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Author Topic: I considered going to Moscow this week  (Read 1489 times)

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Offline martincop

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I considered going to Moscow this week
« on: July 14, 2022, 09:39:12 PM »
I have a visa. I have a relationship issue that needs to be resolved in person. Yes yes, thinking with the wrong head. And both heads are in the clouds.

I saw that an American boxer went to Moscow and had a bout after the invasion. That Russian Americans were still going back to Russia to visit family. I couldn't find a single youtube video of any American standing in Moscow or Russia - because no one was that stupid or reckless. I'll probably stick out.

What could happen? Maybe I'll get flagged at immigration. Maybe I'll get searched and held under some creative and made up charges. Maybe nothing as Moscow still has many foreigners coming. I suppose lots of Chinese.

My plan, hire a guide, and give her all my family contacts and my schedule. She gave me a site to book hotels and apartments. Meet up with my girl, resolve issues, makeup, go quietly home after 5 days.

My only real concern was that I had an important meeting in 4 weeks that needed me to attend if I were to be held in Moscow. All my bill are on auto draft. I can wait for Biden to rescue me.

Well we're meeting in Istanbul instead now so that ends that quandary. I probably would have gone.

Offline mitspilot

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2022, 11:09:30 PM »
I’m leaving next week to visit my girlfriend in Moscow for a month. I am optimistic and hopeful that I won’t have any issues.

Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2022, 12:08:55 AM »
Please report back!


Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2022, 12:13:52 AM »
so this begs the question. How will K-1's be processed for Russian citizens during this time?

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2022, 04:31:35 AM »
Looking forward to reading about you both on the news!! You might get lucky and share a cell.  :chuckle:

Online andrewfi

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2022, 05:39:16 AM »
List of things that make no sense:
1) treating a profile as a real person.
2) thinking that one has a relationship with a person one has not yet met.
3) falling out with an imaginary person.
4) getting on a plane to sort out a relationship that does not exist.
5) flying to a country with which one's own country has effectively broken all diplomatic and practical relationships.

You have a plan with so many failure points that it hardly seems like a plan at all.

Ah, just saw you are planning to meet in Turkey now. That is a more sensible idea, but still...
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2022, 07:35:38 AM »
I've met her twice already. Last six months talked to her every day twice a day. But I do agree with you - stupid/reckless to consider going.

List of things that make no sense:
1) treating a profile as a real person.
2) thinking that one has a relationship with a person one has not yet met.
3) falling out with an imaginary person.
4) getting on a plane to sort out a relationship that does not exist.
5) flying to a country with which one's own country has effectively broken all diplomatic and practical relationships.

You have a plan with so many failure points that it hardly seems like a plan at all.

Ah, just saw you are planning to meet in Turkey now. That is a more sensible idea, but still...

Offline AJ

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2022, 07:50:18 AM »
It's not really clear where you are going, first it was moscow, for 5 days,then it changed to  Istanbul, then it seems it is Moscow again for one month?


Its your relationship and your risks,
But to me if she and yourself  cant communicate well enough to resolve random issues during such a poor travel time over the phone,text,enail and video ,then it's hardly worth saving*.
Communication and trust is any relationships foundation.
What do you have?


Physicians and psychiatrists have been doing successful video therapy and consultations on real physical and mental health issues ,to the general public for two years or longer and you guys cant get over  and talk out a lovers spat?


You seemed  extremely anxious to get a hold of Manny in a matter of hours.It just seems poor judgement that you already acknowledge.

Istanbul I could see
but absolutely not in some,* i have to get there immediately* panic mode.

If it takes instant action of jumping through unreasonable hoops to save a troubled relationship  ,it just seems the biggest risk you are taking isnt flying to Russia .


Online andrewfi

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2022, 08:01:35 AM »
The world is full of women who you should be proud to have in your life.

Chasing around some bit of foreign strange does absolutely nothing good for you. If you play along with such silliness there is one thing of which you can be sure - unhappiness for as long as she puts up with you or you put up with her.

Go find a proper woman, one whose culture and language you share and get some control of your emotional responses.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2022, 08:09:49 AM »
The world is full of women who you should be proud to have in your life.

Chasing around some bit of foreign strange does absolutely nothing good for you. If you play along with such silliness there is one thing of which you can be sure - unhappiness for as long as she puts up with you or you put up with her.

