Freaked out with a long way to go.

[Still_Water]

Up-thread it seems that she is a Russian/Jewish girl who lives in a room of the flat belonging to her parents.

So, since then, i became really sensitized to this reality., and last weekend we were in church. About 4 rows in front, there is a tall brown headed boy, who is really enjoying the worship music. He is sort of dancing in his own way, and i see that my wife is fixated. So, naturally, i get offended, and later, i asked her about this, and she admitted she was "fascinated" by his dancing...."but not in the way you think".....So, i pointed out that starting at any male, >staring<, while with her husband, or BF, is very offensive. Her response is that........."everybody looks".......and that "she does not care if i look".

(bold added)

I look at your rambling above and wonder if:

- you're lying and have accidentally constructed a scene that simply couldn't fit the story. Russian Jews immigrated to Israel in order to enjoy freedom and practice their faith. So really, a Jewish girl going to church?

- or, the girl is giving the marriage more effort than you are willing to admit, attending church with you in spite of being Jewish?

Strange that you'd write about her refusing to go with you to the beach but admit that she is willing to go along with you to church.

Well, before you become too self righteous, just realize that this is a blind public forum..ive named no names, ive given no address, ive posted no pics.
im am simply a voice without a face who is listing undiscoverable events.
so, its no harm and no foul. Its perfectly acceptable to discuss what im discussing, the way im discussing it. Its incognito, and its harmless, and probably its the most entertainment value, in a strange way, that has come to this forum in a while.

(bold added)

First off, no it is not okay. Again, not something a MAN does. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

Secondly, are you a "long time reader, first time writer" or as many suspect, a troll?

im not a troll.

She wanted to take me to church because she wants me to involve myself with this group so that i will spend time there and not be home all the time arguing with her about why she ignores me.
Really.

she had this idea that if she can get me gone............then she can have that free time and quiet time she is trying to possess.
So, the church idea was not for the benefit of the service, but with hopes they would give me a job there playing in the worship group.
She hoped i would sort of turn to this and spend my time doing it, and in this way, im home a lot less, which gives her that free time she is always trying to maintain.

really.


and the boy story, is a fact.
it was after this incident, that she told me that ......"everybody looks, and i dont mind if you look".

So, all this did was confirm to me that this girl has an eye problem that cant be fixed with bi-focals.

Imagine if  your girlfriend or boyfriend,.......after you caught them staring at some opposite sex, then tells you........"well, everybody does it, so, i dont mind if you do it".

geez.
AT LEAST DENY IT.

what will she tell me next.??
"Well, everybody has affairs"
"Well, everybody downloads porn".


ext.

[Ade]

You have still not aswered the question as to your location. Your incoherent ramblings do not allow any solid advice to be given. But from what you have told us two possibilities for her behavior come to mind. First, she is not attracted to you. Second, she does not respect you. Time to go home if you are in fact in Isreal. As Manny advised do not import her to the US. Your problems will multiply tenfold.

Hi,
im in Israel, as i posted.

2nd, nothing about my posts are incoherent, nor do they ramble.

Ive stated, simply, that this girl has no normal affection, and ive tried to understand it, and deal.
however, i dont want to deal, i want to have a normal love life.
And for some reason, "normal" to this girl means, separate beds, separate rooms, ...lots of time alone, never sharing a meal, ...
in other words, ...........im married to a roommate, and this seems to be her idea of love.
Its not mine.

My idea of love is very simple.
She becomes my world, and i become hers.
We are one with no place for a "single" mindset.

No matter who is at fault here, it is fairly obvious that you don't have a marriage worth saving, or in fact, a marriage at all in the traditional sense. Divorce and go back to the US (not necessarily in that order). You will both be happy for it.

Going by your posts I would say that you have at the very least some serious personal issues you need to work on. You also don't seem to be at the top of the class in terms of social aptitude. Consider a therapist/counselor.

FWIW, in my experience, normal Russian women are open, warm and affectionate people although they can come across a little stand offish to strangers. Those with psychological problems are as messed up as Western women with the same.

