Happy New Year! Checking in with RUA : Dating in NYC in 2024 as a Mid 40s guy

[2tallbill]

Like anything in the matchmaking business, they will lie to you. You've yet to grasp what a dirty business that actually is. You, like most who are convinced by the matchmaking con are doomed for failure. It is set up that way for you to fail. Kind of like big pharma. They sell for customers, not solutions. You believe in fairy tales and unicorns. You are ripe for picking.

Many of us who have went it alone will tell you that is the best way to find a woman interested in you with whom you could return that interest. Hire a man or girl Friday if you need to but, forget the bride shopping idea or you'll likely end up with a big butthurt

Vett*: To examine something or someone carefully to make certain that it is
or they are acceptable or suitable.

Let's say the match makers were you and I, knowing either of us would prefer
to drill into our eardrumbs rather than attempting such a thing.

The absolute best we could do is to make sure the girls were
1. Not escaped convicts or
2. Not born with dicks or
3. Not men or
4. Not currently married
5. We could probably check their arrest records and probably
6. Their current age and if
7. Their photos are somewhat current.

I don't think that it's possible to do much else.

How much vetting beyond that is possible. The actual vetting process is
the job of men who might want to marry them. The girl Matt might be
compatible with would probably drive me nuts. Angel Eyes would probably
kill Matt is his sleep. The girl for Matt is never going to be the girl for Bill

Only Matt can vett* girls he might want to pursue. He has to figure out if
1. They are batschidt cRaZy
2. Good girls
3. Serious
4. Compatible

Nobody but Matt can actually vet* them.




*Vet and Vett are both acceptible spellings

[matador22]

You could do what you describe. Take a trip. Round up some dates with the help
Of an expat. But it ends there. I’m sure the women would be lovely. But it would be like “oh well. That was fun. We met a nice guy from America. Ok byeee”.

The women on this matchmaking agency are most importantly VETTED. There is zero concern about potential relocation. These women have already left Ukraine and living in countries like Germany Poland Spain etc.  so they are open to travel as long as the love match is there. 

Going to Moscow unless you are planning to say for 3 months , 6 months, 1 year is pointless for trying to find a bride.  I mean you guys said it yourself in all the other threads!

Brother, you obviously NEED a lot of help in this type endeavor. I would suggest that you just give up this idea and continue to date the locals. Every long journey begins with the first step and it doesn't appear you have the nuggets to take that step. What you may have done over a decade ago no longer applies.

You have a bride shopping mentality. No matter how much you pay an agency the ladies are not "vetted" for "you". It's nothing more than a list of woman you could potentially meet. You really can do that all by your lonesome little self by simply showing up in either of those countries and meeting people. I understand that method isn't for you. You require some hand holding and your purchase all tied up in a pretty little package. Be careful what you ask for.

Finding a woman that you could love and she love you back takes time, it doesn't matter which country you are in. Whether it is a long trip or many short ones. If you can't invest that time, find yourself another hobby. Those women aren't puppies and the game you've apparently turned this quest of yours into, is for real.

Mate, what is the success rate of people using agencies or a matchmaker versus those going it alone? Can we ever get statistics on that? Until then it’s pointless to discuss This.

Like anything in the matchmaking business, they will lie to you. You've yet to grasp what a dirty business that actually is. You, like most who are convinced by the matchmaking con are doomed for failure. It is set up that way for you to fail. Kind of like big pharma. They sell for customers, not solutions. You believe in fairy tales and unicorns. You are ripe for picking.

Many of us who have went it alone will tell you that is the best way to find a woman interested in you with whom you could return that interest. Hire a man or girl Friday if you need to but, forget the bride shopping idea or you'll likely end up with a big butthurt

Like I said. There is a former member on this board currently in the process. He paid the $9000 fees and is currently going through the selection of profiles.  If you want I can report back 6-9 months from now to this very exact comment and tell you if he was successful.  That’s all I can say. I am not in the matchmaking business so no idea how much fraud is rampant. I do know that nothing that fraudulent stays in business that long.  I mean men are spending thousands of dollars here. There has to be some credibility there. It weeds out the time wasters. What’s the cost of an online dating site membership? Some men don’t even wanna upgrade for that ? 