Go find a proper woman, one whose culture and language you share and get some control of your emotional responses.


Bingo!
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Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2022, 08:10:42 AM »
I am in Istanbul now. I considered going to Moscow because there are direct flights there and because the woman I have been talking to for the past half year has some issues related to time and cannot leave the country for an extended time but Moscow is more viable. Now it seems she can meet me in Istanbul.

Mitspiliot is going next week for a month.

I need to talk to Manny because he has some important information.

Women are just plain complicated. And Russian women take complicated to another level. Of course, it makes no sense when we can have a simple video call but some things you actually want to do in person. Russian women and drama go hand in hand.

Maybe she wants to tell me she knows I've been talking to other women. Maybe she wants to tell me she's pregnant. Maybe she wants to tell me we don't have a chance. I don't know but she says we have to meet in person for this conversation and the past 2 weeks have been really out of character for her. So I want to know too.


It's not really clear where you are going, first it was moscow, for 5 days,then it changed to  Istanbul, then it seems it is Moscow again for one month?


Its your relationship and your risks,
But to me if she and yourself  cant communicate well enough to resolve random issues during such a poor travel time over the phone,text,enail and video ,then it's hardly worth saving*.
Communication and trust is any relationships foundation.
What do you have?


Physicians and psychiatrists have been doing successful video therapy and consultations on real physical and mental health issues ,to the general public for two years or longer and you guys cant get over  and talk out a lovers spat?


You seemed  extremely anxious to get a hold of Manny in a matter of hours.It just seems poor judgement that you already acknowledge.

Istanbul I could see
but absolutely not in some,* i have to get there immediately* panic mode.

If it takes instant action of jumping through unreasonable hoops to save a troubled relationship  ,it just seems the biggest risk you are taking isnt flying to Russia .

Offline AJ

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2022, 08:38:02 AM »
I am in Istanbul now. I considered going to Moscow because there are direct flights there and because the woman I have been talking to for the past half year has some issues related to time and cannot leave the country for an extended time but Moscow is more viable. Now it seems she can meet me in Istanbul.

Mitspiliot is going next week for a month.

I need to talk to Manny because he has some important information.

Women are just plain complicated. And Russian women take complicated to another level. Of course, it makes no sense when we can have a simple video call but some things you actually want to do in person. Russian women and drama go hand in hand.

Maybe she wants to tell me she knows I've been talking to other women. Maybe she wants to tell me she's pregnant. Maybe she wants to tell me we don't have a chance. I don't know but she says we have to meet in person for this conversation and the past 2 weeks have been really out of character for her. So I want to know too.


It's not really clear where you are going, first it was moscow, for 5 days,then it changed to  Istanbul, then it seems it is Moscow again for one month?


Its your relationship and your risks,
But to me if she and yourself  cant communicate well enough to resolve random issues during such a poor travel time over the phone,text,enail and video ,then it's hardly worth saving*.
Communication and trust is any relationships foundation.
What do you have?


Physicians and psychiatrists have been doing successful video therapy and consultations on real physical and mental health issues ,to the general public for two years or longer and you guys cant get over  and talk out a lovers spat?


You seemed  extremely anxious to get a hold of Manny in a matter of hours.It just seems poor judgement that you already acknowledge.

Istanbul I could see
but absolutely not in some,* i have to get there immediately* panic mode.

If it takes instant action of jumping through unreasonable hoops to save a troubled relationship  ,it just seems the biggest risk you are taking isnt flying to Russia .

Ok.Makes it more clear.

You understand its your relationship and we only see a small bit of it from outside,and that's all we can base advice on.

I did not catch it was another poster going to moscow for a month.

As far as rw are this way,or rw are that way .
I strongly disagree.
They are as different as individuals as the rest of the world.
If I somehow did feel they were all more drama, I wouldn't use that as excuse for that immature behavior or personality type,I'd use that information to  avoid the associated nationalities in general.
🤣


I do agree there are stereotypes of example latinas etc.
cant say I've seen a stereotype play out directly in one on one relationships,but I suppose it has occured, but why let it?


Patience in both sides of a cross cultural.relationship is needed and a big value.

You have far more patience  than i would have facing someone who seems to lack such and is basically demanding a given action.
She's squarly in the drivers seat,  and seems the  decisions like this  should be equally rationalized

 If you had equal demands, my guess is they wouldnt be met.

