Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU > Dating in the FSU and Other Countries

What to do?

(1/4) > >>

delmar:
Hello All,
 I just spent two weeks with a girl I had been corresponding with for a year. We lived together for those two weeks in an apartment in Kiev. I found her to be a very nice woman, she cooked for me all the time, she was very nice to me, and in no way was a gold digger or just wanted me to buy her things. Here is my problem. Aside from locking arms in the streets, an an occasional massage. It was apparent that she was not comfortable with any type of intamacy. When I asked her about this, she said she needed more time, and could not "fake" this feeling. So, after the two weeks i was kind of frustrated with this, and was wondering If I should continue relations with her.
 Note*  She did state that she still wanted relations with me, and that she sees me as a good man and her future husband, but she has yet to prove it. Does anyone think that this is a sign to move on to someone more interested?
Would the lack of intimacy in 2 weeks time together make anyone suspicious that she wasnt sincere about me?
Thanks

ECR844:
"Delmar,"

  Welcome to the board!

I hope you had fun on your trip and it sounds as if you met a sincere lady who genuinely cares for you. It is extremely hard for us to give you accurate, advice with the little that you have posted. I understand about the need for privacy, etc.., but there are so many variables involved that make it hard to get an 'accurate read' on things, and give you solid advice.

    I will however say the following.It has been my personal experience that RW are very honest and upfront about stuff like this and she sounds like she was sincere, and spoke honestly with you about her feelings on the matter. Because this is such a personal experience and there are so many different paths in this pursuit that can lead to success. I would suggest reading the many trip reports and threads here. Also, there is a wealth of experience on this board with many members who are farther along in this process than I. Perhaps they will be able to provide you with some more accurate insight than I can.

Best wishes,
ECR844 

Paul:
Delmar, after reading through your previous posts, I'm a bit confused. Was this your first in person meeting with this woman?  How well were you able to communicate with each other,... how well does she speak English? What is the difference in your ages?

You do understand that you are asking for life altering advice from people on the Internet don't you?


--- Quote from: delmar ---Note*  She did state that she still wanted relations with me, and that she sees me as a good man and her future husband, but she has yet to prove it.
--- End quote ---

 :scared0005: Never judge how much a woman loves or doesn't love you on how fast she  jumps in the sack with you.

delmar:
Day Dreamer,
  Yes, I have met this woman before through a marriage agency. It was a very brief meeting over tea. She knows very little english and me very little russian. We did use a translator on some days but for the most part we did without and we did pretty well with the help of a phrase book and body language. This was the firs substantial meeting we had. As far as the age difference she is 24 and I just turned 38.
Also, "jumping in the sack" is not the question here. There are many ways to show intimacy without having sex. Kissing, hugging, touching... etc. She did not seem comfortable with these things, almost nervous. We do like each other, so I dont see anything to lose in continuing correspondence, and going to see her again. I would have just like to see more "signs" that she was attracted to me is all.

Paul:
This is a tough one Delmar, there could be a thousand reasons why she hasn't shown too much intimacy.


--- Quote from: delmar ---It was apparent that she was not comfortable with any type of intamacy. When I asked her about this, she said she needed more time, and could not "fake" this feeling.
--- End quote ---

This could be due to needing the use of a translator and phrase book to communicate. I have never been in a relationship with someone who did not speak English fluently, so I can only imagine that it might take a little longer to develop strong feelings for someone who it was difficult to communicate with. The 14 year age difference might have something to do with it, but I think it is more likely the language barrier.

As ECR844  said, there are other members here who are father along in the process (and probably a few who have been in very similar situations), hopefully they will chime in on this soon.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page