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Author Topic: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy  (Read 5286 times)

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Offline Orchid

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2015, 09:50:10 AM »

Это еще не конец...сукин сын - не то слово:)

Gosh... Now I am mad at all men in this world.
My hubby is going to stay without dinner tonight.
Somebody must pay for all this crap.  :dh:

So, for the acts of one all must suffer?

Do not worry much.
It did not work anyway.
He brought me to a restaurant.
Mmmm.... It was so good.....

Offline Orchid

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2015, 09:54:40 AM »

2/ hopefully, one bad experience won't put Abashka off all western men, any more than it should off all French guys...I didn't see the likes of Don / Beel give up after disasters and it seems their persistence paid off ... 


No, it will not:) I try to stay positive!

I do not think that one rotten egg spoils the pudding ;D


Be careful there are lots of Rotten eggs out there!

Reading Anna's story I understand myself better.
I never looked for a man. I always was choosing between those who wanted me.
I thought I was lazy. Now I realize that it was some kind of protection.
All women are vulnerable in different ways.

Offline Orchid

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2015, 10:06:23 AM »
WOW! I am really impressed with your report, Anna!!! Thank you so much.

А теперь по русски.
Вот сукин сын!!!
Мне нужно открыть здесь класс как давать таким мужикам под зад коленом!!!
У меня это легко получается!!!
Так...... Мне нужно помолчать немного, а то я тут такого сейчас наговорю.....

Это еще не конец...сукин сын - не то слово:)

I guess that the men who we politely reject might think about the same of ourselves. Had we been able to listen to what some of the rejected guys think of us, we 'd learn a lot :eeekk:

It is Anna's story. I do not care what that guy thinks.
Through this story we can see her beautiful soul.
We can see how she is generous and hardworking.
It is not easy at all for woman  to earn money in Russia and pay for everything to go and see a man in Europe.
I hope one really nice gentleman here will notice all her qualities and will not miss his chance.
To see a diamond we do not need a telescope.....


Offline NS1

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2015, 02:00:28 PM »
I wish her success as well.
I agree she went above and beyond.
Use the lessons men use, its the same concept.
If you see something even a little off, Next!
As with women we searched for, plenty good ladies.
But it can be work to find. Anna Must do same in reverse.
Lots of good men, don't put up with BS or excuses.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline abashka

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #29 on: May 07, 2015, 01:32:48 PM »
Part 3

I came home. He was very excited, we talked every day, though he still tried to blame me if it seemed to him I said something wrong (English is not native for either of us). I even told him once – ok, the girls did not treat you well before, but I didn't cause you any harm, so why should I pay for their mistakes?

Everything seemed to be ok and one day he said he was thinking about marrying me and we should plan it during our next skype session.  No need to say how happy I was, though I had some doubts and could not fully trust him after all he had done.

So I asked him some questions about how he saw our future life, as, for example, I will not be allowed to work for 2 years + I do not know French. He said ok, no need to work my salary is enough for all of us (and here I remembered his phrase about “low bank account”).
After that he disappeared for 3 or 4 days. He did not write me at all and after 2 days I asked if he was ok (though all these days he was online in fb I saw new posts in my news). I said I worried about him and I could understand he could be busy, but he could just write me about it something like that “sorry, dear, next 2-3 days  I will be busy and will not be able to talk to you”. I would understand it.  After that he unfriended me in fb as “you used fb to spy on me these days and you are  :censored: ing my brain now” (I mentioned I saw him online).

He said he was sick and tired/nervous and he left his job as a teacher, decided to study something new (for a year) and start his own business. I was a little bit shocked. I said ok, but you could tell me about such plans, if you were going to change your life so much as for me it meant you will be unemployed for 2 years and would not be able to marry me. His answer was - my health is more important for me. Ok. Anyway I did not ask for anything, it was his choice all I could do was to agree and support him.

At that time he frankly told me that he bought a flat with his ex, then she left him and he had to pay it alone (mortgage) more than 2k euros every month, that is why he lived with mom (ooops he said before it was his apartment!) and that is why his account  was low. So he was going to sell it to pay the mortgage.

I asked ok you are unemployed now and you are full of debts, how are you going to live? The answer killed me – dear, my parents are not poor, they will help me.  I always thought at 43 you should help your parents already, no?

But ok, I saw he had a plan, he was motivated etc so I told not to worry I will agree with any decision and can wait until he solved all his problems.

