Portrait of a failed romantic relationship in Kiev.

[Qi Peng]

It's interesting to note that many here will post a success story but honestly, finding a Russian woman to be with is a trial and error process in fact. I figure that it would be apropos to learn from what doesn't work and try to become better at working towards a stronger and better relationship.

The original trip report:

"Looks like my friend just returned back Kiev. Not quite disappointed although his expectations for getting the K-1 visa was a little too high. Seems like L has a high level of interest in him but she wants to wait things out a little. In fact, she is planning to visit New York City on my friend's birthday (5/30) this year. That's not a long time at all.

Of course, the K-1 process wasn't something I was expecting even though he was. I could discern a little bit of disappointment but he is standing firm by her side and wants to be patient doing whatever it takes to be with her.

Conclusions:

The restaurants in Kiev apparently are fairly mediocre according to him. He said that it wasn't cheaper and about the same price as the US. He isn't a big eater.

He said that being in Kiev wasn't anything different from being in New York City at all except for the language. He said that a subway token is only 50 kopecs, much cheaper than the $2 fare in NYC Metro. Based on the exchange rate of 5 hyrivnas to 1 dollar, that made a trip on the Kiev subway only 10 cents. He went to a ballet at one of the opera houses. Watched a bunch of movies, and spending quite a bit of time looking at his family history on his macbook computer. He played the piano for her which was her source of entertainment.

Two main historical sites visited were: the National Cathedral in Kiev (downtown I think?) and Independence Square. They watched Eurovision 2005 DVD and turned out that she was an awesome singer accordingly. My friend was rather nervous but everything turned out fine. He spent a lot of time discussing Ukranian politics with her. Apparently some major politician over there was accused of gang rape. L said that it was major compared to the nothings of the former President Clinton. According to my friend E, they seem to be a lot more liberal over there which is perfect for him. Apparently seeing the Macbook excited L very much relative to her "boring" computer with XP + Ukrainian language.

She works in customer support (phone) for the consulate in Kiev so that was rather perfunctory, I suppose. Apparently there is some chemistry especially with the fact that both of them are good musicians, but E is realizing slowly that this isn't a process to be rushed and what not.

At least, L will be here in the States in a few months. And we will see how that goes?...

UPDATE:

Looks like L knows all about E very well including the more controversial aspects of his personality. She isn't ready to jump into anything however and L plans to visit here in NYC for his birthday.

I had a serious discussion about L with E when he got back but apparently, L is fairly happy with all of E's quirks. So I guess that matter is settled. But she isn't ready to jump into marriage yet and she had to stop E from talking or mentioning engagement until she felt psychologically ready.

The ending is that L plans to visit E in late May when she wants to surprise him for his birthday. I guess that I will be booking my tickets out to NYC for an early summer trip accordingly.

Of course, I have no clue what's going to happen.

FURTHER UPDATE:

Also, it looks like my friend won't need to do the K-1 process at all. She has a visa that allows her to travel freely to various European countries so basically she won't have a problem traveling here to the States at all. After all, she does customer service at the Kiev consulate so things could be a lot easier.

So no K-1 process. E is thinking just let her come and whenever she wants to get married, then it happens I guess. Of course, first she inspects his lifestyle."

[Qi Peng]

Portrait of their interests

Examples of her interests:

Interests: music, dancing, hiking
Favorite Music: Pop, classical, celtic, eastern, and other, depending on the mood Smiley)
Favorite Movies: The Terminal, Wedding planner, detective, comedies, romantic comadies
Favorite Books: Detective, psychology
Favorite TV: I like to watch news, soccer and other things

and his interests:

Interests: Music, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, hypnosis, video games, politics, saving the world from conservatives and capitalists
Favorite Music: Lacuna Coil, Theatre of Tragedy, Nightwish, The Gathering, Queensryche, Genesis, Dream Theater, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Nobuo Uematsu, The Cure, Evanescence, Leaves' Eyes, symphonic metal
Favorite Movies: Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Star Trek, South Park, Good Will Hunting, Ghost in the Shell, Dark City, The Last Starfighter, American Beauty, National Treasure, Crash
Favorite Books: A Prayer for America, The Marshall Plan for Novel Writing, The Hydrogen Economy, One of these days I'll read the Gor series, Venus Plus X
Favorite TV: 24, Heroes, Star Trek, South Park, Family Guy(It's back on! Yay!), Queer Eye(who dares me to put myself on that show?), Threshhold, The Nine

[Qi Peng]

Just a postscript:

Independence Square otherwise known as Maidan Nezalezhnosti is one of the prominent historical sites related to the founding of Kiev (legendary but who knows). It has remarkable statues and the column with the Archangel Mikhail is one of the masterly works of art that still remain over there.

The national cathedral is also known as St. Sophia Cathedral. It is one of the oldest cathedrals in the world and looks absolutely smashing in photos. Of course, my friend claims to be descended from Yaroslav I the Wise in his genealogical charts so that has to be rather interesting there. Nowadays it's a museum for visitors although efforts are headed to making this more for Orthodox services.

The Kiev opera house remains one of the finest cultural centers in the Ukraine. It is one block away from the Golden Gates. The performances are fairly good although it supposedly isn't quite the Met or La Scala.

Picture of the "couple" before break-up

[Qi Peng]

The final straw

Looks like this chapter of the saga is over. Liza just broke up with Eric this weekend after she had prayed about it and decided that they weren't a good match. Therefore she will not be coming to New York City to visit Eric at all. Eric is currently back to his single status again.

Lessons learned

1) Don't divorce your past actions from the reason why you want to pursue RW. Eric's instability in previous relationships particularly with 3 engagements have made it harder for him to figure out what he wants from a RW.
2) Don't assert love too quickly. Remember that falling in love before you meet isn't always the best idea. There may very very few exceptions in real life but those are called arranged marriages.
3) Don't think that MacDonalds in Kiev is the best place to court a young lady. I, from personal experience, know that MacDonalds in the US isn't particuarly romantic and seriously doubt that the one in Kiev has been Russified over there.
4) Don't fall in love with the notion that she is in love with you. Just because she writes you doesn't mean that there is a real relationship yet. Sorry to be skeptical and cynical, but it's better to have a love that is tested like an alloy of metal having undergone tons of heat and stress than 24K pure gold/metal of naiviete.

I could come up with a lot more lessons but this is a good start. I wouldn't be surprised if the search for a RW is mostly 90% failure. That's not bad. It's only bad if the same mistakes and thought processes are being made again and again.

[Evilferret]

Thanks for sharing that story. I will have to remember those 4 rules

[Shadow]

If you remember my posts about it on the other forums... Shadow was right once again.