[Krassie]

You are telling us only your part of your "love" story. And it looks that you have very serious health, emotional and psychological problems which may lead to very serious swings of mood. And everything you say is all about "I". But family is "WE". And don't blame only her, try to figure out what you are doing wrong.

Do you know how she feels living with you? You say she is never at home. She has to work to survive , and many people in Israel keep two jobs to survive. You say about food. Food is very good in that part of the world, it's healthy and delicious. If you are 'junk' food eater, that's not her problem.

You came to your new country to live, how are you going to survive there? Did you apply for any kind of job? I have a friend who immigrated to that country a number of years ago.  He was a high rank musician, and the only job he found was a piano player at the restaurant, plus full time job at the factory. You stay there for almost two months, and instead of whining, better keep your family alive or go to US.

I fully understand your wife, she comes home tired, needs some good rest at night. She cannot sleep with you probably because you snore, or have some other sleep disorder, torture her with sex, and she needs to work tomorrow.

Both of you suffer from the lack of communication.  You think you know each other ,... but you know nothing about each other. She cannot even feel safe with you. One time you said she was a musician like you, now she is a nurse. how come? 

If you feel uncomfortable, unloved, not needed and not wanted, what are you doing there? You spent 5 years of your life for cyber love , you wasted your money and time, and you never found time to see the girl in person before getting married, all this sounds very sick to me, sorry to say. If you like someone try to meet that person as soon as possible in real life.

I am surprised that the fact that the girl is with you on the internet every evening, and has a boyfriend at the same time, doesn't stop you. Don't blame her, blame only yourself.

I consider your posts about your intimate life with her very offensive. It's family and it should stay in the family unless you want to consult a psychologist .

[edit 2tallbill, I put in a some blank lines to make krassies post easier to read]

[Boris]

Great post, Krassie. Welcome. A must read for the single guys who are looking. Just for the record I like to "torture" my wife with sex, too. 

[Vinnvinny]

Just for the record I like to "torture" my wife with sex, too. 

This torturing your wife business is well overrated in my opinion, a bit like Beyonce.

[Boris]

Just for the record I like to "torture" my wife with sex, too. 

This torturing your wife business is well overrated in my opinion, a bit like Beyonce.

I can understand how your partners would feel it was torture and overrated. 

Bada boom.

I prefer Rhianna..

[TomT]

So, i think that last BF, who was about 18, absolutely rode this girl into a worn out place where she now just has no joy in sex with anyone she loves or loves her.

I believe that the reverse is true: that an abundant and satisfying sex/lovelife tends to increase a woman's libido, rather than to wear her out. Blaming the 18-year-old sex machine isn't going to help anything, especially considering that the problem probably doesn't lie between the sheets in any case. The old saw that sex is a barometer of the health of a relationship is built around a kernal of truth. Unfortunately, you are trying to change the calibration of said barometer instead of dealing with the core issues.

On a slightly different but somewhat related note, it wouldn't surprise me if the boy who was dancing in the church was more than just someone who reminded her of her ex.

[andrewfi]

Forget the sex, forget the location, forget pretty much everything.

If you want to understand if a person has 'issues' then look at what they tell you about eating.

Seriously!

The human body can digest many things. Our choices of what to eat or not are, absent rare allergy issues, conditioned by our own heads.

This is a bloke who has told us can not eat properly because he is unable to obtain a particular brand of canned meat from a particular shop. (I am sure that he IS eating and that back home he did eat food other than canned chicken from Walmart but it is indicative that he needed to mention it and that he sees the kind of food around him as an issue.)

A person who is THIS picky about his food has waaay bigger issues going on. To be honest, of all the things this person has written it is about the only thing on which one can rely for truth.

If he is telling a story that is true from his perspective then whatever else he needs to do he needs to address the issues that lead to his food obsession, doing so will likely help with the other stuff too.
Just as a sanity check, how many adults who were really picky eaters have you ever known who did not have other serious symptoms of something or other?

=========================

Tom, your point about libido is certainly true in cases where the sex is enjoyed but if it is not then libido tends to fall away and will only be restored when sex is once again pleasurable.

