Three Weeks with a Belarussian Princess in California

[justadude]

I met a beautiful Belarussian girl  3 weeks ago. She has 2 kids. Everyone spent the weekend last weekend. Alas, it looks like things won't continue. She's still an angel, though. I wonder how much it hurt when she fell from the sky. She's 20 years younger than me, 11" shorter, and every bit as attractive as she looks in these pictures. Smokes a little, super sexy accent, cute and hot at the same time. Has had a tough go of things, having been married to a Ukrainian ahole here in California.

[Lord of the Dance]

Haven't heard from you in a while JAD, thanks for checking in with us.

You say things won't continue... why? Hopefully you didn't dump her off your tractor bucket by accident! 

[AvHdB]

Just a Dude, If the car is hers I would consider keeping her as well.

Anyways how are things on the West Coast?

Feel free to share more details, the peanut galley is alive and well.

[Guile]

Nice lady! but what happened this time? did you make it to Ukraine or did the quarantine hit before then.

[justadude]

I perceived that she didn’t want to continue. However she came over last night with the boys and just left an hour ago. We’ve been kicking around the idea of buying a house that would be better than the place I have now and we looked at a couple today. Crazy to talk this serious 3 weeks in, especially considering that she falls off the grid for 24 hours once a week. She and the boys met my Mom  Today.
She’s so attractive and she’s a real sweetheart too. And the boys are cool little guys. I’ll check in with an update in a day or two.

[Guile]

dude 3 weeks and talking about living together? that is fassst...what's the rush. and if she's 20 yrs younger than you she's early 20's right..

if she is already in the states there's no worry about K1 visas. I'd give it more time.

[Dogsoldier]

I perceived that she didn’t want to continue. However she came over last night with the boys and just left an hour ago. We’ve been kicking around the idea of buying a house that would be better than the place I have now and we looked at a couple today. Crazy to talk this serious 3 weeks in, especially considering that she falls off the grid for 24 hours once a week. She and the boys met my Mom  Today.
She’s so attractive and she’s a real sweetheart too. And the boys are cool little guys. I’ll check in with an update in a day or two.

How old are the boys and what’s with the 24hr absence?

[BillyB]

How long she been separated from her husband? Are they divorced?

[justadude]

Yes I completely agree it's a rush to live together so soon. And, buying a house in a pandemic market presents additional risk. then again, why do I have money if not to use it to make my life better? Living with her would be better than living with my two dogs, although they are pretty cute, haha. I'll only buy a house that I would live in by myself, or that I perceive is a good investment, again acknowledging that times are pretty crazy now.

I'm actually in my mid 50s and she's mid 30s. Boys are 8 and 11. They are a bit of a handful and I am trying to be a positive, calming influence in their lives. I guess I want to get a nice place for us partly because she has had such a rough go of it. My understanding is that she was a very dedicated wife but that he had major addiction issues, beat her and cheated. She stood by him for a long time until the last item on that list occurred. The pastor of the church kept telling her that last one would be the only reason she could leave.

Listening to her story and being with her, and with the other FSU women I've been with, I'm getting a bit more philosophical about them. I think they enthusiastically seek a man, and stand by their husbands as a survival instinct. In the harshness of 20th century Russia, and with a lack of earning capability, what's my best bet for survival? To be pretty and attach myself to a strong man. If he mistreats me, I'm still more likely to survive, and so are my children, if I stay with him.

These girls can easily say out loud that they would rather be in a relationship than not, unlike California girls who seem to be comfortable saying that they are fine alone, but if the right guy comes along they will consider it. And, to some extent, they are right, as they can earn as much or nearly as much as a man, and can even raise children on their own.

If there is any truth to my observations, they would likely be changing as women in places like Kiev and Kharkov can earn a pretty good living on their own, like the girl from my last K1 disaster. But she was still quite open about the fact that she wanted a man. And, she had also been physically abused by her ex.

As for her going off grid for a day, It's something I've learned I need to deal with. I try not to be needy, and if I don't hear from her I tend to wait it out. Having said that, she has made some jealous statements, worrying if I'm seeing other girls. I have stated in no uncertain terms that I have all my eggs in her basket, if you'll forgive the unfortunate metaphor, haha, without asking the same of her. I told how I feel and also told her that she can decide what she wants to do. I expect loyalty, for sure. And I think I'm discerning enough to know whether I'm getting that.

Meanwhile, related to her job she has guys texting her and hitting on her all the time. I don't like it but neither do I reveal any jealousy, as I don't think it's a good look. I can easily admit to myself that I'm insecure, but I learned not to show up as insecure with a pretty girl when I was in my 20s. I think I have that figured out.

We have talked about both of our ex's and other stuff. She knows I have a past as well.  Before I pull the trigger on a house, of course we will need to have a longer talk.

[AvHdB]

Before I pull the trigger on a house, of course we will need to have a longer talk.

Your assessments and observations are accurate in my opinion. Before pulling any trigger, I would spend some more serious time together.

I suspect allot will depend on the 'boys' and can you handle that coming storm.

