First of all – sorry for my English, that became much worse during the last 10 years (while I’m using mainly mainly German, seldom French and Spanish).
A while ago I’ve been watching a sociology lecture on YouTube, and came upon a so-called “Inglehart values map”.
In the light of this study, I would like to share my observations and thoughts about contacting German / Austrian men.
Men were willing to meet a woman who:
Case 1: would enjoy watching films (horror, sci-fi) with him;
Case 2: would enjoy dancing salsa + riding a bicycle with him;
Case 3: would enjoy riding a bike + shooting (pistol and rifle, small caliber and large caliber!!) with him.
Considering that on the “Inglehart values map” Germany is located far enough on the scale of "self-expression", it can be assumed that these men were willing to find a woman who would share with them the activities that are important / crucial for them.
However - though in their profiles they declared they are looking for long-term relationships, and might even consider marriage - they were not willing to discuss such aspects as owning an apartment vs. renting, medical insurance (generally the employees have insurances that allow adding their spouse without additional payment; private entrepreneurs don’t have such option), sharing of house chores, etc. And often labeled a woman asking such questions as “looking for profit” or “too materialistic”.
In brief, though these men declared that they are looking for long-term relationship and even marriage, they were mainly looking for someone to share their hobbies – but not their everyday (= basic, =boring) lives & worries.
It might partially be due to the fact that in Austria & Germany the State is seen as “supportive” – not as “expropriating”, and the perception of state institutions in general is rather positive than negative.
In Russia the “survival” values are more important; the State as such is regarded as an omni-present, powerful and dangerous enemy; and people (both males and females) are rather looking for a partner to stand back-to-back and to increase the survival chances by protecting just 180 degrees rather than the full circle.
Typical Russian value systems puts survival first; existential comfort (including the “roof over the head”, which is seen mainly as man’s responsibility, as well as “hearth” that is mainly seen as a women’s responsibility) second; and hobbies – as third (or fourth, or fifth - for those who have children & elderly parents to care about) on that list.
Thus a Slavic / post-Soviet woman will most likely perceive a man, who avoids discussing values #1 and #2 on her list - while paying too much attention to something as unimportant as hobbies! - as immature / irresponsible / childish.
Where is your homecountry located on that map - and do you agree with such positioning?