Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU > Ask a Russian Speaking Lady - Спроси у русской леди

Ladies - Why a foreign man?

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We hear 3000 reasons why men look to the FSU, but to the ladies here, why a foreign man?

We hear respect issues, drink issues and 'not serious' issues. Cynics suggest its all about the new country and the money.

Can we hear it direct from you please? Why a foreign man?


--- Quote --- Why a foreign man?
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It is not obvious.
To have a big choice is important.  What I see the most of foreign men speculates with their living abroad position. 


--- Quote from: Manny on March 19, 2008, 03:19:44 PM ---Can we hear it direct from you please? Why a foreign man?
--- End quote ---
It just happened this way. Maybe because I prefer internet communication to real one on initial stages and prefer to talk in english - this way I can  easier express myself and can somehow excuse my writing style  ;D I will not add romantic comments about love and so on but they do matter too  :innocent:
But generally I think that there if only one excuse for marrying someone from far - it's some really strong special feelings to each other. otherwise I don't understand why normal man and woman would cause so serious changes to their lives and be ready to overcome all the difficulties of international marriage.

Oh well... For me personally the main reason is the "double standards policy" that exists in Russia for men and women.

Men are considered being first rate human beings, who are allowed to be self-sufficient.

Women are regarded as second rate creatues, for whom the only way to justify their presence on Earth is to find a husband (= master), serve him well and give him healthy sons.

Example from the real life \ people I know from a city with population of half a million, southern Russia:

- local oligarch, 34 y.o., never married, no kids, short and fat. Educational level: 8 years school. Considered being "завидный жених". Treated by society with respect.

- local lady, 33 y.o., divorced, 10 y.o. son, high position with state \ legislation, bought & renovated 4 bedroom apartment, earning money for herself \ her son \ her mother \ her grandmother; drives a car; goes to aerobic classes twice a week; manicure, pedicure, etc. - looks VERY attractive. University degree. What do people say about her? They pity her!! Because she is DIVORCED!! She did not wish to provide for one more useless eater - and our society blames her for that! "She could not keep her husband, what a bad luck..."

Women are supposed to "hunt" for men here, because our society can not accept an idea that a woman can be self-sufficient, too!

You can also add some statistics proving that at the similar positions women's salary is around 70% of men's salary, and if it goes about top managers \ directors' positions - only 40% from what a man would earn there.

I don't want to be treated as a "second rate". I don't wanna earn less than a proud dick bearer would earn at my position. I wanna live in a society which respects its members for their merits, not for their anatomy.

I also want to live in a warmer place with more sunshine than snow, with a more stable political & economical situation, with foreseeable future.

I want to be with a man who can treat me as an equal partner, with whom we can have equal rights, and share responsibilities for the sake of mutual prosperity.

Why a foreign man?

I am sure you know a lot of stories about the many reasons why some women prefer foreign men to local men and why women prefer to change their country and marry foreign men. Some stories are because of love, some are because of the money or a better lifestyle, and some just because they want to take a free adventure abroad.

For me it was not because he is foreign, not because of his country and it was not important where my partner lived. For me it was not important if he was a local or foreign man. I was happy, very positive and optimistic in Russia and I thought I would be happy abroad also.

Some Russian men, like some foreign men, do want be married, have a strong family, and want to love and be loved. For me, abroad was just an option I considered, not a firm choice. I always felt I would live abroad since I was a teenager. I travelled as a tourist all over Europe; Europe was not unfamiliar for me. The country was not important for me, more important the man.

Fortunately, I am very lucky, I found my man, and his country now is my country. My optimistic view helped me very much with my adaptation, as I am an optimist by nature. My knowledge and education as a Psychologist has helped me very much with my adaptation also.


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