Sometimes you do get what you pay for.  My two cents. 

[matador22]

Like anything in the matchmaking business, they will lie to you. You've yet to grasp what a dirty business that actually is. You, like most who are convinced by the matchmaking con are doomed for failure. It is set up that way for you to fail. Kind of like big pharma. They sell for customers, not solutions. You believe in fairy tales and unicorns. You are ripe for picking.

Many of us who have went it alone will tell you that is the best way to find a woman interested in you with whom you could return that interest. Hire a man or girl Friday if you need to but, forget the bride shopping idea or you'll likely end up with a big butthurt

Vett*: To examine something or someone carefully to make certain that it is or
they are acceptable or suitable.

Let's say the match makers were you and I, knowing either of us would prefer
to drill into our eardrumbs rather than attempting such a thing.

The absolute best we could do is to make sure the girls were
1. Not escaped convicts or
2. Not born with dicks or
3. Not men or
4. Not currently married
5. We could probably check their arrest records
6. Their actual age
7. Their photos are somewhat current.

I don't think that would do much else.

How much vetting beyond that is possible. The actual vetting process is
the job of men who might want to marry them. The girl Matt might be
compatible with would probably drive me nuts. Angel Eyes would probably
kill Matt is his sleep.

Only Matt can vett* girls he might want to pursue. He has to figure out if
1. They are batschidt cRaZy
2. Good girls
3. Serious
4. Compatible

Nobody but Matt can actually vet* them.




*Vet and Vett are both acceptible spellings

Actually the matchmakers get immediate feedback from both parties immediately after any trip or even every date. They really shadow you throughout the entire process making sure you do not pick the wrong person.  Is it too much hand holding ? Probably for many of you yes. I have never heard of something this hands on.

[2tallbill]

Actually the matchmakers get immediate feedback from both parties immediately after any trip or even every date. They really shadow you throughout the entire process making sure you do not pick the wrong person.  Is it too much hand holding ? Probably for many of you yes. I have never heard of something this hands on.

Grasshopper,

I know a thousand examples reported here and elsewhere where they
all connived together to fleece the American tourist. I am not saying that
is what they are doing, but I can list a dozen examples, especially if the
girl doesn't speak English or you don't speak Russian.

[2tallbill]

I have never heard of something this hands on.

I hired my own guide/translator Stirlitz and another named Pavel during
my first trips. They were paid by me and would look after me and didn't
give a care in the world if the hottest girl in the agency was married off.

They would give me their opinion (I didn't always listen to it).

It is not financially advantageous for agencies to have their hottest girl
missing from action.

My first trip to the FSU with Stirlitz
https://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,16057.msg242406/highlight,odyssey+odessa.html#msg242406

[matador22]

Actually the matchmakers get immediate feedback from both parties immediately after any trip or even every date. They really shadow you throughout the entire process making sure you do not pick the wrong person.  Is it too much hand holding ? Probably for many of you yes. I have never heard of something this hands on.

Grasshopper,

I know a thousand examples reported here and elsewhere where they
all connived together to fleece the American tourist. I am not saying that
is what they are doing, but I can list a dozen examples, especially if the
girl doesn't speak English or you don't speak Russian.

Many of their women speak English. So that Helps. I haven’t pulled out my credit card yet. All depends on how successful my friend is. Also this guy in question I actually met him in person years ago and his then fiancé in Russia when I visited. I trust his opinion.  Ed was there also when I first met him in the USA.

[matador22]

I hate to say it but the MOB INDUSTRY has ruined the image of the decent matchmakers.  If anyone here wants to take my offer I will gladly do this. Send me your Venmo address through PM. I will Venmo you 100 USA dollars so you can do the zoom intro consult with the owners. If you’re skeptical. Then report back here.

