Ye Olde Age Difference Male Poll

[pup zemly]

sorry for being cruel. But I want to be proud of my man, I dont want him to hear saying "you have a nice daughter and where is your wife"

[Turboguy]

Look at it the other way Julie.   RW seem to like to impress people.   Perhaps if you had a husband who is the age of your grandfather everyone would look at you and say, wow, he must be rich. 

[pup zemly]

Look at it the other way Julie.   RW seem to like to impress people.   Perhaps if you had a husband who is the age of your grandfather everyone would look at you and say, wow, he must be rich. 

so you've just given us the real reason why RW marry foreing men, who could be their parents or grandfathers. 
I

[Manny]

Look at it the other way Julie.   RW seem to like to impress people.   Perhaps if you had a husband who is the age of your grandfather everyone would look at you and say, wow, he must be rich. 

And he would be wouldnt he? 

[MND]

so you've just given us the real reason why RW marry foreing men, who could be their parents or grandfathers. 
I

Julie most of us that have taken this road have heard it all before. It takes a special type of person to go down this track someone that has guts, determination, strong will, and a pretty big set of balls as its not for the faint hearted.
We have heard the age thing many times, the foriegn bride thing and have developed pretty thick skins to it all.
This is not lost on our partners they see our strength and security as well. I for one do not listen to what others say as my wife my daughter and myself are very happy this is what matters most to have a happy and loving family and to put them first.
We have been through alot in the last 2 and a bit years where most would have given up, this has really strengthened our relationship and the bond between us.
There are many here and other forums that have been through and done the same thing and no one else could even begin to understand the bond that develops between the husband and wife even with big age gaps if they have not travelled down this road before.
We have a 19 year age gap and this does not even come into consideration in our marriage.
So I will say it again, what is the right age, it is whatever makes you (both) feel comfortable.

[Turboguy]

I have to agree.  If any of us worried about what others thought, if we did not have the strength to follow our own convictions come hell or high water we would not be persuing RW at all. 

[MND]

exactly Turbo most do not realize what it takes to go down this road and the commitments that need to be made unless they have actually done it themselves.

[supranatural]

I think those who work out also keep a younger outlook on life as well and that matches up better with a younger RW.  My ex-RW is 10 years younger than me and she could never keep up with me when we went out to clubs...she was beat at 12 am and I was ready to dance another 3 hours.  My ex-wife's son is 13 and he can't even keep up with me, I play video games with him and his best friend who proclaims I'm the most "mad awesome dad" around.  We go out on my boat, fishing, waterskiing, checking out girls at the mall, horse around, pretend to be rappers, etc.  Most people think my mindset is more like that of a 28 y.o. than a 44 y.o. except I temper that with the knowledge of being around the block once or twice...

[pup zemly]

Julie

There is a thread for jokes of this nature here, as well you know, please do not post them here. You have been warned.

Thankyou

[Turboguy]

We seem to talk about the age thing a lot here which is like most RW boards.   There was an interesting article on Yahoo today about the 59 year old Grandfather who just made the college football team.   He is 8 years older than his coach and a card carrying AARP member. 

This guy can still run the 100 in 5 seconds flat.      I can recall someone posting on another forum and saying age is age and if you are 60 you are 60, but I have to say it does not ring true in my observations of people.   I think one intersting quote from the article was this:

"I think it was Carl Yastrzemski who used to say, `How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"   

I think everyone's answer would be very different.

