I'm Back !! : Old member who's "new" again to the FSU dating scene

[matador22]

Hey everyone, 

 10 years ago I took my first trip to Moscow to visit a woman I met on Mamba.ru.  I was too young and inexperienced at the time to take it further than an initial meeting. Fast forward to 2021 and Im now 44 and single. My ex girlfriend I met in nyc was from the country of Georgia. the eastern european bug has always been ever present. Nyc has plenty of russian women and european women but I wondered is it still worth going to eastern europe to find someone? I had heard from friends that that market had now dried up and the "golden age" of brides from the FSU was now over. Anyway I want to catch up on some threads here and do some research.  So far i tried using Mamba.ru again of course but anyone hear try Russiancupid.com ? Is it a site full of fakes? I had a few conversations with women who seemed credible.  anyway good luck and happy hunting!

[Markje]

Steveboy on this board owns a dating agency in Russia, ask him about it.

[Guile]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

[Guile]

I wouldn't use any dating agency at all. They are only out to get your money and could care less if you find a girl or not.

[matador22]

Steveboy on this board owns a dating agency in Russia, ask him about it.

Ok will do thanks for the tip !

[matador22]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

What about moving to Ukraine and staying there for like 3-6 months ? Does that work ? I guess there is no shortcut here anymore.

[Steveboy]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

What about moving to Ukraine and staying there for like 3-6 months ? Does that work ? I guess there is no shortcut here anymore.

It is the last place a youngish guy want to go to looking for a Ukrainian wife.. Avoid at all possible costs..

[matador22]

Ok now you definitely have to explain why it’s the worst ? Haha @steveboy

[Steveboy]

Ok now you definitely have to explain why it’s the worst ? Haha @steveboy

Sorry I have not got time to explain all of that  . You will have to find out like so many others.. If you decide to go to Ukraine in search of love .. as Arnold would say "Good luck"

[matador22]

Ok now you definitely have to explain why it’s the worst ? Haha @steveboy

Sorry I have not got time to explain all of that  . You will have to find out like so many others.. If you decide to go to Ukraine in search of love .. as Arnold would say "Good luck"

Haha ‘nuff said.  I got it.  Others have said the same about Ukraine 🇺🇦 in even fewer words.  Thanks though )

[Guile]

There's another member named justadude who's currently in the Ukraine right now.  You can read his thread or message him and see what he thinks.

[Guile]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

What about moving to Ukraine and staying there for like 3-6 months ? Does that work ? I guess there is no shortcut here anymore.

I've never been to the Ukraine so can't say anything about it.  I've lived in several Russian cities including Moscow.  You'll have many opportunities to date normally if you go for a few months minimum but going for 1-2 weeks to meet a girl is basically useless.  Especially now with covid it may be harder to get a tourist visa.  Americans can get a 3 year tourist visa so that's worth looking into but it's a big time and money commitment.

Don't know if you have a job at home or can just go and leave.  call it a sabbatical for love haha

[Markje]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

What about moving to Ukraine and staying there for like 3-6 months ? Does that work ? I guess there is no shortcut here anymore.

I've never been to the Ukraine so can't say anything about it.  I've lived in several Russian cities including Moscow.  You'll have many opportunities to date normally if you go for a few months minimum but going for 1-2 weeks to meet a girl is basically useless.  Especially now with covid it may be harder to get a tourist visa.  Americans can get a 3 year tourist visa so that's worth looking into but it's a big time and money commitment.

Don't know if you have a job at home or can just go and leave.  call it a sabbatical for love haha

Russia has suspended all tourist / business visa due to Covid. only family/friends as of may 2021

(Covid related things change quickly, check the official website of the fsb.ru for current information)

You can find all kinds of funny stuff on that fsb.ru website too, for instance
Russia today declassified as no longer a state secret:

Memorandum No. 841 / A of the head of the Smersh GUKR of the NKO of the USSR to the Council of People's Commissars of the USSR and the NKVD of the USSR on the atrocities of the Japanese invaders against Soviet citizens

[Markje]

oh and very interesting if you do travel to russia and want to know how corona affects russia:

https://coronavirus-control.ru/

Aeroflot itself also has a nice info-page which they keep uptodate : https://www.aeroflot.ru/xx-en/covid-19

[matador22]

Go to Moscow and teach English for a year or so. You'll meet plenty of girls the normal way. No Russian girl is gonna move to the States with a guy they met a once unless they have ulterior motives.  Forget about finding "brides".

What about moving to Ukraine and staying there for like 3-6 months ? Does that work ? I guess there is no shortcut here anymore.

I've never been to the Ukraine so can't say anything about it.  I've lived in several Russian cities including Moscow.  You'll have many opportunities to date normally if you go for a few months minimum but going for 1-2 weeks to meet a girl is basically useless.  Especially now with covid it may be harder to get a tourist visa.  Americans can get a 3 year tourist visa so that's worth looking into but it's a big time and money commitment.

