2nd meeting with Inna, this time in Istanbul

[censu]

It's been a bit of a whirl wind so far this trip. It's Saturday morning now and we got in late Wednesday. I've decided against one of my usual trip reports as I don't have the time or energy for the BS and 2nd guessing that comes along with it.

When I get back to America I'll add a small follow up and maybe a few pictures but that's all.

But for now, as I'd said from the first time meeting this lovely creature, she's so honest and genuine and also a bit shy and quiet. Each day she realizes she can be herself with me a bit more. Just yesterday I made a joke about her doing something I had done and in a playful way she corrected me and told me it was me and it was a great mutual laugh.

We seem to be very compatible, so far in every way. She's very affectionate and touchy feely. She wants as many photos of me as I do of her. We always seem to be touching which I personally love. She loves that I lead and it seems that's the natural order of things for her.

One last thing, we're already talking about future trips and she seems happy about it.

more when I get back

C

[GuppyCaptain]

Awesome stuff    Enjoy it!

[PBRstreetg]

What's the best course of action? Propose and lock it down, or wait and see for (forgive maybe 3rd or 4th meetings to be sure?)
 
I'm not directing this at you specifically I'm just asking. When do you know? My little brother said the
underbelly of the whole MOB thing (and I'm paraphrasing, he didn't use that acronym) was "does she know you as well as you think you know her?
 
 
We should be careful in this endeavor, maybe the EU guys are better off. Whatever. I'm saying more trips are not going to ruin a good relationship, if anything odds are it will be improved.
 
FSUW that you know are good to go. Keep that in mind on the search
 

[Isthmus]

PBR, the more meetings the better, the more frequent the better I say.

I just spent a week with my lady friend from KZ. I met her on a WMVM trip in May.  Met in Thailand again last week and I plan to head back to KZ in early October.  If all goes well I want her to come to Australia in Dec/Jan. There are no short cuts in this caper IMHO.

PS - goodluck Censu, hope it goes well

[PBRstreetg]

Seems you know as well or better than myself what you're doing, my unofficial motto is "wrung what ya brung"
 
I stole that from a NASCAR pit boss in my not so younger days))
 
Good luck and happy questing Sir 

[DPRK]

What's the best course of action? Propose and lock it down, or wait and see for (forgive maybe 3rd or 4th meetings to be sure?)
 
I'm not directing this at you specifically I'm just asking. When do you know? My little brother said the
underbelly of the whole MOB thing (and I'm paraphrasing, he didn't use that acronym) was "does she know you as well as you think you know her?
 
 
We should be careful in this endeavor, maybe the EU guys are better off. Whatever. I'm saying more trips are not going to ruin a good relationship, if anything odds are it will be improved.
 
FSUW that you know are good to go. Keep that in mind on the search

Here's the sticky wicket. By their nature, these are compressed relationships. So the timeline is automatically sped up in comparison to domestic relationships in which the two parties are on the same continent and time zone.

If a woman or a man waits too long to seal the deal, nature is going to take its course, because absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/719393/guy-code-long-distance-relationships.jhtml

So it really all depends on how much funding, fidelity, and patience are available to pull off the whole slow and careful approach. As far as "really knowing each other," it is wise for any person to arm themselves with practical knowledge, such as applied psychology and general life experience to avoid the unpleasant surprises of which your brother is rightfully wary.

That said, I feel if the woman is your soul mate, then the woman is your soul mate, and there won't be an unreasonable amount of waiting for either person. That was our experience, for what it's worth.

[sashathecat]

What's the best course of action? Propose and lock it down, or wait and see for (forgive maybe 3rd or 4th meetings to be sure?)
 
I'm not directing this at you specifically I'm just asking. When do you know?

Here's the sticky wicket. By their nature, these are compressed relationships. So the timeline is automatically sped up in comparison to domestic relationships in which the two parties are on the same continent and time zone.

If a woman or a man waits too long to seal the deal, nature is going to take its course, because absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/719393/guy-code-long-distance-relationships.jhtml

So it really all depends on how much funding, fidelity, and patience are available to pull off the whole slow and careful approach. As far as "really knowing each other," it is wise for any person to arm themselves with practical knowledge, such as applied psychology and general life experience to avoid the unpleasant surprises of which your brother is rightfully wary.

