My Russian Love affair!

[Wiz]

I know that I will never become a famous writer or will win any literacy competitions with my illiterate writing style but I hope you can enjoy reading about my Russian adventure in pursuit finding the right woman to share my life. I have tried to give objective comments and relay honestly my observations about this beautiful country, its people and life in general there.

Please bear in mind that I started writing this report while I was in Ufa during my last trip there.

Finding Love in Russia?

Finding the answer to this hard question it would be advisable that first we should look inwards to ourselves and examine our own personality, desires, willingness and actions to achieve our own goals. Understanding and knowing ourselves is very important before we start our search to find the other half, our soul mate. Then of course we should look to our knowledge of the external factors which affect our search for finding the right person.

Russian men are notorious age freaks and any particular reasons are hard to find and the prime for a Russian woman is known to be around 20-25 years old. A teenage RM (Russian Man) or of the same age are attracted to the same group naturally. A 30-35 RM do also want women from that very same age group. When a RM reaches 40-45, still tend to look at the same women age group. Russian men say that, women drastically lose their attractiveness after 25 years old. They give births, their bodies are sagging, their faces become less baby like and fresh and most women gain weight after birth. Russian quality Men want a total, absolute, perfect doll that turns heads.

A single quality man in Russia would create excitement, competition and a big female fuss around him. When Russian women say ‘there are no men around’, they mean ‘there are not suitable men around’. The male marriage material is scarce, not the men as such.

If we move the age scale a bit forward, we will see that starting from 35-40 years of life RM begin either to loose a lot in their quality of looks, health and attitude, or to dye off. So what age group prevails among men in the online dating sites and agencies who target Russian women? It is very clear the 40 + years old.

This and the respective competition among women resulted in extremely high requirements for women in Russia. That’s why Russian women put a lot of efforts to look their best. Russian men set the beauty bar very, very high. Men of all ages prefer women 20-25 years old, no older. They tend to think that after 25 years old a woman is garbage.

It is obvious that the chances of a 40+ RW finding a man in Russia are very slim. In my experience, men are more or less the same everywhere on earth.  Nobody wants to add an extra burden to his or her life. BUT! It seems that Western males are more educated about what is believed to be a good “family man”. They are capable of creating good first impressions through their emails/phone conversations, which can hold a woman interested for quite a while. Behind all the politically-correct words, there is still the same guy looking for a less troubled relationship than he used to have with his ex. I believe that a woman can figure out what kind of person she communicates with and what his true intentions are only when she has lived with the man for a while. It takes time to get to the “core”…whether the man actually meant what he tried to convey in his letters. Also, an average Western man understands that it is not financially feasible to maintain a long-distance dating for a long time, so he has to make his mind quickly, which is definitely different from the way a next-door Russian man thinks…

So, looking for “marriage material”, you can understand very quickly, only a foreign guy would marry a 40 + Russian woman with a certain past and “baggage”. At least, foreign men declare that they have serious intentions and are willing to settle down. That is why so many Russian women post their profiles to so many dating sites, looking for a partner abroad.

Of course it is obvious that Western men, especially Americans, looking for a woman in the FSU countries they have a huge choice and of course they are looking to find young and very attractive women. They know that Russian Women have already indicated in their profiles that they are willing to accept large age differences, something that is more restricted in the West, and who can blame them.

Why should a man go to such huge expense to travel from one side of the planet to the other to find “Damaged Goods” which are untractive and not choose one of the same group 20 -30 years max, like their Russian counterparts?

Consequently there is a very small number of serious Western men who will pursuit a RW of 40+ with a certain past and “baggage”.

We must not also forget that most of the men looking for a woman in the FSU treat this endeavour as fun and a new adventure.

[Wiz]

On the road to find Happiness

Since August 2006, I had a relationship with a Russian woman and back in March 2007; I had finaly made up my mind that our relationship was not going to work. When I left her house on my last visit to her all I wanted to do was to keep quiet for sometime and try to forget our relationship.

At the end of April I had started communicating with a few other women and one of them came across as the right candidate for me and decided to pursuit her. On my way back home on the 30 May, after breaking my engagement with my ex girlfriend, I called this woman and we arranged to meet the same day.

I had seen her studio photos before but when I met her in real life she was much more attractive and prettier then in her photos. She is young and with an excellent well proportioned slim body. Her personality started showing very quickly and was a fresh air in my stale love life. At our first meeting we spent over 5 hours together chatting away and none of us wanted to go to sleep, as we were engrossed enjoying each other’s company very much.

Unfortunately due to Aeroflot been full in the next few days I could not change my flight and stay longer….. but when I was back in the UK we continued our communication.

Later in the end of June and at the beginning of July I visited her twice. With highinsight I can see now, that we had two false starts, because of me been hasty, ignorant of her culture and jumpy, but my new woman has shown to have a very different character from my ex girlfriend and she did apologized for the mistakes, I accused her that she made at the time, which made me to sit up and think very carefully. Of course I did very quickly apologized too and in my 3rd visit in July finally we got it right and we have had a wonderful time together.