[Steveboy]

Yes I completely agree it's a rush to live together so soon. And, buying a house in a pandemic market presents additional risk. then again, why do I have money if not to use it to make my life better? Living with her would be better than living with my two dogs, although they are pretty cute, haha. I'll only buy a house that I would live in by myself, or that I perceive is a good investment, again acknowledging that times are pretty crazy now.

I'm actually in my mid 50s and she's mid 30s. Boys are 8 and 11. They are a bit of a handful and I am trying to be a positive, calming influence in their lives. I guess I want to get a nice place for us partly because she has had such a rough go of it. My understanding is that she was a very dedicated wife but that he had major addiction issues, beat her and cheated. She stood by him for a long time until the last item on that list occurred. The pastor of the church kept telling her that last one would be the only reason she could leave.

Listening to her story and being with her, and with the other FSU women I've been with, I'm getting a bit more philosophical about them. I think they enthusiastically seek a man, and stand by their husbands as a survival instinct. In the harshness of 20th century Russia, and with a lack of earning capability, what's my best bet for survival? To be pretty and attach myself to a strong man. If he mistreats me, I'm still more likely to survive, and so are my children, if I stay with him.

These girls can easily say out loud that they would rather be in a relationship than not, unlike California girls who seem to be comfortable saying that they are fine alone, but if the right guy comes along they will consider it. And, to some extent, they are right, as they can earn as much or nearly as much as a man, and can even raise children on their own.

If there is any truth to my observations, they would likely be changing as women in places like Kiev and Kharkov can earn a pretty good living on their own, like the girl from my last K1 disaster. But she was still quite open about the fact that she wanted a man. And, she had also been physically abused by her ex.

As for her going off grid for a day, It's something I've learned I need to deal with. I try not to be needy, and if I don't hear from her I tend to wait it out. Having said that, she has made some jealous statements, worrying if I'm seeing other girls. I have stated in no uncertain terms that I have all my eggs in her basket, if you'll forgive the unfortunate metaphor, haha, without asking the same of her. I told how I feel and also told her that she can decide what she wants to do. I expect loyalty, for sure. And I think I'm discerning enough to know whether I'm getting that.

Meanwhile, related to her job she has guys texting her and hitting on her all the time. I don't like it but neither do I reveal any jealousy, as I don't think it's a good look. I can easily admit to myself that I'm insecure, but I learned not to show up as insecure with a pretty girl when I was in my 20s. I think I have that figured out.

We have talked about both of our ex's and other stuff. She knows I have a past as well.  Before I pull the trigger on a house, of course we will need to have a longer talk.

In the harshness of 20th century Russia, and with a lack of earning capability, what's my best bet for survival? To be pretty and attach myself to a strong man. If he mistreats me, I'm still more likely to survive, and so are my children, if I stay with him.

If he mistreats me, I'm still more likely to survive, and so are my children, if I stay with him

Absolutely clueless..

[Steveboy]

Not so long ago it was "Three weeks with a princess in Ukraine" Now the same story but in the USA..I guess the sob story will be in how many weeks?

And you'r planning to marry this one after what? wait for it! 3 weeks??

In the meantime you have figured out Russian women are perfectly happy to stay with a guy who beats here because it gives her security..

Have you ever thought about going for a psychological evaluation of yourself? I highly recommend it!

[andrewfi]

Just how much self esteem can a guy have to accept such a crappy arrangement, or even to suggest it.

No therapist me, but that seems to be just one more data point on the case for getting some serious talking therapy and not getting into any relationships until these major issues are dealt with.

[justadude]

Things are cruising along. She and the boys came Friday night and left just a few minutes ago. Me and the boys picked up a free garden tractor yesterday. We spent a few hours putting on a new drive belt then they drove it around for a while. We are planning to modify it into  sort of a go cart with low seating and extended wheelbase. They are a challenge for me but I am helping my gf with them, setting rules and having consequences for undesirable behavior. And lots of positive encouragement. They are good little guys.

Meanwhile she was in full on Belarussian house wife mode, cooking and cleaning, and looking amazing. I know it's shallow, but I like being seen with her, and the boys, when we go to the hardware store and open air market and stuff.

As for me and her, we talked about nuts and bolts of her moving into my place and then how some next steps would look, like buying a place and finances, if we can make it work. She is wary of men, having been let down many times in the past. I'm a lot different than other dudes she has been with, no addictions, never done time, property owner, stable career, no debt. I also told her I'm probably not as exciting as those other guys.

While we were all driving in the Porsche yesterday, I talked to her ex husband, who tried to help me diagnose a noise issue with the new head unit I put in the dash. He seems like a cool enough dude at this point, although I know he did some really bad things to her in the past. But it's good that they are friendly to each other now.

[Lord of the Dance]

Me and the boys picked up a free garden tractor yesterday. We spent a few hours putting on a new drive belt then they drove it around for a while. We are planning to modify it into  sort of a go cart with low seating and extended wheelbase.

It wasn't by-chance a Wheelhorse, was it? I've been looking for one of those puppies (as a restoration project) for some time now.

