Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU > Ask a Russian Speaking Lady - Спроси у русской леди
FSUW attitudes about money and posessions.
justadude:
They say disagreements/conflict over money matters is the number one reason for divorce in the US. From what I have gathered so far, there is a difference between the way FSUW view of money and finances than American women or men (or at least than me). Of course I am speaking in generalities. I have heard a couple of different explanations and ideas on the topic.
One of them is that FSU people don't have much money so they spend what they have quickly without saving. This doesn't exactly make sense to me.
Another idea is that one's status is very important and one's status can be determined by the square footage/zip code of one's house, the make and year of one's car, the size of the diamond on a wife's finger, and the maker of the clothes and accessories one wears. Indeed, when I was in Kiev I was shocked by the number of Mercedes G wagens I saw in a country where I've been told an income of $1000/month is way above average. I don't think a G wagen is any less expensive in Kiev than Northern California, perhaps even more.
As the son of a mid western sugar beet farmer, I learned to save like a squirrel, and it has put me in a pretty good position at this point in my life, considering my vocation. However, I find myself at loggerheads with my FSU fiance in regard to money issues. I am concerned that we might be incompatible on this issue.
I have heard similar comments from other men who have married FSUW, about different attitudes toward money, but they seem to be able to navigate this issue.
I have heard that FSUW have a hard time respecting their husbands unless they have the things that they think they should have. Furthermore, I have heard that there is a difference between women who grew up during the Soviet Union and those who grew up primarily after it's dissolution.
Is this a common issue? Are there ways to mitigate it's impact? What other thoughts do you have on the matter?
Jerash:
Try having a good chat about it to see if there is any room/opportunity for compromise on both sides. Others here will be able to advise better on the particular issues that may be at play here.
.
Markje:
In my experience, FSUW are definately more materialistic than Dutch women and care especially much more about their image of people closeby.
Ergo : You need better clothes, more expensive model car and certainly seem to enjoy life (Restaurants, etc.) more than your neighbour.
But: It is also the mans job to take care of your savings-account and have something for rainy days. If you dont do that, they will definately loose respect for you and you get into a fight.
About your specific points:
--- Quote from: justadude on February 20, 2017, 09:41:32 PM --- One of them is that FSU people don't have much money so they spend what they have quickly without saving. This doesn't exactly make sense to me.
--- End quote ---
Just the women that don't save. Like I said above: Its definately expected of the man to take care of having savings/pension.
The answers below are just my experience with a few FSUW and may not represent the majority.
--- Quote ---Another idea is that one's status is very important and one's status can be determined by the square footage/zip code of one's house,
--- End quote ---
Not important
--- Quote ---the make and year of one's car,
--- End quote ---
Very important
--- Quote --- the size of the diamond on a wife's finger,
--- End quote ---
Not really important, they like that stuff but no more than other non-fsuw women.
--- Quote ---and the maker of the clothes and accessories one wears.
--- End quote ---
Important.
--- Quote ---As the son of a mid western sugar beet farmer, I learned to save like a squirrel, and it has put me in a pretty good position at this point in my life, considering my vocation. However, I find myself at loggerheads with my FSU fiance in regard to money issues. I am concerned that we might be incompatible on this issue.
--- End quote ---
No, you just don't tell her exactly how much you make and how much is reserved for pensions. The money you bring into the 'family' is all for spending and none for saving. But if you screw up (no savings and rainy days ahead) then you're toast.
Steveboy:
--- Quote from: Markje on February 21, 2017, 12:40:57 AM ---In my experience, FSUW are definately more materialistic than Dutch women and care especially much more about their image of people closeby.
Ergo : You need better clothes, more expensive model car and certainly seem to enjoy life (Restaurants, etc.) more than your neighbour.
But: It is also the mans job to take care of your savings-account and have something for rainy days. If you dont do that, they will definately loose respect for you and you get into a fight.
About your specific points:
--- Quote from: justadude on February 20, 2017, 09:41:32 PM --- One of them is that FSU people don't have much money so they spend what they have quickly without saving. This doesn't exactly make sense to me.
--- End quote ---
Just the women that don't save. Like I said above: Its definately expected of the man to take care of having savings/pension.
The answers below are just my experience with a few FSUW and may not represent the majority.
--- Quote ---Another idea is that one's status is very important and one's status can be determined by the square footage/zip code of one's house,
--- End quote ---
Not important
--- Quote ---the make and year of one's car,
--- End quote ---
Very important
--- Quote --- the size of the diamond on a wife's finger,
--- End quote ---
Not really important, they like that stuff but no more than other non-fsuw women.
--- Quote ---and the maker of the clothes and accessories one wears.
--- End quote ---
Important.
--- Quote ---As the son of a mid western sugar beet farmer, I learned to save like a squirrel, and it has put me in a pretty good position at this point in my life, considering my vocation. However, I find myself at loggerheads with my FSU fiance in regard to money issues. I am concerned that we might be incompatible on this issue.
--- End quote ---
No, you just don't tell her exactly how much you make and how much is reserved for pensions. The money you bring into the 'family' is all for spending and none for saving. But if you screw up (no savings and rainy days ahead) then you're toast.
--- End quote ---
FSUW are definately more materialistic than Dutch women and care especially much more about their image of people closeby
Noooo thats not correct!! FSUW are NOT materialistic and are happy to stay at home all day cooking and cleaning , thats why so many from the US go after them.. :laugh:
The biggest answer to most guys from the US to this question:
Q. Why do you search for a FSU women
A. Because American women are very materialist ( 85% will give this as the answer)
But then your watching hollywood movies and see these poor women happy to have a bowl of soup an herring for dinner, what can you expect.
Rockstar77:
Everybody is materialistic. I love buying stuff and so does every other man. You could walk into any mans house and see a big flat screen tv or a pretty decent vehicle parked outside his house. I know some of my pipefitting co-workers that are proud of their New tools for work. Ohhh you gotta by this pipe wrench, etc. But a woman wants cosmetics, smell nice or dress gorgeous and that's materialistic. Who doesn't want cool things. What's the point of working then? We work to provide and live better. Going on a date is a preview of if your cheap or can give. Yes generosity can be taken advantage of but if your to dumb to see what's up, then you deserve to get jazzed.
I never left all of my ex's in the past because of materialism. I left them because of drama. Before I met my fiancée, I was seeing a girl and it was my final North American girl. We were driving to the theatre to watch a movie and were laughing and joking around. Then out of the blue, she says...I'm mad at you. I was like...huh? What did I do. She said nothing. So we watched the movie in silence. Then when it ended and I drove her to her place. She got out of the car with a smirk and went into her place. I thought...how hard is it to tell me if I said anything to piss her off. I called her place a few times and she didn't answer, so I said screw this. Then one day she called me and said...I miss you. How about I come over and we can fool around. I said don't bother. She got mad and said what's your problem. I said I'm to old for this sh@t and I'm busy. She said so your not into me no more...I said...bingo. She got mad and said a lot of stuff that a three year old would say. Suffice to say she phoned and texted me tons after that for about two months. Sure she missed out on something great but at the same time drama has no place in my life.
I think men hide behind the materlistic saying of no gold diggers or whatever but the main problem isn't that. it's us not being men. I've learned more of how jerks, selfish men in our culture is considered a great catch and how men that treat women good are to boring and more as friends. I've never been to Russia but being a good man in Ukraine is considered golden. As long as you can make a girl, smile, laugh and treat her cool...her eyes will forever be yours. Being strong which is a favourite word in both Russia and Ukraine means doing your thing with not asking. You make the plans, you keep your word and be able to fix anything and solve stuff fast. Do that stuff and you'll never worry.
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