You know her and your relationship dynamic,  we dont.

But I'd think very carefully before jumping thru that hoop you already leaped thru like a trained pup.
Sit ,stay good boy!
, is not a life with an equal partner,and outside looking in is the only dynamic thats visable to us.

I do realize you are emotionally invested, we aren't.
And that you may simply have the time and want see what she has to say *in person*

I sure hope she at least alluded to the topic,and its seriousness.


Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2022, 09:22:13 AM »
AJ, two things. I strongly disagree that you disagree.

And I strongly agree with your assertion that she would not give me the same latitude I give her- but it goes back to my first supposition - RW are drama squared.

I think many that have dated Ukrainian and Russian women will understand they take the drama up 10 levels. It is both simple and complicated. It has to do with their society, their expectations, how their men treat them and their reactions to their past relationships. There are nuances that Western men do and expect to do in a relationship that won't work or won't work as well with them.

It is like this. We really don't understand their idea of beauty in the big augmented lips. it is ugly and hideous but many women like this look. They get plastic surgery for this look. Their young girls mimic it in Instagram pictures, they make their lipstick to mimic that look.

My girl on most levels acts like a Californian girl. Careful and a little hippie but when we argue she won't talk things out. We are trained to talk things out. Dissect it. She won't hear me give my arguments. She closes up. I think it is a little immaturity too but I've seen other Russian women do the same. Once they get their mind on something. You cannot convince them if you have diagrams and pie charts or explainer videos.   

I'm emotionally invested in this woman. She doesn't ask me for money. She earns her own money. She is interested in my life and shares her life openly. She is independent and usually open minded. And she's an amazing kisser. I am sprung.

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2022, 09:22:28 AM »
This is not going to end well.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2022, 09:25:26 AM »
This is not going to end well.

Probably not but that is why you have plan B, C and D.

But I really like plan A.

Offline Danchik

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2022, 10:00:41 AM »
It's ok to come to Russia.

About the women, well, don't let anyone tell you they're the same as western women. Yes, in some respects, but no.

Here's a little saying about RW that may help:

Русские девушки как мороженое (Russian girls are like ice cream)
Сначала они холодна, (first they're cold)
потом тает, (then they melt)
и наконец прилипает к тебе (and then they stick to you)

There's a lot of truth to it.

The second sentence is what throws many western guys off. Good luck.
When it is dark enough, men see the stars.

Offline Contrarian

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2022, 11:31:12 AM »
It's not really clear where you are going, first it was moscow, for 5 days,then it changed to  Istanbul, then it seems it is Moscow again for one month?


Its your relationship and your risks,
But to me if she and yourself  cant communicate well enough to resolve random issues during such a poor travel time over the phone,text,enail and video ,then it's hardly worth saving*.
Communication and trust is any relationships foundation.
What do you have?


Physicians and psychiatrists have been doing successful video therapy and consultations on real physical and mental health issues ,to the general public for two years or longer and you guys cant get over  and talk out a lovers spat?


You seemed  extremely anxious to get a hold of Manny in a matter of hours.It just seems poor judgement that you already acknowledge.

Istanbul I could see
but absolutely not in some,* i have to get there immediately* panic mode.

If it takes instant action of jumping through unreasonable hoops to save a troubled relationship  ,it just seems the biggest risk you are taking isnt flying to Russia .


 :thumbsup:

Offline Contrarian

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2022, 11:35:18 AM »
I am in Istanbul now. I considered going to Moscow because there are direct flights there and because the woman I have been talking to for the past half year has some issues related to time and cannot leave the country for an extended time but Moscow is more viable. Now it seems she can meet me in Istanbul.

Mitspiliot is going next week for a month.

I need to talk to Manny because he has some important information.

Women are just plain complicated. And Russian women take complicated to another level. Of course, it makes no sense when we can have a simple video call but some things you actually want to do in person. Russian women and drama go hand in hand.

Maybe she wants to tell me she knows I've been talking to other women. Maybe she wants to tell me she's pregnant. Maybe she wants to tell me we don't have a chance. I don't know but she says we have to meet in person for this conversation and the past 2 weeks have been really out of character for her. So I want to know too.


So in the bolded part you acknowledge you're an exceptionally poor communicator in the English language and it is your first language?