[mendeleyev]

Andrew, +1.

You are spot on about the food disorders and how they often reveal much larger issues.

[mendeleyev]

2nd, nothing about my posts are incoherent, nor do they ramble.

So in addition to broke musician you're also a stand up comic!     

[TomT]

If he ain't a cannibal, he's normal by our standards.

Anyway, people with certain auto-immune disorders have to be careful about what they eat.

[Anteros]

You are telling us only your part of your "love" story. And it looks that you have very serious health, emotional and psychological problems which may lead to very serious swings of mood.

I consider your posts about your intimate life with her very offensive. It's family and it should stay in the family unless you want to consult a psychologist.

 

[Manny]

You have still not aswered the question as to your location. Your incoherent ramblings do not allow any solid advice to be given. But from what you have told us two possibilities for her behavior come to mind. First, she is not attracted to you. Second, she does not respect you. Time to go home if you are in fact in Isreal. As Manny advised do not import her to the US. Your problems will multiply tenfold.

Hi,
im in Israel, as i posted.

One of the things mods here do is randomly check data of those with stories such as this. It just makes sure that the member is not an old banned member returning, a spammer or some other internet undesirable. I asked you your location a while back because it seemed unusual; because I had looked already where you appeared to be coming from.

Now, I don't doubt your story. It has too much detail to be fake IMO. However, I am confused about the location issue.

Do me a favour, go here: http://www.ip-address.org/ and I bet it doesn't say you are in Israel.

[andrewfi]

If he ain't a cannibal, he's normal by our standards.

Anyway, people with certain auto-immune disorders have to be careful about what they eat.

I am sure he ain't a cannibal, but do you think that eating canned chicken breast from Walmart is a recognised treatment for any autoimmune illnesses?
It is that level of detail that is telling. It means that it is important enough for him that in the midst of all this crap this is yet another thing onerous enough to add to the list of misery - yet look at how trivial it really is?

If his previous illnesses were so significant now that he can eat only canned chicken breast from Walmart I douubt that his quack would have let him make a trip of the kind he has suggested he has taken.

Dunno about Israel but even in this benighted little country I can go to a supermarket and have a choice of tinned chicken breast and that in a country where convenience food is much less common than in the Home of the Brave. I doubt that Israel is any less forthcoming than my home base!

[TomT]

... but do you think that eating canned chicken breast from Walmart is a recognised treatment for any autoimmune illnesses?

I have no idea. My comment was based on my observations of a girl who had fibromyalgia. Lots of foods gave her adverse reactions but meat and potatoes never affected her. Her doctor speculated that the problem might be connected to her auto-immune disorder; he may or may not have been correct.

[Manny]

This is a bloke who has told us can not eat properly because he is unable to obtain a particular brand of canned meat from a particular shop. (I am sure that he IS eating and that back home he did eat food other than canned chicken from Walmart but it is indicative that he needed to mention it and that he sees the kind of food around him as an issue.)

A person who is THIS picky about his food has waaay bigger issues going on. To be honest, of all the things this person has written it is about the only thing on which one can rely for truth.

Some time ago, you and I were lamenting that "proper" bacon and sausages cannot be found in Estonia which is why we import. You also missed several other things from the UK that I made available on one of my road trips. Branston, etc.

Isn't this the same?

We may chortle at the idea of chicken in a can. No, I didn't know it existed either. But if I were stuck in Israel, I might crave a Daily Mail and a bacon butty on proper toast with brown sauce. Isn't this the same?

[2tallbill]

This is a bloke who has told us can not eat properly because he is unable to obtain a particular brand of canned meat from a particular shop. (I am sure that he IS eating and that back home he did eat food other than canned chicken from Walmart but it is indicative that he needed to mention it and that he sees the kind of food around him as an issue.)

A person who is THIS picky about his food has waaay bigger issues going on. To be honest, of all the things this person has written it is about the only thing on which one can rely for truth.

Some time ago, you and I were lamenting that "proper" bacon and sausages cannot be found in Estonia which is why we import. You also missed several other things from the UK that I made available on one of my road trips. Branston, etc.

Isn't this the same?