He was going to sell his bike to be able to visit me this summer
 
About the kids..I asked many times why he did not see them and every time I got different answers. This question worried me very much as I have a kid too and cannot understand him. He said his ex took the kids and did not allow him to see them. I knew that it is very hard to do in European countries (he worked in the police then so I do not think he had any problems with law) so it was strange that he had not visited them for 4 years and only saw them once a year in the city accidentally.  They are 14 now, they have mobiles and fb but he did not want to try to write them, he said he tried for several years and did not want it anymore, he just did not have kids.

Oh, yes, “I paid for them so much already and did not see them”, “I regret I had kids with this bitch” etc. However, he said he was a good dad for them and I do think he was, he was just hurt he could not see them and blamed his ex for it. It was something like a protection I think.

At that time he started losing interest, we stopped talking on skype (though we did it only once a week) and wrote me once in two or three days only. He did not ask me how I was etc, and even when I wrote first his answers were short. I told once that I do not feel he was interested anymore. The answer was – oh, no baby, I just have a lot of work. Ok..no time for me..so sad…I tried to talk… to explain that I need more attention, than “how are you?” once in three days. He just kept silent.

I started to understand that probably he was not the one I need though it hurt me much.
But I still tried to repair it. I tried not to annoy him, etc.

The last dialog was when he said that French laws are strange, even stupid, I laughed and answered – many things are strange, not only laws. He said : Me for example??? That is what you were thinking about?????? I answered – noooo, I meant the language as French grammar is strange for me. He said – you are cynical.

For me it was the last straw. I was kind and nice to him always. I tried to understand and accept all his quirks; I always tried to find excuses for him if he did something I did not like. I tried to respect his feelings. I never said anything that could offend him etc. And after all of it he said I am cynical? I wrote him all of it and it was my last message.

He did not answer anything as I think somewhere deep inside he probably knew I was right.

In two or three days he posted some pics with a local girl hugging him with comments “baby I love you”. Since that time this story is finished for me. I did not write him anything further and I am not going to do it.

Though I do think I deserve to be informed about it properly. If he wanted to get rid of me he could just write – sorry, I found another girl. I would understand and accept it.

Anyway, I am not angry about him. I saw a nice country thanks to him, he really tried to show me it. And I got a very good lesson for future.

The end.


Offline AKA Luke

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #30 on: May 07, 2015, 01:38:23 PM »
It sounds like you had a lucky escape Anna.


It really is great to hear from a woman's prospective even if the guy was a complete jerk. I hope he doesn't put you off your search or Men in general.

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Offline Larry

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #31 on: May 07, 2015, 01:44:59 PM »
As others have said - you can do much better than this guy. You bent over backwards to accommodate him and it was never enough.

Offline abashka

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #32 on: May 07, 2015, 01:46:34 PM »
It sounds like you had a lucky escape Anna.


It really is great to hear from a woman's prospective even if the guy was a complete jerk. I hope he doesn't put you off your search or Men in general.

Thank you.

No, he did not put me off my search or men, I do hope there is my soulmate somewhere and I just need some time to find him:)

Offline Chris

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #33 on: May 07, 2015, 01:50:06 PM »
Sorry to hear your sad story Abashka and how badly he treated you, but thanks for posting it anyway as it was interesting to hear a ladies story for a change. I hope you find someone soon and your dreams come true  tiphat

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #34 on: May 07, 2015, 02:28:40 PM »
It sounds like you had a lucky escape Anna.


It really is great to hear from a woman's prospective even if the guy was a complete jerk. I hope he doesn't put you off your search or Men in general.

Thank you.

No, he did not put me off my search or men, I do hope there is my soulmate somewhere and I just need some time to find him:)

I wish you the best of luck for that soulmate search. You are still in your prime-years according to many European guys.

And forget about this frog as soon as possible!

Mark.
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My first trip to my wife: To Evpatoria!
My road trip to Crimea: Roadtrip to Evpatoria

Offline NS1

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #35 on: May 07, 2015, 03:01:26 PM »
You should thank him, He was such a jerk, so often.
With all his problems and excuses, you never married.
Which would have been hell for you, with many regrets.
At least you know before and as much as it is painful.
Can move past this and hopefully on to someone who will
Appreciate you for what you can offer and bring to your future man.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline Jerash

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #36 on: May 07, 2015, 06:51:06 PM »

2/ hopefully, one bad experience won't put Abashka off all western men, any more than it should off all French guys...I didn't see the likes of Don / Beel give up after disasters and it seems their persistence paid off ... 


