My dating strategy has evolved considerably since my last trip. I scored myself at 5 out of 10 then. Reckon I have progressed to a 7 now. I have learned to “ride the bike”. The most important change is in me. I have the self confidence that comes only from practice. Self confidence is a powerful pheromone. The Ukrainian ladies sixth sense absorbs it immediately. A guy that is self confident is more desirable. By the end of this trip I had face to face dated a total 91 Russian and Ukrainian ladies. A couple of agency staff on this trip described me as a professional dater!!
So what else has changed? I have absorbed the forum archives. The converse in reverse strategy works. You must stop at the first red flag. Short first dates are a good strategy. Don’t allow the ladies to take you for a ride. Stay in control, don’t allow yourself to be ripped off. There is no need to be rude. Just say no. *Converse in reverse strategy. When you are regular dating you make small talk first movies, music etc. because you have time to move onto the important stuff later. On a visit many trip you skip the small talk and move to major issues like kids and jobs. Ask the important stuff first.
This strategy applies to a Visit Many trip. I have never clicked on a WOVO deal. If I had I am sure we would have been bonking like bunnies within a couple of days!
Here is my strategy:
You must answer the following questions:
1. Do you like her?
2. Does she like you?
3. Is there mutual chemistry?
4. Does this lady meet your requirements?
5. Any Red Flags in her character or situation?
6. Do you share the same vision of the future?
7. Logically could you match with this lady?
The first date is a simple meeting for about an hour in a café over juice or coffee and perhaps a dessert for her. Just be yourself, relax. Be open and honest. Use your dating skills to put the lady at ease, this facilitates conversation. You must listen. Answer her questions straightforwardly, be self revealing but not overly so. The lady will have her own strategy but you must maintain control of the situation. You must call the shots.
Answering question one is easy. I know whether I like a lady in 10 – 15 mins. If I don’t – well an hour is too long but I must go through the motions and be polite. I end the meeting as soon as it is practicable.
Does the lady like me??? This question obsesses many board members. Some guys spend whole vacations trying to figure out if a lady likes them!! The answer is simple. Russian and Ukrainian women are very smart. They have been trained by Russian and Ukrainian men. They know what they must do. If she likes you she will show it! Period. If she has not done this at the end of one hour, stop trying to melt the ice maiden. Move on. At the other end of the spectrum you get the professional daters. They always appear to like you but it is an act! These ladies are easy to spot.
Positive answers to the first two questions ignites chemistry! This is the spark that begins everything. 80% of the time this will happen in the first hour. If the sparks are not flying by the end of the second date, move on. Persistence just wastes your time and money.
You will get partial answers to questions 4 – 7 in the first hour. If you discover any Red Flags in that first hour, STOP. Only schedule a second date if you like each other, there is some chemistry and no Red Flags.
The second date is usually over a meal but it could be a walk in the park in summer. Choose somewhere where you can talk. Make sure you always choose the venue. This way you don’t get taken for a ride. Don’t be extravagant. A small gift of flowers (say 5 roses or lilies) is a good idea and costs less than $10. You cannot buy her affection, so don’t begin by trying!!
You will be working on getting better answers to questions 4 – 7. She will also be interviewing you. RW and UW have a remarkable sixth sense. They are very hard to bullshit, so don’t try! No boasting about your career or possessions either. This is seen as a turn off by decent women. If the mutual interview process proceeds smoothly the chemistry between you will grow. Again at the first definite Red Flag and you must stop. By the end of the second date you should both have good working answers to your questions. If you are happy with one another and the chemistry is good, expect a goodnight smacker and organize a third date. Repeat - any problems and you should stop. Move on.
On dates 3 to 5 you are getting to know an individual woman. Do not play the suitor, it hands control to her. If you act like a puppy she will treat you like her lap dog! Limit presents to flowers and chocolates. No lavish dates in fancy restaurants, stick to simple meals in cafes. Maintain control of where you go and how much you spend. The good time girls hate this, they are not getting what they want. Concentrate on conversation, sweep the ladies off their feet with your personality not your billfold. Build the relationship. The lady has to like you for yourself, not the money you are spending. Don’t waste money on vacation trips or other expensive activities. Let the lady come to you.
The dating process must go perfectly, first red flag and you stop. Forget any “investment” of time and effort you have made. Move to the next lady. To continue past Red Flags is delusional and a complete waste of time and money. You are on a Visit Many trip, you are dating lots of women. Move your focus to someone else.
Somewhere between dates 3 and 5 you are going to
each others brains out!! I do not date religious people, so for me no sex by fifth date is finished. The women know they are competing for your affection. They understand the time constraints imposed by a trip. If she wants you she will give herself to you. Then you will understand why the guys who know are crazy about Russian and Ukrainian women!!
Never buy a woman expensive presents before you have had sex. It is essential that the lady gives herself because she wants you. Bad women want presents! The unmistakable sign is bartering for sex. If this happens, you have two options. Dump or play with her. Essentially this depends on how much you want to
her. If you decide to play, take her shopping. Find out the parameters of her greed. Buy her something relatively cheap and tell her she will have to be very, very nice to you if she wants that expensive present. She will
your brains out on the prospect of a fur coat. Of course you never buy her anything, you dump her. (Thanks Jack)
Sex is an invitation to a relationship. Bad sex rarely gets much better. You learn so much about a woman by the way she
s you. If you like what you find, begin a relationship. If you are not completely happy, move on. You do not have to settle for second best.
Nothing can prepare you for the experience of your first Visit Many trip. It is an emotional roller coaster. The most concentrated dating experience of your life. You will be running first dates, seeing ladies further along in the dating process and maybe
ing one or two. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. This is not good for your emotional sanity. It can lead to you making lousy decisions. You have to try to keep thinking straight with your head not your balls!! Don’t try to match too soon. Ignore the time pressure, you can always visit again. You do not have to match with Eeny, Meeny, Miney, or Mo. As long as you come home with some real emotional connections the trip has been a success.
Try to play this game with kindness and respect the ladies you are dating. They are real people and you can easily hurt them. The competitive situation and the narrow time window often puts the women under pressure to make decisions before they are ready. It is cruel to increase this pressure, let the lady come to you. Do not abuse the power that you are given by this situation. Remember you are searching for your future wife, you are not on a sex tour. If the situation has your balls swelled like ripe grapefruit, haul your ass to a disco or club. Unless you are 150 Kg+, have a hump and a limp like Quasimodo you won’t have a problem getting yourself laid. Many of the disco girls
for a living so indulging your passions here does no harm. It can help clear your head. It takes your balls out of the decision making loop. If you are on a sex tour why pay expensive dating agency fees and go through this complex time consuming process. Just go to discos and clubs. It is cheaper and much kinder to the decent women who are looking for a husband.
If you succeed and make a match. Do not taint the relationship with extravagant gifts. I made this mistake. English lessons are a good idea in most cases. Modest gifts are fine. Don’t assume financial support yet. When you come home build on what you have created. Phone and write. Monitor the situation closely. Plan an early return trip to visit your lady. This will be quite cheap. Good luck.