That said, I feel if the woman is your soul mate, then the woman is your soul mate, and there won't be an unreasonable amount of waiting for either person. That was our experience, for what it's worth.

Good thoughts on it DPRK.

We always seem to be touching which I personally love.

Love this about FSUW. Congrats to all going well!

[Millaa]

 

[censu]

It's funny you direct the talk in this direction. I'll write more when I'm back in America, but I accidentally proposed to her on the 2nd day. It was a translation issue. I later got myself into a little trouble trying to explain myself. But we worked it all out great and in hind sight, it really broke the ice. Not suggesting it to anyone but worked here.

It's 10am here, I leave in an hour for the airport. I took Inna at 3:30am this morning and given the party in the hotel kept us up till after 1am it wasn't easy. I'm glad I decided to go with her, she was like a deer in the headlights when we got there. She clearly needed me to lead. She was extremely grateful. I waited till she cleared security before I left. But I did catch her wiping away tears and she was looking back every 4-5 paces.

I got back to the room at 5am and it's the strangest feeling. We were together the entire trip and to come back to an empty (of her and her stuff) room was odd. Almost felt like a break up but it's anything but. I'm planning to go see her in Oct and told her I want to meet her dad, I have a question for him. She knows what I want to ask and she has a great big smile each time I mention it.

Anyway, I need to get ready. Here's a few of the many pics we took. These are some of my favs.

C

[Q36ESM]

Congratulations!!!!  I am glad you had an awesome second meeting! Wish you both the best of luck and thanks for sharing your experiences and photos! She is beautiful. 

[sashathecat]

I got back to the room at 5am and it's the strangest feeling. We were together the entire trip and to come back to an empty (of her and her stuff) room was odd. Almost felt like a break up but it's anything but. I'm planning to go see her in Oct and told her I want to meet her dad, I have a question for him. She knows what I want to ask and she has a great big smile each time I mention it.

This is the hard part. The ups and downs between visits and being apart. Looks like you are on track with an already planned upcoming visit. When I asked my FIL the "question" he gave me a funny look. I got the feeling it was not really customary to do this in Ukraine. Not sure, maybe someone with more knowledge can comment. In any case, if it makes your fiance smile it is the right thing to do. Congrats!

[censu]

I'm back home, it's a little after 5am local time, but my body is still on Istanbul time, so I slept in till 11am, even though I only got 6 hours sleep. Head is pounding from jet lag and the weather. Warm, humid and raining here. It was great sleeping in my own bed last night, did a face plant shortly after getting home. Woke up at 3am, moving very slowly not wanting to wake Inna, then I couldn't remember if I was in Malta or Istanbul. Worst of all I wasn't sure where the bathroom was. I looked around the room and was totally lost. Thankfully my fog lifted and I realized I was home and new where my bathroom was but no Inna

As for asking the "FIL" to be, any points you have on that I'm interested in. He speaks no English so I'll have to really brush up on my Russian. But not exactly sure how that convo will go

When I was at the airport yesterday waiting for my plane I wrote a summary of the trip for you all. I'll tweak things this weekend and add a few more photos. But for now it's just a direct copy.

--

First night was pretty uneventful other than by the time we got to the room it was after 10pm and then decided to take a walk. We didn't realize it was Ramadan and there was tons and tons of people everywhere. Street festivals, tv shows etc. We walked around and got a couple of pics.

Day 1,  I took her for an extended walk to see some of the main sites and then to the Grand Bizarre. As always things between us just felt natural, nothing forced. We stopped for coffee in the Bizarre and I got a few pics of her wearing my sun glasses. She didn't like them, but I told her she looked like a hot sexy Russian so she said in that case good, keep them. She really seemed to want to make me happy, as I did her.

Day 2,  I took her for a tour of Hagiar Sofia and also the Roman Cisterns. Unfortunately my camera died in Sofia so we had to use hers the rest of the day. We got a few pics but her camera just couldn't handle the dark lighting of the cisterns, so we decided to go back a few days later. Once again we had a great day.