During that time, my ex girlfriend guessed that I was with another woman and decided to engage in negative behaviour/contact in an effort to damage my new relationship. I told my new woman everything about my ex girlfriend and she was quite happy about my openness and honesty and did not care too much about the huge amount of SMS's etc I was receiving daily. I also explained to her that I was not prepared to allow my ex girlfriend to damage our relationship and I will do everything possible to protect our relationship.

Back in the UK, I continued my daily communication with my new woman and she was proving to be what I was looking for. At the end of August I went back to visit her for a month and in November I went back again, stayed for nearly a month and a half and we had a wonderful time.

My new woman apart from her been young, very attractive, slim, sexy and a nice character she is also serious about our relationship, confident, very well educated and well established in her profession. Of course she is stubborn, like most of the Russian women are, holds her ground in any conversation we have or argument, but when she understands and realize her mistakes (if she is wrong), she always apologizes and I do the same. She has bought a brand new apartment and has it equipped with the latest and very modern appliances.

What is more important for me is the fact that she likes me and accepted me for what I am and who I am and she is not afraid to show her strong feelings and affection, in private and in public. That has taken me by surprise after my previous experiences with Russian Women and especially my ex girlfriend. To be honest I keep pinching myself, as it is too good to be true, that I don’t live in a dream and of course I know she is genuine. She has a very comfortable life over here, nice family and I know her decision to move to the UK to be with me will only be because she loves me and nothing else. She has already accepted and made up her mind that UK is the place where we are going to live, if and when we decide to get married.

She has also introduced me to all her family and friends and I am very happy that all of them have been very warm towards me and made me feel very welcome and they told her that they like me very much, something that is obvious to me from their actions. What is more important is that her sister likes me a lot and she has taken into herself to smooth some small expected difficulties with Babouska, who has objections to our relationship. We all know that older people are very selfish and care mostly for themselves. I know that first hand from my own, now deceased, old mother who all she cared for was herself and she was constantly complaining after I married an English woman, that I have deserted, which wasn’t true.

The more I live with my new woman, “our normal life”, the more strongly my feelings growing for her. Every day I discover many good things about her character and I have to say that I am not the easiest person to live with. I still have my hot Mediterranean temper but with her calm approach and patience she has managed to make our relationship a good experience. She told me that she thinks about us all the time and she finds it difficult to concentrate in her job! Of course, while she is working, I had plenty of time to re-examine my previous actions and correct what is necessary to make her feel happy. Of course not everything is plain sailing and there are plenty of issues to be cleared out of the way but it is my view that only time can do that. But for now all we can do is to continue our efforts getting to know eachother better and clearing any misunderstandings, due to language problems.

In November I was there for over a month and plan to go back again early next year, meanwhile she got her Visa and she is coming to visit me in UK for a month during Christmas and New Year.

NOTICE: She is here now for Christmas and new year and I have posted some comments and photos on another link.

http://ruadventures.com/index.php?topic=2211.0

So as they say there is a silver lining at the end of the rainbow and I hope that finally, after searching for two years, I have found the right woman in Russia. I have dived in the “Dirty barrel” a few times but finally I hope that I have found my little “pearl”.

[Wiz]

Why should I look for a woman so far away?

I am sure that most of the men, who have found their wives abroad, originally have not made a conscious decision to follow this path. It is clear that all of us pursuing a woman in Russia/Ukraine came across the idea of dating and marrying an FSU woman, by accident or by chance.

In my case and due to my job I had to travel extensively around Europe and in the USA but had never visited the East European countries before, until 2004. My 20 + years relationship with an English woman had gone wrong and finally finished in 2003 and I was in a limbo as you may say.

We have to be honest and admit that men are visual creatures and the large pool of very beautiful Slavic women, their willingness to accept large age difference, is very appealing and irresistible. The family concept and ties, for example, is deep ingrained into them and the easy and feminist attitudes in their relationships shown by their western counterparts, makes them more alluring and sought-after. The overt show of their sexuality and attention to their appearance is something that we all like and look for. Having lived in the UK for over 35 years I don’t find English women appealing anymore.

In 2003, I had a business offer to visit Lvov in Ukraine and my reservations and attitude changed after that trip. In the next 2 years I made several business trips to Ukraine, visited many places and of course learned a lot about the place but still had not thought seriously in finding a partner there.

In 2005 and after a long thought and consideration of my circumstances, I made the decision to search for a partner in the FSU countries and made a plan on how to go about it avoiding the possible and ever presence of scammers. I corresponded with a lot of women and finally last spring the list of prospective women came down to 3 which I made plans to meet during the summer. I met one of the women 2 times in Greece and we had a good holiday but not clicked and then visited another one in Kiev with the same result. In August last year one of the women (my ex Russian girlfriend) I was chatting on MSN and had told her previously that I was not interested to meet because of her age (41 yrs old) and the fact that she had a son, visited England, got in touch with me, we met and after that we started our relationship.
 
The proximity and chances travelling to the FSU countries is very appealing and is something I enjoy very much doing. Meeting and pursuing Slavic women to find the right one is a challenge which gives another impetus to life. Finding love and creating a happy family with the right partner, at the end must be worth it, when taken into consideration all aspects of this endeavour.

Not all women in the FSU countries who are looking abroad to find a man are scammers or gold diggers. Many have hidden agendas, some are very naïve and many are plain ignorant but diving in the “Dirty barrel” we will find them all and many of us get lucky to find a “Pearl”.