Also one of the biggest issues with online dating in 2024 versus 2011 is that back then there were scammers , and flakes, and fake profiles , etc.  but now there are even more. And there is a lot more online dating fatigue.  I don’t know of too many dating sites with extremely well written detailed profiles.  You have to search through pages and pages of inactive ones.

With this agency the women are real and interested. They’re open to relocation as they have already left Ukraine.  In fact I’m at a disadvantage compared to you Brits on this forum.  You guys are a train or car ride away to these ladies where I have to fly over.  Some are settled in Spain for example. 

And by vetting the women we are talking the most detailed profiles I have seen. These guys are thorough. You’re gonna get their entire life story like it’s a biography.  How many dating sites offer that now ?  It’s like two words and a few pics for most sites.

Anyway I am not pulling the trigger for a few months but I cannot think of a more solid way to do this. 

[Guile]

I took a quick look at their site but there are no profiles at all....and no way to sign up and pay to even view them.

How did you see the profiles?  All I saw was the package pricing of $5k to match. Which is beyond ridiculous fee.  You'd have more luck just being a sugar daddy and hooking up with girls than paying them what they want!

[Guile]

Guile : good question about their refugee status. They have a zillion videos on YouTube. They definitely address this.  Based on what I know you about you.  I would highly suggest you do a consultation with them.  It’s about $100. But it’s priceless truly.  And I’m not being paid for this endorsement. I’m sure you all will say that. Haha

I wouldn't spend a buck talking to them...I've lived in Russia 5 times, have enough Russian friends there and here.  I even have some Ukrainian friends.  Easy enough for me to ask them for introductions if I ever wanted to.  Funny thing is women are the same everywhere.  Russian girls are supposed to be "hot" but I've met plenty of plain, normal looking ones. Yes there are some drop dead gorgeous ones and very pretty and in general they have better appearances than say in the west.  And quite alot of them are emotional and moody, moreso than western girls.  Could be the cold weather, the survival instinct, who knows.

So how does that agency's method work?  If the girls are all scattered in different countries you pay them just to introduce them to you?  And then you have to fly to that country just to meet?  If you pick 5 girls all from different places that would be a hell lot more expensive than just going to Moscow for a month...I still don't buy it.

[matador22]

I took a quick look at their site but there are no profiles at all....and no way to sign up and pay to even view them.

How did you see the profiles?  All I saw was the package pricing of $5k to match. Which is beyond ridiculous fee.  You'd have more luck just being a sugar daddy and hooking up with girls than paying them what they want!

This is a service that is very discreet. It’s not a dating site with public profiles. There’s high profile executives and professionals that do not want their info shared publicly.  You can only see their full profiles list only after paying.  My buddy who signed up he sent me some screen shots of the women and they were outstanding. I am convinced they’re real. 

[matador22]

Guile : good question about their refugee status. They have a zillion videos on YouTube. They definitely address this.  Based on what I know you about you.  I would highly suggest you do a consultation with them.  It’s about $100. But it’s priceless truly.  And I’m not being paid for this endorsement. I’m sure you all will say that. Haha

I wouldn't spend a buck talking to them...I've lived in Russia 5 times, have enough Russian friends there and here.  I even have some Ukrainian friends.  Easy enough for me to ask them for introductions if I ever wanted to.  Funny thing is women are the same everywhere.  Russian girls are supposed to be "hot" but I've met plenty of plain, normal looking ones. Yes there are some drop dead gorgeous ones and very pretty and in general they have better appearances than say in the west.  And quite alot of them are emotional and moody, moreso than western girls.  Could be the cold weather, the survival instinct, who knows.

So how does that agency's method work?  If the girls are all scattered in different countries you pay them just to introduce them to you?  And then you have to fly to that country just to meet?  If you pick 5 girls all from different places that would be a hell lot more expensive than just going to Moscow for a month...I still don't buy it.

Yes. That’s exactly how it works. They introduce you to several women.  You do a zoom call until you can meet in person.  They may live in different countries. You may need to take multiple trips over the course of 12-24 months with their guidance and feedback.  But at the end they guarantee you will find a most suitable match.