Day 3, We did some more walking around and went back to the Bizarre to find her a belt for her outfit that night. I swear we looked at every belt in the place, twice. Only to go back and eventually buy the 2nd one we looked at. I have an injured foot and all that walking killed me. We went back to hotel and rested for an hour then got dressed for the show. It was actually refreshing to see how she tried to care of me back at the hotel when she saw I had trouble walking. In the evening we went to see the dance show, the 800 year old traditional Whirling Dervishes. Later we found a lovely corner cafe and had coffee. After coffee she suggested walking around the water line if my foot was OK. I told her it was fine (I lied), and we walked for a while. But by the time we got back to hotel I was limping.

Day 4, Took her back to the Cisterns in the morning and then a cruise up the Bosporus. She loved it and we sat close to each other the entire time, always touching. Often she was leaning into me and enjoying me holding her. In fact, the entire trip she was holding my hand or hugging me.

Day 5, I took her to Topkapi Palace, impressive place but killed us both. After several hours we left and found a nice cafe and had a couple of cold Efes. We stopped for a nice meal and it really helped with my foot.

Day 6, we decided to take this day easy, neither of us slept great all week. We took a walk to the Blue Mosque but the line ups were huge and we were both dressed inappropriately and I didn't fancy lining up to wear stuff hundreds of others had worn. Then I took her for a nice walk down by the water. On the way back we went back to a park we discovered on the 2nd day and had tea in a cafe.

OK, day 2 I kinda proposed without even meaning to, then later got myself in trouble trying to explain myself. Basically we were sitting on the roof terrace of the hotel enjoying breakfast and the view. My time in Istanbul was the 2nd week of a two week trip. I had spent the first week in Malta visiting new found family and was on an emotional high. So for the first couple of days I talked about it a lot. We were having breakfast and I said something to the effect of “I want to take you to Malta”. Her English is OK but not great. When she replied I initially mis-understood her. She said “you proposal Malta” or “you proposition Malta” or something like that. So I naturally said “yes”, in my mind  it was clear I propose we take a trip to Malta together. She had a big smile on her face and said “wow, it's soon”, that's when I realized. But it's kinda like unscrambling an egg, simply not possible. Anyway, I tried to recover as best I could. I said “sure, it's a bit soon but where did you think this was ultimately going, first Kiev, now here” and she just smiled. I honestly don't think she took in most of what I said then. We carried on with breakfast and then our day. We headed to Hagiar Sofia and toward the end we stopped for coffee. As we are resting and relaxing I started smiling thinking about the mornings convo and she asked me about it. I told her I was thinking about the morning and said “while I know it was soon, you never answered my question”. She got a big smile and said 'there was no flowers” and we both laughed. So not leaving well enough alone I pushed it and tried to explain it was not my intention to ask her to marry me just then. Well I found the live land mines. She started to get very upset, the more I tried to explain, the worse it became until eventually she put on her sun glasses to hide her tears. I finally got out of her that she now felt stupid and was worried that I might think she wanted something from me. At this point I couldn't do much more damage so I told her the truth. I told her it is my intention to ask her to be my wife but only after meeting her parents and getting her fathers permission. She seemed to respond to this and boom, it wasn't mentioned again and we got along great. Never another problem. In fact I'd joke with her on and off about what country we'd live in when married and she was very receptive to any of the options. Not my finest hour but I was able to smooth things over and we ended up being just fine.

She's a wonderful woman. The easiest way to describe her is “lovely”, in every way shape and form. Our last night was long yet short. We had to get up at 2:45am to get her to airport by 4. If we got two hours sleep I'd be amazed. But she simply wouldn't go to sleep, she was holding me tight, At one point we were watching a movie on my laptop. I was laying back against the head board. She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder. I leaned my head on her head and then she reached up over and started massaging my head. It was lovely, tender and relaxing. Earlier I was laying on the bed doing the online check-in. She laid her head on my thigh and watched tv while I worked. We seem very compatible.

