What do you think she's looking for?

[htrj]

So, here i go again. Ive bumped into another Russian girl on the continent.

This time she's 10 years younger than me, and I think she is very pretty indeed, well out of my league by my passed history a home. She has a kid. I would say shes more determined, or tenacious, than she is bright but she seems well educated and she is very well mannered. Moreso than other Russian girls ive dated recently.

She is shifty though..... She seems to think nothing of driving around without a license, I read somewhere that she had some involvement in athletics doping at an Olympic level  and she seems to be able to support a pretty good lifestyle without seeming to work too hard for it. She does something up in Norway for few weeks and then doesnt have to work for months afterwards.

At the moment i dont know if this relationship has legs. She appears so independent she doesnt really want a man, but she must have other boyfriend's and little things make me think she is actually looking for something very serious. For instance, the first date with me she brought the kid with her...... What a great way for her to test a guys mettle.........

So what do you reckon? For me, this could just become a case study into the lives of Russias more affluent young women or it could lead me to a much happier place indeed.

[AvHdB]

You will only find the answers to your questions if you spend more time with her.

As a suggestion what is the child like? Kind and good spirited or nasty piece of work? Would you want to be the father? In my opinion it is a positive sign that she came with her sproglet.

Does she discuss her parents?

Based on the Norwegian observations she perhaps is involved in either skating most likely speed or cross country skiing. Both sports have seen a fair bit of doping across the entire spectrum. There are some databases that you can check to see if she is able to compete or coach.

[htrj]

One of the reasons im consulating you guys is that i cant spend more time with her for the next few months. She taken the boy to see Babushka for the summer holidays. I did wonder about meeting her in St Pete or a visa friendly part of Europe but if my hunch is right i dont want to go down that road with her yet. Shes got other guys to whisk her off for a weekends roll in the hay and, as much fun as that sounds, I dont want her to see me as just another one of those guys.

She does talk about her Mum, Dad and her brother and her boy is sweet. Hes a bit insular in the way only children can be but he is happy and well behaved and i think shes bringing him up quite well. Personally, im glad she brought him with her that night. Id say its a sign shes serious, if she was on the take he could ruin her chances and if a guy was just trying to take advantage of her the kid should send them running. So, i saw it as positive too.

This is just going to be a guessing game until she gets back, isn't it?

[AvHdB]

Yes is my guess. I think you will need some napkins for about 8 weeks.

I would keep in contact with her and say when she returns to your neck of the woods that you would like to spend more time with her and her son. Bear in mind for Slavic women this summer holiday is important.

[msmoby]

You need to listen to your 'big brain', matey.

This is a lady looking to be looked after and playing the field

[andrewfi]

Why piss about with such foolishness?

Are you really that lonely? That stupid?

This is not about her, but about you and nothing else matters.

This is a woman who, if you (and she) are to be believed has a moral compass that is rather incompatible with normal life in a western, civilised, society. How are you going to live with such a person? Do you want to take such a person into the heart of your life?

If you do find that what you think you know about her is compatible with your own moral standards then, go for it - but then you'd not have mentioned those points about her if that were true - they'd have seemed so normal, so mundane, that mentioning them would be pointless.

So, if you want to build a relationship with a person who is routinely dishonest, happy to be involved with corruption and intrigue, then go for it. Have a life as unhappy as you might reasonably expect.

Or get on with life, stop being silly, and look for a person, from your own peer group who matches your own moral and ethical standards.

[htrj]

Dont worry Moby, "big brain" is still functioning. I realise I could be playing with fire but I cant help but find her "activities" intringuing. Im not desperate to be in a relationship with her and I wont loose any sleep if she never returns from Mom and Dads but I cant help wondering why the other guys she meets arent doing it for her. What am I doing that she likes? I know I can make her laugh, which we all know is helpful, but does she really see something in me that the others don't have?

The optimist in me wonders, does a FSU single Mum approaching 30 want to be a party girl forever or does she really want to grow up a bit and find some stability in her life? Bringing the kid with her suggests to me she is trying to be realistic with prospective suitors. If she was really dishonest she'd keep him hidden until "little brain" had started to work overtime.

[msmoby]

Dont worry Moby, "big brain" is still functioning. I realise I could be playing with fire but I cant help but find her "activities" intringuing. Im not desperate to be in a relationship with her and I wont loose any sleep if she never returns from Mom and Dads but I cant help wondering why the other guys she meets arent doing it for her. What am I doing that she likes? I know I can make her laugh, which we all know is helpful, but does she really see something in me that the others don't have?

The optimist in me wonders, does a FSU single Mum approaching 30 want to be a party girl forever or does she really want to grow up a bit and find some stability in her life? Bringing the kid with her suggests to me she is trying to be realistic with prospective suitors. If she was really dishonest she'd keep him hidden until "little brain" had started to work overtime.

Matey,  I offer this advice based on experience. I recognise the type.   I was 45 she was 32....  Smart, a business lady, very attractive - happy to bring her daughter on a date - but meeting lots of guys.... then trying to come back to me.... 'You are the steady one, my rock"..

I met my second wife.. The lady told me she was a 'village woman' - that she was "more sophisticated" and I broke off contact..

She went on to marry another European guy, found out he was 'bi-sexual' - and this woman liked sex... and last I heard she was an estate agent for a married guy who had her on the side.  She re-appeared on my scene - asking if I was happy .... which meant she wasn't ....  Her daughter is now 18 and she and I exchange birthday greetings... 

I think your lady may be the same ... she knows what she wants - but may never find it ...'Fascinating', but not LTR material.... 