[Wiz]

Living with a Russian Woman in Russia, November 2007

If finding the right woman for you, in this huge country Russia is difficult, then the real long road to Jerusalem, till she comes home to live with you, starts when you have to get to know eachother and create a good relationship. It has been emphasized by many people how important is to have as long as you can “face time” to get to know eachother. I will never have gone or will ever go the route of the “one week wonder” and hope that everything will be OK later. It was always part of my plan living with my new woman for sometime in her own environment and that is exactly what I have done twice.

Of course there are many considerations to be taken into account, like work, home, family and costs. Not everybody can up sticks and go and stay in Russia for long periods at a time but in my case that is not a problem. I have been retired for sometime now so time is not something I have to worry about but financial and domestic considerations of my new woman are problems which have to be planned correctly. As it happens the whole family of my new girlfriend are very supportive of both of us and have made every effort, including baboushka, so me and my girlfriend can live in her apartment as free as possible on our own without much interference.

I have been lucky during my 5 trips so far and the face time of over 3 months we have spent together has been very good, learning a lot for eachother, understanding and getting used to living together. When you live alone independent life it’s normal to get set in your own ways and a period of adjustement has to take place between the partners and sofar living in her town and place has been very successful with very few hick ups. Over Christmas she will be over in my place in the UK and I hope she will have a wonderfull time learnig about life there and of course been with me!

While living in Russia I have had to find a few little things to do to keep myself occupied and amused while my girlfriend is at work. Learning Russian is not my favourite occupation and to be honest I find it very boring in the knowledge that we don’t have to live here, later, so not enough motivation for me there. Of course I have learned enough to get by in the shops and Markets and in general I am not worried that I don’t speak the language and can’t find a Russian who can communicate in English. I have met a couple of ex pats and a friend of my girlfriend to speak English, communicate and be assisted at the end of the phone, when the going is getting tough and can’t make people understand what I am looking for.

Learning the local transport system was not that difficult as all busses, trams, minibusses etc are numbered. Calculating the cost of whatever I want to buy is very easy due to their decimal system which is the same as back home knowing that 1 GBP = 50 Rubles. I am having a good laugh winding up the girls on the supermarkets asking for a free plastic bag and pretending I don’t understand the price they are telling me loud for my purchased goods; because they think I will understand them better, if they should loud!

 I think I have to emphasise that you can find everything you want here for food, Electrical appliances and other things, which are so common in the West and we are used to find in our countries but selection and quality is not that good and sometimes you have to waste a lot of time finding what you are looking for. I don’t like going to the local food market for meat, vegetables and fruit because they have too many small shops selling nearly identical goods at the same prices and it’s a pain in the backside to have to carry all that back home using public transport.

Russians do waste a lot of time daily for such matters where we in the West have the large supermarkets to shop, put everything in the back of our car, go back home and we are done with our shopping for a week. Prices of course have marshed on since my first visit here a year ago, last November 06, but from what I understand salaries have not kept pace and I see that it must be very hard for Russian people to survive in their small incomes. It is very noticeable of course that the roads are more busy but not with the old Ladas only but also with very new and modern cars too. Cost of petrol is very good and nearly a 3rd of what we pay in UK, 20 Rubles a litre but when I had a look at the new foreign cars the prices were identical to those I know in the UK.

I noticed a large number of telecommunication shops selling mobile phones, accessories and services. Russian people are very mobile and it appears everybody has a new and the latest model mobile phone. When visiting friend’s houses I am not surprised anymore to see all the modern appliances around the house and make me wonder how these people with small salaries can afford all that. This and other things I have noticed about life here in general indicate to me the existence of a very large black cash economy.

Small size supermarkets can be found in the ground floor of most blocks of flats but space is very short and when going around it’s very difficult to avoid the rude behaviour of the Russian people who will shove and push through without any care or a sorry. Good manners and politeness is not something that is in abudance here. People are behaving very rudely and the words “Please and Thank you” seem not to be in their vocabluraly. Getting off the trams and other public transport I have to fight to get out and people will not move and open a passage for you to go through. In most cases they try to get on before you have the change to get off.

Apart from the centre of the town where you can find some nice cafes and restaurants to visit in general there are no bars and cafes where you can go and spent time. I have read somewhere that Russian people prefer to visit eachother’s houses and have small parties and create their own entertaintment and it’s also my own experience too. It is custom to offer to your visitors mainly a table full of various types of food, cakes and fuit and of course the standard drink of Vodka. Dancing may follow and depends on your host to make a start and yes I had some good fun times visiting friends and family members.

During working days life is nothing special and shopping for food and other items, cooking and taking photos when I am out are the main activities while here. The weather of course is not good with plenty of snow on the ground, temperatures well over -15 C and snowing most days does not allow me to wonder out alot and who wants to be sick on a foreign country.

