Running with scissors (AKA Patman's trip report)

[ispotu]

Fun report. I just returned too. Sorry I didn't follow up to meet up with you , but it sounds like you were too busy like I was! Best of luck!

[patman67]

  Patman...

  Great TR so far but don't sidestep all of the aspects of this trip... one of the more helpful aspects of this particular site is the helpful people here.   

   In being honest with all of us we can kindly return the favor.

   With that being said, I would curious to know if you departed US soil with the plans of engament already on your mind. 4 days is seriously short time to walk away with a fiancee' and K-1 wishes.  I truly wish you all the best with your future journey but make sure those strings on your heart are properly attended to.

   

Any questions are welcome, really...everyone was so helpful to me, I will gladly do the same.

And that is a very good question...I definitely had it in mind, but decided to take a "wait and see" approach. We had discussed the possibility beforhand, but both of us didn't want to make any promises before we had spent some real time together. It was her idea to sort of "play house" for nine days, see how we got along, get a good look at each other's habits...and, to be frank, see how we matched up intimately. Sure, more time would have been ideal, but nine days was all I had, so we just had to work with what we had. Believe me, the questions were flying back and forth...both of us have been seriously burnt before, and don't want it to happen again!

[patman67]

Fun report. I just returned too. Sorry I didn't follow up to meet up with you , but it sounds like you were too busy like I was! Best of luck!

Yeah, the days just wizzed by, didn't they? I hope all went well for you...looking forward to your report! Udachi!

[Olga_Mouse]

 Great TR so far but don't sidestep all of the aspects of this trip...
  

AnfieldRiot, if what you mean by "sidestepping" is making certain comments about sights, food in supermarket, teenagers in subway, etc. - then I disagee with you  

It's not a strictly on-topic "how I got a) scammed; b) laid and c) married" user manual; it's a forum about RUSSIAN & UKRAINIAN ADVENTURES, and that particular part is entitled TRIP report  

Patman, IMO, has a great writing style - and for me as a Muscovite it's always interesting to see what exactly "first time" foreigners pay attention to  

[alenika]

I like the trip report a lot also :-) I like that patman notices things which matter :-)

[el_guero]

Well, I really liked how attentive she was.

I know Mexican women are usually like that, and American women used to be like that.

Are most women from the FSU like that?  Or, are they becoming more like American women?

[AnfieldRiot]

Fun report. I just returned too. Sorry I didn't follow up to meet up with you , but it sounds like you were too busy like I was! Best of luck!

Yeah, the days just wizzed by, didn't they? I hope all went well for you...looking forward to your report! Udachi!

  Sounds good... totally understand your point of view when it comes to previous experiences and those laid out for the future.

  Good luck with it all. 

[mendeleyev]

Are most women from the FSU like that?  Or, are they becoming more like American women?

Making a generalization....what our friend Patman is experiencing is much easier to find as part of the culture. Being more specific however, the younger the girl -- the less she wants to follow this model.

[AnfieldRiot]

 Great TR so far but don't sidestep all of the aspects of this trip...
  

AnfieldRiot, if what you mean by "sidestepping" is making certain comments about sights, food in supermarket, teenagers in subway, etc. - then I disagee with you  

It's not a strictly on-topic "how I got a) scammed; b) laid and c) married" user manual; it's a forum about RUSSIAN & UKRAINIAN ADVENTURES, and that particular part is entitled TRIP report  

Patman, IMO, has a great writing style - and for me as a Muscovite it's always interesting to see what exactly "first time" foreigners pay attention to  

   I like your answer but no I am not looking for info on local items and way of life nor am I looking for info on scams or how to get laid

   Our friend has told this tale in great depth previous to here.... his reception was less then stellar, so I wanted to make sure he didn't include only the simple aspects as to avoid any unwanted comments... such as mine . I only wanted to convey a little friendly advice and a welcome mat.

[RG]

Well, I really liked how attentive she was.

I know Mexican women are usually like that, and American women used to be like that.

Are most women from the FSU like that?  Or, are they becoming more like American women?

Both FSU women I've met in person have been so, from ensuring we always had food tucked away for a train ride, making sure I was "presentable" before we'd leave the apartment, ironing and/or picking lint from my shirts, etc.  It's a very nice, if different, experience.

I think what Mendy said is probably true in general as well, though - in bigger cities especially, although I'd include age and upbringing into the mix too - it seems more are becoming more "western," but my girlfriend certainly exhibits these traits as well, in her late 20s.

[NAB]

Nice trip report.  Looking forward to the next installment.   

[patman67]

Thanks for all the great comments, everyone! I just hope this isn't gettting too long-winded...