[Turboguy]

Reading more in the news today was the story that Joe Hardy, owner of 84 lumber company, who is interestingly enough 84 years old just divorced his third wife who was 23.   His first marriage lasted the longest, until 1997.  With the wife in between he had two children.   Perhaps a child or two with the last wife may have helped keep them together.   :

[justme]

As I am in my 40's, I think about this a lot.  While women 20 years younger look great to me, I worry about how I will look to them down the road.  This may not even be an issue to them, but it does concern me.  But for the record, every person I know who has an age gap of 15 or more years(several 20 years and older), also has the strongest relationships I have witnesssed.  I think the gap makes for a different dynamic in the relationship.  People close in age are also close in life experience.  When one attempts to wear the pants, the other feels they are equal intellectually and may not care to concide to the others opinion.  It is not even necessary that one be right and the other wrong as we know that there are many times more than one right answer.  With the age gap, I think the younger party is more willing to allow one chief in the relationship...concide to wisdom of the older person.  Just an opinion from my observations.  Myself, I prefer someone 8-10 years younger, but will not disqualify someone up to 15 years younger at all.  Over that, it would have to be something that just shook my world in many ways, and even then I would have many reservations about it.

[Turboguy]

But for the record, every person I know who has an age gap of 15 or more years(several 20 years and older), also has the strongest relationships I have witnessed.  I think the gap makes for a different dynamic in the relationship.  People close in age are also close in life experience.  When one attempts to wear the pants, the other feels they are equal intellectually and may not care to coincide to the others opinion.  It is not even necessary that one be right and the other wrong as we know that there are many times more than one right answer.  With the age gap, I think the younger party is more willing to allow one chief in the relationship...coincide to wisdom of the older person. 

I can't speak for all age gap relationships but I can speak for my own even though it is still in an early stage.  I can agree with the part of your statements that age gap relationships can have the strongest relationships.   

I am not so sure I would agree on the deferring to the wisdom of the older person part though.   I think with most RW they are pretty strong willed and don't do much deferring to anyone's wisdom.   I think it is more a case where the man tends to dote more on the younger woman and the younger women like the feeling of importance and appreciation that it gives them. 

[chivo]

We seem to talk about the age thing a lot here which is like most RW boards.   There was an interesting article on Yahoo today about the 59 year old Grandfather who just made the college football team.   He is 8 years older than his coach and a card carrying AARP member. 

This guy can still run the 100 in 5 seconds flat.      I

Let's not get carried away here. It's a 40 yard dash in 5 seconds. I don't think Carl Lewis in his heyday ran under 9 seconds for a 100, but I'm with you here.

The guy's name is Mike Flynt and he was the strength and conditioning coach for Nebraska, Oregon, and Texas A&M. The guy also still has the body of Adonis. He fully believes that weight training, of course combined with proper nutrition, is the closest thing anyone has found to the fountain of youth. I couldn't agree more.

The guy is certainly an inspiration to me.

If a large age gap isn't your thing, great. Some people have no problem with it, and so it goes.

Put my vote in for whatever two people find acceptable to them, and who cares what others think. As they say in Russia..."thats not my problem".

chivo
Here's an article about him
 http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2986313

[Rasputin]

manchester,

 That's pretty interesting. I think there is a rare woman who still looks hot at 44. But can you honestly say with a 27 year differece it would be difficuklt to see her as hot now. You're 37 so that means she is 64. Mighty scary!!!! . 

 As I always say young women like older men of 40 or so. But that does'nt always translate well into a long term relationship.

Let's look at this hypothetical situation: she is 64, worth a few hundred million and she subsidizes the lavish lifestyle of her young husband. The boy toy can leave, but will have to go on to some menial job and worry about paying bills and making ends meet. Would he leave? Would she be so scary?

I am not sure that young women like older men of 40 or so. They may like the attention and the added resources that many 40-year-olds will have (i.e. money), but I have yet to hear of young woman fantasizing  about a man 15, 20 or 25 years older than she is.

[Turboguy]

There are a few that do.   My former GF who I spent 3 1/2 years with when I was 45 was one.   The only guys I heard her say "turned her on" were much older than me.    She was 21 at the time I met her.   

I can agree that most women are not into really older guys but I think there can be some young women who are quite attracted to guys in their 40's.     I don't see that as a stretch at all.

[Rasputin]

There are a few that do.   My former GF who I spent 3 1/2 years with when I was 45 was one.   The only guys I heard her say "turned her on" were much older than me.    She was 21 at the time I met her.   