No, it will not:) I try to stay positive!

I do not think that one rotten egg spoils the pudding ;D

Lol!  I think one rotten egg could easily spoil the pudding, but I know what you mean!  Good for you to stay positive, it wouldn't be easy after a trip like that!

Offline sharonhaber00

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #37 on: May 08, 2015, 08:38:31 AM »
From what I've heard about women in general, they would dump any one who poses even 10% from the strangeness this guy has. Even desperate woman from Ukraine in 1999 wouldn't put up with that crap(?)

I know of cases of young girls from Ukraine in the year 2000 who married older guys, twice their age, who also had many problems. They escaped from them after a short time, after they came to live with them in their country.
Saw it in documentary film who followed four couples. Two of the girls left their husbands and the country. One met with foreign Ukrainian worker in the country and they left to Ukraine and are happily married.
One left alone and now lives in England with her mom and daughter and study in Oxford. Two girls stayed married in the country. From them in one case the guy passed away after 7 years due to liver problems. The other couple is happily married (as this guy has no issues. He is just normal).

So that's the lesson. Find someone normal.   
Nadie no sabe lo que tiene hasta el día que lo pierde.

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #38 on: May 08, 2015, 09:42:20 AM »
No, he did not put me off my search or men, I do hope there is my soulmate somewhere and I just need some time to find him:)

When I hit Moscow this summer I'll give you a ring and perhaps we could meet. 
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Offline abashka

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #39 on: May 09, 2015, 02:29:27 PM »
Thank you, guys.
I do consider it as a good lesson for myself, I try to stay positive though I am dissapointed in international dating a little, but I will be trying again.


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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #40 on: May 11, 2015, 01:58:19 AM »
From what I hear many Russian women are disappointed with International dating. I have heard of many women leaving their job, family and friends hoping for something better in Western Europe only to find out they were actually better of back at home.
The problem is (Not All) but many guys are expecting to find a women seeking to escape the terrible life they lead, beatings , no food , husband is always with a hooker and drunk. Usual Stereo type the Western media paints a picture of.
Many women expect life in Western Europe to be like the "Sex in the city" soap, because the Western media always paint a picture of life like this.
I have heard so many stories of women marrying guys expecting a nice house and a good living standard only to be 50 times worse off than back home.

Here is a typical example. We have a friend from Transdinistria she dated a guy from a Nordic country. Over three years he visited here several times a year and plan to marry.

She had never travelled. Each time he visited they went out to nice restaurants (You can eat at the best for $30 for two !!) He took her to the movies every night, usual things you do.

Often she said "When were married and living in his country Im going to make him save his money! No restaurants every night!" Of course he couldn't afford that in his own country anyway.

He's just a normal nice guy with a normal job.

When she finally moved to his country after they were married, she found out life is not how she imagined or saw on the TV for most. After moving into a bigger apartment and taking credit out for household items, they have no money for dinning out each night! Actually she hasn't returned home in over 18 months because they cannot afford the flight. She's already sick and tired of the life and wants to return home.

She left a job, (not bad money for her town ) with not such a bad life, Odessa is just 2 hours drive, so plenty of warm summer weekends on the beach. Always out with friends. far from destitute!

I have heard the same story so many times. My advise to any women is make sure the guy can support you at least to a reasonable standard of living and do not listen to any bullshit (Lots of guys speak it) Life is not so wonderful in the EU for a big majority of the population. 1.5 million kids go to school each day with no food in their stomachs! 1000 Old age pensioners die each year because they cannot afford the heating.

"Sex in the city" is a far cry from many peoples lives in the EU or US!










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Offline abashka

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2015, 06:17:40 AM »
From what I hear many Russian women are disappointed with International dating. I have heard of many women leaving their job, family and friends hoping for something better in Western Europe only to find out they were actually better of back at home.
The problem is (Not All) but many guys are expecting to find a women seeking to escape the terrible life they lead, beatings , no food , husband is always with a hooker and drunk. Usual Stereo type the Western media paints a picture of.
Many women expect life in Western Europe to be like the "Sex in the city" soap, because the Western media always paint a picture of life like this.
I have heard so many stories of women marrying guys expecting a nice house and a good living standard only to be 50 times worse off than back home.

Here is a typical example. We have a friend from Transdinistria she dated a guy from a Nordic country. Over three years he visited here several times a year and plan to marry.