We departed the Metro next to a huge mall (I'll edit this and insert the name, as I have forgotten at the moment). I was a little shocked to find out that this was where the better supermarket was, as supermarkets aren't normally found in malls in the US. Entering the mall was a familiar feeling...it was as "western" as anything I'd seen so far. Everything looked very familiar; having come of age in the 80's (the advent of mall culture in the US...watch the movies from that time if you don't believe me) I was on familiar footing. I still hadn't exchanged my greenbacks for roubles, so we made that our first stop. The exchange booth was offering a good rate (30-1, no fees), so I cashed in.

For those of you who haven't been to the FSU yet, a few words...when you go to exchange your money, shop around. Don't pay percentage fees, either. There is always another booth down the street offering a better rate. And, as I found out, the thing about old bills is very true. I had a few twenties handed back to me as they were not in perfect condition. I also recommend carrying a small pocket calculator with you, just to double-check that the amount you receive is correct...the teller will expect it, and won't be insulted in the least.


Thus armed with 1000's of roubles ( I know, it only looks like a lot of money, but it's still pretty cool paying with 1000 rouble notes!) we hit the supermarket. This one was much bigger than the one we had visted, and had pretty much everything we would need for the week, so I began telling Alfia what I needed. The brands were different, but it wasn't that hard. I was in my element now, and we soon had a nice selection of goodies. Moving on to the butcher's counter, I was surprised at the excellent selection. The girl behind the counter spoke no English, so I had Alfia translate. What followed would have done Abbot and Costello proud...

You see, Alfia's English is good, but I don't think porcine anatomy was covered in her English class. When I asked what cut of meat this was, I was told, "Pig". I already knew that, but honey, what part of the pig? I had to bite my lip at the ensuing spectacle of two cute Russian ladies using hand gestures, a lot of words I didn't understand, and pointing to areas of their bodies to explain just what part of the pig this cut of meat came from. Eventually, I just said ok, we'll take it. For you cooking buffs, it is worth noting that Russian pork isn't raised like North American pork. NA pork is raised to be very, very lean...Russian pork has more fat, is nicely marbled... a cook's dream, really! We thanked the girl and left, pausing only to let me drool over the nice, fat, whole flounders for sale (and my grill thousands of miles away! Damn!).

We headed back home with our groceries, both of us hungry from being around all that food. As we departed the Metro, we accidently walked out through the in gates...an older lady stuck her head out of her booth and said a few harsh words. I asked Alfia what she said, and she replied that we had just been chastised by a babushka for going the wrong way. I smiled...that just made my day!

Back home for a nice dinner, a few beers, and another wonderful night...we stayed up until the wee hours, talking and , well, other things.....

[mendeleyev]

Keep it coming!


(So as to not divert attention away from this report, the posts regarding Moscow grocery stores have been moved to a new topic here: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,10054.msg141969.html#msg141969)

[Olga_Mouse]

We departed the Metro next to a huge mall (I'll edit this and insert the name, as I have forgotten at the moment). I was a little shocked to find out that this was where the better supermarket was, as supermarkets aren't normally found in malls in the US. Entering the mall was a familiar feeling... it was as "western" as anything I'd seen so far.

Are you talking about Okhotny Ryad shopping center, and "7th continent" supermarket on its 2nd level?  :

http://www.oxotniy.ru/

http://www.7cont.ru/

[ECR844]

what happened to the rest of the TR? Please continue sharing your experiences "Patman," and don't emulate our forums "DonHollio's" style of procrastination when it comes to TR installments.

[patman67]

Sorry for the long delay, folks...a brutal work schedule, K-1 paperwork, a filthy house, a sick kitty, and the NFL playoffs have kept my mind (and fingers) occupied elsewhere...

To answer kind Ms. Olga Mouse's question...the mall was the one near Kaluzhskya Metro station...the store was Perekryostok ("Intersection", yes?)...

I awoke early the next morning to a nice, if cold, day. My lady and I had decided the night before to do a little sight-seeing today. But first, some extra bedroom time, then a nice breakfast prepared by my angel…a guy could get used to this!