I can agree that most women are not into really older guys but I think there can be some young women who are quite attracted to guys in their 40's.     I don't see that as a stretch at all.

Are there "some" young women that are attracted to guys in their 40s? Maybe. Then again you can find "some" people that are into anything.

[pup zemly]

Are there "some" young women that are attracted to guys in their 40s? Maybe. Then again you can find "some" people that are into anything.

  good boy Misha
hold me, or I'll start posting here again
I wonder if a poor old man, living in a bad country, can get a young and beautiful woman

[Rasputin]

good boy Misha
hold me, or I'll start posting here again
I wonder if a poor old man, living in a bad country, can get a young and beautiful woman

And, I wonder if Anna Nicole Smith married her octogenarian billionaire simply for his looks and virility (may both rest in peace).

[justme]

 I think it is more a case where the man tends to dote more on the younger woman and the younger women like the feeling of importance and appreciation that it gives them. 

Good point.  I think I have stated before, that when marrying a younger woman, she does not have to worry about her man running off with a younger woman...she is the younger woman.

BTW you all were nice not to point out my misspelling of concede when I wrote coincide.

[Rasputin]

I think it is more a case where the man tends to dote more on the younger woman and the younger women like the feeling of importance and appreciation that it gives them. 

Good point.  I think I have stated before, that when marrying a younger woman, she does not have to worry about her man running off with a younger woman...she is the younger woman.

BTW you all were nice not to point out my misspelling of concede when I wrote coincide.

Again, it comes down to a woman deciding to sacrifice youth and looks for other qualities. I do not delude myself: my wife could easily have found a younger man, a thinner man, and likely a more attractive man. However, she married me for other qualities, including the fact that I am not a "babnik" as many very attractive young men tend to be in Russia (and elsewhere).

[Turboguy]

Are there "some" young women that are attracted to guys in their 40s? Maybe. Then again you can find "some" people that are into anything.

To some extent it sounds like you are putting guys in thier 40's in the same catagory as Ms Smiths former husband.   40's are a long way from the 90's.   I can't picture men in good shape in thier 40's having much trouble attracting gals in their early to mid 20's here or there and can't think it has anything to do with money.

I have to agree with JustMe.   As I do my best to analize my own relationship I think the two factors that appear to be important are the feeling that I am not going to run off with a younger woman and the fact that I pay a lot of attention to her, dote on her if you prefer.   I think she likes the feeling of importance and the security of knowing I am not going anywhere.

[Rasputin]

To some extent it sounds like you are putting guys in thier 40's in the same catagory as Ms Smiths former husband.   40's are a long way from the 90's.   I can't picture men in good shape in thier 40's having much trouble attracting gals in their early to mid 20's here or there and can't think it has anything to do with money.

Well, I am putting guys in the 40s in the same category as Ms Smith: it is the same phenomenon, just one is at the extreme. Ms. Smith married for financial gain (though I am sure she would have denied it). Likewise, if your 40-year-old man from the United States or Canada or Europe were to move to Russia, renounce their citizenship, and find an "average" Russian job (i.e. not earning a huge salary), I really doubt that he would attract many 20-year-old hotties Turbo, in your case VWRW did move with you to the United States. So clearly, she received something from the deal: a Green Card (or at least she will receive a green card if you stay married for at least 2 years). We can argue as to how much the Green Card is worth (or not worth), but clearly she received something from you that she would not have received from a 20-year-old Russian stud.

My point is quite simple: all things being equal, a woman will go for an attractive young man. However, all things are rarely equal. For this reason, 40-year-old men can aspire to a 20-year-old-wife. 

[pup zemly]

And, I wonder if Anna Nicole Smith married her octogenarian billionaire simply for his looks and virility (may both rest in peace).

Do you mean them? Her husband looks saint already 

I wonder if she paid attention to him if he was a poor dedushka

[pup zemly]

  Misha, be careful, there are a lot of guys, whose wives are muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh younger.
I am glad there is one man, who thinks that it is not normal to marry a man, who could be your father or grandfather