Babies and real cultural differences

[Eduard]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.
 

[Slumba]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

Eduard, you cover both sides of the questions equally.

Wait 30 minutes and someone will be along to tell you how wrong you are 

[Eduard]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

Eduard, you cover both sides of the questions equally.

Wait 30 minutes and someone will be along to tell you how wrong you are 

That is to be expected 

[Rasputin]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

Yes, and that is why I highlighted that that these were real cultural differences that a couple could actually encounter 

[Manny]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

You do what your intuition tells you is right, and what you feel will make the nipper happy. I always thought that "Don't do this before XYZ month" to be mostly poppycock. Its easy to obsess over details with the first as you are scared to do anything wrong. The reality is that you likely wont do anything wrong that matters. On the second, you are much more relaxed.

The Russian superstitious nonsense I found was easily overcome with logic and comparables. Our daughter wasn't allowed a drink from the fridge for a long time due to superstition (not applicable when she was with me, obviously). Now she can work the ice maker and is miraculously unharmed.

[missAmeno]

If a talk is about babies and cultural differences we should start from beginning ... пеленки (never knew what is the right way to call them in English).
How many of you used them with your kids?
 

[Eduard]

If a talk is about babies and cultural differences we should start from beginning ... пеленки (never knew what is the right way to call them in English).
How many of you used them with your kids?
 

(Attachment Link)

Haha, old school! I have to admit we haven't used them either 

[Halo]

Swaddling blankets, or swaddling cloths.  We did swaddle our babies, though two of the three didn't need it much.

[Ade]

Misha, I mentioned to my wife that you want to put your 4 month old in a stroller because of boredom and she's curious to know what signs you are seeing that make you think she's bored?

It is not that hard to figure it out. She will play quietly for a while. Start playing a bit more rough with her soother or toy, start squirming and it will end up with a screaming baby if we insist on leaving her in the stroller. However, as soon as we take her out, she goes quiet and happily will start turning her head to the left and the right looking at everything 

Ah. And here was me ignorant of the fact that a crying baby equates to boredom.
 

Now, to return to the discussion that I initiated, when a few weeks back my wife started citing citing me all the web sites she was reading saying how a baby girl should NEVER, EVER, EVER be put in anything even close to a sitting position before the age of six months

And like I mentioned not all Russians think that way these days and there's a large movement in the West that, for good reason, do, so I'm not entirely convinced by your generalization on "cultural differences".

[Ade]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

You do what your intuition tells you is right, and what you feel will make the nipper happy. I always thought that "Don't do this before XYZ month" to be mostly poppycock. Its easy to obsess over details with the first as you are scared to do anything wrong. The reality is that you likely wont do anything wrong that matters. On the second, you are much more relaxed.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people that intuitively "do what's right" and end up making a balls up sometimes adversely affecting their kids for life. That's why official bodies make recommendations on things like when to start feeding a baby solids, what to feed, what not to feed, what kind of car seats to use, what kinds of plastics should and shouldn't be used in children's toys, etc, etc. All these recommendations are based on objective research - you know, that science malarkey, that goes beyond "intuition" and superstition.   

[Ade]

Swaddling blankets, or swaddling cloths.  We did swaddle our babies, though two of the three didn't need it much.

Yes, we did too most sleep times, until around 2 months. Probably not entirely the "traditional" way though as that is far too restrictive. Some will scoff but there is a lot of research that indicates a reduction in SIDs incidence among the swaddled - it also helps them sleep and prevent scratching and waking due to some automatic reflexes that young babies have.

[ozybob]

kida are like puppys puppies or kittens 

generally there pretty hardy as you can tell from miss A story about her son

id agree with manny , it isnt that difficult

BOB

[Ade]

kida are like puppys puppies or kittens 

generally there pretty hardy as you can tell from miss A story about her son

id agree with manny , it isnt that difficult

BOB

I could point out several families that I grew up around that made a total cock up of raising their kids, my sister included, even if "it isn't that difficult". Yes, many survive these parents, sometimes surprisingly, but do they attain the full potential that they were born with? I'd say not.

Also, I should mention to my wife that it's okay to drop our daughter on her head as much as she wants because apparently, that's fine - it must be as I heard it from someone on the internet.

[Slumba]

I should mention to my wife that it's okay to drop our daughter on her head as much as she wants because apparently, that's fine - it must be as I heard it on the internet.

You turned out OK.

[Ade]

I should mention to my wife that it's okay to drop our daughter on her head as much as she wants because apparently, that's fine - it must be as I heard it on the internet.

