My time with Ms. Novosibirsk

[Ward_Cleaver]

"Masha Rusty Russia"  What?  "Маша-Растеряша, it is a story about a little girl who looses her things. That is me."  I smile.  What a sweetheart.  This girl has traveled from the other side of the earth to see me here in America and this is what she has to say at 3:00 in the morning when she has lost all of her things?  Wow!  I am impressed.  We make our way to the extended stay and, needless to say, we are both very tired.  I show her the room and she takes a shower as I relax on the bed.  She comes out looking great.  I give her a hug and explain that I got this room for her to relax and rest after her long travel.  I ask her if she would like me to stay or leave her to rest.  She says, "As you would like."  I tell her I would very much like to stay.  I climb into bed and I am out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.  I assume that after all she has been through she is even more tired than me.

My phone is ringing.  I am confused and fumble for it in the dark.  "Hello?"  Someone I don't know is speaking to me in English but with an accent so I respond in my best Russian.  That didn't work so I try again in my best Spanish.  This isn't working.  What is doing on?  Who am I talking to?  I pull the phone away from me to see who I am talking to.  It is from Ms. Novosibirsk ... but she is sleeping next to me.  Wait, I remember now, she lost her phone at the airport.  This is important!  Wake up and figure out what is going on!  She needs her phone and it is up to you to deal with this right now.  I speak very clearly to the person on the phone to understand what is going on.  I learn that the lady I am talking to is an airport employee who found the phone in the women's restroom.  Rather than just handing the phone over to security she decided to try to do her best to return it to the rightful owner.  She called me because my number was in the recent call log from when we were trying to locate the phone.  I thank her profusely for her effort and arrange to meet her at the airport when we come to pick up the luggage.  I learn that she is from India and does not speak either Russian or Spanish.  I explain the situation to Ms. Novosibirsk who is relieved to know her phone has been located and that I have arranged to get it at the airport when we pick up her luggage.  We both fall back asleep.

[Eduard]

So far so good! Except now you know that you also have to learn Hindi! 

[Eduard]

You did the right thing by staying with her when she said: "as you like". Sleeping in the same bed but not pushing intimacy is a very good thing to do. If you would have left her she would probably assume that you weren't interested in her other than "friends only".

[andrewfi]

See, told you about the bed thing.
Oh you doubters. 

This is something that many of you guys need to get to grips with.

[Muzh_1]

See, told you about the bed thing.
Oh you doubters. 

This is something that many of you guys need to get to grips with.

Said the man with two women in his bed. 

Definitely you guys should listen to this guy. (Notice I was in agreement)

Carry on, you sly dog. 

[Ward_Cleaver]

Really? October 4th? That was over two months ago! I didn't even make it 24 hours into my time with Mrs. Novosibirsk. And now I can't sleep. All I can think about is this thread for some reason.  So I will write. I will make no pretensions about finishing this story. I will just write.

[Ward_Cleaver]

It is bright and sunny.  And it is time to get up.  There should be plenty of time to go to the airport for the phone, return, and still make it to my Russian class on time.  But no time to spare.  I nudge Ms. Novosibirsk to wake her.  I tell her it is time to go get her phone.  It takes us a while to find the kind Indian woman who found the phone last night.  She tells us that she found it in the women bathroom where we suspected it was left.  She tells us that she was going to give it to security but thought it would be more likely to be returned to the rightful owner if she did it herself.  I am reminded of things I've lost at airport never to see again.  To bad there are not more people in the world like this.  As we make our way back to the car Mrs. Novosibirsk sees that there were phone calls placed to her mother in Novosibirsk and her brother in Moscow.  Apparently the Indian lady made a few calls in her attempt to return the phone.  Her brother already knew she was making this trip.  Now it looks like her mother knows as well.

We make it back to the extended stay and I tell her that there is food in the lobby for her when she wakes up and that I will be shortly after class.  I suspect she is tired and will need more sleep.  I grab a few things to eat in the lobby as I dash off to school.  When I come back from school I look forward to seeing by Siberian beauty in the room but she is not there.  I wonder down to the lobby but I do not see her anywhere.  I ask the receptionist if she remembers seeing a beautiful, tall, redheaded Russian woman.  The receptionist only tells me that she can not provide information about the guests.  Oh brother, you've got to be kidding me.  I wonder outside to look for her but can not find her anywhere.  I assume that she has gone for a walk for what ever reason and decide to lay on the lawn and wait for her.  I see her coming up the road and walk toward her to meet her.  She explains that she slept through the continental breakfast and wandered to the nearest gas station for a coffee and something to eat.  It is just good to see her and know that she is alright.  We make our way back up to the room and I ask her if she would like to continue to stay here or move into my place with me.