She had never travelled. Each time he visited they went out to nice restaurants (You can eat at the best for $30 for two !!) He took her to the movies every night, usual things you do.

Often she said "When were married and living in his country Im going to make him save his money! No restaurants every night!" Of course he couldn't afford that in his own country anyway.

He's just a normal nice guy with a normal job.

When she finally moved to his country after they were married, she found out life is not how she imagined or saw on the TV for most. After moving into a bigger apartment and taking credit out for household items, they have no money for dinning out each night! Actually she hasn't returned home in over 18 months because they cannot afford the flight. She's already sick and tired of the life and wants to return home.

She left a job, (not bad money for her town ) with not such a bad life, Odessa is just 2 hours drive, so plenty of warm summer weekends on the beach. Always out with friends. far from destitute!

I have heard the same story so many times. My advise to any women is make sure the guy can support you at least to a reasonable standard of living and do not listen to any bullshit (Lots of guys speak it) Life is not so wonderful in the EU for a big majority of the population. 1.5 million kids go to school each day with no food in their stomachs! 1000 Old age pensioners die each year because they cannot afford the heating.

"Sex in the city" is a far cry from many peoples lives in the EU or US!
Beleive me I did not expect to find " Sex and the city", I know the reality differs:)

Offline Ste

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #42 on: May 11, 2015, 06:48:56 AM »
From what I hear many Russian women are disappointed with International dating. I have heard of many women leaving their job, family and friends hoping for something better in Western Europe only to find out they were actually better of back at home.
The problem is (Not All) but many guys are expecting to find a women seeking to escape the terrible life they lead, beatings , no food , husband is always with a hooker and drunk. Usual Stereo type the Western media paints a picture of.
Many women expect life in Western Europe to be like the "Sex in the city" soap, because the Western media always paint a picture of life like this.
I have heard so many stories of women marrying guys expecting a nice house and a good living standard only to be 50 times worse off than back home.

Here is a typical example. We have a friend from Transdinistria she dated a guy from a Nordic country. Over three years he visited here several times a year and plan to marry.

She had never travelled. Each time he visited they went out to nice restaurants (You can eat at the best for $30 for two !!) He took her to the movies every night, usual things you do.

Often she said "When were married and living in his country Im going to make him save his money! No restaurants every night!" Of course he couldn't afford that in his own country anyway.

He's just a normal nice guy with a normal job.

When she finally moved to his country after they were married, she found out life is not how she imagined or saw on the TV for most. After moving into a bigger apartment and taking credit out for household items, they have no money for dinning out each night! Actually she hasn't returned home in over 18 months because they cannot afford the flight. She's already sick and tired of the life and wants to return home.

She left a job, (not bad money for her town ) with not such a bad life, Odessa is just 2 hours drive, so plenty of warm summer weekends on the beach. Always out with friends. far from destitute!

I have heard the same story so many times. My advise to any women is make sure the guy can support you at least to a reasonable standard of living and do not listen to any bullshit (Lots of guys speak it) Life is not so wonderful in the EU for a big majority of the population. 1.5 million kids go to school each day with no food in their stomachs! 1000 Old age pensioners die each year because they cannot afford the heating.

"Sex in the city" is a far cry from many peoples lives in the EU or US!
Beleive me I did not expect to find " Sex and the city", I know the reality differs:)

Maybe 'Shameless' is more realistic! UK version not the US remake. 'Shameless', based in Manchester, is just how Manny lives, right Stuart!!??
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

Offline teamplayer4sure

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #43 on: May 21, 2015, 10:05:12 PM »
Anna; You definitely made the right decision. This man was by no means ready for a relationship with a woman like you or anyone else. You gave him more than enough rope to hang himself ))  You desreve so much more in a man!!

Offline abashka

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #44 on: May 22, 2015, 05:10:33 AM »
Anna; You definitely made the right decision. This man was by no means ready for a relationship with a woman like you or anyone else. You gave him more than enough rope to hang himself ))  You desreve so much more in a man!!

Thank you!

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Re: A FSUW goes on a WOVO trip to visit a Western guy
« Reply #45 on: May 28, 2015, 05:43:08 AM »

Maybe 'Shameless' is more realistic! UK version not the US remake. 'Shameless', based in Manchester, is just how Manny lives, right Stuart!!??

 :chuckle:

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/shameless


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Caught red handed...


You won’t make every topic about you. Think of it like containing a virus: you can’t have it infecting everywhere.

Here is my Russophobia/Kremlinphobia topic


 

 

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