Three Weeks with a Belarussian Princess in California

[Texan77]

Maybe you found an arrangement that works. She shows up when ever and you enjoy the conversation, dinner and afterwards. End of story.

[Manny]

Maybe you found an arrangement that works. She shows up when ever and you enjoy the conversation, dinner and afterwards. End of story.

That’s what it’s looking like. I’d be using protection though.

[BillyB]

Maybe you found an arrangement that works. She shows up when ever and you enjoy the conversation, dinner and afterwards. End of story.

He'll have to get used to her disappearing for 9 days at a time. An on and off kind of friends with benefits relationship. He gets sex but she'll want something in return. Dinner and conversation is not enough.

[Texan77]

If she is going to show up when ever it needs to be enough or not very much. There is likely several contributors to the cause including her ex.  I wonder why ex was abusive? I wonder what his side of the story was? Maybe she was never home and he would get a little angry having to work and watch the children? Maybe after she was gone for several night at time often he suspected she was cheating? This kind of stuff can be very up setting to most men. As long as you are only having fun it is great.

[andrewfi]

Maybe you found an arrangement that works. She shows up when ever and you enjoy the conversation, dinner and afterwards. End of story.

That’s what it’s looking like. I’d be using protection though.

Given what we have been told I doubt that a condom will provide adequate protection against the risks involved with this one.

[Contrarian]

Maybe you found an arrangement that works. She shows up when ever and you enjoy the conversation, dinner and afterwards. End of story.

That’s what it’s looking like. I’d be using protection though.

Given what we have been told I doubt that a condom will provide adequate protection against the risks involved with this one.

Stupid is as stupid does.

The good one wasn’t exciting enough it seems.

[justadude]

You might want to learn about BPD.

You might want to learn why you are attracted to women who signal they are open to abusive relationships.

Not making any accusations here but noting that one piece of information is a data point. Two pieces of information show a trend. A third piece of information can confirm or break that trend.

By BPD I'm assuming you mean borderline personality disorder DSM-V F31, not bipolar disorder DSM-V F60. If I knew more about it, say as much as you, what should I do with the information? If this is girl is F31 diagnosable, then what? Or maybe you're suggesting I am? If so I'm not offended.

Despite the fact that I'm in the mental health field, I don't believe that discovering the presence of disorders makes them go away. In fact, a case can be made, and has been made by a few of my professors, that diagnosis is on balance a detriment rather than helpful. Theory based interventions, OTOH, can be helpful but they generally have a pretty low success rate, the effects are often somewhat temporary, and they don't work for all individuals.

I'm attracted to hot girls like the one in the pictures above, haha.

I wouldn't say I'm searching for one relationship that results in happily ever after. Although I find the notion of lifetime monogamy charming, and occasionally get caught up in it's pursuit, I find it  to be elusive and think it's likely unnatural for our species (and most every other species).

But Friday night was really fun!

[andrewfi]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

[Contrarian]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

[AvHdB]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

[Contrarian]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

So you don’t think she’s acting like a hooker?

Where does she keep disappearing to?

And he’s only thinking of short term gratification.

[AvHdB]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

So you don’t think she’s acting like a hooker?

Where does she keep disappearing to?

And he’s only thinking of short term gratification.

It is a forum, we all have our opinions and thinking. One would not normally refer to one's spouse, partner or acquaintance with the term hooker.

Worth noting a hooker (hoeker) is the name of a specific type of Dutch & Irish traditional fishing vessel. Better suited for shallow water.

[Contrarian]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

So you don’t think she’s acting like a hooker?

Where does she keep disappearing to?

And he’s only thinking of short term gratification.

It is a forum, we all have our opinions and thinking. One would not normally refer to one's spouse, partner or acquaintance with the term hooker.

Worth noting a hooker is a specific type of Dutch fishing vessel.

Give me a break!

Okay like Andrew said, she’s got stripper glitter all over her coochie

[AvHdB]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

So you don’t think she’s acting like a hooker?

Where does she keep disappearing to?

And he’s only thinking of short term gratification.

It is a forum, we all have our opinions and thinking. One would not normally refer to one's spouse, partner or acquaintance with the term hooker.

Worth noting a hooker is a specific type of Dutch fishing vessel.

Give me a break!

Okay like Andrew said, she’s got stripper glitter all over her coochie

Perhaps the name Dulcinea would be appropriate? 

[Contrarian]

Yeah, the data points do suggest that you had fun.
And this one was ready made. You didn't have to do anything.

Fixed the title. 

Very poor taste. Hopefully as a forum we can rise higher than this.