The housing stock consists mainly of large blocks of flats, soviet style and is in a dreadfull condition on the outside and in desperate need of repair. The common parts of the buildings are also very badly kept and the entrance doors to the flats are all made of steal like fort knock. Most of the flats I have visited are modernized and small in general. The old Soviet system designers never thought of allowing families to have more than 2 rooms and mostly the one room apartments are the norm per family. Under these conditions you will find families of 4-5 persons sharing a 1 or 2 room apartment. Privacy under these conditions is very difficult and the use of sofa beds is the norm mode of sleeping arrangements. The communistic system has tought the people that the show of love and affection is a weakness and must be avoided. It makes you wonder why the system has killed the show of love and affection between the partners in Public and many times in private, which is still visible on the older generation who has lived and grew up under that system.

I can of course clearly see the remnants of the old Communistic system, which had been designed to create robots to serve the system. The Russian education system is also planned in such way to produce only functionaries and not all rounders. I am amazed by the fact that children here, are taught to read and write English but normally don’t know or understand the meaning of most words and they are not taught to speak orally. The reason for that (I was told) was that Russian people had no need to speak English as they were not allowed to travel abroad but of course they could read any educational and other publications permitted by the Government.

The use of normal chairs with high back rest is non existence at homes and small plain stools is what is been used around the small size kitchens. I was told that during the Communistic years they were told that using chairs with high back to rest when sitting around the table, is a custom of the bourjoua society and not something that the Russian people should be using.

I am sure you must realise that while my woman is working during the week we have very limited time to go out and do things and of course we prefer to spent as mush time as possible together talking about many things, exploring likes and dislikes and getting a better understanding of owr own feelings for eachother. We both can’t wait for our Christmas time together in England, which both feel is going to be the deal breaker and we will know if we want and can live together for the rest of our lives. The adjustement period of my new woman in her new life there will be a very interesting part of our life together and will provide a lot of motivation for us to create a happy family. For now we can only wait, bite our time, plan our future correctly and hope our plans will work out and we both have found happiness.

One thing I have to say for sure, life in not going to be the same for both of us and living in England together definitely is going to be more interesting and testing then it is over here. In England we will have more opportunities of outings, visiting interesting places, more things to do together and of course travelling abroad to new places will enchance our life much more than it’s possible in Russia today.


Ufa 7 DEC 2007

[OneWeekWonder]

Hi,

  Interesting observations and accounts Mr. Wiz. I like your way of description and events you encountered. Maybe you are on the third leg of this journey and happiness awaits you?

Yours,

Oww

[Wiz]

Hi,

  Interesting observations and accounts Mr. Wiz. I like your way of description and events you encountered. Maybe you are on the third leg of this journey and happiness awaits you?

Yours,

Oww

Thanks OWW

I am waiting to read your report for your Ukrainian trip soon.....

RGDS
Y

[Wiz]

After a nice holiday during the Greek Easter 2019 in Greece, I decided to post some more, unpublished on RUA, parts of my "Russian Love affair" in this post ..... and you may enjoy reading them.

Getting Engaged

My girlfriend Hanna, during Christmas and New Year, spent one month holiday with me in England and we had a wonderful time together. After she went back to Russia, I have to admit I was missing her alot and as days went by, my mind was made and I was then sure that the time had come to ask her to marry me, but before I did that, I wanted her to think carefully on her own and take the big decision without any pressure.

During our daily telephone conversations it became clear that she was missing me also and she had made up her mind that she wanted to marry me and could not wait for the time that I was going to ask her officially. Well as it happened I could not get on a flight and go to make her the proposal so I had to work out another way to do it.

Lucky for us, Westerners, we have the romantic day of St. Valentines, on the 14 February when love is celebrated in various forms and we can express our love to the woman we are in love, so I took advantage of this opportunity and I arranged for 11 red roses to be delivered to my darling on that day by her close friend next door and I knew that was something she did not expected, as Russian women give more importance on the 8 March celebration of woman’s day.

On the night of the 14 February 2008, I called her friend on our prearranged time and she went next door and called Hanna to come to her flat with some silly pretence. When she came over and she was given the flowers she burst into tears……. Of course her friend had her telephone on her hand and I could hear everything and I was delighted on how she received my little present.

Then I heard Hanna saying that she wanted to go back to her flat and call me to say thank you but her friend gave her the phone and my darling very surprised and told me how happy she was to receive my flowers with a trembling voice from her excitement and tears. So my opportunity was there and I asked her if she wanted to marry me and without hesitation she said Yes, and made me a very happy man.

Everything was working according to my plans. Just for those who don’t know by that time I had visited Russia 5 times and she came to UK for 1 month over Christmas and New year. We had spent together more than 4 ½ months face time together living normally like a husband and wife and I think we both knew each other well enough, when we made our decisions to get married.

Of course after my girlfriend said yes to my proposal it was time to take care of her Baboushka (mother), ask her officially to marry her daughter and get her blessing, so to make my girl happy.

After Hanna left England to go back home, I was reading some excellent articles about local customs and Russian culture, posted by a member of another board, where now I am banned by its new owner. I wish he would post them over here too so people can read and learn a lot about such matters. They are extremely descriptive and very helpful, if you wish to understand more about your Russian woman. I got in touch with him and during our conversations he gave me some excellent ideas and suggestions, on how to handle the case of Baboushka and what I have to do.

