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Author Topic: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes  (Read 175 times)

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Online Lord of the Dance

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Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« on: May 17, 2020, 10:26:39 PM »
Larry Groce - 'Junk Food Junkie'

"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

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Re: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2020, 04:34:25 PM »
Weird Al Yankovic - 'Grapefruit Diet'

"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

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Re: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2020, 06:13:43 PM »

Tried to amend my carnivorous habit
Made it nearly seventy days
Losing weight without speed eating sunflower seeds
Drinking lots of carrot juice and soaking up rays
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini fettucini or bulgur wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Cheeseburger in paradise
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise

J. Buffet
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot


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Re: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2020, 09:31:52 PM »

Tried to amend my carnivorous habit
Made it nearly seventy days
Losing weight without speed eating sunflower seeds
Drinking lots of carrot juice and soaking up rays
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini fettucini or bulgur wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Cheeseburger in paradise
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise

J. Buffet


A classic!  :gousa:
"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

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Re: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2020, 09:35:20 PM »
Weird Al Yankovic - 'I'm Fat'

"My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great, and my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait." - Canticle of the Turning

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Re: Health & Wellness Comedy / Jokes
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2020, 01:22:10 AM »
A Little is Enough ~ P. Townsend


I'm like a connoisseur of champagne cognac
The perfume nearly beats the taste
I eat an oyster and I feel the contact
But more than one would be a waste
Some people want an endless line that's true
But all I have to have's a little time with you
A smile sets me reeling
A kiss feel like stealing
Your love is like heroin
This addict is mellowing
I can't pretend that I'm tough
Just a little is enough

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“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot


 

 

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