We may chortle at the idea of chicken in a can. No, I didn't know it existed either. But if I were stuck in Israel, I might crave a Daily Mail and a bacon butty on proper toast with brown sauce. Isn't this the same?

Yeah, I see him as suffering from culture shock. Everyone tells about the girls getting it and complaining
about seemingly silly things like people smiling at them for no reason, is there some reason to think
that guys don't get it either? 

[ChrisE]

Israel really can be quite a culture shock to people from the west who have had little or no exposure to Jewish law. It's sort of a double whammy because it's also basically a middle eastern country with the related diet of local foods, climate, etc.

 My first time there I was definately not fully prepared for what I was about to experience. The saving force was the number of people who spoke English, and the many Americans who had become Israeli citizens. It took a while getting used to not having bacon or ham for breakfast, not mixing meat and dairy, the amount of olives and persimmons,  and Saturday being the Shabat among many other things. But on the flip side, after the first month of so, I had made many friends and assimilated well into the lifestyle and culture, as well as coming to really love the country and people.

So as far as culture shock goes, Israel can be a doozy for many. But there are so many people who are happy to hold out their hands to help and just be friends, not assimilating well after 3 months is hardly possible unless a person is a "schmuck" to begin with.

[Still_Water]

I've taken time to read this thread

In short, tie up the loose ends, get an amicable divorce asap and go home to rebuild your life. Suffer the heart ache and head  no more and get on with your life before you regret dragging your heels. Not easy I'm sure if your emotionally attached, but from the unattached point of view, the situation appears irrecoverable. If all is how you describe, your wife either has issues/problems she won't share with you, which doesn't bode well for a healthy marriage or she simply doesn't love you and doesn't know how to handle the situation she's found herself in.

Hi,

thanx for reading and responding.
i appreciate your considered thoughts and opinions.

I'll tell ya.
its weird here.
For those of you who travel abroad and are from the states, i can tell you that the Hebrew world experience is different.
Maybe i just dont understand the "euro" mindset at all, and perhaps, the Hebrew mindset is stunningly different then the French or the Italian, however, just in case its sort of similiar regarding behavior all over Europe, i can tell anyone who is considering travel to Israel....
These people are rude.
The entire lifestyle here is much more frentic and frenzy then in the US.
Ive never seen people behave as these do here.
They are loud, they dont seem to recognize the idea of "public behavior", and ive never been in a place that has so many angry horn blowing drivers.
In short, the Israel experience is one that does not understand the idea of "polite" or "considerate".
Its a free for all.
And if this is how the Euro experience is in general, then you can have it.
I dont like it.
I prefer manners and consideration.
Here, there is none.
I honestly feel like im in a weird version of '1951 America, except the Mayberry town is full of very rude people.
Is this Europe?...Russia?....
Geez..

Now about what you wrote.

Do you believe in "Freudian slips'?

Well, a few times my wife has said something in anger or frustration, and when this happens, she'll say something that is disconnected from the persona she has built for me.
And perhaps, this is where the trouble lies...
It very well could be that she has created for me this idea of herself that she recognized that i wanted her to be based on how i explained myself over the years.
So, she sort of flexed to this idea online, thinking that this would get me to come.
And it did.....but the issue afterwards was that there is a difference between talking about affection and being affectionate.
There is a difference between seeming to be, and being.

I think she created an idea of herself to win me, but the real her is the Russian girl who does not really function well with regards to romance, affection, or even simple togetherness.
I think her idea of togetherness, means we are in the same apartment.
Something like that.

But im an American.
And Americans need their women to be very attentive., and this one is very attentive, but on her schedule, which is a very limited basis.
She loves to be with me for about an hour.
The other 14 hrs she is awake she would prefer to be playing her piano, or organizing her closet for the 25th time, or perhaps cooking some new pie idea.
And i can feel her frustration when she is forced to be around me a lot.
I can feel the tension, and i can feel the stress.
Its so obvious.

Let me ask you a question.
Is this a lie?

you tell me.


