Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU > Dating Scams and Suspicious Agencies
The Original "Tablets of Stone"
MBS01:
Follow Up re: Leslied and Manny:
Generally I agree with what you are saying about sending money perhaps only for Internet Connection and Travel arrangements.
My difference would be that there is an important 3rd. for the seriously minded and that of course is language training. For most of this it would be English, but some may be from other locations too. This can be inexpensive and certainly aids in establishing ongoing communications for both parties.
As to timelines I usually wrote WMVO style and waited around 3 or 4 months before flying off to meet. The exception was my wife who I met after about one 1 month's writing. Likewise I disagree with many who seek out only English Speaking ladies. Most I wrote and met had very limited English skills and my Russian remains very basic. Yet I managed to meet my wife of close to 5 years and communicate with her through using a dictionary of English/Russian.
Hint to Newbie's: A good softcover English/Russian dictionary is potentially the best gift you can leave with your new friend and is a great parting gift on that all important first visit.
Olga_Mouse:
--- Quote from: Manny on April 25, 2008, 04:12:49 PM ---
A guy we all know, [who shall remain nameless unless he identifies himself] recently sent some money to a girl to facilitate again an Internet connection, that girl got Skype also, they now speak on webcam every day. He visits her for the first time very soon. My wife had to argue with her on the phone to get her to accept his money for an Internet connection. She did, but it wasnt easy. She didnt want cash from some guy she had never met.
--- End quote ---
Markje? ???
Manny:
--- Quote from: leslied on April 26, 2008, 03:16:57 PM ---The article is dated Manny. Back when it was written Skype was not invented. Maybe one woman in 20 had access to the internet at home or work. We had only recently moved on from snail mail. Internet cafes were the way to go then – hence my amplification on that subject in the article. Nowadays help with setting up Skype etc. falls into the same category. Most women now have a home internet connection and this has done much to level the playing field in my humble opinion.
--- End quote ---
I had overlooked it was first written in 2002 and had not considered changes since then in context. Certainly internet is becoming more common in homes, but as little as 3/4 years ago I seldom encountered a woman in Russia who had it. This is changing fast, now many women in Ukrainian backwaters have a net connection.
The problem with any guy sending money is if his head is screwed on by doing so. He may think he is sensible and thinking straight, as outsiders we may see he is not. I would generally only recommend a guy sends any money if it was his idea, not the womans.
--- Quote from: Leslied --- My personal view is that you should not engage in long correspondence before meeting. It is based on my personal experience. Other people (particularly those who like writing) may have different views. That is fine. My opinion is it is better to get your ass on a plane and go see if the relationship is real.
--- End quote ---
I wholeheartedly agree.
--- Quote from: Leslied ---You recommend that a guy checks out that the woman is real and has a genuine interest. We agree on that. Andrew and Jooky don’t share that opinion. We have had several long discussions on the boards.
--- End quote ---
You and I are married, Andrew and Jooky are not. ;D
--- Quote from: Leslied --- My views have changed over the years. I still think that you should do some basic checking. A gift is a good idea. However going beyond that and getting someone “checked out” by Elena’s models (or another agency’s) “detectives” is going too far. Akin to stalking. If someone is not prepared to be honest with you, simply move on. Scam obsessed people will always fail. Beginning a bicultural relationship is a leap in the dark. You have to be able to trust in order to succeed...
--- End quote ---
I have never had cause to use a detective outfit, I could not visualise a situation [if I were single] where I would need to. I think there is a good use for a service that will do a basic phone check with a woman and save a guy some time.
A guy contacted my wife last week, and gave her three numbers and profile links of women he had encountered on Anastasiaweb [I told him about them but he wouldnt listen].
She called all three women, just to sound them out about him and suss them out generally. One said "I dont really remember the guy, have I seen his photo? When will he come here?" My wife suggested he may like some correspondence prior and maybe a three way call to break the ice. The woman refused a three way and said "I dont always answer my phone, it depends what I am doing, I have many men visiting me, when will he come?" - Pro-dater flushed out at first base.
The second woman she declared as 'brainless, too young and not serious' - The third one seemed OK, quite nice sounding, educated etc, she was very interested in a three way call and getting to know the guy better, so much so he was hooked in for a brief ice breaker straight away. I gather the guy and this woman are now communicating.
The guy, by arranging a little verification, had flushed out a pro-dater and a brainless bimbo at first base, and moved swiftly on to contact with a seemingly more suitable woman. To find this out otherwise may have taken him months and maybe even a pocket draining visit to the first one. In that circumstance, checking the women out paid off.
Chillidog:
I do agree with the checking out the woman, but do not feel you have to go into the expense of paying for some private eye detective, that some dating sites are now pushing but using a flower service (not affliated with the agency you write the woman) is an effective way to do this and on one occasion I did just that, I could not for the life of me tell if the woman was legit or Hairy Yuri, so I used a flower delivery w/photo and found out it was Hairy Yuri. This sending of a gift can be used as a way to show a woman you are serious about her, but also used to 'smoke out' Hairy Yuri if you are having any doubts.
I do not buy into the sending of gifts on a whole, because I think too many men look at it as this sendin gifts will gaurantee a successful first meeting---you cannot buy love! Or look how generous I am/what a great guy I am, when what the woman really wants is to learn of the person to see for herself the mans character and heart.
I also think using an independent translator/interpreter is also a good way of checking out a woman but also a good way of advancing the relationship in a positive way. I have not used this method before, but see good merits in it.
mirror:
--- Quote --- Chillidog
I do agree with the checking out the woman, but do not feel you have to go into the expense of paying for some private eye detective, that some dating sites are now pushing but using a flower service (not affliated with the agency you write the woman) is an effective way to do this and on one occasion I did just that, I could not for the life of me tell if the woman was legit or Hairy Yuri, so I used a flower delivery w/photo and found out it was Hairy Yuri. This sending of a gift can be used as a way to show a woman you are serious about her, but also used to 'smoke out' Hairy Yuri if you are having any doubts.
--- End quote ---
Some RW know your WM habbit to check out by using private eye detective.
I think it is not good idea for a relationship at all.For example I prefer to know everything what a man makes towards me.Why not to ask me personally about your doubts for example?Why to check? I can not understand what a reason to spend money for similar silly thing. Yes,I think it is silly.
And when a man sends me a flower I am not too happy now by knowing this WM's habbit to check out,it doesn't mean he is serious to me.It means he wants to find out ONLY I am a scammer or not! I feel myself not comfortable with it,sorry.
My suggestion is to talk girl,to try to learn by using your own brain,to observe and you will receive all answers. But to watch after her by using private detective,to check out etc. -no no...not good idea.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version