Buying women an apartment, car or other high ticket items.

[Manny]

Something Tex wrote prompted this.

I bought her a flat about five years ago. We went to the stores together and bought all the supplies then hire people to do the work on the interior. I did four trips just buying and working on the flat. I just bought her son a flat and the building is being built. It should be ready next summer for us to start to build the interior. The last flat took nearly a year  after it was finished before all the utilities was hooked up so we are considering that might happen again.

I kinda get buying the woman an apartment, although not something I would do personally. But I do wonder how come Tex ends up buying her son one too?

Try not to make this a pile on please chaps.

It also opens up the wider questions about buying women expensive stuff like cars, apartments, etc. People will Google stuff like this, and there are blokes out there who might imagine this is usual. It isn't.

Tex may have his reasons, but don't y'all go out buying women apartments now lest you end up like this bloke.

[Markje]

I think this mostly depends on your whole disposable income (as in, no loss if you loose that money).

My personal opinion, I would only do so if I am living together + married to that woman (and perhaps her son too then).

[andrewfi]

I still reckon Texan77 is supporting her real boyfriend as well as the woman he sponsors. However, it is clearly a fairly stable relationship in which Texan77 performs his duties and receives what he considers to be fair value in exchange.

I have long held the view that it makes practical sense to enable one's partner to enjoy one's own lifestyle, especially when together. So, if a guy is significantly better off than his woman he is going to buy the meals, pay for the holidays and maybe clothing and accessories. I know that's not universal and I also know that when guys are too stingy but expect their less well-off women to take part in their life that it can make life difficult for the woman. Buying apartments, especially on the scale that Texan77 has done, well, the guy seems happy with what he's got and is likely determined to spend his inheritance before he dies.

[AvHdB]

As I recall, Tex clearly stated in an earlier post his reasoning why he went this route.

He can repeat here if he so wishes.

[Markje]

As I recall, Tex clearly stated in an earlier post his reasoning why he went this route.

He can repeat here if he so wishes.

The quote

For those whom search tex's quotes original. Short version: The apartment makes him money, instead of paying rent for a flat for his girl.

[andrewfi]

It's just shuffling money from one pocket to the other.
He's paying for his sugar babe's apartment.

He's not profiting from it, although if he is the owner and can regain possession when the arrangement ends he can do something with the place. But the backup place? That's gone, dead money.

[Contrarian]

Tex has been with the gal for about 8 years IIRC and he seems very happy with the relationship. I do believe it's a real relationship because he gets text messages and other communication with her on a regular basis.

I remember reading that when Tex met her son the son was really happy to have a man who was interested in his life and did stuff with him.

If Tex is happy which it appears he is and the woman and her son are happy then this is a successful relationship the way it is, although a bit unconventional.

It's not like Tex is getting engaged, bringing the woman all the way to the USA and then backing out of it last minute like some other bloke who is now renting a woman but it seems never happy and has been through at least 3 or 4 women.

Tex has been with the one gal the whole time. Good for Tex.

[Guile]

maybe he wants to spend his money this way...or can afford to do so or both.  Unlike some former member who would count every pence of gas owed him and sleep on friends' sofas to save a few pounds 

[Contrarian]

maybe he wants to spend his money this way...or can afford to do so or both.  Unlike some former member who would count every pence of gas owed him and sleep on friends' sofas to save a few pounds 

Oh gawd please no, NO NO NO!!! 

[BillyB]

If Tex is happy which it appears he is and the woman and her son are happy then this is a successful relationship the way it is, although a bit unconventional.

I've known guys that say they are happy with a relationship but deep down they want more. If Tex has a friends with benefits relationship with the gal, what are his benefits? I will buy big ticket items for my family. The key is they got to be my family. Girlfriends don't count.

[AvHdB]

If Tex is happy which it appears he is and the woman and her son are happy then this is a successful relationship the way it is, although a bit unconventional.

I've known guys that say they are happy with a relationship but deep down they want more. If Tex has a friends with benefits relationship with the gal, what are his benefits? I will buy big ticket items for my family. The key is they got to be my family. Girlfriends don't count.

I suspect Tex is in a committed relationship. Perhaps unconventional but it seems nurturing. Consider Tex is a generation older than some.   (But I think we all are old farts.)

[andrewfi]

It's gone on for a long time. It clearly meets the needs of ALL stakeholders.

But I think this thread is not about Texan77 but the more general case of which Texan77 is a specific example.

[NS1]

Tex has been in this for some time and seems happy with the arrangement,
good for him. Others doing some real silly things as many stories attest to

Money is only relevant to how you enjoy it. Maybe for some $40-60 k is chump change
and no big deal, for others hard to fathom. We all spend money on wants over needs.
Cars or homes are a great example, 100 K plus cars is a want and easily argued a waste.
But we want what we want.

I hope new readers, read many stories and get as much advice as possible to save
time and money. 

