Just booked my flight for first trip to Kiev

[557chris]

I was hoping to get a little travel advice.  Like many, I have been searching for a good woman for a little while now.  I have talked to some nice women and some beautiful pictures of Borris.  About 3 weeks ago, I took the recommendation of a member here and joined a pay by month site, Ukrainedate.com.   As far as the site goes, I will give it high marks. Yes, the scammers are there, but I found as long as I searched in my age range and realistic looks, the girls were 70% of the time real and sincere. It didn't take long for me to find a woman who met my criteria, was interested in me, and had a connection with.  After just a few days of emails, we began to skype almost every day.  Everything has gone really well, and we are really getting to know one another much better.  I think we all would agree that skype is no match for face time,  so I booked my flight today which leaves at the end of August.   
   So soon I am headed to Kiev to meet a nice woman.  I would appreciate anyone's advice regarding the travel aspect of this trip, and general advice on our first meeting. The woman I am meeting does have a 5 year old son, so gift advise for him and her would be welcomed. I am unsure if I will meet any of her family on this trip, but advise regarding the possibility of meeting her parents wouldn't hurt either. 

Thank you in advance to all that reply.
Chris 

[Larry]

It's great that you're taking your first trip to visit a FSUW.

I would pick up some small gifts for the parents.  If they live in or near Kiev, there is a pretty good chance you'll be meeting them.  And when you do go to their house, also bring over some small cake or something similar.  There are a lot of good threads here on customs that are important when visiting the homes of people in FSU.  One example is that when you enter the home you should take your shoes off just after you enter.

As far as gifts for the girl you're visiting, something small is usually appropriate. A lot of guys bring souvenir-type gifts from their areas.  A New Yorker might bring a little statue of liberty, or a Canadian guy who lives outside Toronto or Vancouver might bring a miniature toilet, indicating he has indoor plumbing at home.  I made that last one up, because all the Canadian guys who regularly participate here have a good sense of humor.   Some guys bring a very modest gift of earrings or a necklace, costume jewelry (jewelry with semi-precious stones at this point probably is not a good idea).

As for a gift recommendation for the five year old son, I've had good luck with toy cars.  At that age he can operate a remote-controlled car.

There are very useful threads on details to remember when you're travelling to FSU.  It's well worth it to look at them.  But one thing I will point out here is to be sure to call your bank/credit card issuer before you go to let them know you  will be in Ukraine on the given dates. If you do not do this, it's very likely they will reject your card when you attempt to use it,  thinking it's fraud.

If she will not be with you all the time, then it might be worthwhile to get a Russian phrasebook and learn the Cyrillic alphabet.  The former will be helpful to deal with taxi drivers, waiters, etc. if they speak no English, while the latter will be helpful in reading signs.

Enjoy your trip.  If all goes well, discuss with her a plan to get together again in the not too distant future.

[MBS01]

Welcome to the travelled few Chris:
It is always good to know one is actually making a trip and not just chating online, etc.  As to things to take:

For yourself: A good pair of comfortable slippers as you will be expected to leave your shoes at the door.  Even if you have your own apartment or hotel room it is a good custom to take care of yourself.  For example if you have a large foot size the offered guest slippers may not fit!  (Been there and done that too.)

Are you both meeting and staying in Kiev?  Does the lady live there, or only meeting and spending time with you there?  As many have said it is best early on to visit and meet her on her own turf in her own city to better assess how she reacts towards you with family and friends etc.

If you are comfortable telling us a little more then I expect you will receive better  responses to your questions.  Good Luck and enjoy the FSU Adventure as it begins for you soon in the FSU.  Wes.

[Zachris]

I can tell you what I did gift wise for my first trip.

Since my trips takes about two days (of not being in communication) I arranged to have flowers sent to her the day before I arrived. The message on the card was something like: I want to be able to greet you with flowers, but was not sure if I could buy them when I arrive at the airport.

I also bought a box of chocolates for her at the duty free shop during one of my layovers. Maybe a bigger box of chocolates will be enough to include the boy.

I did not have to deal with children on my trip, so my advice here may not be very good. But, I know some women can be very hinky about people giving gifts to their child. That is why I am thinking that a box of candy that mother and son can share will be safe.

