Welcome! > New Member Introductions
Happy New Year! Checking in with RUA : Dating in NYC in 2024 as a Mid 40s guy
matador22:
Hi there fellow board members! Happy New Year! haha. Well i had to check in. This board always has great advice. So last time I checked in I was told by many that seeking a bride or life partners in the FSU is much more difficult than ever and now actually requires that you live in Eastern europe for a significant amount of time. I assume that's even more true now and may not even be possible with the ongoing conflict.
Here is what's going on in New york city, USA. If you're in your 20s-30s then yes the apps still exist and are used often but I continuously hear that all the old trends are even worse now. Basically something like less than 2% of the men seem to get more than 90% of the female matches. The stereotype of the 6 feet plus tall man with a very high salary, under 40, and lives in the center of the city getting all the best matches is true. It's just very very hard. Now I have quite a few things going for me. I am tall (6'2") and have a small business based in New jersey. I have a nice apartment but it's in Jersey city instead of fancy manhattan. And I am not white. Also I am 47 (1977).
What i noticed that is the younger women say under 40 are harder to match with. The few I do match with are ambivalent about having children or they are too old. A friend of mine got so fed up in Toronto that he moved to Argentina. He said almost immediately his dating life improved. However he is not seeking marriage and children. I am seeking marriage and kids and hopefully before I turn 50 which is right around the corner.
Anyway should an american man my age even bother seeking love in eastern europe. I don't even know which dating site works these days. I signed up for eurocupid.com. And i know of a former member of this board who is currently on a train to Kiev! he is in his 50s and still thinks its a great opportunity.
I just do not know what to do! I feel disillusioned. But at the same time I have to continue trying locally. I am working on losing weight and growing my business. I look young. I have a full head of hair. And I have never been married and no children.
Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated! Best of luck to all out there! Thanks again!
2tallbill:
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 16, 2024, 08:21:07 PM ---Hi there fellow board members! Happy New Year! haha. Well i had to check in. This board always has great advice.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: matador22 on November 12, 2009, 10:56:57 PM ---I have known Ed now for almost 3 years and worked with him for several months at a time-no trips just emailing. ....I do feel like I want to go to Russia with each passing day....
--- End quote ---
Warning for newbies, tough love below. If you tend to suck your thumb and/or
cry into your pillow skip the advice below and read the post after mine.
This pursuit isn't for everyone. In 2009 Matador had been a Keyboard Romeo for
3 years unable to take the plunge. 2006 to 2024 is 18 years, he has jumped the
shark.
This pursuit is very difficult for the resolute but impossible for the indecisive. He needs
to leave the poor girls alone.
Matador, figure out how to get a visa and how to travel to Russia, buy the tickets then
I will treat you seriously and will give you tons of advice (as will everyone here).
Right now you are talking like a rich man who plans to become so by winning the lottery
(once he saves up for the ticket). I have nothing against a man who dreams, but the
chronic, repetitive procrastination is too much. You have to accept that you will never
act on your fanciful dream.
Russian women want a man of action.
I wish you success doing whatever you do, but this is not for you.
matador22:
--- Quote from: 2tallbill on January 17, 2024, 08:45:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 16, 2024, 08:21:07 PM ---Hi there fellow board members! Happy New Year! haha. Well i had to check in. This board always has great advice.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: matador22 on November 12, 2009, 10:56:57 PM ---I have known Ed now for almost 3 years and worked with him for several months at a time-no trips just emailing. ....I do feel like I want to go to Russia with each passing day....
--- End quote ---
Warning for newbies, tough love below. If you tend to suck your thumb and/or
cry into your pillow skip the advice below and read the post after mine.
This pursuit isn't for everyone. In 2009 Matador had been a Keyboard Romeo for
3 years unable to take the plunge. 2006 to 2024 is 18 years, he has jumped the
shark.
This pursuit is very difficult for the resolute but impossible for the indecisive. He needs
to leave the poor girls alone.
Matador, figure out how to get a visa and how to travel to Russia, buy the tickets then
I will treat you seriously and will give you tons of advice (as will everyone here).
Right now you are talking like a rich man who plans to become so by winning the lottery
(once he saves up for the ticket). I have nothing against a man who dreams, but the
chronic, repetitive procrastination is too much. You have to accept that you will never
act on your fanciful dream.
Russian women want a man of action.
I wish you success doing whatever you do, but this is not for you.
