It's that time of year again, and, keeping with tradition, I repost a (slightly updated, also keeping with tradition) version of "A Visit From St. Bubba - An RUA Christmas Fairy Tale" Happy Christmas to all!
A Visit From St. Bubba - 2020
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through RUA,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Markje;
The thigh-highs were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Снегу́рочка soon would be there;
Cufflinks and Bill want to help build Trump's Wall,
While Steveboy looks at zombie Remainers and mutters, "Fcuk all",
AvHdB pondered a new Christmas yacht,
And Confederate sleuthed out Muslim terrorist plots,
The n00bs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of toned popkas danced in their heads;
Andrew and Manny shared a nightcap,
And Shakey, and Herrie and Orchid played craps,
Then from the corner arose such a clatter
Everyone stopped to see what was the matter
It was B/B, that jolly old chap,
Jolted awake from a long winter's nap
He snorted and blinked twice, eyes open wide
And a limo screeched to a halt just outside
Two black suited men burst through the door
A red carpet, between them, rolled out on the floor
I thought maybe I'd had too many martinis,
But the next thing I saw was 8 girls in bikinis!
Each with long, slender legs, and a tiny flat belly
That most certainly did NOT shake like a bowlful of jelly!
And down the red carpet they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Sasha, now Dasha, now Galina and Vika,
now Yana, Sofia, Marina and Nika!"
B/B looked at me and gave me a wink
"It won't be their *stockings* I'll be stuffing, I think"
They grabbed him and carried him outside of the bar
and dropped him into the hot tub in the back seat of the car
And as the tires squealed and he drove out of sight,
I heard him exclaim, on that cold winter's night
"Whether 'write many or few or just one' (which I think is insane)
The best thing you can do is to get on a plane!"