Good luck on your trip.

[557chris]

I appreciate the tips so far. I have no problems sharing more information, but I'm unsure as to which details might help.  She grew up in Tashkent, moved to Moscow with her ex-husband, and landed in Kiev after the divorce.  Her parents are living in the country side now about an 1:30 outside of Kiev, so I am unsure if I will be visiting them.  While talking one day, I told her that I would be happy to meet her parents, but she didn't exactly ask me to nor did she say that she would like me to after I said that.  That seems to be determined later to me; however, I don't want to be caught unprepared either. By the time I get to Kiev, we will have known each other for about 3 months, but for now only 3 weeks. Also, I will only be in Ukraine for a short time, a week.  I don't want to over analyze the parents issue, but if she doesn't introduce me to her parents, should I take that as a bad sign?

[d672]

 Welcome Chris, good to hear that you found someone who made you decide to take a trip!

 I wouldn't necessarily take it as a bad sign if she doesn't introduce you to them, some girls are just more cautious than others and she might want to wait until another trip to do it.  But if you get there and really connect I wouldn't be afraid to mention that it would be important to you that you met them. Even if she still isn't ready to introduce you she will respect the fact that you want to and will know that family is important to you. Good Luck!

[mendeleyev]

While talking one day, I told her that I would be happy to meet her parents, but she didn't exactly ask me to nor did she say that she would like me to after I said that....I will only be in Ukraine for a short time, a week.  I don't want to over analyze the parents issue, but if she doesn't introduce me to her parents, should I take that as a bad sign?

Personally, I would expect to do so and in fact might not do the trip without it.

At this point it's not about scammer status, but about the fact that they'll figure in her decision making process, and you wouldn't want someone to have a "vote" (and they most certain will, with or without you) without the opportunity first to evaluate for your own decision, but equally important the chance to represent your case to everyone involved in a final decision.

She may be hesitant to introduce parents until meeting face to face but personally I'd work thru that and make it so before stepping foot on a plane. Position it from the approach of how excited you are to honour her family. 1.5 hours away is plenty of time even in a week.

Advice regarding parents, see this: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=1725.msg19919#msg19919

[AvHdB]

Welcome to RUA,

Bring some gifts for woman and child simple and American, perhaps a small bottle of Maple Syrup or good quality Cheddar Cheese from America (vacuum seal this - you do not want you whitey tighties smelling of cheese). Lego works well or similar. Perhaps bring a Calvin and Hobbes book with you.

Relax and do not get to worried about the parents. Women tend to make there own choices but they will listen to there parents opinions.

AvHdB

[557chris]

AvHdB, thanks for the gift ideas.  The Legos is a great one! It sounds like that will fit her son pretty well. I do want to ask about the maple syrup and sharp cheddar.  I saw that you posted this on another thread today, and I am curious now.  Why these two items? You must have some personal experience with this?

[557chris]

mendeleyev, I appreciate the post about the parents. I'm not leaving until the end of August, so I have time to plant the seed.  At this point, my opinion has changed a bit though. Before I had thought that she may not have told her parents about me, and I might not meet them. Now, I know that she has told them about me and I am thinking that I will meet them.  Technically she has an apartment in Kiev that is undergoing construction, so she really is living with her parents.  We speak on Skype almost every day for an hour or two, and occasionally I'll see her parents walk by the monitor and glance over while we talk.  No introductions yet, but I'll be surprised it that doesn't happen before I even get there.
Chris

[AvHdB]

AvHdB, thanks for the gift ideas.  The Legos is a great one! It sounds like that will fit her son pretty well. I do want to ask about the maple syrup and sharp cheddar.  I saw that you posted this on another thread today, and I am curious now.  Why these two items? You must have some personal experience with this?

Maple syrup is basically unknown in The Ukraine though I suspect in the East of Ukraine there might be Maple trees that can now produce syrup. It is typical and represenative from North America, it goes over real well on Russian Crepe's.

Cheese that is widely available in the former Soviet Union is tasteless. The better Cheddar's have a great flavour and will be appreciated.

[Cameron]

Hi,

Well being married to a FSUW has told me a great deal that they gretly appreciate the small things in life. Take her something shinny but it does not need to be overly expensive either OK.