--- End quote ---
@2tallbill : I understand but to be fair I DID visit a woman in Moscow in 2011. It's in my original thread from years ago. It was not a very long trip. I went on a vacation with my parents (that's all in the thread) but I did visit a woman in Moscow and we spent like 2 weeks together at her place. So i did the whole visa thing and flying to Russia part.
I was asking more about talking to women on the dating sites and then going to visit them but during the vacation season. It would not be a long term visit. Anyway I understand your point. It's a bit too difficult. thanks for replying.
2tallbill:
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 17, 2024, 09:15:56 AM ---
@2tallbill : I understand but to be fair I DID visit a woman in Moscow in 2011. It's in my original thread from years ago. It was not a very long trip. I went on a vacation with my parents (that's all in the thread) but I did visit a woman in Moscow and we spent like 2 weeks together at her place. So i did the whole visa thing and flying to Russia part.
I was asking more about talking to women on the dating sites and then going to visit them but during the vacation season. It would not be a long term visit. Anyway I understand your point. It's a bit too difficult. thanks for replying.
--- End quote ---
I did not read all your posts (314) so I stand corrected. (At least 300 of them were about being indecisive and wishy washy*)
It's more difficult to get a Visa to Russia. I went there to see my Grand daughter aka
Shorty Pants, she looked a bit like Tweety Bird (big head short legs) September of 2022.
It's more difficult to travel to Russia. I flew to Turkey then to Moscow.
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 17, 2024, 10:40:00 AM ---I just signed up for bridesandlovers.com. Gonna see what all the fuss is about :) Definitely seems more real than others already. So you're the owner?
--- End quote ---
How is your Russian?
Connecting with Steveboy, I approve. He can help you. Hopefully he doesn't let you
waste a hours & hours of his time.
*I stole wishy washy from ECR.
matador22:
--- Quote from: 2tallbill on January 17, 2024, 11:16:40 AM ---
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 17, 2024, 09:15:56 AM ---
@2tallbill : I understand but to be fair I DID visit a woman in Moscow in 2011. It's in my original thread from years ago. It was not a very long trip. I went on a vacation with my parents (that's all in the thread) but I did visit a woman in Moscow and we spent like 2 weeks together at her place. So i did the whole visa thing and flying to Russia part.
I was asking more about talking to women on the dating sites and then going to visit them but during the vacation season. It would not be a long term visit. Anyway I understand your point. It's a bit too difficult. thanks for replying.
--- End quote ---
I did not read all your posts (314) so I stand corrected. (At least 300 of them were about being indecisive and wishy washy*)
It's more difficult to get a Visa to Russia. I went there to see my Grand daughter aka
Shorty Pants, she looked a bit like Tweety Bird (big head short legs) September of 2022.
It's more difficult to travel to Russia. I flew to Turkey then to Moscow.
--- Quote from: matador22 on January 17, 2024, 10:40:00 AM ---I just signed up for bridesandlovers.com. Gonna see what all the fuss is about :) Definitely seems more real than others already. So you're the owner?
--- End quote ---
How is your Russian?
Connecting with Steveboy, I approve. He can help you. Hopefully he doesn't let you
waste a hours & hours of his time.
*I stole wishy washy from ECR.
--- End quote ---
No worries mate! I brought this upon myself. I do admit I was on the fence for years but going to Russia in 2011 was an incredible experience. My only takeaway really is that it requires multiple trips, time, and yes money. And as you mentioned it is not for the faint hearted. Here's why this time around its a little different at least on my end. I am much older and more experienced. I dated plenty in the USA. In fact why i gave up the russia pursuit in 2011 after my trip was because my dating life in NYC picked up considerably. Fast forward to 2020s and I realize that finding a marriage minded american woman who would want a family is daunting in america. I am not saying that it is impossible-it is not as I have friends who have. But it does mean compromise on certain things like age and physical attractiveness. I am aware compromise is also required with russian dating and maybe on more levels than I understand now.
As for my russian no I do not speak any. I always used Ed in the past and the woman I met in Moscow, Anya, spoke fluent English. Once again another challenge I have to keep in mind.
There really is no more advice needed. I just wanted a good website to start with. So far Steve's website, Brides and Lovers, is pretty good. I already got a few interest messages. I am concerned about being an american going into russia/ukraine right now. But I am open to going on vacation to eastern europe this year and once I decide which city I will start looking into the dating profiles i can find in that city. Whats the harm in messaging them now? Thanks again! and will peruse more of the threads here!
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