So you don’t think she’s acting like a hooker?

Where does she keep disappearing to?

And he’s only thinking of short term gratification.

It is a forum, we all have our opinions and thinking. One would not normally refer to one's spouse, partner or acquaintance with the term hooker.

Worth noting a hooker is a specific type of Dutch fishing vessel.

Give me a break!

Okay like Andrew said, she’s got stripper glitter all over her coochie

Perhaps the name Dulcinea would be appropriate? 

LOL! I had to look that up. Our hero does remind me a bit of Don Quixote. I honestly wish him well yet I remain convinced this won’t last and he may end up like moldy; with herpes or worse.

[justadude]

Didn’t hear from her for 36 hours again. But then we went to a car show today and had some fun again after

upload image for free

[justadude]

It was cool having the hottest girl at the show, if not the hottest car🙄
She did tell me what she did the night before, hung out with a girlfriend all night. Some of you guys probably won’t believe that, but I do. And it wasn’t any kind of me questioning her. She just started talking about it and I don’t think she felt like she owed me an explanation either. I told her that I’m going to continue to tell her how I feel about her, that I want to be with her, but advised her to decide what she wants to do for herself. Despite whatever else is going on with her, I do think I see the wheels turning in her head sometimes and I think she’s contemplating making some sort of commitment to me. But at the same time I don’t think it’s super likely that that’s gonna happen. One of her favorite things to do is make jealous statements about texts I get and stuff like that. She likes to accuse me of having another girlfriend. I think it’s at least partially true that she feels that way

[BillyB]

I told her that I’m going to continue to tell her how I feel about her, that I want to be with her, but advised her to decide what she wants to do for herself.

Obviously she wants to be with you once or twice a week with no contact with you in between those days. If you keep pushing for a full time relationship she doesn't want, you will lose her and she'll go find a man that is happy with once or twice a week of sex and who doesn't ask for commitment or put pressure on her.

[msmoby]

Didn’t hear from her for 36 hours again. But then we went to a car show today and had some fun again after

I'm guessing someone else was babysitting .....

[Guile]

nice Porsche dude...how long has this girl been in the states? sounds like she's already got a green card if not citizenship already.

[andrewfi]

Jealousy is a tool of manipulation. That you are misunderstanding what is happening shows that she is better at using those tools than you are at understanding her.

You are being manipulated. This might be a case of the biter but.

Bear in mind you gave already demonstrated what you are willing to give in order to share just a small slice of her time and non of her commitment.
She knows just how little she needs to give to keep you on-side.

She knows how to get what she needs from you. You are needy enough that you'll accept that and normalise it.

Tell your therapist what's going on. You will probably, as long as you are honest, have an interesting conversation.

[AvHdB]

It was cool having the hottest girl at the show, if not the hottest car🙄

What was your score? 

One of her favorite things to do is make jealous statements about texts I get and stuff like that. She likes to accuse me of having another girlfriend. I think it’s at least partially true that she feels that way

Jealousy as you describe is a red flag. It is as Andrew noted an ugly form of manipulation.

Women and cars are in many respects similiar. There is front wheel drive and rear wheel power. Or you can find a 4X4. Anywhere from 2 cylinders to 12. Some are exotic and difficult to drive and others are like a glass of water. Polish the paint and chrome together with changing the fluids is essential if you want a good ride. Well maintained and not abused they give pleasure for a lifetime

Ms. Minsk needs a rotisserie rebuild in my opinion.

[andrewfi]

He probably reckons that the woman was the score.

But I don't think that's what you meant above.

[andrewfi]

Oh, here's an article written a while ago about jealousy in relationships and how it is a primary tool of control within the relationship.

The author was writing with some emphasis upon polyamorous relationships and I nearly set it aside for that reason. I chose not to because while Justadude is not specifically in a polyamorous relationship the woman with whom he is consorting certainly seems to be and thus, by extension so is our hero.

As the focus of the claims of jealousy whether honestly felt by his interlocutor or not he is the object of control and sanction. That's something to take heed of particularly if the feelings are genuine but irrational.

http://Http://pepperminty.com/writing/jealousy.pdf

[Twinky]

I doubt that a condom will provide adequate protection

Yes, better to tie a knot on the outstanding male's part it make much more adequate protection

When I speak of the Russian sense of the word greedy, I mean that the meaning for Russian speakers seems to include the idea of being selfish, not will to share what one has - money, food, time etc.

In the English usage, greedy is about taking more than one's share of a resource.

too greed for hot girls means прелюбодей