You turned out OK.

Apparently, you didn't.

[ozybob]

ade

how many kids do you have again ??

 where was dropping babys recommended ?

just pointing out kids are pretty hardy ,

and yes it isnt that difficult , im pretty sure anyone can site some incident or another of a family such and such ,

give your kids love and discipline , a good home, good education and lots of positive confident encouragment , teach them to live curiously ,
let them develop within secure guidelines of behaviour and trust

be there best role model ,
most of it is common sense , not that difficult 

BOB

[Ade]

ade

how many kids do you have again ??

One. 8 months. 

My sister has 4 - mostly messed up due to her incompetence doing what comes naturally.

My step-sisters and brothers have combined, at the last count that I remember, although hardly a reliable figure, 11 or 12. Some screwed up, some not.

where was dropping babys recommended ?

No, but apparently they bounce unharmed regardless.

just pointing out kids are pretty hardy ,

Yes, they are, but surviving is not the same as thriving or the same as reaching their full potential.
 

and yes it isnt that difficult , im pretty sure anyone can site some incident or another of a family such and such ,

give your kids love and discipline , a good home, good education and lots of positive confident encouragment , teach them to live curiously ,
let them develop within secure guidelines of behaviour and trust

be there best role model ,
most of it is common sense , not that difficult 

BOB

Some would argue that it's not that difficult to be adequate. Others would say to do your best requires a little more.   

[Eduard]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

You do what your intuition tells you is right, and what you feel will make the nipper happy. I always thought that "Don't do this before XYZ month" to be mostly poppycock. Its easy to obsess over details with the first as you are scared to do anything wrong. The reality is that you likely wont do anything wrong that matters. On the second, you are much more relaxed.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people that intuitively "do what's right" and end up making a balls up sometimes adversely affecting their kids for life. That's why official bodies make recommendations on things like when to start feeding a baby solids, what to feed, what not to feed, what kind of car seats to use, what kinds of plastics should and shouldn't be used in children's toys, etc, etc. All these recommendations are based on objective research - you know, that science malarkey, that goes beyond "intuition" and superstition. 

On the other hand scientists do make a habit of changing their mind on what's good/bad for you every few decades or so. IMO in some cases it may be beneficial to rely on your instincts instead of blindly following the advice that may be considered "bad" in 20 or 30 years. Mother's instinct is a very powerful thing, took millions of years to develop...
How do dogs (or other animals) know how to raise their children? I've had 4 litters of puppies and it's amazing to watch how the mothers know exactly what to do and how to do it: breaking the placenta, making a pup start breathing, cutting the umbilical cord, getting the pup to start suckling... It's amazing to watch how they know exactly what needs to be done. And my dogs don't read Science Digest or any other scientific literature (as far as I know) 

[Rasputin]

If a talk is about babies and cultural differences we should start from beginning ... пеленки (never knew what is the right way to call them in English).
How many of you used them with your kids?
 

(Attachment Link)

Actually, swaddling blankets are coming back. Given that it is not recommended to cover a baby with a blanket, swaddling blankets (with velcro and quite convenient) are not quite often seen as the way to go and you can buy them wherever you buy baby stuff. Now, we use mini sleeping bag for our daughter as she is a bit older.

[2tallbill]

If a talk is about babies and cultural differences we should start from beginning ... пеленки (never knew what is the right way to call them in English).
How many of you used them with your kids?
 

I've never used the baby burrito wrappers. The baby tubs look
handy however.

[Manny]

Obviously these are 2 different schools of thought... good thing is that people in both US and Russia grow up into normal adults in most cases whether they were allowed to sit up before they were 6 months old or not. So in a long run it probably doesn't even matter.

You do what your intuition tells you is right, and what you feel will make the nipper happy. I always thought that "Don't do this before XYZ month" to be mostly poppycock. Its easy to obsess over details with the first as you are scared to do anything wrong. The reality is that you likely wont do anything wrong that matters. On the second, you are much more relaxed.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people that intuitively "do what's right" and end up making a balls up sometimes adversely affecting their kids for life. That's why official bodies make recommendations on things like when to start feeding a baby solids, what to feed, what not to feed, what kind of car seats to use, what kinds of plastics should and shouldn't be used in children's toys, etc, etc. All these recommendations are based on objective research - you know, that science malarkey, that goes beyond "intuition" and superstition. 

What you mean is there are plenty of idiots out there with no common sense; I agree. For those people, they may need guidance on everything through life. Think of the Finn here sending strangers in Ukraine credit cards. Some people have no sense. In an ideal world, that type wouldn't breed at all.