When you have to approach her parents and in my case he mother, father died 10 years ago, you need to have a representative who will speak on your behalf and introduce you as a good standing person capable of taking care of her daughter and of course promising to make her happy. Lucky for me Hanna has a good friend, an English teacher and she was the prefect candidate as bilingual to handle the situation and when I spoke to her on the phone, happily she accepted to help me out with my plans to follow my girlfriend’s customs and etiquette.

When asking her parents their permission to marry their daughter, it is custom that you have to offer a ransom, a present or money, to the agreed parents as a good will and to show that your intentions are honourable and that you are able to take care of their daughter. It was suggested to me to find some silver candle holders and I went off looking for them and I got lucky and found a nice antiques pair for a very good economical price, which after having them professionally policed looked excellent. Silly me of course, I forgot to buy the candles but when time came, my girlfriend saved the day and she supplied the candles.

The 8 of March, is a very important day in the Russian calendar and was approaching rapidly. I had to make some changes to my original schedule, booked a flight to arrive in Ufa on time with this celebration and I arranged that my representative, the English teacher, will come to visit us on Sunday morning the 9 March to speak to Baboushka. So I arranged some new 11 roses to be delivered on the early morning of the 8 March to my girlfriend and also a bouquet of chrysanthemum for her mother and when I arrived in the morning of the 8 March, they were both delighted. Of course my girl for the best present she could have on that day, me in Ufa and her mother receiving flowers again (for first time), after her husband died.

When the English teacher, my representative arrived, we talked to baboushka for nearly one hour and it was obvious that she was not happy, naturally, that her daughter was going to marry me and move to live in the UK but of course she had to accept her daughter’s decision. We of course tried to alleviate her worries and promised that we will not forget about her and we will make sure she has a comfortable life, living at my girlfriend’s flat and we will take care of all the financial responsibilites. We are lucky that Hanna has a wonderful married sister who supported us all the time and she made sure her mother understood us and our will to make a happy family together.

For the next week and so Hanna had to work at school and finally on Saturday we had the time to visit the shops and buy her engagement ring. Then we bought a bottle of Champaign and a tort, got in a taxi and off we went to her sister’s house in a nearby town, where Baboushka was staying, while I was/am in Ufa. We had a small party with the family; got the blessing of her mother and now she is wearing proudly her engagement ring.

I thought at the time that I will be back in Russia sometime in May once I have had my English documents ready so we can make the application and get a wedding day booked and probably after schools finished Hana would come to visit me in England for one or two months to rest and get ready for our big day. Reading the long list of what we had to do till she is in the UK permanent it looked like a long road but the wheels were in motion and nothing would have stopped us finding happiness together.

[Wiz]

The joy and troubles getting married
to a Russian woman.

Before living Ufa to return home my fiancé and I visited the ZAGS office, to find out the correct documents required and also to find out about free dates for our wedding day.

At the start of the year the British government had started using the Biometrics system, which means that anybody who wants to visit the UK must give their biometrics, finger tips and a digital photo is been taken of them. We have to thank our American friends, especially that idiot president of the USA, G.W.Bush and his war on Terror and our EX Prime Minister Blair for that!

So now people in Russia have to go to Moscow, or to St. Peterburg and Yekaterinburg but, if you don’t know, the British and Russian Governments are having a Political row and showing off postures, over the killing of Litvinenko, so the Russian Government made life more difficult for us by ordering the closure of various British Consulates around Russia or giving them a hard time. The bottom line is, at the time, we didn’t know where we will have to go to make her Visa application and give the Biometrics.

With that in mind we decided we will apply only for a Tourist visa, lasting 6 months, and then when Hanna was here we would apply for a Settlement Visa. As it happens the Home office department dealing with Visa’s is only 20 minutes away by car from my house and when back home, to make sure that I am doing the right thing, I decided to call them and had to waited for 30 minutes before the phone was answered and I spoke to a very nice woman, who was extremely helpful and made clear to me that my fiancé has to apply in Russia first for Spouse Visa.

At the end of the conversation, I just asked her if it’s possible for my fiancé to apply under the European Regulations (European Directive 224/38/EC, as I have dual Nationality.

Her answer caught me by surprise, brought me a happy feeling and a big anxiety at the same time.

“When you first entered the UK to live here, did you get the stamp LEAVE TO ENTER FOR INDEFINITE STAY?"

Yes I did, I replied.

“If you have that stamp and your old and new passports then of course your fiancé can apply under the European Regulations (European Directive 224/38/EC).”

But my Certificate of impediment will state British Nationality and the Marriage certificate the same, I asked?

Makes no difference as you legally arrived in this country under your Greek Passport, so the Consulate must know about it and accept the application.

Can I have your name please?

I am sure they know about it, and if they don’t tell them to call us."

Thank you very much Mrs Moneysaving Penny!

Date and time was written down (WED 9 April 14.30) as all calls are recorded… LOL ”

Delighted with her answer, I started frantically searching to find my old Greek Passports……and finally after awhile I discovered 3 old passport at the bottom of a draw, inside an old envelope. Checked frantically, every page in them looking for the precious stamp…. And finally I found it!

MY ILR Visa.

