Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю

[Eduard]

Kenny, I think you know exactly what's going on. It's just very hard to let go... I totally understand.

[kenny2112]

Kenny, I think you know exactly what's going on. It's just very hard to let go... I totally understand.

If there hadn't been something before, it would be easier. If the relationship hadn't taken a nice natural course in the beginning and become something unexpectedly beautiful, I would have quit a long time ago. Put it this way, her cousin saw us together and was happy because he likes me and thought that we would get married. He liked the idea of having me as a real member of his family.

I've had other girls in Ukraine that I visited, spent time with etc, and it wasn't easy to let them go but I moved on pretty quickly. I've also been divorced before so heartbreak is nothing new to me but this one is tearing me up. Sorry if this thread sort of went in a different direction

[Ladine]

Kenny.  bad life lesson is called experience. This is just another lesson in life that you would have learned to appreciate your time and life. do not regard this as a negative piece of shit. It's just life.

[Eduard]

I think you really should explore Russia. You will be pleasantly surprised...

[Millaa]

I hope you've done such conclusion not on one phrase and motives sucked from some "advisers" finger. As I said before it could be just insignificant rhyme.

[Halo]

I hope you've done such conclusion not on one phrase and motives sucked from some "advisers"  the finger. As I said before it could be just insignificant rhyme.

I agree with the spirit of your post.  The phrase does have a sort of sarcastic connotation in Ukrainian, Millaa, but it is not mean spirited.  I'm trying to think of an English language equivalent.  Nevertheless, if kenny can change from posting how much they're in love to it's time to move on within the space of a few hours, based on a few posts over one silly phrase, this is not the woman for him.  Or, rather, he is not for her.  No "big love" there.

[kenny2112]

I don't post on the forum too often, I admit. This relationship has been going on for about a year and a half. I don't know many guys that would hang for a year and a half being patient and if I told you all of the story you'd tell me that I've gone above and beyond and done more than most guys would do for a wife when it comes to care and concern for this girl.

Nothing is set in stone and I've gotten some good advice both here and off the board from friends and also someone on the board that seems to understand where I'm coming from so thanks for that ladies... and gent

This thread started out as something innocent. I figured that this was a piece of Ukrainian culture so I wanted to learn about it and understand it. I've been to Ukraine 4 times now. I love the country. I've seen villages, cities, traveled by train and bus. I've had some great experiences and have done and seen things that most Americans never experience. I know Russian well enough to surprise the hell out of people in Ukraine and at Walmart when I hear them talking here in the states.

Since starting this thread, things pretty much blew up so I'm faced with a decision that needs to be made. I'm not happy and she's not happy. Things don't look good and I'm kind of alone here trying to sort out what's going on in her head.

I have no idea how things are going to turn out here. I hope for the best but honestly, I'm about all out of optimism at the moment. It is possible to be in love with someone yet have them not love you back. It sucks but it happens. People's opinions change. I've heard of women that promise to spend their life with you in front of friends, family and God and then change their mind a few years down the road... and then change their mind again after the divorce is done. I hate when that happens

[el_guero]

Ladine,

Did you mean 'feminine?' or 'feminist?'

Feminine is being like a woman.

Feminist is being without a man ....

Ed  is not a correct interpretation. "бо" comes from the word "а то скучаю". This is a typical Ukrainian sarcasm strong lady.

to Kenny - especially the ladies have long been tired of long virtual relationships . and the more time? the more confidence going into the hearts of our women. Russian women are no longer talking about the problems of life. Even our people do not know how to be kind and considerate to those who are ill . In our time more often confronted with violence in the relationship. When you start to cry? others begin to rejoice because you feel bad . We will not show how much it is difficult . we are struggling on their own. We  almost not have a friends because you friend is only when you have something to take. It's hard to become a feminist. but people learn.

[el_guero]

Kenny,

Many western men bring a LOT of baggage to a relationship with FSUW's.

Having said that, you need someone who can help you understand her if you are going to go the distance ..... It is better to know for certain, than to find out later you missed the boat, either direction.

wayne

[kenny2112]

Many western men bring a LOT of baggage to a relationship with FSUW's.

Having said that, you need someone who can help you understand her if you are going to go the distance ..... It is better to know for certain, than to find out later you missed the boat, either direction.

wayne

It's always been my opinion that we're all pretty damaged and broken by the time we reach adulthood. We're all a little quirky. Some of us just hide it better than others or have coping mechanisms to get us through.

You sort of read my mind... I agree that figuring things out or at least seeing how things play out is the direction I'm going to head in. This girl isn't just some girl that I found, targeted as a potential wife/companion/girlfriend. I honestly care about her and she's someone that I let into my life and who has let me into her life. We both started out without expectations and fell in love naturally.

Things might not be going the way that I want... I'm not getting my needs met or hearing the things that I want to hear but as I look back on my life, the only time I've ever failed in a relationship was when I truly quit. Things might not happen the way that I want or imagine or in the time frame that I wanted but they always worked out up the road once I stopped pushing so damn hard. She's a friend first and a good one at that so it's up to me to figure her out or the situation out. She's worth any amount of hell that I might have to go through.

[el_guero]

Kenny,

There are four needs in a relationship:

Love, caring, concern, family.

Lust, sex, usually the least needed of the four primary.  That is why we can love friends and family.

Love, romantic, companionship, usually leads to lust.

spiritual, usually the most neglected.

The other elements we often confuse as important are intellectual, and psychological.  These two can be important, but often they are more about 'compatibility.'  That is more important in a job interview than a true relationship.

But, you need someone to help you decide if it is more loving for you to move apart from each other, or if it is more loving to move closer to each other .....

The problem with romantic love, is it often overshadows the other elements of a relationship ....

Wayne

[Rasputin]

Ladine,

Did you mean 'feminine?' or 'feminist?'

Feminine is being like a woman.

Feminist is being without a man ....

Well, I know more than a few feminists who are happily married 

[kenny2112]

Ladine,

Did you mean 'feminine?' or 'feminist?'

Feminine is being like a woman.

Feminist is being without a man ....

Well, I know more than a few feminists who are happily married 

Yes, in Vermont running Bed and Breakfasts

[NS1]

Ladine,

Did you mean 'feminine?' or 'feminist?'

Feminine is being like a woman.

Feminist is being without a man ....

Well, I know more than a few feminists who are happily married 

they might be married, few could know how happy.
unless living in home and there a long time, most unlikely.

We all know someone who got divorced and all went really.
they seemed the  perfect couple.

[Rasputin]

they might be married, few could know how happy.
unless living in home and there a long time, most unlikely.

We all know someone who got divorced and all went really.
they seemed the  perfect couple.

Some have been married for decades, but I do take your point. However, it is ridiculous to affirm that feminists do not date, do not have relationships with men and do not get married. However, if that is what a man must believe to sleep at night, then I leave him to his delusions 

[NS1]

they might be married, few could know how happy.
unless living in home and there a long time, most unlikely.

We all know someone who got divorced and all went really.
they seemed the  perfect couple.

Some have been married for decades, but I do take your point. However, it is ridiculous to affirm that feminists do not date, do not have relationships with men and do not get married. However, if that is what a man must believe to sleep at night, then I leave him to his delusions 

I agree they date, marry and have kids. Not a big shock.
Likely only difference as the joke goes. whose wearing the pants.
But really, if it works for them, who cares.
each to their own