[Ward_Cleaver]

I live in a shit hole.  I purchased this home with the notion that I would fix it up and live in it while I built my dream home on the one acre lot I own.  Then I would just keep it as a rental.  I believed that it would take me about a year to renovate it.  A year has come and gone and I am still living in the 10 foot by 15 foot "office" that I have built in the basement out of left over materials I scavenged from the main floor.  I call it an "office" because the home had been condemned by the city before I bought it so my official story is that it is my "office".

But I live here and I am proud it.  It has hot and cold running water, electricity, and natural gas, everything I need to live comfortably.  I formed some walls by hanging some left over carpet from the existing walls.  I reused the cabinets, counter tops, and sink from the kitchen upstairs.  I reused the toilet from the bathroom upstairs but bought a new sink from IKEA that I liked because of how it made efficient use of space.  I will keep this sink here in the basement when I do it right.  I reused paneling form the walls upstairs to cover the ceiling but not before insulating it and the walls.  The only window in my living space was broken and covered over with plywood but replaced it and all the other windows in the basement shortly after I moved in.  It only took me a couple weekends to through this thing together and besides the sink the only things I had to purchase was a new hot water heater and a natural gas fireplace I found on craigslist.  Both of these run of natural gas with was never disconnected but my electricity comes from the 92 year old neighbor next to me via an extension cord for which I donate $50 a month toward her bill.  This electricity is distributed by power strips and additional extension cords.

So I have one room that serves as the kitchen, office, bedroom, etc.  I also have a very small bathroom with a hinged door that is mounted upside down so the door know is very high.  It was the only one I could find in the house that was the right size but it hinged the wrong way so I mounted it upside down.  It is an interesting conversation piece for visitors.  Visitors often tell me that it has the cozy feel of a mountain cabin.  The closet is separated from the main room with by an old purple blanket.  The main door into my "office" is a pocket door with the words "No girls allowed!" written with a black marker in my hand writing.  The rest of my basement is full of boxes from my storage unit.

If you can't tell, I am very proud of my temporary living space and how I was able to put it together with very little time and money.  The main level of home is taking me a lot longer than I expected because I soon realized everything would need to be gutted down to the main load bearing walls.  And even those would need to be modified to accommodate the new floor plan.  The ceiling in the main front area has been vaulted and new wiring, plumbing, gas lines, etc will be installed. I'm doing this thing right.  But I realize that most people do not share my vision, enthusiasm, and appreciation for doing things right.  Rather, they see an almost 40 year old man living in a shit hole basement, something analogous to "living in a van down by the river".  I'm usually not really very concerned about what other people think because I've spent significant time living in tack rooms of horse barns at the race track.  But what is Ms. Novosibirsk going to think about this? I've read online about how materialistic these women from the former Soviet Union are.  I want her to know and accept me for who I am but, to be honest, I am scared of the feelings of rejection and regret that may follow when she sees this.

[Eduard]

Don't do it, Ward! This has nothing to do with being "materialistic". Have the place fixed up before you bring any woman there.

[andrewfi]

Don't do it, Ward! This has nothing to do with being "materialistic". Have the place fixed up before you bring any woman there.

Too late Ed, this is a story that happened many months ago. I agree with the sentiment though. Whatever she might say to Ward it is hard to imagine that she would see this in a positive light.

[Larry]

what is Ms. Novosibirsk going to think about this?

Don't do it, Ward! This has nothing to do with being "materialistic". Have the place fixed up before you bring any woman there.

Eduard and Andrew are right.  This girl isn't from a rundown and isolated village.  She will likely be shocked at the thought of living in such a place. Isn't there anything else you can do, such as renting another place and living there when she arrives?  Even if you have to do something drastic like selling a kidney.

[Eduard]

what is Ms. Novosibirsk going to think about this?

Don't do it, Ward! This has nothing to do with being "materialistic". Have the place fixed up before you bring any woman there.

Eduard and Andrew are right.  This girl isn't from a rundown and isolated village.  She will likely be shocked at the thought of living in such a place. Isn't there anything else you can do, such as renting another place and living there when she arrives?  Even if you have to do something drastic like selling a kidney.

Even if she was from a rundown village she wouldn't leave her family, friends, her entire support system behind to live in this conditions. A woman wants security for herself and her offspring, she needs to feel that she can raise a family in a place she will be living at. If she is attractive and smart she also understands that she has options. Bringing her to a place like that would most likely mean the end of this budding relationship in most cases. Rent an apartment if you have to, and if a man can't afford to do that, can he really afford to have a family? Not talking about Ward here (I don't know his financial situation), just in general.

