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Author Topic: What happened in Lutsk?  (Read 653 times)

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Offline tock

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What happened in Lutsk?
« on: June 28, 2020, 01:22:33 PM »
Hello from a previous member that was unable to remember his password. Well getting to the point - I'm worried. But first some background; I'll keep it as short as possible.
   We began 3 years ago and became closer with visits and weekly Skype and Russian lessons. (why 3 years is not relevant here) I was planning to ask THE question in June but didn't due to the pandemic. She is however aware of my plan to ask her and we have already made plans for the future, that I would move there with her.
  On Friday she e-mailed me the expected language lesson, on Saturday I texted her but she did not reply, ok. On Sunday no show on Skype. No response to several calls and texts. Unusual. I don't know her father's name and she lives alone. On a long shot I sent 3 different sets of flowers to be sent to her/ neighbor along with a message, in Ukrainian, for her father, in a feeble hope that the neighbor may relay the message to her dad. (I have sent numerous flowers before where the flowers were left with this neighbor so I know it was worth a try.) The idea of possibly never knowing what happened is deeply disturbing. Of course anyone reading this will conclude that I should have had an alternate way of emergency contact. Sadly I learned this too late. Sadly, I'm now out of ideas. I would be grateful for any ideas or suggestions on how I could find more information about what may have happened to her- no matter how far fetched. Thank you for reading.

Online Steveboy

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 01:55:52 PM »
Three years is a long time to be having weekly Skype conversations?

Probably got bored of waiting and found another guy maybe local.. it happens..

What exactly is the weekly language thing then? Your teaching? paying or?
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Online AvHdB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2020, 02:06:23 PM »
It is almost impossible to give an answer. One can speculate, but the way I read your post you have met in person a number of times.

Perhaps you can direct us to an earlier thread where there is more information.

Hope all ends well.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot


Online BillyB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2020, 03:02:37 PM »
3 years is a long time for a woman to wait for a man to make a decision. She may have concluded you aren't into her as much as she'd like or you can't make decisions quickly on a good thing when it's in front of your eyes. Her boat may have sailed and you missed the boat. You may have to start over.
"Billy, go read. You don't need to be an 'expert' to read. Billy, again read stuff. Even if this disease ends up being serious, in a few months it will be gone. That's how these things work." quote by forum epidemic and virology expert Andrewfi Jan 28, 2020 on the coronavirus

Offline Texan77

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2020, 03:46:07 PM »
Sometime we assume the worse when it is something simple. I do not have any experience with this but you may hire a private investigator and see if he can contact with her to know what happened. I would wait another week just to see if it is something simple maybe she fell and broke her leg or something. If she is in a hospital she may not be able to contact you. Do you have a phone number and a address? That is a big help. You have visited her so you should know these things. Do you know where her father lives and his address and name?

Also part of Ukraine is experiencing a flood. 

Offline Manny

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2020, 03:49:08 PM »
Were you sending money?
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<<

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2020, 04:02:12 PM »
Manny asks a good question.

The flooding affected primarily, Ivano-Frankivsk, Chernivtsi, Lviv, and Ternopil regions. Lutsk is to the North closer, to Poland.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Online Steveboy

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2020, 04:16:46 PM »
Were you sending money?

All the muppets are sending money...
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Offline Manny

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2020, 04:18:13 PM »
Three years is a long time to be having weekly Skype conversations?

He said visits too.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<<

"He wants to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out. He reckons that's a great idea. The Chinese built a wall centuries ago - there ain't many Mexicans over there." ~ Kevin Bloody Wilson

Offline tock

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2020, 04:29:46 PM »
Thank you all.
   I mentioned that the 3 years is irrelevant because it is. It was just background and it's way too complicated to explain here. It was what we chose to do. We have met 3 times and spent 3 weeks together each time. IMHO there is no set formula for this sort of thing and it's a mistake to set parameters; it's really a matter of personal choices. To dive in too to soon only contributes to the already high divorce rate that is the reality of online dating. I've seen this many times over the years on forums. We are both aware of this fact and we are ok with it.
   I do have some loose ties here at home that has to be dealt with before I bust a move and start a new life there. I would mention that I have a lot of previous experience in what we all are doing here. Again it is just too complicated to explain fully, and really, it has no bearing on my concern.  As I mentioned already, I foolishly neglected to get her fathers number in case of some emergency. I'm still face slapping myself over this. I know better. Even so, I know her quite well and this is out of character for her.
  I had been previously teaching myself Russian but to prepare for the big move she recently began helping me to switch over to Ukrainian in which I am making good progress. But as it is, unless I can think of something else to do I can only wait. I kind of hope you're right Texan77, a broken leg is better than what I have been imagining such as the flood. And no, I have never sent her money and she has never asked. She seems to do well as lawyer there. Again thanks to all.

Offline Manny

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2020, 04:35:50 PM »
Your messages: do you use something like WhatsApp where are you can see when it is received and/or read? And if so, were they delivered and/or read?

What happens when you dial the number for a voice call?

Does anyone here have contacts in Lutsk?
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<<

"He wants to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out. He reckons that's a great idea. The Chinese built a wall centuries ago - there ain't many Mexicans over there." ~ Kevin Bloody Wilson

Online AvHdB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2020, 06:33:52 PM »
   I do have some loose ties here at home that has to be dealt with before I bust a move and start a new life there. I would mention that I have a lot of previous experience in what we all are doing here.

