Cake buying shenannigans!

[bejarano]

I was in Moscow and I walked past this cake shop. It was near the hotel Rossiya
where I was staying at the time as I had just got there. so I went in the shop and got to the front of the queue and there was this really nice looking cake... chcocolate covered with cherries and almonds and walnuts and coconut. Anyway it cost something like 80 roubles which was then roughly about 1.50... surely it wasn't that cheap! 

So, everytime I would go in a shop and I would ask for something in my pidgin Russian folks behind the counter would laugh and ring up the till charging me 'non Russian speaker tax' on top of the total amount of purchase.

This time I didn't care, I was going to ask them in English.

'Hiya luv, is that price for the whole cake? a slice? or what?'

The girls behind the counter looked perplexed. So in m best Lancastrian I repeated to them but very slowly.

'Listen carefully girls, 80 roubles, is that for a slice or he whole cake or what?'

I repeated my question a few times, the girls behind the counter were talking to each other in reference to me, probably calling me a onanist in Russian but a lady says behind the queue 'I speak English, I will help you'  I said 'cheers luv, ask these doughnuts behind the counter if the 80 roubles is for the whole cake or for a slice'

So she did.

It was for the whole cake, bargain or what!

I got home, pulled out a big knife and carved up a slice to sit down and eat while watching 'grozny patrol' (Everyday at around 5 o'clock) as i carved a slice I found out to my horror the inside instead of being a moist sponge and jam and cream as it looked like in the shop... it was MERINGUE!!!

I hate meringue.

I threw it out of the window, only for it to be snatched away off the stig of the dump like local youth two minutes later!

Whose made themselves look a berk in a shop in Russia, and who has had a shop employee shout at them. When that happened to me I wanted to punch her lights out but of course just winked at her... another story I will grace this forum with later!

[Manny]

I got home, pulled out a big knife and carved up a slice to sit down and eat while watching 'grozny patrol' (Everyday at around 5 o'clock)

Learning to be a couch potato in Russia eh? 

[Chris]

Whose made themselves look a berk in a shop in Russia

I went into a shop once and asked for a Wasp!...the shop assistant said we don't sell wasps, I said well you have one in the window Ok I know I know it is an old one.

I was in a shop in Kharkov, one that I had started to frequent to buy things for breakfast etc and I asked for a bread type thing that was on the counter top. It was a bit like a croissant can't remember what they call them. The lady behind the counter who was getting to know me by now as I had been in quite a few times, shook her head and said Nyet! Nyet! I had no idea why, but she kept shaking her head, (she couldn't speak any English) eventually the penny dropped, it was one from the day before and probably not in best condition! ....she didn't want me to have it.  She instead got one for me from some she had in a pile, that I must admit did look much fresher.

A few minutes later as I was leaving, a Ukrainian lady entered the shop and asked for the same thing, she of course was given the stale one off the top of the counter, the counter assistant  smiled at me when she saw me looking back to check it out.

I guess sometimes it pays to just act dumb!

[Olga]