We were having an argument about a month ago.
She had left that morning for work and we were very angry, both.
She was not even willing to stay in a room with me.
So, she came home at 10:30- noon.
At about 11:20 i sort of chased her down and told her i needed to go somewhere, and needed to do it at 11:30.
So, very angrily she said......."im not going now, but i'll take you at 11:45a.
So , i left the room, and waited till 12, and she never came to get me and never left the room.
At 12:03 i found her and she was getting her dad ready to go.
Now keep in mind i was told , 11:45, and this is now 12:03.
So, i cornered her and said, "whats up", i was waiting for you outside at 11:45 and you didnt come.
She told me..."i had no plan to take you anywhere at 11:45"...........AND WHY?...."we are not talking, we are not getting along".

So, what is that?

here is another one.
Is this a lie?

3 days ago, she was in a panic because she lost track of her Visa account and a huge payment came due, and that morning she is freaking out.
She asked me for about $800USD to cover it, and i saw the account and she was right.
She had forgotten to defer the date, and so, it caught up with her as she forgot it.
So, she came home after writing me a letter that she left asking me to let her know.
So, i wrote her one back and talked about the fact that the night before she was telling me to get my ticket and fly my ass back to the USA.
So, here the very next day, she is telliing me i need to help her with the debt, as i helped create it.......
So, In my note i wrote about most of the things i have discussed here.........the lack of affection, the weird dead sex, the past boyfriend and how she deals with me vs him........I talked about the boy in church, i talked about all the stuff you have read.
At the end of the note, i told her it was impossible for me to get a $1550 Delta Ticket and pay the $800 to ship my stuff and give her the $800 she required.
She read the note, and never came to my room to answer me or discuss it.
So, later, maybe 20 mins after she was home and i knew she had time to read it, i went into her room and said......"so what".
Long story short, she accused me of being a bad person who would not help her with OUR debt.
I informed her of the fact that i was told to LEAVE that very morning as well as the night before, and so, what about that.
She informed me that the debt was there, no matter if i left, and so, that was her concept of it.
Then she told me to never mind, coz she had asked her mother, and her mother agreed to help.
So, i said, WHAT.!!!!!!!, and then i said, did you tell her i would not help???..........she replied "YES, i told her you would not help so i had to ask her".
I hit an orbit.
I think i found Uranus.
I told her are u out of your mind?.....what are you doing telling your mother i wont help.......when i told you that i cant if i have to leave..........so, now you mother only has part of the picture you painted that leaves out the fact i was told to LEAVE........so, i said, YOU WILL CORRRECT THIS ISSUE, YOU WILL TELL YOUR MOTHER ALL OF THE FACTS.....blah blah blah, and she refused, so i went and got the mother and confronted my wife with the whole story, or tried, but then after 15 seconds, my wife  just angrily left the room.
So, for the next 5 mins, i carefully explained to the mother that i would certainly help with the debt, and i would never leave the debt and run, ect.....and i explained that the daughter had asked me to leave (in anger), and so, i was kind stuck.
After this is all over, i go and take a break, only to find the mother and the daughter still in the living room.
So, i took the wife back to her room and told her what i just told you.
From there we went to the bank to withdraw the funds.
now here is the catch.............when we were driving my wife informed me that her mother "almost asked me why you didnt pay the debt""""""...............So reader....do you see???...............do you see it?..........she never actually told her mother i would not pay it......It was just manipulation that went awry............and later i asked her why she told me she had told her mom i would not pay it, and my wife denied she ever said this....

and of course, im still not functioning on all cylinders after being told that its "ok if i look at women," after ive confronted my wife about her looking at men...............i still cant quite swallow that one down, but i have tried to just dismiss it..
Difficult.
Am i jealous, possessive?
no.
Im just concerned that i dont get burned in an unfaithful fire after ive left the life i knew, flew 5,000 miles, and married a stranger to give her the ability to come to the USA and have a real life.
So, to be burned by a player, ........hummmm.
Id go to jail fellas.
It would be too much to bear, ..to know that i was so used and violated.
So, if u read about me in the Isralie times, you'll know what this crazy girl did to set off that passion play.