Like I said I’m just the messenger. Any further questions email them
To Luba and Stryker.  If you need my name I can PM you my info.

[matador22]

Guile : good question about their refugee status. They have a zillion videos on YouTube. They definitely address this.  Based on what I know you about you.  I would highly suggest you do a consultation with them.  It’s about $100. But it’s priceless truly.  And I’m not being paid for this endorsement. I’m sure you all will say that. Haha

I wouldn't spend a buck talking to them...I've lived in Russia 5 times, have enough Russian friends there and here.  I even have some Ukrainian friends.  Easy enough for me to ask them for introductions if I ever wanted to.  Funny thing is women are the same everywhere.  Russian girls are supposed to be "hot" but I've met plenty of plain, normal looking ones. Yes there are some drop dead gorgeous ones and very pretty and in general they have better appearances than say in the west.  And quite alot of them are emotional and moody, moreso than western girls.  Could be the cold weather, the survival instinct, who knows.

So how does that agency's method work?  If the girls are all scattered in different countries you pay them just to introduce them to you?  And then you have to fly to that country just to meet?  If you pick 5 girls all from different places that would be a hell lot more expensive than just going to Moscow for a month...I still don't buy it.

Guile how are you still single ? Ha. I live in nyc and I hardly know one Russian. And the one woman I know has zero interest in hanging out with other Russians. Haha

Maybe I can just pay you for a trip to Moscow and some blind dates.  What’s your rate ? Haha   

[Markje]

There's one HUGE disadvantage to refugee-women living in Europe already.

The locals (as in Europe-native men) will be your competitors and they get to see these women every day.

[Guile]

Guile how are you still single ? Ha. I live in nyc and I hardly know one Russian. And the one woman I know has zero interest in hanging out with other Russians. Haha

Maybe I can just pay you for a trip to Moscow and some blind dates.  What’s your rate ? Haha   

Dude no need to pay lol..If I were still in Moscow I would have gladly shown you around the city and tell my lady friends to come out.  Single by choice...the girls I liked didn't want a relationship and the ones I didn't like did lol... One of them even asked me to marry her but she wasn't the right one.  We are still friends and she has a Russian husband now.

Funny enough the first Russian girl I dated was someone I met in North America and not Russia.  The ones who immigrated here usually have their life set up and come with their husbands.  This girl was just traveling through, she ended up meeting an American and marrying him.

[matador22]

There's one HUGE disadvantage to refugee-women living in Europe already.

The locals (as in Europe-native men) will be your competitors and they get to see these women every day.

100 times yes. Americans Canadians are at a huge disadvantage compared to euro guys. I’m fully aware of all of this. Hence my hesitation. 

[Guile]

Yes. That’s exactly how it works. They introduce you to several women.  You do a zoom call until you can meet in person.  They may live in different countries. You may need to take multiple trips over the course of 12-24 months with their guidance and feedback.  But at the end they guarantee you will find a most suitable match.

I'm sceptical of how they found the women, if they are already able to get out of Ukraine and go to another country.  And as Markje said if they are in a good western European country wouldn't they first look at the single men there rather than some guy who's across the ocean?

I just am not willing to pay that much to learn if I already have the means to find a girl on my own.

[Guile]

Surely there must be a few Russian girls in NYC!?!  Or Russian Jewish... I met one such girl here, she immigrated first to Israel then Canada. Spoke native English but was telling me stories of how it was as a child back in Russia.

[matador22]

Guile how are you still single ? Ha. I live in nyc and I hardly know one Russian. And the one woman I know has zero interest in hanging out with other Russians. Haha

Maybe I can just pay you for a trip to Moscow and some blind dates.  What’s your rate ? Haha   

Dude no need to pay lol..If I were still in Moscow I would have gladly shown you around the city and tell my lady friends to come out.  Single by choice...the girls I liked didn't want a relationship and the ones I didn't like did lol... One of them even asked me to marry her but she wasn't the right one.  We are still friends and she has a Russian husband now.