As for me and her, we talked about nuts and bolts of her moving into my place and then how some next steps would look, like buying a place and finances, if we can make it work. She is wary of men, having been let down many times in the past. I'm a lot different than other dudes she has been with, no addictions, never done time, property owner, stable career, no debt. I also told her I'm probably not as exciting as those other guys.

While we were all driving in the Porsche yesterday, I talked to her ex husband, who tried to help me diagnose a noise issue with the new head unit I put in the dash. He seems like a cool enough dude at this point, although I know he did some really bad things to her in the past. But it's good that they are friendly to each other now.

Remember that there's nothing wrong with taking it slow. If she is wary of men / relationships as you say she is, I would expect her to want to take it slow anyway. And not to trouble trouble, but if her ex is prone to violence I wouldn't be associating with him at all. If your relationship develops and the ex gets jealous, you may need to defend yourself (& your new family) from attack.

Wishing you better success this time around! Please continue to keep us updated.

[justadude]

Thanks LOTD. No, it's just a 2000ish Craftsman 25hp garden tractor. I already started modifying it into a kinda mini T bucket look. I moved the front axle out in front and reconfiguring seating so you sit basically on the floorboard. What is a wheelhorse? How many tractors do you have? That little kubota in the other picture is pretty cool. It's a 40 year old B6000 with an 11hp two cylinder diesel and aftermarket bucket and scraper. I mainly use it for clearing snow. Have you made any trips to the FSU yet?

[Guile]

hey justadude, how long has that girl been in the states? did you find her on a Russian specific site or just so happened that she was from the FSU. hope this one works out man.

[andrewfi]

If hubby is giving her any money he is going to be the bestest salesman he can be until he unloads her onto you.

[Steveboy]

I saw a movie like this once.. hubby sent the wife to trick the guy into being a muppet and falling in love in 20.34 minutes.. a few months later when he was sleeping the girl slit his throat and buggered off with a load of money, that was before disposing of his body in the bath with acid..


Sleep with one eye open if I was you


https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-38728777  Happens all the time more so in the US where the husband is also around and the women gives sob story about how he beat her..

[Manny]

I’m curious about her going off grid a day a week. Maybe a second job?

[andrewfi]

I’m curious about her going off grid a day a week. Maybe a second job?

Maybe take a look at her shoe collection, or perhaps a trace of glitter in the oddest places.

[AvHdB]

I would spend some more serious time together.

The presence of the father and ex is a challenge and one that I would be careful of. There are so many things that you do not know.

Spending time together is essential. One assumes there is no other family around. What are her friends like? If you can organize a meeting with her confessor (priest) you might have greater insight.

Take your time.

[Lord of the Dance]

Thanks LOTD. No, it's just a 2000ish Craftsman 25hp garden tractor. I already started modifying it into a kinda mini T bucket look. I moved the front axle out in front and reconfiguring seating so you sit basically on the floorboard. What is a wheelhorse? How many tractors do you have? That little kubota in the other picture is pretty cool. It's a 40 year old B6000 with an 11hp two cylinder diesel and aftermarket bucket and scraper. I mainly use it for clearing snow. Have you made any trips to the FSU yet?

Wheelhorses are those miniature crop tractors that are in the 12 - 20 HP range... a relic of the by-gone self-gardener era, really. I have a small collection of tractors: a Farmall 240, a couple of Cub Cadets, a Kubota B2100 (that, likewise, I use for clearing snow). I've been spoiled recently by a newly-acquired CAT 242 skidloader (it'll lift about 2500lbs, which is better than the Kubota when it comes to moving heavy cannon / mortar barrels, etc.).

As of yet, no trips. Some major projects going on at the moment, including helping to re-build my parents' place after a nasty house fire broke out last October, restoring a place of my own that I'll be moving into soon, building a kit airplane, getting in better shape, blah blah blah. But I'm closer to making a trip today than I was yesterday.

Good luck with this woman you're currently dating... I'll reiterate what I said before: take it slow and be cautious around the ex. I think it's great that you're showing an interest in her kids, get them into the garage and away from all the crap that kids get caught up in nowadays.   

[justadude]

OK the naysayers were right. Turns out hubby was a Russian mobster. They stole my identity, drained my bank account, and title to my houses. It was hell, but the worst part was having my heart broken.

[justadude]

OK just kidding. But it does appear that it's over now. The last time I saw her was 4 days ago, and it was super fun as usual. We were going to hang out last night but she canceled. I haven't heard from her since last night. As stated before, I don't send a bunch of texts and try not to come across as needy. On the other hand, I've made my interest in her clear. As trite as it sounds, and I'll admit I'm probably trying to make myself feel better about being rejected, It was a great 5 weeks and I'm thankful for the experience.

Also, here's a fun fact for those who say I need therapy. I'm 3 months away from a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy, and I've logged 400+ hours providing face to face therapy to individuals and couples over the last year. My favorite type of client? Dudes that struggle in their relationships with women, of course! And it turns out that you can help others, from time to time, even if you have your own issues. In fact, most of my colleagues seem to be drawn to this profession because of their own journey.