I dont want to know that my wife admits to looking at men.
Yuck.
there is honesty, and there is diplomacy, and there are times you dont admit some things...
You know?
I sure you, the reader, look at the opposite sex.......but do you tell your mate she or he can and you dont care?
Dont lie.
U dont want to know your mate is looking at others.
C'mon.
So, give me a break.
That was some info i didnt want to hear.
Much like........"How do you like marriage sex, its not like meeting someone for the first time, is it"...

And this one......^^^^^^^^^^^^, later she told me......."well, i didnt mean i had experience with a lot of one night stands or even ONCE, but what i meant was , in a general way, if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend who you dont live with, and you have a date, ...ect.

In a way,, all this is just too funny to believe, however, im not making it up.........it is my life, currently.


Today was wild.
I found out that the yearly "car service" she had planned is not a requirement, so, i told her that as i can change oil, and top of the fluids, i dont think we need to spend $500 for the "service".
She freaked.
Told me that to sell the car , we have to have this service every year, so that there is a paper trail that will help the future buyer to feel confident.
I again said........."but i can change the oil, and do all the rest, except for the brake pads, and i can probably do those".
= fell on deaf ears.........she just turned off, and would not talk, and avoided me for 2 hours, and told me that there was no way i was going with her when she went.
Later.
I go.
The place is closed for some holiday they are having here.
So, we go "shopping", and she is moody, and edgy, and im trying to lay low.
About 40 mins into the hardware store walkaround, i just went and sat in the office chair section.
After about 15 mins, i went to find her, and guess what.
She had bought a few item and left the store.
So, im now in a mood, as i dont like to be left without a clue..., and so im just standing in the middle of the store when i see her way down the aisle walking briskly, back to me...... looking for me.
I catch up and she tells me......"i looked for you and could not find you, so i purchased the stuff, took it to the car, and moved the car.""""

Diagnosis=
She didnt have time to do all that and search for me...
See,...
I was in a chair, right by the center aisle, and could not be missed, (unless you didnt look).............get it?
So, i think she left, and move the car so that i could realize all this, and sit there in fumes.
And did i mention that when she told me......."well, i could not find you"....i told her......"why would i have gone to the car as you suggested when i told you before i left that i was not taking my KEYS.........so, did you think i would be SITTING ON THE CAR

Ok.
im sure there is more to come.
stay tuned.

[ECR844]

In the future please don't compose your musing's like a 14yo sending extended text messages. It makes reading your drivel that much harder to to do for the avg forum goer and does not reflect positively on you..

[Still_Water]

In the future please don't compose your musing's like a 14yo sending extended text messages. It makes reading your drivel that much harder to to do for the avg forum goer and does not reflect positively on you..

If you have attention deficit disorder, then is that my fault?

what you should do, is take you time with what i write, and just try to take it all in.
Try a bright light, and maybe a cup of coffee.
If this does not help, then try one of the other Threads that are more suited to your attention span.

regards,


S_W

[MrMann]

Are you really 43?

[Still_Water]

Bill,

thx for the response.
i appreciate the fact that you took the time to be thoughtful.

i wish i could say that talking will help.
i wish i could say that i have not tried to talk this issue into submission.
however, she does not want to talk about it, as she feels that talking about an issue that is causing friction is "arguing", and so, she will not talk to me about it.
that is why im talking so much here.

and calming down is difficult at this point, as im isolated in this room which feels now like a prison in the middle of Mars.

You are going through major culture shock. Buy eggs, bread and have
a normal breakfast. You can eat the garbanzo beans, olive oil and
experimental stuff for the other meals.

Ok, here are the options as I see it.

1. Calm down and INSIST that she talk to you about everything. Be calm, be firm.
2. Divorce her and leave.

There is no doubt that im in a major culture shock free fall.
Im not sleeping, im not eating well, and of course, in isolated like a cat in a cage.
In sure this is 50% of my issue.
However the other 50% is becoming the 100%, and i cant seem to stop it.
Its as if there is a curse on this situation.
Ive not written about this aspect, but im not kidding,........everything has misfired about this situation.
From the moment i landed, its as if a divine hand has made sure i was shown everything in a way , perspective wise, that caused me to doubt, feel jealousy, and feel ignored and cast aside.
And regarding the rest........things like getting health insurance, or getting my ID........its all been a major Cluster .