Funny enough the first Russian girl I dated was someone I met in North America and not Russia.  The ones who immigrated here usually have their life set up and come with their husbands.  This girl was just traveling through, she ended up meeting an American and marrying him.

I can totally relate your dilemma.  In my own dating life it only works if both people pursue the other with equal intensity.  Basically what they call a genuine match.  But if it’s 60/40 then yeah.  It’s better to keep trying.

[matador22]

Surely there must be a few Russian girls in NYC!?!  Or Russian Jewish... I met one such girl here, she immigrated first to Israel then Canada. Spoke native English but was telling me stories of how it was as a child back in Russia.

There are and if you looked at my post history you would see that from 2011 to 2021 I did not visit this forum. I went on many many dates with local Eastern European women.  The issue is at is basically every where in modern western cities is that you really have to compromise on looks and age in nyc. Unless you make millions. And I mean this very seriously you will not get the same level
Of beauty and youth you get in Moscow or Kiev.  You will However get a chance to build chemistry over a longer more relaxed period of time because you both live and work in the same city.  This is the trade off. 

[matador22]

Yes. That’s exactly how it works. They introduce you to several women.  You do a zoom call until you can meet in person.  They may live in different countries. You may need to take multiple trips over the course of 12-24 months with their guidance and feedback.  But at the end they guarantee you will find a most suitable match.

I'm sceptical of how they found the women, if they are already able to get out of Ukraine and go to another country.  And as Markje said if they are in a good western European country wouldn't they first look at the single men there rather than some guy who's across the ocean?

I just am not willing to pay that much to learn if I already have the means to find a girl on my own.

Guile mate you’re a smart man!  I asked the very same question.  Here is your answer straight from the horse’s mouth :

They do and many have found men in those countries.  Stryker even talks about it as we're at a disadvantage (Europe dudes are a car ride away, we need a plane)

But, several million war refugees are in Europe and after two years they are just settling in, so relying on a matchmaker on there side sometimes makes it easier as we're vetted

[Guile]

So you're saying that in NYC the woman you can date will be in general less attractive and young unless you are super rich, good looking or both. That I would agree with.

In Russia if the woman is under 35 she will tend to be more "attractive" and appealing compared with a western woman.  But they do age much quicker after 40.  Ask to see photos of their moms to get an idea of what they will look like later.

I'm sure that agency has found a niche and with the rates they are charging there is a small market they cater to. 

[matador22]

So you're saying that in NYC the woman you can date will be in general less attractive and young unless you are super rich, good looking or both. That I would agree with.

In Russia if the woman is under 35 she will tend to be more "attractive" and appealing compared with a western woman.  But they do age much quicker after 40.  Ask to see photos of their moms to get an idea of what they will look like later.

I'm sure that agency has found a niche and with the rates they are charging there is a small market they cater to.

I used a matchmaker in nyc for years. Until the pandemic happened her rates were 200-300 USA dollars per match. I used her once a quarter (every 3 months on average).  After several years I once asked her "why is it so hard to meet someone good in nyc ?"  Her answer :

1) New Yorkers are THE PICKIEST people on the planet. They scrutinize every single detail.  Watch the tv show Seinfeld for proof.

2) New York City has more millionaire and billionaires per capita than any other city including those in the Middle East.  The 9s the 10s in nyc will only date extremely wealthy men. And by that I mean a minimum net worth of 100 million.  10-20 million is not even in the ballpark. I have a friend worth 5-10 million and his wife works as a lawyer. Not glamorous at all.

3) the other type of guy who dates the 9s 10s are the extremely physically good looking. They are never the millionaires. They are the physical trainers and the male models of the city. Operative word is DATE.  The savvy good looking women will drop the physical trainer and date the millionaire as she gets closer
To 35. 

My ex was from Soviet Georgia above average looking. She was a  medical Doctor.  She was 5 feet 4 inches. She had style. She had charm.

But she did not look like some of the best looking women I saw on Russian dating sites or Russian tinder.