[Texan77]

When I first went to Ukraine I started to look for a woman. After a few dates I figured what I really wanted was a ready made family. I was in my 60's and had no children and my mother's health was not good. I was too old to start a new family and was not really excited about a baby anyway. I wanted a child I could play with and have fun with. So I started only dating women with children around 10 years of age. When I met Yana we went to dinner together and the owner of the dating company came with us. I spent half of the time with her and half of the time with him. Before dinner I would play tag with him and silly ways to show him attention.

I did not know this at the time but he very much wanted a father figure in his life. He never saw his father. It was a cause of great deal of pain to him that other children had fathers and he did not. When she dated other men he felt they were tolerating him but in my case he felt like he was a valuable asset that I enjoyed. He never felt that before.

Fast forward eight years we are and have been very close. So now I am looking at the realities of what he is facing in life. He is looking at getting work where he would never be able to buy any type of home. Their is no loan system in Ukraine for people like him. Work will provide food and things needed in life but nothing extra to save for a home. It is nearly impossible. This is true even in a lot of first world countries today. This flat changes his prospects of what will be possible in like for many years to come if not his entire life.  He has always appreciated everything I have done for him and it is a pleasure to have bought it for him.

The mother has told me a number of times that her flat is her pride and joy in life. That it is has changed the way she feels about herself. The difference from feeling of being a refugee and having no place to go except to depend on my money each month and having her own place was huge. Yes the flats are gifts in their name. They do not need to keep going with me or show an interest in me in order to live there.   

What I get out of this is a feeling of a warm loving family. Yes it is not prefect but what family is? Still we very much have an emotional attachment to each other and she brings joy into my life where other wise it would be just empty.  I do not know how to put a value on that. I have no regrets over the flats.

I appreciate all the kind comments.

[AvHdB]

What I believe Tex is omitting is that Yana is from either the Donbass or Kharkov region, which partially explains why they moved so far West to Ivavno F.

[redroo]

Tex, nice to hear from you, and glad to see you still find happiness following your own path 

[Texan77]

Yana is from Lugansk. Her home was shelled and much of it was destroyed. I saw pictures of it which big hole in the stone wall, windows and doors all blown out. It would killed anyone who would been inside the house.  Still it only cost 1500 dollars to repair it. She was staying in a bomb shelter while this was happening. Her mother stills lives in Lugansk with her grand mother who is very old. Her grand father dies a couple of years ago. Her mother lives in the house where her grandparents lived the one Yana lived in with her mother remains empty.

The move to Zaporzhzhya was supposed to be temporary until the war settled down. When it became apparent the home where she grew up was never going to be the same, we start to look else where she could live. Yana was traumatized and did not want to be any where near the Russian border. Zaporzhzhya was still too close. She loves water but did not want to go to Odessa to even look at anything. She had a fear Odessa was still going to be a future war zone and she did not want to do that again.  We looked at Kiev but she felt to much happens in Kiev and she wanted a quiet place where she could raise her son. She had a cousin and an aunt who lived in Ivano Frankivsk. So she felt she was not alone there. Her Cousin was in Real estate and able to help us buy the first apartment.

Buying a pre-construction flat usually works out but there is a risk to it. You do not really own the flat until the building is complete. If something happens and the builder does not complete it or other legal claims against the land the building sit on come up you can have a problem. There is usually a discount for what the flat should sell for when the building is complete. So there are people who buy flats in building just to resell them when the building is complete. They do not finish the interiors just concrete bear walls in the flat. Some sit on the empty flats for years hoping for an increase in value. It seems to be a good investment. I paid 40 per cent more per square meter than I paid for the first flat less than five years ago. 

Yana wanted to buy this flat for her son because it was the same company who built her flat. She felt safer buying this one rather than one from a different company. It was near the center of the city. This was the second to the last flat for sale in the building though the building was no where near complete.

We talked about buying a house. They did not want a house. It just does not fit the Ukrainian life style. It would been beyond the bus route. The increase utility bills and having to have a car made it not practical.  Icy roads in the winter can make it hard to get to work. The reasons seem very compelling and flat cost a lot less so I was not going to argue. 

[Contrarian]

When I first went to Ukraine I started to look for a woman. After a few dates I figured what I really wanted was a ready made family. I was in my 60's and had no children and my mother's health was not good. I was too old to start a new family and was not really excited about a baby anyway. I wanted a child I could play with and have fun with. So I started only dating women with children around 10 years of age. When I met Yana we went to dinner together and the owner of the dating company came with us.

Great story Tex! What is the name of the dating company she was using there in Ukraine?

Was there a different company who you were using, like a conglomerate, which you used on your end in the USA before getting put in touch with Yana and then going to Ukraine to meet her? Thanks in advance.