Don't know if you have a job at home or can just go and leave.  call it a sabbatical for love haha

Why always Moscow and other Russian cities though ? I went to Prague years ago and had a great time. I was thinking a few months there. But on these boards it’s mostly Moscow and St. Petersburg.  Probably because more women overall ? I like your sabbatical idea. And i turn 45 next spring. Maybe summer 2022 I will
Go for a few months !

[Guile]

Why always Moscow and other Russian cities though ?

Well if we are talking about Russia it's always Moscow and the rest!  I'm sure Prague or other european cities are great too but this forum focuses on FSU countries.

If you don't speak Russian then you'll have a hard time outside Moscow.  Even there many people don't speak English so it limits your pool of dating choices.  but you'll find enough who do, it's much harder in the smaller cities.

[andrewfi]

In the end it is about meeting people. In general, relationships between couples who share cultural and social heritage, as well as language do better than those who do not.

So, why are you wanting to marry somebody from a country where the women are going to be very different to you?
You've been down this road before, so learn from what you did before. Look for somebody you find compatible with yourself. Guess where she lives?

It isn't Ukraine, Czechia, Russia. Sure, you might meet a good candidate there, but the odds are firmly set against you.

[Steveboy]

The best possible advice you can get is THIS:



And should you land up in Moscow and need to see some sites of interest I would recommend taking a few tours https://toursinmoscow.com/moscow-tours 

[matador22]

In the end it is about meeting people. In general, relationships between couples who share cultural and social heritage, as well as language do better than those who do not.

So, why are you wanting to marry somebody from a country where the women are going to be very different to you?
You've been down this road before, so learn from what you did before. Look for somebody you find compatible with yourself. Guess where she lives?

It isn't Ukraine, Czechia, Russia. Sure, you might meet a good candidate there, but the odds are firmly set against you.

I thought everyone in this forum is seeking some
Sort of long term relationship and or marriage. Then why else would anyone be here ? Confused. Ha

But yes to your point it all makes sense. And after my first trip
I realized that although it’s easier to find an average of young women who are attractive and seemingly relationship minded in Russia/FSU the distance of traveling makes building a relationship very challenging. And yes there will be cultural and language differences no doubt.

For the last 10 years all of the eastern European  and Slavic women I met were in nyc.   That made it easy to meet them because of proximity and language -they all spoke English. Plus we had common cultural reference points being in America. 

The only drawback is that you can’t date as many or as young as you can overseas. And now in 40s my age has become more
Of an issue on dating apps.   Anyway it was good to get all this feedback on the current state of things.  If I do go I will plan on staying for a few months. Working out those logistics is my next goal. Looks like Moscow and St. Petersburg are the main destinations to be.

[andrewfi]

Perhaps you need to be looking at how you represent yourself on dating apps (and in real life). I cannot speak for anyone except myself, but I have never had great problems with getting responses on dating apps whether in the UK or elsewhere.

Ask yourself what you get when you are getting these younger more attractive women overseas. What do you think?
Is there something that makes attractive young women with accents get all wet and horny with middle-aged American blokes? Does your personality change? The answer is, of course not.
You are no more attractive in this part of the world than in the USA - probably less so. Therefore something else is going on. Are you OK with women who are interested in externalities related to your home country rather than in you as a person? Is that all you're worth?

[matador22]

Perhaps you need to be looking at how you represent yourself on dating apps (and in real life). I cannot speak for anyone except myself, but I have never had great problems with getting responses on dating apps whether in the UK or elsewhere.

Ask yourself what you get when you are getting these younger more attractive women overseas. What do you think?
Is there something that makes attractive young women with accents get all wet and horny with middle-aged American blokes? Does your personality change? The answer is, of course not.
You are no more attractive in this part of the world than in the USA - probably less so. Therefore something else is going on. Are you OK with women who are interested in externalities related to your home country rather than in you as a person? Is that all you're worth?

All great questions. My question for you is why are you here ? Specifically. Ha.

Yes I have considered everything you said above over the last decade. Worked things out in therapy.  There is a transaction of sorts that happens with this type of international dating.  You’re leveraging your citizenship or economic status in some way. Of course as I’m learning things have changed significantly since my trip to Russia in 2011. 

Anyway I don’t want to make this all about my own personal development or dating challenges. I do ok. I used to do better on apps. I will just stick with nyc for now. Maybe just leave Europe for vacations.  But your feedback does raise fantastic questions everyone should be asking themselves in their dating lives in general.  Why do we seek the people we do ? And what is the most important thing ? Chemistry ? Compatibility? Etc….

[Steveboy]

Perhaps you need to be looking at how you represent yourself on dating apps (and in real life). I cannot speak for anyone except myself, but I have never had great problems with getting responses on dating apps whether in the UK or elsewhere.