Food Stuff's, unless it's the kind of candy we have at home, dont bother as the food stuff available is wide ranging and generally of good quality, that includes the cheeses and that comes from a man that does not really eat cheese, my Good Lady knows all about cheese (she ran her own businesses only recently passing them on as she's due move to the UK real soon).  They very much like their own tastes with that regard and I have to say I was impressed by the interesting and tasty flavours I have encounted there, yes I now eat good quality cheese after being re-introduced to them by my other half.

For kinds of that age, well toy car's or lego always a winner 

Kiev is a beautiful city, been there a few times myself and really enjoyed it. Take a river trip and explore the streets, there are many wonderful top quality cafe's around that will surprise you and also places to eat that cost next to nothing too, which the locals use all the time and its real local tasty food which you will enjoy.

Sound advice about telling your bank your visiting Ulraine too.  But take cash Euro's or US Dollars as you can exchange almost anywhere and the rates are really competive too.  Try not to use your card if you can, cash is easier and safer to start with OK. Cash in smallish amount too so your not left with local currency in your wallet. 

You staying in hotel or rented apartment?  Hotels are costly but apartments are a good deal and provide all you need too (maybe next time when you return to see her again  ).

Oh and some of them shops in the city centre are expensive even to us westerns.

Take a small camera with you too.

I found FSUW are grearly cultured too, so the Opera is a good possibility too, ask her and perhaps take a trip there in the evening together, if she is into that she will love it when she takes you 

Anyway, I hope you have arranged transport from the airport (maybe she has arranged it for you in advance??) The 'taxi's there are a rip off so becarful as its a fair distance from the city centre.

If you get chance take a turn on the islands in the river, beaches are great and a BBQ can make a great afternoon time together there too.

Well I hope that helps a little OK.

lets hear how you get on.

Best wishes.

[JayH]

Great post Cameron -excellent advice and knowledge!
Credit Cards ---   here in Australia we can purchase   a Visa Card from Australia Post-- called Load & Go.
It is a debit card you can operate over the internet to transfer funds to at a max of  $1000 & up to $5000 in any month. You can see details on website.
It works worldwide-- issued to "Valued Customer" -- it has pin and sign facility. It is in fact a debit card  with the Visa Card acceptance everywhere.They work in Ukraine.You can top up via internet from anywhere.
It is ideal where you are concerned about security .Excellent as back up card (  card will be ok one day and not work the next-- it happens) .You can draw cash on it at most banks and ATM's..
Also ideal gift that makes international transfers cheap( $3 per $100) and is done at market rate.
I am sure other countries will have soon--if not now (UK?).Much better than carrying too much cash.
It really is a great idea.
No commercial affiliation !!

[Herrie]

Great post Cameron -excellent advice and knowledge!
Credit Cards ---   here in Australia we can purchase   a Visa Card from Australia Post-- called Load & Go.
It is a debit card you can operate over the internet to transfer funds to at a max of  $1000 & up to $5000 in any month. You can see details on website.
It works worldwide-- issued to "Valued Customer" -- it has pin and sign facility. It is in fact a debit card  with the Visa Card acceptance everywhere.They work in Ukraine.You can top up via internet from anywhere.
It is ideal where you are concerned about security .Excellent as back up card (  card will be ok one day and not work the next-- it happens) .You can draw cash on it at most banks and ATM's..
Also ideal gift that makes international transfers cheap( $3 per $100) and is done at market rate.
I am sure other countries will have soon--if not now (UK?).Much better than carrying too much cash.
It really is a great idea.
No commercial affiliation !!

UK, France, US, NL got them already, I know this from personal experience. They go by different names, sometimes under the Visa Electron brand for example. The principle is the same.

Another good thing is that you pay (or paid) no credit card fees with Ryanair for example when you use a prepaid Mastercard

[d672]

UK, France, US, NL got them already, I know this from personal experience. They go by different names, sometimes under the Visa Electron brand for example. The principle is the same.

Another good thing is that you pay (or paid) no credit card fees with Ryanair for example when you use a prepaid Mastercard

 That would be handy, it costs me $5.00 per transaction with my bank card!