II was absolutely elated and happy, to say the least because as you must understand that my ILR stamp gave us the right for Hanna to apply under the European Regulations (European Directive 224/38/EC) enabling her to make a FREE Entrance Visa Application and later get a FREE Resident Card thus saving us alot of money. Once Hanna acquires her Resident Card then she does not need to apply for a Shegen Visa to visit any of the EEA countries thus giving us a big freedom for moving around the EU.

By the time I finished with all that was time to speak to Hanna and she immediately detected my happy mood and asked me what happened and why you are so happy?

So I told her the good news and she was also delighted!

 

[AvHdB]

Wiz, Thank you for posting an interesting read.

[redroo]

  thanks for adding to this thread. Always interesting to read others experiences....and historical ones leave less chance of trolling I guess. Might even be prompted to do one myself

[Wiz]

Thanks both of you for your comments. Obviously these posts are part from my own adventure and experience and I am glad that your read them. Hopefully they may help somebody who will be looking to Russia to find a woman/wife.

Any how I am bored with American Politics and I thought, was a good idea to continue posting on this thread, for a change. I will slowly continue adding more posts......

 

[AvHdB]

At any given moment there might one or two members reading a thread but often 8 to over 40 lurkers also studying the thread. I suppose that is why sharing our insight is valuable.

[Wiz]

At any given moment there might one or two members reading a thread but often 8 to over 40 lurkers also studying the thread. I suppose that is why sharing our insight is valuable.

I have noticed that after I posted the latest post.... pitty that Manny doesn't let me use the images uploaded on a very different address. from that one of my board!

It would look much nicer........

 

[Wiz]

Time to visit the Registered Office in my Town.


The register office in my town

So I am back in the UK (1st April 2008) and tomorrow I am going to visit the Registrar for making the application for the Certificate of Impediment. Then I have to wait for 21 days to get it! After that must go to London to Apostile and then over to the Russians to translate the copy of my GREEK Passport, Divorce Document and also the Certificate of Impediment Costing all together over 350 Pounds.

Marrying a Russian woman is very expensive and they tell us that Russian women are cheap… HA HA HA. Those of you who are married to a Russian woman and me know better how much it costs to fly over there, despite that I have become an expert in getting the best deals out of Aeroflop!....

The good news is that under European Regulations (European Directive 224/38/EC) we can apply for her Resident Card (Visa) to join me here in the UK for Free and it is valid for 5 years period and after that you get a FREE Permanent Resident Card.

Of course after 5 years Hanna will be entitled to apply for a British Passport and Nationality, making life very easy. If I was not a Greek National then we would have to apply under my British Passport and pay £500 GBP ($1000) for the application for 2 years. Then after 2 years we should re-apply again for Permanent Residency and that would have cost us, on today’s charges, 700 GBP ($1400).

I just discovered some very good news, which made me extremely happy. Hanna can come with me to Greece for up to 3 months, without any Visa, when she has in her Russian Passport the Resident Card issued by the UK. Another Greek on the same boat, like me, petitioned the European Parliament and the EU Parliament ordered the Greek Government to enforce correctly the European Directive 2004/38/EC….. article 5(2).

Visiting the Registered Office in my Town.

Today (4 April 2008) it was time to visit the register office to enquire about the Certificate of Impediment. So after breakfast at 11 AM off I went in my car down town to the old library where the registered office is situated.

The building is a very nice looking old house.......of some local aristocratic person I expect, I have not learned its history........but I met a very nice lady who was .....in a hurry! 

Any how she very quickly told me what kind of papers will have to bring with me and what it will happen, when I meet the registrar.

Everything was hunky dory until she told me next available day for meeting was the 21 April 2008.

I explained to her politely that was an unfortunate day as it would remind me for ever an unhappy period of my life and of my country (Greece), the day when the dictators took over power in Greece in 1967, and I didn’t wanted bad luck! 

I had to use a bit of charming language and finally she found time on the 8 of April at 12 PM.......

So there you go.... second step, after collecting my Greek passport the other day.

I am sure the meeting will be no more that 5 minutes and the £30 = $60 fee will pay for her/his time.

After that I must wait for 21 days before collecting the certificate..... and go to London to Apostil it!

[AvHdB]

NICE! Way to go!

For what it is worth in The Netherlands and the United States the document you refer to is called a Certificate of Non-Impediment.

[Wiz]

NICE! Way to go!

For what it is worth in The Netherlands and the United States the document you refer to is called a Certificate of Non-Impediment.

You are right thanks.......


 
not correcting my original mistake.

[Wiz]

What Documents I need to get married in Russia?

You should always check with the ZAGS office where you plan to get married in Russia to see if they have any local Rules, but typically you will need to provide the following:

1). Your passport with a valid visa – It is recommend that the visa is obtained before the translation process starts, this is to ensure that the translation of names on the documents matches with the translation of the name in the visa.

2). A Certificate of Non Impediment (obtained from your local registry office in the UK). I have read reports that some cities in Russia require the British registrar to stamp the CNI, as registrars do not normally do this in the England you will need to ask them to do this when you collect your certificate.

3). If you have been married before, then the Certificate making Decree Nisi Absolute.

Additionally you are required to provide your immigation card once you have registered with OVIR and pay around 200 Rubles cost fee in the Bank for the Register Office.

The above documents have to be translated; Notarized and Apostil so can be accepted by the ZAGS office.