Ask yourself what you get when you are getting these younger more attractive women overseas. What do you think?
Is there something that makes attractive young women with accents get all wet and horny with middle-aged American blokes? Does your personality change? The answer is, of course not.
You are no more attractive in this part of the world than in the USA - probably less so. Therefore something else is going on. Are you OK with women who are interested in externalities related to your home country rather than in you as a person? Is that all you're worth?

All great questions. My question for you is why are you here ? Specifically. Ha.

Yes I have considered everything you said above over the last decade. Worked things out in therapy.  There is a transaction of sorts that happens with this type of international dating.  You’re leveraging your citizenship or economic status in some way. Of course as I’m learning things have changed significantly since my trip to Russia in 2011. 

Anyway I don’t want to make this all about my own personal development or dating challenges. I do ok. I used to do better on apps. I will just stick with nyc for now. Maybe just leave Europe for vacations.  But your feedback does raise fantastic questions everyone should be asking themselves in their dating lives in general.  Why do we seek the people we do ? And what is the most important thing ? Chemistry ? Compatibility? Etc….

Most guys seek Russian women cos they are tired of the local fat slappers that is for sure.. and probably thing ever young beautiful Russian women is a sex bomb just waiting to get in bed with the guy in thankfulness for rescuing her from a life of poverty..

There are also the guys who have no money in their own country so obviously the local beauties will not be interested .. BUT there is always those desperate young beauties in Russia waiting to marry any guy even if he is 50 years older..  Well so they think..

[matador22]

My reasoning is simple. Nyc women on average put off marriage and kids as long as possible.  I have many female friends who make great money and have strong career success however they single and miserable.  They have high standards. Unfortunate men want someone younger usually and if a man wants kids someday he definitely wants someone younger.  The women I meet in their late 30s early 40s are a maybe on kids. Many say flat out no to kids. And as for getting married they have a hard time finding someone suitable for them. 

Russia and other countries in that region I found women to be way more open to marriage and kids and at a younger age.  The problem of course is they live thousands of miles away from me.  I'm guessing the best solution is really just to move to Moscow or some part of Europe. Maybe semi permanently.  I don't see how bringing someone back to America or any other country works so well.

[andrewfi]

So you're doing a Cufflinks. Using the idea of flinging your dna into the future to chase after younger women.

You've had more than a decade to do that. Excuse me for hearing justifications and excuses.

So now your specification list has become even more prescriptive. You're looking for a young, attractive brood mare willing to settle down with a significantly older foreign man in another country.

Yup, I can imagine there's a queue of physically attractive, well adjusted women of moderate to good intelligence, decently well socialised in good mental and physical health who have nothing to lose by giving up their life, family and career in Eastern Europe - not!

Your earlier idea in this thread if finding a woman near to you geographically and culturally was far better. Put some effort into that.

[redroo]

It's probably time for me to enter this conversation since I'm actually in Ukraine as part of my "2 summers" lifestyle, and have strong links to Russia.

The advice you are getting is sound! 2011 is dead and buried, as are 2 week "engagement" tours.
Ukrainian women now have visa free access to the EU (for the most part), the economy is better (as supported by the EU and US), and the internet of "things" has changed their outlook on the world. Most have travelled, are better paid than they used to be, and have a brighter outlook on what life offers them, and their own "value". They are also delaying marriage and kids for material things, just like their Western sisters.....and are far, far, FAR more brand conscious.

I spend the Northern Summer here each year. This year I didn't even need a (48hr prior to travel) PCR test curtesy of my Digital Vax certificate and medical insurance. A full 60 seconds spent with immigration, and bang, 90 days stamped and out the door. No entry test or Quarantine at all.
Since I am actually locked out of Australia at the moment (due to my Government's obsession with returning to it's previous status a a prison island) I am considering converting to a D Visa when my 90 days is up, and Temporary Residency (12 months multi entry). If not, I will just move out for 90 days to Greece or Montenegro, then return.

BUT.....Agencies  still flourish in Ukraine, and will be more than happy to take your time and money to meet (un-available) girls. Unlike before when they specialized in 18-35s, now they also have lots of 40-50s women to snare those men who think "older" ladies aren't in on the scams. Hint, they often still are!
Unless you are prepared to come over and live for 3 months minimum, I agree it's hardly worth it. I have found over many years, that the fact I come to stay, rather than "tour" for a week or two, makes a world of difference to who would date me and become my girlfriend.
JAD and a couple of others actually live year round in Ukraine. I'm sure they can back us up if they choose to chime in.

Russian girls have changed even more than Ukrainian ones in the past decade, and the Visa situation is a pain in the arse compared to Ukraine. I have Russian family so can use them for visas, but even now with Covid restrictions it is possible to book Medical/Dental "treatment" at an approved facility and get entry.

Your question as to "why are we still in this group?"....we're too lazy to leave and find new people to argue with :-)