As i also told you, im a professional musician, and the idea was for me to set up my recording stuff from day one, in the "big room", and in this way i could sort of as quickly as possible ground myself in my usual life, even tho i was here.
Well, it took about 5 weeks for the Tel Aviv post office to finally release my stuff.
Then i had to pay a whole lot of money to get it, after paying a =whole lot to ship it.
and in that 5 weeks, my wife decided i was a stranger, and i got this incredible bowel issue, and im talking a nightmare.
Took 4.5 weeks to stop my flooding colon.
So, can you imagine anything worse?
I cant even take a normal bathroom trip for nearly 5 weeks.
And of course, that made being in bed with my wife kinda interesting.
She is a nurse, and she's use to the body being a body, but wow..........nearly 5 weeks of Montazuma's revenge?
That was a wild ride.
So, all of this has just really turned me into an edgy wildcat.
And of course, all she has been doing or not doing has only increased the rest of the rest.

[Still_Water]

Nice rant. 

That's a fairly unhealthy view you've taken on your beloved wife and there's every chance she would call it different given a chance.  Sounds like she may have other problems or as has already been suggested, she's simply made a mistake and not into you.
[/quote]

====================================================================================
===========================================================================================

what would she say about me?
i can answer that..

regarding me talking to her about the fact that she slept in the same bed with her last BF, but would not do it for me without a war.....

she would say that she told me she was not going to talk to me about her last BF....

And the reason i found out about the sleeping habits was because she sort of slipped during a fight and told me.


what else?

i have not a clue as to why she would not enjoy our sex life.
its been all about me giving her an incredible amount of stimulation and attention.
All ive been able to conclude is that her last BF was only 18, and she probably had to teach the newbie, and in the process, he just became an 18 year old with a constant erection who had  an available sex buddy.
This means, it was so constant;y coming at her.... that she just burned out trying to satisfy it, and now the result is what she has with me, which is to say that she cant really find sex fresh or magical, and the cause is previous burnout.

She would tell you that i cook my meals, i make my bed, i clean the bathroom, i do the dishes, ...
So, i think she found a winner, in this regard.

I dont snore, burp, pass gass in public, or pick my nose in public.
So, cant find a reason there to treat me as if im invisiable.

Its quite possible that she just is not use to someone who is so outward in their demands and requests.
Maybe she thought i would just go quietly to my room till i was summoned.
Not quite.

Look, all she could tell you is that i found out some things about her past love life, and after i did, i would not allow her any peace as long as she would not give me the same rights as she gave the last BF.
I never said..........."ok, you did him 3 times a day, so you must do me 3 times a day".
All i said was........."look love, i feel that if you had so much with him and so little with me, and we are newly married, then this causes me to feel as if i am so much less to you, then he.".
And thats how i feel, and how i felt, and you would feel exactly the same.
Be honest.
So, it was not even a debate, it was a demand, and perhaps the fact that i used her past, was very offensive to her, and perhaps this offense caused her to shut off.
Its possible.

It is very strange tho, that a girl can hug and kiss a cat in such an affectionate manner, but with me, she just becomes so, well.......placid and unresponsive....

She IS eagar to please me, but, its always with the feeling of getting to the end of the session.
So, that is why i feel that she is a victim of one to many trips to the 3x a day land of fornication.
She just seems to me, to be a girl that is worn ready, and has no other method now.
Or as she calls is........."marriage sex".

[Still_Water]

Still_water, may I ask you, are you in Israel now? Or must you use a proxy for some reason?

The simplest and most obvious reason being he's a troll and has seen just how easy it is to generate lengths of pages on this forum with a good old juicy train wreak story either that or he's writing a soft-core porn novel and fishing for ideas. Anyway, I'm surprised its only 5 pages so far

In the outside chance this is actually a true story I apologize ahead of time!

Its all true.
The places, the situation, the people involved.
100% real.