Looking around what it will cost me for doing that here in the UK, discovered that I must pay £240 = $480 for the 3 documents…….. very expensive I must say.

My fiancé, gave me the telephone number of the local translation office in Ufa and next day I called them and spoke to a very nice English speaking lady, who advised me that it will take only one day to do everything and the total Cost, including the translation of Hanna’s Birth certificate and also 3 copies of our Marriage Certificate comes to a total of £120 = $240.

So now I had to wait for the Certificate of Impediment, at the end of the month, go to London to Apostil them (Charge of £27 each document Divorce and CoI) and then send them by courier to my fiancé to make the application at Zags and finalise the wedding date!

Meanwhile I started searching the internet for information about the other arrangements, like wedding dress, restaurant etc in UFA but everything was in Russian but thanks to Google I managed to find a lot of information.

My fiancé was very surprised with what I had been discovering, which of course was helpful for her to organise things and we must not forget that she had very little time after working all day.

To be honest I did start thinking of going down there earlier, spend time organizing things and helping her around, while she was working. Language is a barrier of course but I know a very nice person, a friend of my fiancé, who speaks fluent English…. and she has been helping me all the time.

With everything under the way we decided to get married on the 21 June in Ufa.

The following Wednsday, the 30 April I will be collecting the Certificate of Impediment and next day I had to go to London to Apostil it together with my Divorce document. After that DHL to Ufa for the registry office........and then wait for the 8 of June to fly out there.

At the same rime the poor girl was running off her feet... working all day and then..... chasing to find a wedding dress, translating her documents in English....and too many other things to organise.... like car to take her to ZAGS, restaurant for the reception, drinks, etc. plus some extra little surprises (requests) from her Mother!   

Meanwhile Aeroflot had gone over the tops with their prices... but KD Avia from Kallinigrad was offering better connections and excellent prices to UFA flying out from Gatwick, which is just 20 minutes drive from my house.

For one way ticket for Hanna in July... Aeroflot was asking nearly £620 = $1200 and slightly cheaper for a return.... but KD Avia was charging only £116 = $220.

[Wiz]

Our Wedding Day - 14 June 2008

(Written in Ufa just after the wedding)

I just had managed to recover sufficiently enough from the Saturday Wedding party and the afterwards celebrations to be able to write a few notes about our wedding.

Finally I made My Darling Hanna, an Honnest woman     and now had to work hard trying to get her away from Russia dealing with the British beaurocrats......... of the VAC.

Signing the end of my freedom (second time round) at ZAGS in Ufa

Very busy with all the documentation to get her Visa clearance to come to UK on the 7 July and as usual... the Russian Machine is working very slow.............but we are getting there and on Friday Hanna is flying to Moscow for her biometrics and application. We hope that she will get her visa very soon so we can go home on the same day.

Living and working in Russia must be very frustrating to everybody especially when it comes to dealing with petty officials, coupled with their obvious petty jealousy and also plenty of ignorance and reliance on a “here say” information and advice from friends. Specifically I noticed that nearly everybody is asking friends for information of what to do, in their case and of course, everybody is an expert……..giving mostly the wrong advice and the people do not go directly to the horse’s mouth to find the right information.

In our case despite following the correct given advice from a friend of mine in Moscow…. We still encountered and continue to encounter few silly problems and while my darling wife was in Moscow waiting for her flight back home, after applying for her Visa clearance at the Visa Centre ……I will try to give you a small synopsis why I made the above comments.

Last March before coming to Ufa to see my then GF and later fiancé, I asked a friend of mine in Moscow, Lena, how to go about getting the right information from ZAGS. She advised me to insist to be given a printed list of the required documents by the Registrar, and that is what I did, during our meeting at the registry office. At first the Reg Officer was dictating to my GF but then she relented and made a photocopy from her instructions or of the registration book.

Basically to get married at ZAGS, as I said before, you must have a copy of your passport, after you obtained the Visa, the divorce document and a Certificate of impediment. The application we agreed I will have to sign it again, few days before, when I come for the wedding in June.

Documents were taken to Reg Officer by my fiancé… after Apostill, translation and Notarizing…..for checking and she was told everything was fine.

On my arrival, 9th of June, we went again for me to sign the application in the Registrar office. Produced a copy of my immigration card with the OVIR registration stamp. The Russian immigration card is the same for Russia and Belarus, but she told me was not the right one, because of the Belarus name on it……… I asked her to call the OVIR as the most appropriate department to find out that it was the same and as such accepted by OVIR. She did and discovered she was wrong. Then she demanded my original passport despite she had a copy apostil, translated and Notarised of it, so our nephew had to run down with my passport and all she did is to look my photo!

Then 10 minutes before the office closing for lunch, she demanded photo copies of all our documents (52 pages). Three meetings with my wife prior, she never mentioned that and it transpires it was an internal matter (she was lazy to make her own copies…at the photocopier she had at her office) so my wife run out and luckily she managed to find a place and managed to comeback… just as the Reg. officer was closing her office. So finally she accepted our documents and gave us the exact time we needed as we had already printed the invitation, according to her previous advice.

On the day of our wedding she allowed us only 15 minutes…….for the ceremony, and when we arrived with our car there were another 2 couples waiting before us…..Basically the whole thing is like a factory assembly or production line. I felt there was nothing special in such special occasion for us and especially for my wife for whom was her first marriage!