Curiosity has the better of certain fears. What do you mean by 'loose ties' and 'a lot of previous experience'?
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Texan77

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2020, 06:53:39 PM »
If she is a lawyer then maybe do you know where she works? Is she in private practice? Does she have partners? I only ask these questions because you maybe able to do a search for her and find the business where she works. Get a number and call her office and find out what happened.




Online AvHdB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2020, 07:16:08 PM »
If she is a lawyer then maybe do you know where she works? Is she in private practice? Does she have partners? I only ask these questions because you maybe able to do a search for her and find the business where she works. Get a number and call her office and find out what happened.

Good idea.

What about FaceBook or a Russian/Ukraine version?

Curious you have it seems met her father, what about other friends/family when you were together. Do you have any ability to contact them? Did you ever create a 'safety' word for use in an emergency?

Like Texan noted up thread you might be worrying over a small matter.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Online BillyB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2020, 07:22:36 AM »
If she is a lawyer then maybe do you know where she works? Is she in private practice? Does she have partners? I only ask these questions because you maybe able to do a search for her and find the business where she works. Get a number and call her office and find out what happened.


Did she introduce Tock into her world? Has she given him her work number? Does her co-workers even know she exists? Best he call and email the contact info she game him. Show concern and only that. Don't ask any questions like "Did I do something wrong?"
"Billy, go read. You don't need to be an 'expert' to read. Billy, again read stuff. Even if this disease ends up being serious, in a few months it will be gone. That's how these things work." quote by forum epidemic and virology expert Andrewfi Jan 28, 2020 on the coronavirus

Online Steveboy

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #15 on: June 29, 2020, 08:54:35 AM »
Once upon a time I was speaking to some girl for a few weeks .. was at Gatwick ready to board just had a few words with her before we took off..

When I landed there was no trace of her.. she never turned up to meet me and never heard from her again.. :laugh:
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Offline B.B.

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #16 on: June 29, 2020, 03:06:27 PM »
Also part of Ukraine is experiencing a flood.

Not Lutsk.  I just asked a buddy of mine (Ukr citizen) who is in country.

Your messages: do you use something like WhatsApp where are you can see when it is received and/or read? And if so, were they delivered and/or read?

What happens when you dial the number for a voice call?

Does anyone here have contacts in Lutsk?

^ Excellent questions.  My Kyiv pal specifically asked about the voice call first thing.

B/B
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Online AvHdB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #17 on: June 29, 2020, 06:28:32 PM »
Tick ~ Tock

 :popcorn: 
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline PaulR

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #18 on: June 29, 2020, 06:47:59 PM »
If anyone who claims a relationship and can't create a meeting inside of one year, they aren't in a relationship, they just have an "activity".

Crap or get off the pot.

Offline CaptB

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2020, 10:05:18 AM »
Those who think they are in a "relationship" because they "skype" .....or other virtual contact........are kidding themselves. You can Skype, phone, write......for weeks.....months....or a year or two.......then meet face to face and find the chemistry.....was only perceived......but did not happen when you actually "met in person. Skype is great......for continuing a relationship. Use it before you meet someone.......just keep in mind it is not .....a relationship. That can only be established (maybe :) .......upon actual face to face contact.

My opinion is you should meet in "her" hometown first. If you meet somewhere else.....you are on "vacation". It is easy to be on good behavior......during a vacation. In her hometown you will get to meet friends, relatives & co-workers. You will get to see how they "regard"......her. My wife's friends, relatives & coworkers let me know how they felt about her. In no uncertain terms they let me know that I was lucky to have her show an interest in me. If the FSUW shows
any hesitancy to meet in her hometown....or meet her people......that would be a red flag for me. Go on a vacation.....after you have decided you like each other.

I think you should be able to determine to visit her (or several) within 90 days time. If after a few Skypes.....there is some mutual interest.....I would state you may be visiting her country around the beginning, middle, end-of (pick a month)........etc. If you can not visit within 3 - 6 (at most) months.......I would not bother starting this journey....... you are just wasting her time. There are exceptions (are there not always).....a very few may have written, Skiped....etc....for 1, 2 3 years and had success (actually got married).......but it is very rare (anything is possible).

It is too bad that there are few good agencies left. When I look at forum the are many guys with up to 20 visits.....but no wife. Everyone always used to bitch about the cost of an agency........but only about 1 1/2 times the cost of doing it on your own. The agency provided good accommodation, access to profiles, good cab drivers (mine was the chief of police in Tver) and an interpreter 12 hours a day (or more)......7 days a week. The agency had many successful matches all posted on a large board. Several matches were made while I was there.

A real relationship will only happen (maybe).......after ...............you actually meet.

Capt B
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Offline Texan77

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Re: What happened in Lutsk?
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2020, 10:18:13 AM »
I agree with one thing. If you want to find someone you need to meet them in their home town on a date, just in a park or something. If you plan a trip out of the country all the really good girls are not going to go. They do not know you why should they leave the country. The one that do go are likely to scam you in some way. One guy on this site a number of years ago wanted to sue a girl who went on a date with him. She got to the location and found other people to do things with and basically left him out except for paying for the trip. If you can not afford to make trips (PLURAL) then do not date FSU girls.