Inglehart values map

[Olga_Mouse]

First of all – sorry for my English, that became much worse during the last 10 years (while I’m using mainly mainly German, seldom French and Spanish).
A while ago I’ve been watching a sociology lecture on YouTube, and came upon a so-called “Inglehart values map”.
In the light of this study, I would like to share my observations and thoughts about contacting German / Austrian men.
Men were willing to meet a woman who:
Case 1: would enjoy watching films (horror, sci-fi) with him;
Case 2: would enjoy dancing salsa + riding a bicycle with him;
Case 3: would enjoy riding a bike + shooting (pistol and rifle, small caliber and large caliber!!) with him.

Considering that on the “Inglehart values map” Germany is located far enough on the scale of "self-expression", it can be assumed that these men were willing to find a woman who would share with them the activities that are important / crucial for them.

However - though in their profiles they declared they are looking for long-term relationships, and might even consider marriage - they were not willing to discuss such aspects as owning an apartment vs. renting, medical insurance (generally the employees have insurances that allow adding their spouse without additional payment; private entrepreneurs don’t have such option), sharing of house chores, etc. And often labeled a woman asking such questions as “looking for profit” or “too materialistic”.

In brief, though these men declared that they are looking for long-term relationship and even marriage, they were mainly looking for someone to share their hobbies – but not their everyday (= basic, =boring) lives & worries.

It might partially be due to the fact that in Austria & Germany the State is seen as “supportive” – not as “expropriating”, and the perception of state institutions in general is rather positive than negative.

In Russia the “survival” values are more important; the State as such is regarded as an omni-present, powerful and dangerous enemy; and people (both males and females) are rather looking for a partner to stand back-to-back and to increase the survival chances by protecting just 180 degrees rather than the full circle.

Typical Russian value systems puts survival first; existential comfort (including the “roof over the head”, which is seen mainly as man’s responsibility, as well as “hearth” that is mainly seen as a women’s responsibility) second; and hobbies – as third (or fourth, or fifth - for those who have children & elderly parents to care about) on that list.

Thus a Slavic / post-Soviet woman will most likely perceive a man, who avoids discussing values #1 and #2 on her list - while paying too much attention to something as unimportant as hobbies! - as immature / irresponsible / childish.

Where is your homecountry located on that map - and do you agree with such positioning?

[Markje]

I'd like to think that Netherlands is like Germany.

We have an extensive social-state, so things like housing / income are all but taken care of.

Basic roof-over-the-head is there, as well as minimum amount of food to exist.

Plus in Dutch culture dating is considered to be about hobbies and common values first. And then when things get more serious so do the topics (finance, health, etc.).

I'd say that most dutch-born would think a woman that starts on finance in the beginning of dating, as going too fast or "somethings wrong, she needs a husband so fast, better skip over this one."

Also because most Dutch women have their own life well-established by age 30 and do not need a husband for financial or "survival" security.

[Olga_Mouse]

I'd say that most dutch-born would think a woman that starts on finance in the beginning of dating, as going too fast or "somethings wrong, she needs a husband so fast, better skip over this one."

Well, what about "converse in reverse" (advised in Manny's book), then? 

[Markje]

I'd say that most dutch-born would think a woman that starts on finance in the beginning of dating, as going too fast or "somethings wrong, she needs a husband so fast, better skip over this one."

Well, what about "converse in reverse" (advised in Manny's book), then? 

Dunno, I don't remember the book and my copy is at least 10 years old

I'd say go with common sense. You could bring up a topic once and see how they react.

[Twinky]

You could bring up a topic once and see how they react.

Yes, usually woman search better life with man and if it round all only about hobbies all the time so better to quite off with such man, he is occasionally search woman abroad. In good relationships it doesn't have to be a hobbie's coincidence. I doesnt have to be like 4X4 race and he doesn't have to like knit .

[Olga_Mouse]

Yes, usually woman search better life with man and if it round all only about hobbies all the time so better to quite off with such man,

I am not talking about "better life with a man" in the terms of "man paying for everything". Rather about the different interaction levels in terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs (see attached).

A woman looking for a partner expects (?) him to close the "2nd level gap" (security) for her. However a man looking for a woman is trying to fill by that communication the gaps on levels 3-4, without getting deeper.