Hello from London

[Beowulf]

Hi, I'm 46, divorced and my travels have taken me to Minsk, Kiev, Odessa, Moscow and St Petersburg.

My marriage was to a Russia lady, it was all amazing until the day after the wedding.... long story... she had been in the UK for a while though. Strangely again I have met another Russian girl.... a few alarm bells are ringing, I just thought here might be somewhere I can post and get feedback. I think I can contribute to from my own experiences of meeting different types of girls.

My intention is to find a committed relationship and I still think I might like to be a father. I will finish there and see if anyone is out there!

[msmoby]

Hello Beowulf

Welcome to this forum

I'm sure you'll get plenty of 'feedback' - much of it from guys who aren't from the UK - or if they are - have never been married to a RW


Are you prepared to share the 'long story' and tell us about the 'red flags' with your latest Russian lass ?

You're going to be asked about age differences and all sorts - are you ready ?

[AvHdB]

Welcome to RUA!

There is an expression "Once bitten, twice shy." It does not seem to apply to you.  There is enough wisdom here that we can help, ask questions and you will hear opinions.

[Manny]

Welcome to the site. 

The good folk here will certainly be interested in the tale. And in terms of the new woman, contrary to what Moby says above, there is a wealth of experience here.

[Contrarian]

Hi, I'm 46, divorced and my travels have taken me to Minsk, Kiev, Odessa, Moscow and St Petersburg.

My marriage was to a Russia lady, it was all amazing until the day after the wedding.... long story... she had been in the UK for a while though. Strangely again I have met another Russian girl.... a few alarm bells are ringing,

What happened with the first one? Long story you say? We have time! 

Welcome.

[msmoby]

in terms of the new woman, contrary to what Moby says above, there is a wealth of experience here.

You mean the likes of andrewfi, cornfed and other chaps in 'long term relationships?'...

[rosco]

Welcome to the site and needless to say, I'm more than interested to hear your story! 

[rosco]

in terms of the new woman, contrary to what Moby says above, there is a wealth of experience here.

You mean the likes of andrewfi, cornfed and other chaps in 'long term relationships?'...

Moby, please try to only pollute your own threads. Consider it a fresh start.......

[Wiz]

Hello Beowulf

from Surrey and welcome to the forum.

We are all interested to hear new members and their experiences in their adventure to find a wife and a partner for life.

Look forward to read your posts.

[Contrarian]

in terms of the new woman, contrary to what Moby says above, there is a wealth of experience here.

You mean the likes of andrewfi, confederate and other chaps in 'long term relationships?'...

I’m only here to read his story and welcome him to the forum, is that okay with you?

[Dogsoldier]

Welcome to the forum.

Oh, and ignore Moby. He’s a complete tool, full of fibs and fantasy friends.

[AvHdB]

Hopefully you will continue to post and share your story with the forum. There are many members who are knowledgeable and who's opinions you should consider. Some of us have a dislike for other members but do not let that get in the way.

Curious was your former wife named Grendel?

[Beowulf]

Blimey, I just remembered posting on this forum, and wondered if anyone had replied, thank you for the welcome all of you. So I will write a bit more here and let me know if I should post in another thread.

The lady I married, I met her age 39, she was a great beauty, but not in an obvious way.. She was just so cultured, educated, funny, but I saw something was sort of missing inside her as she would say things like "I often think it is more important a man can take care of me than that I love him"...  After six months we were engaged and married within the year... I had never moved so fast.  As we dated, she just told me non stop stories of how rich her ex's were, and she could not stop talking about how beautiful she was... I started to feel ground down, I am a normal hard working guy, running my own business, employ a few people, can take trips abroad, but she was grinding me down with this rich man talk.

Long story short, she got me to feel very, very sorry for her when I tried to pull away. She said she had learnt her lessons and found religion. She was she said desperate to be a good wife, and have a chance of family. After the wedding that materialistic streak turned into something else far more greedy, and it was non stop complaining... I bought us a house to try and calm her down, but the complaining was non stop. Actually I could have handled that but she was so cold to me - I absolutely loved her, and it hurt a lot when I would just ask her to sit with me, eat with me, but she would leave me alone..

The events that followed got much worse, but I did it, I got the divorce and escaped.. but things got really bad.

I don't date for 3 years. Then bored of nothing happening with the online dating, I looked overseas, I am 46 and I have met a girl who is 29. The reason I thought she totally different is she is not so totally beautiful as my ex wife, but very pretty, but very down to earth, she has no interest in brands and shopping. We have had two holidays where I have flown out to see her, and flown her to meet me somewhere. From the first day she talked about wanting children, etc, I guess they are deep held dreams of mine she was tapping into ... but I have a bewildering mass of whatsapp messages, where she keeps telling me she loves me... At first I thought this is my reward for going through that divorce...but I don't like how she is sending photos of herself non stop rather than just talking to me on a deeper level...

So I feel like wow this could be a chance to settle down, but this doesnt feel like it has a lot of emotional depth to it. She lived in the UK previously and her ex apparently had a break down, I would like to know the story behind that...

