Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU > Dating in the FSU and Other Countries

Ode to a Sugar Baby

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justadude:
You can read about much of this in Adventure Stories. But I thought I'd make a summary here. I started dating a beautiful 25yo girl in February in Odessa. Our relationship began as a specific arrangement with an agreed upon allowance of $800/month. She quit her job soon after our relationship started and moved to a nicer apartment. Our relationship survived 6 months, a trip to Egypt together and a one month trip by me alone to California, during which she dog sat in my apartment.

To me she was a drop dead gorgeous knockout. Often I'd wonder about what forces could have conspired to create such a beautiful creature. She worked on her abs and ass every day. Truly amazing. She also wore clothes I liked (short dresses, heels, lingerie, costumes). Went to the spa twice a week. Nails and hair always beautiful. No kids.

 There were some power struggles along the way, culminating in 4 big talks where I described how things were not working for me. On the last big one, about 6 weeks ago, I broke up with her.

 I knew it wasn't going to be easy to replace her, so when we met for lunch for the tradition of giving her back the stuff she left at my apartment, we starting talking and got back together 5 days later.

At this time she told me she wanted something less serious. I didn't really understand at the time, but as it turned out she didn't really want romance any more. There was sex, making dinner, watching netflix, but we didn't really go out any more. Incidentally at this time we agreed to see each other every other day.

One day while we were driving in my car, a notification from a dating app popped up on my phone. At the time her girlfriend was riding in the back. So it was embarrassing for her. She talked to me about it later. Said she wasn't angry. While trying not to sound defensive, I told her we both knew the relationship wouldn't last forever. She told me she didn't mind if I had sex with another girl, so long as I use a condom. As it turned out, that did not happen.

A week ago she told me she wanted to take a break in our relationship, by text. Incidentally, I have no problem with the delivery method. I think I handled it quite well. I told her she needs to do what's right for her. And that she's a great girl and I wish her well. She replied that she only wants a break. I wasn't going to argue, but in my mind there is no such thing. I believe in second chances (ok 3rd in this case), but planning for a break isn't practical.

I'm not sitting around waiting for her, but I'm pretty down about it. I haven't deleted the pictures on my phone yet, even though I hate to run across them. This hurts a lot more than I had anticipated. I'm almost always the relationship ender, and that's not easy for me either. You can read elsewhere about the guilt I experience from that. From a karma perspective I definitely deserve this pain.

Just before the relationship ended I introduced a friend to her sister. They hit it off and their relationship started just when ours ended. Honestly it's hard for me to be happy for him(I feel stupid for admitting that, but I'm being honest), even though he's a really cool dude and the sister is great too.

I'm trying to stay busy. In fact, I started teaching in one Ukrainian university and studying in another.

I think about things I could have done differently. I don't always think being nicer to a girl gets you what you want. And I'm not suggesting that being an ass is good either. But for sure I could have put more effort into keeping her.

So there's the story. I'm not looking for advice, but I'll probably get some anyways, this being an internet forum and all. Maybe if I continue to share my struggles someone out there will benefit.

andrewfi:
Hmm, subtlety, good taste and tact, three aspects of your personality that appear to be something of a dead zone.

Maybe add to that, a lack of proficiency with modern technology such as smartphones.

Given what we know about you, I am inclined to think that you did not silence those dating app notifications on purpose. You wanted to signal to her that you wanted out and she was tactful enough to give it to you without slicing off your nuts or emptying your apartment.

Steveboy:
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyF8RHM1OCg
Here we go again time for tissues and tears..

NS1:
Based on your other stories, this is the inevitable end.
Arrangments are great and may serve a purpose,
but rarely do they last forever, everyone has different span of time.

You already know this, so the pain is expected, want different results,
do it different. I do like your updates, hopefully someday you figure it out.

AvHdB:
Answer for your self where do you see your self in 5 ~ 10 years.

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