[sparky114]

You are all too late this happened 2 months ago ...... So you will have to wait before you chirp in
 

[Slumba]

I have admiration for a guy that is himself not materialistic and is used to roughing it.  At the same time, I admit I am not sure what a woman would think of the situation - I guess it depends on whether she thinks the current state of disarray is temporary or not.

[andrewfi]

Hey Ward, don't leave us hanging!

BTW, for Americans who have problems with English. Just as with the words 'you lot' used elsewhere to describe that group of men who self identify as being part of a particular and described group; the word 'us' does not mean everybody; it is not all inclusive. In this context, 'us' is that group of people who are interested in finding out what happened next.

[Millaa]

Get married urgently!
Otherwise, one day you'll realize that you live in the same hole, and you are 70 already 

[d672]

Get married urgently!
Otherwise, one day you'll realize that you live in the same hole, and you are 70 already 

 I agree, if she is anything like my wife you'll be renovating as soon as she unpacks her suitcase!   

[AvHdB]

My home is also not exactly perfect and I am playing general contractor and deal with an architect friend who is stubborn and has terminal cancer. At present also ruffing it trying to get the carriage house livable. One person's castle is another person's dump (or shit hole). I am not worried what others think.

. . . electricity comes from the 92 year old neighbor next to me via an extension cord for which I donate $50 a month toward her bill.  This electricity is distributed by power strips and additional extension cords.

How many watts or amps are you using?

Get married urgently!
Otherwise, one day you'll realize that you live in the same hole, and you are 70 already 

Mila with her usual subtle style hits the nail on the head (sorry could not resist).

But your reality is and it will hold true to women around the world very few will want to live in such situations as you describe. This is your dream or folly and it will be a tough sell.  I admire your resourcefullnessbut 99.9% of the women will run from what they see as the reality.

[Donhollio]

 I agree, if she is anything like my wife you'll be renovating as soon as she unpacks her suitcase!   

 I think of it this way, she's trying to purge the past spirits former sexmates from her new home. Your situation is the reversal of mine for the most part. I'm the one pushing for changes, and she just wants cosmetic stuff done. I dunno, something about taking forever and living in dust just doesn't appeal to her.   

 Ward spit out another post soon please, many of us are interested in your story. 

[BelleZeBoob]

I'm usually not really very concerned about what other people think because I've spent significant time living in tack rooms of horse barns at the race track.  But what is Ms. Novosibirsk going to think about this? I've read online about how materialistic these women from the former Soviet Union are.  I want her to know and accept me for who I am but, to be honest, I am scared of the feelings of rejection and regret that may follow when she sees this.[/size][/font][/color]

It all depends on what kind of person she is, and whether the life goals of the both of you coincide.

On my part, I would probably tolerate some temporary bad living condition in case there is a realistic opportunity to improve them in the near future, and the chance of the improvement is realistic. If I face a choice of living in a really harsh conditions for a while in order to be able to work towards something really better in the future, I would do it. A temporary sacrifice is allright if the goal justifies it. I all comes down to whether your prospect shares your views.

[andrewfi]

I agree with Belle, that is a reasonable and sensible approach.

However that means that somebody is going to get asked some hard questions about how long the place has been like this and how long it will be until the work is either under way or finished

The honest answers that might be given by Ward would probably not inspire confidence. However as this is a story in the past tense and not a diary of current events I bet Ward already has the answers and I hope that things went as well for him as he seems to want.

[BelleZeBoob]

I agree with Belle, that is a reasonable and sensible approach.

However that means that somebody is going to get asked some hard questions about how long the place has been like this and how long it will be until the work is either under way or finished

The honest answers that might be given by Ward would probably not inspire confidence. However as this is a story in the past tense and not a diary of current events I bet Ward already has the answers and I hope that things went as well for him as he seems to want.

The OP would be better prepared to present her with a realistic plan that includes information on what he is and what is his potential, and what do his plans for the future look like. If his potential to provide for the family looks good enough for her, in the best case scenario, she would be willing to contribute.

[rosco]

Nice read Ward. Now don't be shy and give us our fix.

I'd personally find it difficult to do what you did, whether that's pride or vanity I don't know but good luck to you.

[Eduard]

I agree with Belle, that is a reasonable and sensible approach.

However that means that somebody is going to get asked some hard questions about how long the place has been like this and how long it will be until the work is either under way or finished

The honest answers that might be given by Ward would probably not inspire confidence. However as this is a story in the past tense and not a diary of current events I bet Ward already has the answers and I hope that things went as well for him as he seems to want.

