a risk involved, you may lose them both, or you may make the wrong decision.
 I don't see anything that should make you run away from them.  Good luck with what you choose, and thanks for sharing.

[AvHdB]

In fact I am in a wait and see mode or perhaps I should hope and pull my hair out status with Special K. For the newbies this affliction can happen with women from the former Soviet Union. She received an e.Mail from me and said last week she would reply. So far nothing but a couple days ago she again was on Skype we spoke.

An odd moment last week when I was in Zhytomyr out of the Catholic church came several hundred prashioners with there twigs of willow, mostly children in the pimply stage having not yet reached Smokinhotova status, trust me it does come.

In any event it was cold and I decided to wear a huddie from my kids college; Calvin. One younger priest looked alarmed and made the sign of the cross as he passed me. I am not always clever and it took me several moments to connect his reaction (I guess) to what was embroidered on my clothing.

Oh well I can only say Praise the Lord.

[AvHdB]

The end has arrived between me and Special K. I can cry, have a Scotch or pull up my belt and try again.

Such is this adventure.

I think of those H. David/B. Bachrach songs One Less Bell to Answer & God Give me the Strength

[Dogsoldier]

The end has arrived between me and Special K. I can cry, have a Scotch or pull up my belt and try again.

Such is this adventure.

I think of those H. David/B. Bachrach songs One Less Bell to Answer & God Give me the Strength

My commiserations. What happened? Did she she end it?

[Larry]

I'm sorry to hear things have ended. It's very hard to make one of these relationships work. I know it won't make you feel any better, but there is a girl for you, one with whom it won't be so difficult. 

I wish you luck, my friend.

[AvHdB]

In the end she was afraid of the age difference in 10 years time.

[AvHdB]

My commiserations. What happened? Did she she end it?

In the end she was afraid of the age difference down the road.

[Dogsoldier]

Av, this might sound a bit trite, but, if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. When you're ready, get out there and try again. 

[d672]

 Sorry to hear that Av, but like Dogsoldier said, if it wasn`t meant to be then it wasn`t meant to be.

 Just keep you chin up, when you do meet the right one this will all seem like a distant memory. 

[NS1]

Sorry to hear it AV. You trip reports showed you were getting closer each trip.
Maybe a cry, scotch first then back in the saddle.