Have fun - but be careful. 

 

[Mr strange]

Well it seems like what came up in the Loveme documentary between Michael and Svitlana.

Svitlana kept contact with several men to keep her options open and to see what was best security for her 2 kids. Michael did not connect on a romantic level but to prove a scam letter wrong they got married anyway. Her fault was not really telling the truth before to late.

In any case if this still has interest you got to lay down the rules as a man saying it's you, me and the kid let's see if we have a feauture. Just us!

Besides you get a non Ukraine/Russia view on this forum. The way it is and how they live and feel their lives. Some research on Elena Petrova's blog will help you a lot. If she waiting to be picked due to believing in the prey faith. You need to understand and then get the truth from the girl. Near 30 with a kid does seem like hope in hell as the opportunities are slim to none as for another chance for a happy relationship. No one cares!

If it's tuff the tendecy can get to make the money non legal to survive.

[htrj]

Well, the plot thickens...........

Shes a bit grumpy tonight but ive just been chatting with her on Skype about what shes going to get up to on her long summer trip home... She was telling me about the friends she would see and how the "Mini-Moscovite" would spend time with Granny and Grampa..... I jokingly said "Sounds like you'll have a great time. What if you wont want to leave at the end of your trip?" to which she replied, she cant wait to "escape" Russia..... Everyone in Russia is evil!

Hmmm.....

Av', out of interest, why did you ask if she discussed her parents with me?

[AvHdB]

Av', out of interest, why did you ask if she discussed her parents with me?

Because it gives an indication if she is real. I would be very wary of a girl who does NOT discuss her parents ~ family. Family is mega big in the former Soviet Union, even today. You can see this by the fact that she is returning to be with them, notwithstanding her disdain for things Russian.

Curious where in Europe is she?

[htrj]

This one is living near to Valencia.

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

[andrewfi]

This one is living near to Valencia.

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

What evidence, other than what you have been told, do you have to support the contention that this woman was 'abandoned'?

You are being set up as a mule because you have already shown that you are a mug.

You have shown that you are willing to deal with dishonest people and that you are susceptible to manipulation.

Stoppit!

[htrj]

This one is living near to Valencia.

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

What evidence, other than what you have been told, do you have to support the contention that this woman was 'abandoned'?

You are being set up as a mule because you have already shown that you are a mug.

You have shown that you are willing to deal with dishonest people and that you are susceptible to manipulation.

Stoppit!

Awww, but she is sooooo cute! 

That is really whats motivating me, and I need a slap for it. This game can be tough when there are women that tasty around.

When I mentioned the abandonment thing I was actually thinking of Belaspanas situation being similar to this one, and I did get to know her much better. As for the evidence all I have is her anecdotes of her brother and sister in law being god parents followed by VK photos of what appears to be a Christening definately showing the girl (with that body and that hair and those eyes  ) Brother, Sister in law, other family, but no Father of the child.

Not conclusive, but it is contemporaneous.

[Mr strange]

This one is living near to Valencia.

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

What evidence, other than what you have been told, do you have to support the contention that this woman was 'abandoned'?

You are being set up as a mule because you have already shown that you are a mug.

You have shown that you are willing to deal with dishonest people and that you are susceptible to manipulation.

Stoppit!

Why Russian men leave?

Again Elena Petrova's blog would give you way better insight than this forum ever will.

But it's cultured and men are in short supply with plenty of opportunity for any girl of the week if you care for a short answer.

Though it sounds like you are attracted by beauty and not by soul.

Thinking Russia is evil even if it was joke or out of my league is already showing negative attitude and personal insecurities on your part. This is not what Russian girls are searching for in a man.

[htrj]

I shall have a look later, thanks for the tip.

For clarity, it was her who said "everyone in Russia is evil"....... I would not so much as think such a thing.

As for the insecurities, i was asked some time ago, probably by one of the more sobering members of the forum, if the woman i was seeing was "out of my league". The point being that if she wasnt, what was the point? I shall take your comments on board, but i think we all agree that i am drawn to this girls appearance.......... almost...... "soul"ly.

[AvHdB]

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

Women in the former Soviet Union tend to have children younger when relationships are more fragile and there is less maturity. This is slowly changing.

Women's loyalty in the fSU is almost always patriarchal and directed towards the mother and babushka. 'Stray sperm shots' that produce sproglets are frequently the unfortunate ones. But the mothers often have a reasonable support network and manage to raise children that often are more respectful than many brats I see in the West.

[htrj]

If family is so important in Russian culture how come the fathers of these kids keep abandoning their pregnant girlfriend's? Dont Russian men develop the same family values?

Women in the former Soviet Union tend to have children younger when relationships are more fragile and there is less maturity. This is slowly changing.

Women's loyalty in the fSU is almost always patriarchal and directed towards the mother and babushka. 'Stray sperm shots' that produce sproglets are frequently the unfortunate ones. But the mothers often have a reasonable support network and manage to raise children that often are more respectful than many brats I see in the West.

Of the handful of FSU raised children I have met they do seem more rounded than some of their British counterparts. More respectful, better table manners, better behaved etc. They still arent perfect kids but in my experience they just seem more "down to earth".

I was half watching something last night about how British kids have been over medicalised, everything from drinking Calpol like tap water to taking nasty soul destroying stuff for hyperactive disorder. The program featured a Dutch psychiatrist who claimed she had had good results by teaching hyperactive kids to "meditate". That strategy may have worked for her in the Netherlands but with the British kids the session was predictably disastrous.