The OP would be better prepared to present her with a realistic plan that includes information on what he is and what is his potential, and what do his plans for the future look like. If his potential to provide for the family looks good enough for her, in the best case scenario, she would be willing to contribute.

I agree, this would be a good approach and would work for SOME women.

[Ward_Cleaver]

"Did you have a monkey?"  What!?  "Zee banana boxes! Did you feed them to your monkey?"  Oh that.    No, those are my things that I have not unpacked from my last move.  There is an abundance of banana boxes freely available from the grocery stores that can be had and used for moving.  But what she may not understand is that the contents of some of those boxes have not seen the light of day from many YEARS.  My life has been a bit of a circus since the first divorce.  But that is perhaps another story for another day.

I give her a brief tour of my small living space and show her the space I have made for her things in my closet.  I have moved my clothes and personal items out of my closet and into the general storage area outside of the living space.  She makes herself and home and I set out to plan the rest of our day together.  Then overall plan is to leave for the Grand Canyon tomorrow morning, but there is MUCH to do.  I have two full sets of hiking equipment that I normally use for me and a guest when needed.  But as is often the case, I can not find what I need in my "banana boxes".  So I made the decision to just buy two new full sets of equipment.  I rationalize this by telling myself that I will use it with my daughters in the near future when they come to visit me.  Besides, you can't beat the price of the things I found at Walmart.  I know, I know, years ago I would have cringed at the notion of pretending to find quality backpacking gear at Walmart.  But this stuff is cheap enough to take a gamble on.  But I am still picky enough that I don't just buy what I see in the isle.  I go online and look at all of the options and read many reviews.  But this requires me to wait for the equipment to arrive and it is due in today, the day before we leave.  I feel bad dragging her around doing things that I feel should have been done in preparation before she arrives.  But she doesn't seem to mind.  In fact she finds the size of Walmart and the wide variety of things available in one store fascinating.

But today is Thursday and this is the day I teach my fencing class.  I used to hold the classes in a ballroom dance studio I am affiliated with, but competition with the dancers for time in the studio has force me to either hold the class Saturday mornings or look for a new place.  My weekends are precious to me so I chose to relocate.  It was springtime so I chose to move outdoors to a tennis court that I know I can count on being available because one of the posts used to hold up the net is missing.  I used duct tape to mark my lines and adapted my scoring equipment to be more portable.  I see this as a bit of a "ghetto" solution so I lower my rate from $60/month to $20/month and call it my summer special.  I am not doing this for money and I no longer have to pay rent for my place.  None of my students mind.  I will deal with winter when it comes.

My students generally fall into two categories.  Those who have been with me for a while and newbies who are there on a discounted promotion such as Groupon or City Deals.  So I usually break the class into two groups and have my assistant coach teach the newbies.  But I switch this time because I want to teach Ms. Novosibirsk myself.  For the first hour we go over the basics; posture, stance, footwork, holding the weapon. attacks, and parries.  I see that Ms. Novosibirsk is impressed with and attracted to how I command the class and teach with authority and compassion for the new students.  The second half of the class is open fencing on the scoring equipment I have built myself out of the Raspberry Pi.  I have since abandoned this design for a more elegant solution involving an arduino nano and an Android, and as much as I would LOVE to explain the details of that I will spare you.  I am reminded of a saying my ex-wife would use often, "I'm an engineer and even I think what he talks about sometimes is boring."

So we move on to the second hour of the class and I enjoy bouting with my students.  She sees that I can very easily beat even my best students and assistant coach.  But rather than just beating them it I use these opportunities to strengthen my students game by pointing out their weakness and providing them with alternates methods and strategies.  I try to match up my students with partners who are similar in ability and I am impressed overall with Ms. Novosibirsk.  I enjoy fencing with Ms. Novosibirsk.  This is an opportunity for her to feel for herself my abilities with my sword.  She feels how I am able to touch her anywhere I want, when I want, and that any efforts on her part to deflect my desires are futile.  She feels that I am strong with my sword but that do not need to rely on force, but rather I can accomplish what ever I want with smooth, eloquent motions.  She also gets to see a playful side of me, where I do random things that make her smile and laugh.  I let her get a few touches in here and there but I make her work for them so that they are all the more rewarding to her.  And of course I compliment her when she does well.  I see that all of these things are attracting her to me.  She feels safe with me.  After the lesson we clean up my equipment and go home where I resume the foreplay that was begun on the tennis court.  The highlight for me is seeing her eyes roll back into her head as I commit myself to the final act of ... and the camera drifts its attention toward something else like the fire in the fireplace and you get to imagine things for yourself.