This is what I know after 19 years in the New York City area.

[2tallbill]

There's one HUGE disadvantage to refugee-women living in Europe already.

The locals (as in Europe-native men) will be your competitors and they get to see these women every day.

Back in the very old days. I chatted with a 6ft tall Russian girl who lived in
Italy. She was very keen on meeting me. I really liked the idea of traveling
to Italy rather than the FSU, I could mostly understand the language, I had
been there several times. In the end I traveled to the FSU instead.

[Bodine]

I used a matchmaker in nyc for years. Until the pandemic happened her rates were 200-300 USA dollars per match. I used her once a quarter (every 3 months on average).  After several years I once asked her "why is it so hard to meet someone good in nyc ?"  Her answer :

1) New Yorkers are THE PICKIEST people on the planet. They scrutinize every single detail.  Watch the tv show Seinfeld for proof.

2) New York City has more millionaire and billionaires per capita than any other city including those in the Middle East.  The 9s the 10s in nyc will only date extremely wealthy men. And by that I mean a minimum net worth of 100 million.  10-20 million is not even in the ballpark. I have a friend worth 5-10 million and his wife works as a lawyer. Not glamorous at all.

3) the other type of guy who dates the 9s 10s are the extremely physically good looking. They are never the millionaires. They are the physical trainers and the male models of the city. Operative word is DATE.  The savvy good looking women will drop the physical trainer and date the millionaire as she gets closer
To 35. 

My ex was from Soviet Georgia above average looking. She was a  medical Doctor.  She was 5 feet 4 inches. She had style. She had charm.

But she did not look like some of the best looking women I saw on Russian dating sites or Russian tinder.

This is what I know after 19 years in the New York City area.

So for years, your $200-$300/match service only got you to match up with 'average' looking women since I presume you're not a millionaire and/or a badboy, yes?

I imagine you could've mosey'd on down to Kansas or Tennessee and kick it with some fine country gal or some hot farmer's daughter and you'd still have enough left for a couple shots and a chaser.

Moscow is not a big deal. Women are women. If you can't get them wetter than a washed towel here, you're not going to get them wet over there regardless what you're matchmaker will make you believe.

[matador22]

I used a matchmaker in nyc for years. Until the pandemic happened her rates were 200-300 USA dollars per match. I used her once a quarter (every 3 months on average).  After several years I once asked her "why is it so hard to meet someone good in nyc ?"  Her answer :

1) New Yorkers are THE PICKIEST people on the planet. They scrutinize every single detail.  Watch the tv show Seinfeld for proof.

2) New York City has more millionaire and billionaires per capita than any other city including those in the Middle East.  The 9s the 10s in nyc will only date extremely wealthy men. And by that I mean a minimum net worth of 100 million.  10-20 million is not even in the ballpark. I have a friend worth 5-10 million and his wife works as a lawyer. Not glamorous at all.

3) the other type of guy who dates the 9s 10s are the extremely physically good looking. They are never the millionaires. They are the physical trainers and the male models of the city. Operative word is DATE.  The savvy good looking women will drop the physical trainer and date the millionaire as she gets closer
To 35. 

My ex was from Soviet Georgia above average looking. She was a  medical Doctor.  She was 5 feet 4 inches. She had style. She had charm.

But she did not look like some of the best looking women I saw on Russian dating sites or Russian tinder.

This is what I know after 19 years in the New York City area.

So for years, your $200-$300/match service only got you to match up with 'average' looking women since I presume you're not a millionaire and/or a badboy, yes?

I imagine you could've mosey'd on down to Kansas or Tennessee and kick it with some fine country gal or some hot farmer's daughter and you'd still have enough left for a couple shots and a chaser.

Moscow is not a big deal. Women are women. If you can't get them wetter than a washed towel here, you're not going to get them wet over there regardless what you're matchmaker will make you believe.

That’s what my dad says.  In the end you will get what you deserve. And if you get more than what you deserve you will you eventually lose it. Or in other words she will eventually leave you ! Hahah