I was actually thinking about normal people with common sense. Not Wayne and Waynetta Slob.

[leslied]

On the other hand scientists do make a habit of changing their mind on what's good/bad for you every few decades or so. IMO in some cases it may be beneficial to rely on your instincts instead of blindly following the advice that may be considered "bad" in 20 or 30 years. Mother's instinct is a very powerful thing, took millions of years to develop...

Agreed Dr. Spock has a lot to answer for 

Strange how you tend to obsess about the first baby.  We didn't have mother's in law so the advice came in from "friends" and of course the stuff you tend to read or buy.  You end up being so cautious   

We also argued a lot about what was "best".  Should we let her cry herself to sleep or spend hours walking her around? Now while all this is happening our baby turns into a rug rat all by herself...     This teaches you to take all these "approaches/methods" with a large dose of scepticism. 

Then the "terrible twos" arrive.  Tamara was completely ace at throwing temper tantrums in the most embarrassing places - like Sainsbury's check out, or in the street. Of course the "experts" tell you ignore this behavior,  but in practice you can't.  LOL!  So you just cope like every other parent.

By the time Isla came along we were battle hardened veterans.  No books, no arguing, we had become effective parents - the hard way!  Things went much smoother second time around.  Now when people offered advice they were told to shut up.  We raise our kids our way!  Life was much easier. 

Raising kids presents a constant series of challenges.  Be consistent and maintain your values.  Quitting isn't allowed.  I reckon it will get worse when they grow to be teenagers.  By that time I aim to morph from parent to friend but who knows?  We might all have changed by then...

[Halo]

Then the "terrible twos" arrive.  Tamara was completely ace at throwing temper tantrums in the most embarrassing places - like Sainsbury's check out, or in the street. Of course the "experts" tell you ignore this behavior,  but in practice you can't.  LOL!  So you just cope like every other parent.

Temper tatrums are, I believe, a child's frustration at not being able to communicate.  Both hubby and I could watch our kids thrash about on the floor until they wore themselves out.  There was only one, or in one case, two temper tatrums, because after that, they realized they didn't work.

I do not agree you can be a teen's friend.  They think they are grown up, in many ways, they are, but in many other ways, you still see the immaturity.  They are more exasperating than toddlers, their emotions are all over the place, and the consequences are more high stake.  And, I post this as a parent whose teens are honour students and generally well behaved.

[Muzh_1]

Then the "terrible twos" arrive.  Tamara was completely ace at throwing temper tantrums in the most embarrassing places - like Sainsbury's check out, or in the street. Of course the "experts" tell you ignore this behavior,  but in practice you can't.  LOL!  So you just cope like every other parent.

Temper tatrums are, I believe, a child's frustration at not being able to communicate.  Both hubby and I could watch our kids thrash about on the floor until they wore themselves out.  There was only one, or in one case, two temper tatrums, because after that, they realized they didn't work.

I do not agree you can be a teen's friend. They think they are grown up, in many ways, they are, but in many other ways, you still see the immaturity.  They are more exasperating than toddlers, their emotions are all over the place, and the consequences are more high stake.  And, I post this as a parent whose teens are honour students and generally well behaved.

Boy, how many times I told my children I could not afford to be their friend. I always told them I was their father, period. However, they could and should feel free to talk to me about anything with the understanding that the person listening was their father and not a bud.

Their mother on the other hand was more than happy to be their friend. (I'm talking about my older children) And she got what she asked for.

I wish you would hear how they talk to their mother and what they do NOT talk about.

And then listen to them talking to me and about what.

I remember reading somewhere if you wanted to know if you were a successful parent, listen how your children describe you to their friends. 

[NS1]

Then the "terrible twos" arrive.  Tamara was completely ace at throwing temper tantrums in the most embarrassing places - like Sainsbury's check out, or in the street. Of course the "experts" tell you ignore this behavior,  but in practice you can't.  LOL!  So you just cope like every other parent.

Temper tatrums are, I believe, a child's frustration at not being able to communicate.  Both hubby and I could watch our kids thrash about on the floor until they wore themselves out.  There was only one, or in one case, two temper tatrums, because after that, they realized they didn't work.

I do not agree you can be a teen's friend.  They think they are grown up, in many ways, they are, but in many other ways, you still see the immaturity.  They are more exasperating than toddlers, their emotions are all over the place, and the consequences are more high stake.  And, I post this as a parent whose teens are honour students and generally well behaved.

Curious, the well behaved I get, Does this also translate to honor students? o
Or does this give them something else I am missing?