You are wasting both your time and money and you're wasting her time. Sheesh no wonder Americans get criticized on the anti-date platforms.  :sick0012:

Offline Jonas!

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #18 on: July 15, 2022, 11:41:00 AM »
This is not going to end well.

Probably not but that is why you have plan B, C and D.

But I really like plan A.
I agree with you going for whatever that is worth. 

It is a good idea to get some resolution one way or another.   Plus, it seems you are completely infatuated with the lady.  When I found myself in that position, I got my ass on a plan within a couple weeks, and it has been working out ok, 14 years later.    Who knows what she will reveal to you...but meeting in person is worth a year of online jabbering...probably more.   
Good luck
Jonas! 

Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #19 on: July 15, 2022, 11:48:13 AM »
I am in Istanbul now. I considered going to Moscow because there are direct flights there and because the woman I have been talking to for the past half year has some issues related to time and cannot leave the country for an extended time but Moscow is more viable. Now it seems she can meet me in Istanbul.

Mitspiliot is going next week for a month.

I need to talk to Manny because he has some important information.

Women are just plain complicated. And Russian women take complicated to another level. Of course, it makes no sense when we can have a simple video call but some things you actually want to do in person. Russian women and drama go hand in hand.

Maybe she wants to tell me she knows I've been talking to other women. Maybe she wants to tell me she's pregnant. Maybe she wants to tell me we don't have a chance. I don't know but she says we have to meet in person for this conversation and the past 2 weeks have been really out of character for her. So I want to know too.


So in the bolded part you acknowledge you're an exceptionally poor communicator in the English language and it is your first language?

You are wasting both your time and money and you're wasting her time. Sheesh no wonder Americans get criticized on the anti-date platforms.  :sick0012:

My friend I think you proved that all by yourself.

Slow people version. I wrote I considered going in the original post. Reply posting by someone else saying they were going for sure next week. Someone didn't read there were two different posters and was confused whether I was staying Istanbul or going to Moscow. I clarified who was going to Moscow next week.

Now we have you. And by the way, English is my second language and Americans do deserve most bashings they get on international relations.

Offline Contrarian

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #20 on: July 15, 2022, 02:15:03 PM »
I am in Istanbul now. I considered going to Moscow because there are direct flights there and because the woman I have been talking to for the past half year has some issues related to time and cannot leave the country for an extended time but Moscow is more viable. Now it seems she can meet me in Istanbul.

Mitspiliot is going next week for a month.

I need to talk to Manny because he has some important information.

Women are just plain complicated. And Russian women take complicated to another level. Of course, it makes no sense when we can have a simple video call but some things you actually want to do in person. Russian women and drama go hand in hand.

Maybe she wants to tell me she knows I've been talking to other women. Maybe she wants to tell me she's pregnant. Maybe she wants to tell me we don't have a chance. I don't know but she says we have to meet in person for this conversation and the past 2 weeks have been really out of character for her. So I want to know too.


So in the bolded part you acknowledge you're an exceptionally poor communicator in the English language and it is your first language?

You are wasting both your time and money and you're wasting her time. Sheesh no wonder Americans get criticized on the anti-date platforms.  :sick0012:

My friend I think you proved that all by yourself.

Slow people version. I wrote I considered going in the original post. Reply posting by someone else saying they were going for sure next week. Someone didn't read there were two different posters and was confused whether I was staying Istanbul or going to Moscow. I clarified who was going to Moscow next week.

Now we have you. And by the way, English is my second language and Americans do deserve most bashings they get on international relations.


                                                   :trainwreck:         :ROFL:     :ROFL:      :ROFL:

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2022, 03:15:39 PM »
Martin, Is Nederlands je eerste taal?

In any event your first post on this thread contemplated going to Moscow. If you have changed plans no problem. Though I would try to figure your self out before starting a cross cultural relationship.

Just my opinion.

“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #22 on: July 15, 2022, 03:49:31 PM »
I wrote on I considered going.

This is the last sentence of that original post:

"Well we're meeting in Istanbul instead now so that ends that quandary. I probably would have gone."

Wow there are some real geniuses in here who love to criticize when they can't read or comprehend.

Perhaps you read the entire post before you make disparaging remarks eh?

Just my opinion.

Martin, Is Nederlands je eerste taal?