One of the last things I said to her before falling asleep was that I loved her, will be back to Kiev in October, with flowers and wanted to speak to her father. She started joking and said “we'll see” and I told her “no, we will meet your parents” and she's got a great big smile. I told her we have to as I'll bring flowers. She asked what else I'd bring I looked her deep in the eyes and said 'sausages”, she playfully slapped me and laughed her ass off.

[Larry]

I kinda proposed without even meaning to, then later got myself in trouble trying to explain myself... We were having breakfast and I said something to the effect of “I want to take you to Malta”. Her English is OK but not great. When she replied I initially mis-understood her. She said “you proposal Malta” or “you proposition Malta” or something like that. So I naturally said “yes”, in my mind  it was clear I propose we take a trip to Malta together. She had a big smile on her face and said “wow, it's soon”, that's when I realized. But it's kinda like unscrambling an egg, simply not possible. Anyway, I tried to recover as best I could. I said “sure, it's a bit soon but where did you think this was ultimately going, first Kiev, now here” and she just smiled. I honestly don't think she took in most of what I said then. We carried on with breakfast and then our day. We headed to Hagiar Sofia and toward the end we stopped for coffee. As we are resting and relaxing I started smiling thinking about the mornings convo and she asked me about it. I told her I was thinking about the morning and said “while I know it was soon, you never answered my question”. She got a big smile and said 'there was no flowers” and we both laughed. So not leaving well enough alone I pushed it and tried to explain it was not my intention to ask her to marry me just then. Well I found the live land mines. She started to get very upset, the more I tried to explain, the worse it became until eventually she put on her sun glasses to hide her tears.

Many difficulties have been caused by imperfect communication.  It's entirely possible that she did not regard your suggestion of taking her to Malta as being a marriage proposal.  I think when FSUW learn English they learn the definition of the word proposal as a plan that is being presented. So she used this word to characterize your plan of taking her to Malta.  When we hear the word, at least between a guy and girl, we tend to think of marriage proposal. 

It's tricky to try to walk that one back.

But I could easily be wrong about what she was thinking.

[sashathecat]

Sounds like a great trip and similar to one my wife and I took when we were dating. Istanbul is an amazing city to meet a wonderful FSUW.

As for asking the "FIL" to be, any points you have on that I'm interested in. He speaks no English so I'll have to really brush up on my Russian. But not exactly sure how that convo will go

I don't really have any pointers for asking her father tbh. We took my wife's parents out to dinner one night and had a few drinks before I brought it up. He speaks no English and I no Russian so my wife interpreted for us. It basically went something like this.

Sasha "I would like to ask your permission to marry your daughter."
FIL "Why are you asking me?"
FIL "If you are good enough for my daughter, then you are good enough for me."
Sasha  "Ok, thank you"
FIL "Will you have a drink of vodka with me?"

Now, meeting MIL the trip before this and telling her of our plans went a bit differently....

[censu]

Been kinda nuts since I got back and about to give Inna a call, but before I do, here's a few more pics for you.

Now that we've both been back almost 2 weeks and had time to get back into the swing of things I'm happy to report things are great. I'm planning on going to Kiev in Oct assuming it's still safe to travel there at that time

C

[censu]

another batch, all pics have been shrunk for faster upload/download times

[dgifted69]

Great story))) really))) Good luck in your future life))

[Texan77]

It is really nice to see a happy couple. I hope the both of you the best of luck.

[Hammer2722]

Very pretty lady and I love the curly hair. Good luck!!!!

[censu]

Thank you, she's a lovely lady. All my female friends are jealous of her hair.

While it's true her looks initially attracted me, there's so much more to her. Smart, playful, compassionate, considerate, polite, respectful, the list could go on. And yes, she can be a goof ball at times as you can see from this pic.

I'm looking at dates in Oct to go back to Kiev, then again for NY and then take her to my ancestral home in Malta in Feb, where I see myself relocating to, hopefully with her

C

[russiansofantalya]

hi censu just wanted to ask if you have received my private message?

thank you.

[censu]

Sorry been nuts here. Will respond to your PM now.. thanks