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When we made our application, we requested that my wife will keep her maiden name……but….. Somehow my own surname was on the Marriage certificate. It is obvious this woman is running that office hap hazard, making the rules as she goes along and don’t pay much attention to details…….causing us another costly problem.

Now my wife has to change her internal passport before the expiry day, of she has to pay a penalty of 1500 rubles if she does not do it 12 days after her 45th birthday on the 31 August. Actually she has a month to apply after our wedding day on the 14 June, before she has to pay the penalty, but she was told……… that now she can change her passport on her new name and in September or whenever she is back in Russia must change it again…….. paying the penalty of course.

This twist is definitely a mistake……..and as my friend Lena from Moscow said we are going on Monday to check again……..and this time I will demand the regulation. To make matters worse the brother of one of my wife’s friends, which is a solicitor, advised her that it is correct that she must change her passport twice……so we will see on Monday!

My friend Lena things the same as me… that if they issue her a new passport in her new name, that should be OK even if it was issued 2 months before her 45th birthday.

Finally…. As I have to go to meet her at the airport soon, she was told by several of her friends that she can’t travel to Moscow using her International Passport…….now that there is a stamp on the Internal passport with her new name on! Total rubbish of course!

Amazing of the ignorance around and the habit of asking the “EXPERT” friends instead of the right person or department (according to Lena and me!) Yes she traveled this morning with no problems whatsoever and she checked-in with her NEW name and Marriage certificate with her OLD internal passport on her return flight as the International passport is with the British Consulate for her visa.

As I am learning more about this country, I do wonder….. why Russia would have so much different regulations than other countries, apart of course of the stupid requirement to register with OVIR?

I think the general regulations are very similar to ours and it’s the way they are implemented from the various tin pot desk dictators and corrupt officials.

[Wiz]

Living at our home in the UK

My problem now is that I don’t have enough free time to post frequently but as a friend married to a Russian Woman told me (on another board) after I got married…… it’s all the way down hill now…… freedom days are over and these Russian Women know how to keep you busy and out of mischief!

As you know Hanna and I have spent over a year building our relationship and have lived together for more than 5 months as a husband and wife, there and here…… so we had plenty of time to get to know each other, bridging the gap of cultural differences, resolving many other problems and making sure that we want to live together for the rest of our lives.

I have to say and it is very true; You must have plenty of patience and determination to succeed.

I have/had plenty of patience, rivers of patience, ocean of patience and still wasn’t/isn’t enough when you have a relationship with a Russian woman but I am happy and certain at the knowledge that Hanna married me only because she fallen in love with me and she loves me for who and what I am and not for any other reason, especially financial gain. Of course, I love Hanna for who she is and I thank my luck for meeting her. The love of a good woman - even if she does often frustrates you, is the best thing that any man can ever hope to have. 

We have been back home, from Russia, just over a week now… and after adjusting for the jetlag….. we have started the slow process of getting her Resident card, registration with doctor, Bank account and so on and on. We are looking around to find the right place and course for her to improve her English to a fluent status….. but all the good courses start in September.

Meanwhile my garden has been neglected by the person who was looking after it… he is over 82 years old and now he is in hospital and guess who wants to fix it … in one day…..and make it great again……. Her majesty, my darling wife Hanna!

These Russian Women don’t know how to relax ……. But Hanna slowly is learning and she loves most of the things here especially the good service with a smile and how helpful people are at the shops. All my neighbours made her feel welcome and only the weather is not as hot as is in Ufa, +38 C right now. Of course I am always around to help her with everything and she is adjusting very quickly!

Early days yet and I don’t forget the honeymoon period and her holiday summer time is still on (she was a teacher in Russia) so I must wait for later for better impressions.

One thing I know though that we are both very happy right now!

Over the past month we have made an application for her Resident Card, under the European Directive but we have to wait for six months to be issued. England is a very sought after country for living and working right now and the immigration from the new EU countries continue in big numbers, so we have to wait.

Meanwhile we have had a lot to do with other jobs and necessities, like register with a Doctor, Bank account etc. I must not forget to tell you that Hanna has worked very hard on our garden and now is looking great and I am very proud of her! All I have to do is water the flowers and all of them blossom.

Hanna is studying English daily on line and on the 24 September she will start a language course for 10 weeks.

Before I forget here is the link for this excellent and FREE program.

Headway English Course

At the end of this month and after her birthday on the 31 August Hanna is going back to Ufa to visit mother and family. Meanwhile I have to stay here because of other commitments and to take care of the installation of our new kitchen. I hope they will do it while she is away…… but who knows. I have to wait and see.

One thing I am not happy about is the bad weather during July and August has curtailed our movements around and I have not had many opportunities to show her around or visit many places…… but we have plenty of time in our hands in the future.

[Wiz]

What Documents I need to get married in Russia?

I Suggest you read also this later posted article by "Elena Petrova":

What are Legal Rules To Marry With Russian Women?

[Wiz]

What Documents I need to get married in Russia?

I Suggest you read also this later posted article by "Elena Petrova":

What are Legal Rules To Marry With Russian Women?