In any event your first post on this thread contemplated going to Moscow. If you have changed plans no problem. Though I would try to figure your self out before starting a cross cultural relationship.

Just my opinion.



Offline martincop

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #23 on: July 15, 2022, 03:53:09 PM »
Sorry dude. Your post wasn't that bad.

I do know some Dutch, Russian and German.

Martin, Is Nederlands je eerste taal?

In any event your first post on this thread contemplated going to Moscow. If you have changed plans no problem. Though I would try to figure your self out before starting a cross cultural relationship.

Just my opinion.



Offline AJ

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Re: I considered going to Moscow this week
« Reply #24 on: July 16, 2022, 10:58:55 PM »
AJ, two things. I strongly disagree that you disagree.

And I strongly agree with your assertion that she would not give me the same latitude I give her- but it goes back to my first supposition - RW are drama squared.

I think many that have dated Ukrainian and Russian women will understand they take the drama up 10 levels. It is both simple and complicated. It has to do with their society, their expectations, how their men treat them and their reactions to their past relationships. There are nuances that Western men do and expect to do in a relationship that won't work or won't work as well with them.

It is like this. We really don't understand their idea of beauty in the big augmented lips. it is ugly and hideous but many women like this look. They get plastic surgery for this look. Their young girls mimic it in Instagram pictures, they make their lipstick to mimic that look.

My girl on most levels acts like a Californian girl. Careful and a little hippie but when we argue she won't talk things out. We are trained to talk things out. Dissect it. She won't hear me give my arguments. She closes up. I think it is a little immaturity too but I've seen other Russian women do the same. Once they get their mind on something. You cannot convince them if you have diagrams and pie charts or explainer videos.   

I'm emotionally invested in this woman. She doesn't ask me for money. She earns her own money. She is interested in my life and shares her life openly. She is independent and usually open minded. And she's an amazing kisser. I am sprung.

Sure I've seen *that* stubborn drama prone stereotype many times.


The push pull in relationships they are somewhat accustomed to ,accompanied with little to no communication is immature and drama.

Now what?

Fly on the spot  to play the game?
Yeap you could play similar  in socal with a certain  particular stereotype,but they would likely not play.the silent treatment as long.

Should we say all socali chicks are high drama? Some sure are.

I dated low drama in socal and in fsuw, ,because i choose to and prefered.to date compatible partners.
They exist here ,and there.

If i was truly compatable with high drama ,sure i'd pursue it. I know that i'm not.

Obviously you are ,might be,  or hope to be,
or  perhaps you are making justifications for an individuals (not a cultures) behaviors and mannerisms.

I have no idea,just pointing out you might want to think on it some.


We can only speculate and thats not fair, as we dont know her ,or you.

So we can  give our own thoughts of if we were in  the shoes we feel you are in from.extremely limited info

I never dated anyone of any nationality  that would demand such, without communicating why. I imagine i did possibly ,but briefly enough it wouldn't get to that point for good reason.
 I also expect open communication on issues.
The silent treatment as a period to cool.off,reflect  and address things rationally and with less emotion might be fine,and even pre discussed why  it could occur and the benefits for both parties, in small measure,
but the stereotype of it? Which is often an adult locked at a 14yo 's emotional.development?.
Nope.
Lifes too short.
If that entangled already, inwoukd explian my.position and  why we wernt compatable,and leave her to her silence.That would become someone elses cross to bare ;)

Relationships and marraige take good communication, ,and even more so in cross cultural.

I hope she is your jem,she may very well be.
The russisn expression *There is a hat for every head*

May very well apply :)


Outside looking in:
after some brief  time together you are jumping through hoops without the dignity of  being told whats so important at this very moment.
It seems you know its likely  a bit of test and think this is passing.

While you may feel this is cultural, ,and to some degree culturally relationships there have a bit  more of that type.drama( in younger people i'd hope).
Ask some reasonably successful russian men how many times they flew to thier  pretty birds calling without a decent explanation as to why they needed to.
Those answers are cultural too you know? And likely dont fit the other preconceived notions you had above

The women expect pursuit, thats a bit natural.
They also generally expect a man to  be an independent  intelligent man, not  a lap dog,  so asking for a real.explanation would not have been out of her expectations,no matter her behaviour.

🤷‍♂️






 

 

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