[msmoby]

I married a woman who was too desperate to have kids - we had thermometers on hand during the flipping honeymoon .. 

Take it easy - or repent at leisure

[Contrarian]

Blimey, I just remembered posting on this forum, and wondered if anyone had replied, thank you for the welcome all of you. So I will write a bit more here and let me know if I should post in another thread.

The lady I married, I met her age 39, she was a great beauty, but not in an obvious way.. She was just so cultured, educated, funny, but I saw something was sort of missing inside her as she would say things like "I often think it is more important a man can take care of me than that I love him"...  After six months we were engaged and married within the year... I had never moved so fast.  As we dated, she just told me non stop stories of how rich her ex's were, and she could not stop talking about how beautiful she was... I started to feel ground down, I am a normal hard working guy, running my own business, employ a few people, can take trips abroad, but she was grinding me down with this rich man talk.

Long story short, she got me to feel very, very sorry for her when I tried to pull away. She said she had learnt her lessons and found religion. She was she said desperate to be a good wife, and have a chance of family. After the wedding that materialistic streak turned into something else far more greedy, and it was non stop complaining... I bought us a house to try and calm her down, but the complaining was non stop. Actually I could have handled that but she was so cold to me - I absolutely loved her, and it hurt a lot when I would just ask her to sit with me, eat with me, but she would leave me alone..

The events that followed got much worse, but I did it, I got the divorce and escaped.. but things got really bad.

I don't date for 3 years. Then bored of nothing happening with the online dating, I looked overseas, I am 46 and I have met a girl who is 29. The reason I thought she totally different is she is not so totally beautiful as my ex wife, but very pretty, but very down to earth, she has no interest in brands and shopping. We have had two holidays where I have flown out to see her, and flown her to meet me somewhere. From the first day she talked about wanting children, etc, I guess they are deep held dreams of mine she was tapping into ... but I have a bewildering mass of whatsapp messages, where she keeps telling me she loves me... At first I thought this is my reward for going through that divorce...but I don't like how she is sending photos of herself non stop rather than just talking to me on a deeper level...

So I feel like wow this could be a chance to settle down, but this doesnt feel like it has a lot of emotional depth to it. She lived in the UK previously and her ex apparently had a break down, I would like to know the story behind that...

I won’t comment on the current GF, insufficient info and others with successful experience can.

On that first wife clearly you’re relieved to be divorced. Not sure why such a high percentage of FSU women in the West are psychotic gold diggers.

Tell ‘em you prefer to rent gold diggers by the hour. That ought to keep them away. 

[Wiz]

You managed to escape from the first wife...... don't make a second mistake.

They say: if you feel it's not right than most probably it is not.......better to "run forest run".......to be on the safe side.

There is always plenty of fish in the sea!

[Beowulf]

Thanks for the feedback.. much appreciated.. basically this new girlfriend would like to visit UK and live with me for a while.. I just think it is all too rushed. In the country she is living in (not Russia) she works casual jobs, hostess type work...

The divorce was bad, because once I put it through, and made her a generous payment, she followed me outside my home and work for 15 months... the combination of disinterest, and then the following around and the crying was hugely confusing. Left me with a lot of guilt - had she learnt her lesson? etc

I think to some extent I fell in love with her culture I don't know if others can relate. Her family were so warm too me, I absolutely loved it there... During the marriage I got the whole "my father is sick, I think if you don't give him a job he can die"... and I saw I was in real trouble..

The day after the wedding all that warmth vanished and the father was visibly angry about something, and kept muttering "she could have had a rich man, a powerful man"... it was like all the warmth and love was only manipulation, once I left again I got beautiful letters written to me begging me to reconsider.

I don't think I want to invite this girl to the UK and have a sudden pregnancy do I... thanks for the feedback..

[Manny]

What sort of ‘hostess work’?

[Contrarian]

What sort of ‘hostess work’?

 

[Beowulf]

Just like welcoming people into restaurants, say hello at casinos... but she has a masters in engineering..
says life in Russia is just not worth going back to..

[rosco]

Your first experience sounds harrowing and unfortunately there's one too many of this type. I don't think you did anything wrong other than not being hard enough and putting your foot down at the red flags. All easy to say with hindsight and even harder to call when you're in the middle of it. The heart can make you do silly things....

The current one? Well I don't know enough to give you any credible advice other than stay true to your instincts. Maybe the last one left marks and you're super cautious who knows but if I were you, I'd be honest with myself and be fully prepared to walkaway if its not right.

There are always more women out there looking for love and sometimes you need to be tough to make sure its right for you. Tell her about your concerns and if she becomes aggressive or problematic, then she's given you the answers.

[Beowulf]

Thanks all for feedback, you could see why now I am as the Russians say someone "who blows on cold milk"
Thanks for the welcome and I look forward to  being a member...

[wanderwall]

I'm new here as well, but welcome and good luck!

[Ангелина1234Т]

I'm sorry you had such a sad first experience. this is very sad and hurtful. But this is experience.
We need to value it and avoid past mistakes.
I agree. You must always be true to yourself and listen to your instincts. Be true to yourself. Yours will always find you.