[Steveboy]

Basically if your buying someone an apartment and your not regularly $%*&$@^ her , visiting her and so on there is NO relationship.. It is as simple as that..If you visit someone who you are apparently having a relationship once a year then that is not a relationship..In fact 98% of the time whilst your thinking you have a long term, long distance relationship.. the other half are actually having a real relationship with some local guy. Your photos on the wall just appear when you arrive for your yearly visit..

Your just being used for your money, of course that is the individuals choice, I guess if you have money to burn then no problem.. I could never imagine it myself.

It is just a business in Ukraine just as it is in many other countries but more so in Ukraine..I cant understand why anyone would want to buy a women a house in another country.. what can you possibly get from it.. no sex for sure.. I mean everyone wants sex?? Or maybe they don't.. sex is like money and makes the world go around..

[andrewfi]

Steve, I tend to agree.
Many purchases are made on emotional grounds rather than objectively - no matter what we might think.

As long as the buyer is content with his purchase then who are we to gainsay his choice? We might signpost cases in order that others might make different choices. We might even point out a case to the parties involved in case they are unaware, but that's all.

I might think that subsidising a woman and her family for years is a waste of money, but others might point a finger at me, in the same vein, for spending thousands on antique hi-fi and pointless watches. Both Texan77 and I get satisfaction from our spending.

[Steveboy]

Steve, I tend to agree.
Many purchases are made on emotional grounds rather than objectively - no matter what we might think.

As long as the buyer is content with his purchase then who are we to gainsay his choice? We might signpost cases in order that others might make different choices. We might even point out a case to the parties involved in case they are unaware, but that's all.

I might think that subsidising a woman and her family for years is a waste of money, but others might point a finger at me, in the same vein, for spending thousands on antique hi-fi and pointless watches. Both Texan77 and I get satisfaction from our spending.

I might think that subsidising a woman and her family for years is a waste of money, Yes you make your own bed in life sleep on it, I do not care what people do really , if someone wants sex with hamsters that is their business .. everyone to themselves and if you got plenty of cash laying about what you do with it is no ones business really.. If Tex wants to sponsor some one that is his problem or his business. I do not think any worse of anyone.. if you like having sex with dead bodies that is also your choice doesn't mean your a bad person , though I would be sure I never invited them to my funeral..

[AvHdB]

Steve, I tend to agree.
Many purchases are made on emotional grounds rather than objectively - no matter what we might think.

As long as the buyer is content with his purchase then who are we to gainsay his choice? We might signpost cases in order that others might make different choices. We might even point out a case to the parties involved in case they are unaware, but that's all.

I might think that subsidising a woman and her family for years is a waste of money, but others might point a finger at me, in the same vein, for spending thousands on antique hi-fi and pointless watches. Both Texan77 and I get satisfaction from our spending.

I might think that subsidising a woman and her family for years is a waste of money, Yes you make your own bed in life sleep on it, I do not care what people do really , if someone wants sex with hamsters that is their business .. everyone to themselves and if you got plenty of cash laying about what you do with it is no ones business really.. If Tex wants to sponsor some one that is his problem or his business. I do not think any worse of anyone.. if you like having sex with dead bodies that is also your choice doesn't mean your a bad person , though I would be sure I never invited them to my funeral..

Reminds of the case of a man brought before a judge, the accused supposedly was intimate with a corpse. His defense was that he thought she was English.

If the relationship works for Tex, I compliment him and his partner. I have observed far too many toxic relationships.

[Texan77]

The dating service I used no longer exist.

After the fall of Lugansk to pro Russian separatist she moved to Kiev and did not start another service. Back in 2015 we a had a luncheon date with her in Kiev the four of us. That was the last time I saw her.

What I needed is not sex but rather the warm feeling of being care for. In the end, it is why anyone has a family. If it was about sex I would get a new one every few months. She is just an average looking girl who happens to appreciate me.

Yea what happens here in the USA often the kids grow up and hate you. After twenty years the wife want a divorce and she hates you too. It does not always end well.

What I did here is made someone's life better. Raised a child who would been raised in a very bad way without my help. In returned I am loved and appreciated. Is it a waste of money?

[AvHdB]

The dating service I used no longer exist.

After the fall of Lugansk to pro Russian separatist she moved to Kiev and did not start another service. Back in 2015 we a had a luncheon date with her in Kiev the four of us. That was the last time I saw her.

What I needed is not sex but rather the warm feeling of being care for. In the end, it is why anyone has a family. If it was about sex I would get a new one every few months. She is just an average looking girl who happens to appreciate me.

Yea what happens here in the USA often the kids grow up and hate you. After twenty years the wife want a divorce and she hates you too. It does not always end well.

What I did here is made someone's life better. Raised a child who would been raised in a very bad way without my help. In returned I am loved and appreciated. Is it a waste of money?

     

[redroo]

"What I did here is made someone's life better. Raised a child who would been raised in a very bad way without my help. In returned I am loved and appreciated. Is it a waste of money?"

Not if you're getting what you need, and it makes you happy, Tex. Tread your own path.