I was already noticing some pleasant tendencies about our relationship….first, we couldn’t keep our hands off one another. The attraction really was getting stronger, and we were both enjoying it thoroughly! Second, we kept falling into long, deep conversations…both of us are very “bookish”, with an intellectual curiosity that never seems to be sated. A cup of coffee, a comfortable seat, and there we were, whiling away hours at a time, discussing everything under the sun. We were really learning a lot about one another in a very short time; despite months of emails, text messages, and marathon Skype sessions, we  were still finding an endless array of topics to cover. We were having trouble getting out of the apartment, but I was very much OK with this. I hadn’t come to Moscow to sight-see, I had only come here to get to know Alfia. She was getting concerned about this, as she wanted me to see some of the grander sights, and felt she wasn’t being a very good guide/hostess. What the heck; I had plenty of cash, we had time…

As we were getting ready, the house keeper showed up, a cute blonde girl with a nice smile. Alfia wasted no time in letting her know what we needed. My lady was truly acting the part of “the lady of the house”, ensuring everything was attended to. Again, I was enjoying this, as my job seemed to be resting on the couch and enjoying a final cup of coffee before we left. I liked this side of her…to my ear, Russian, like German, seems to consist of orders being given and acknowledged. Alfia wasn’t being a task-master, but she was speaking with unmistakable authority. She be small, yet she be mighty…

Everything sorted, and the increasingly familiar ritual of making sure I was bundled up properly being performed, we ventured out into the cold, heading for the Kremlin…

I was determined to get some good snapshots, although my camera was really ticking me off. I was really enjoying the sights…Moscow has so many interesting sights! If you are a fan of architecture, you will be in 7th heaven, but look closely…many of those buildings that look 100+ years old were actually built in the 50’s. Upon closer inspection, one can see that the façade is formed concrete, not stone, essentially a more substantial Epcot. No worries, though, there are plenty of examples of the genuine article to be found.

As we walked, I started to see Moscow as a city of ironies, as contradictions and odd juxtapositions abound. For example, a tiny church, lovingly restored, featuring iconic panels on the sides, sitting in the shadow of a huge, “modern” apartment complex; Lenin’s library with a huge neon Samsung sign towering over it; a gaudy, brightly-lit Christmas tree next to a reverent statue of Dostoyevsky; the Moscow Rolls-Royce dealership just steps away from a babushka selling trinkets on the sidewalk. But the most interesting bit was ahead…

After checking out the ticket booth, we realized we had dawdled a little too long, and wouldn’t have enough time to really take any of the tours, so we decided to take a walk around the outside of the Kremlin, taking the long way to Red Square. It really is worth doing…one gets a real sense of the size of the complex, as well as a good view of just how high the walls really are. We saw official-looking sedans leaving through a guarded entrance, camera crews setting up for something or other…we came into Red Square from the less opulent end, taking in the beauty of St. Basil’s in the fading light, as all the Christmas lights were starting to blink on. Everyone the world over recognizes the profile of St. Basil’s…to many, it IS the Kremlin, even though it isn’t technically inside. The intricacy of the architecture really leaves one breathless, although I found it smaller than I had imagined. It is a blessing of fate that Stalin didn’t get his way, as he found it an embarrassment!

Despite the cold, Red Square was a lively place, people everywhere. The holiday season was in full swing, and people were just out, taking in the sights, shopping at GUM, or ice skating in the rink set up just in front of Lenin’s tomb.  After wandering around a bit, we decided to go into the little café adjacent to the skating rink for some hot chocolate, and just watch all the skaters.

Ok, I’m not sure about this next part…you see, where I am from, hot chocolate is essentially hot chocolate milk, frothy, usually with marshmallows. What we received were cups of a thick chocolate substance (about the consistency of cake batter) that was very rich and like drinking chocolate lava. I mean, it was very good, but were we supposed to water it down or something? I’ve never had anything quite like it! I just went with it and figured, oh well, if this is how it’s done….

It was here that I paused to take everything in, and really saw what Moscow, and no doubt Russia in general, really was…a country, a society, in flux. We were sitting in this café, techno/dance music thumping, music videos on the television screens, drinking this wonderful chocolate, watching people of all ages skating merrily (ok, what passes for merrily here) to Christmas music, just in front of Lenin’s tomb, here in the middle of historic Red Square…to me, it was such a strange, but fascinating, combination, Russian history, past and present, not so much layers as chunks of different epochs sitting side by side. In any other country this might seem strange, but here, it seems completely normal. I guess it is a blessing and a curse of the Russian, that their dynamic, sometimes brutal, history is inescapable, yet time does march on, and as the cosmopolitan Moscow emerges, a capitalist capitol born full-grown, it does so carrying the past with it…the only question being, is this the burden on her back, or the wind in her sails? This question would run through my mind several times during my stay, and many more times since my return home…

We spent the rest of the evening checking out some of the shops and building around the square, pausing to get a picture with some enterprising fellows dressed as palace guards (they charged 10 roubles, I gave them 20)…the little souvenir shop near the Resurrection Gates has some wonderful (if a little pricey) articles, such as chess sets and iconic art, among many other things…however, the chocolate was starting to work on me, and it was time to head home.

That night, I cooked an Italian dish, baked ziti, with some really good beef/pork sausage I found at the butcher’s and some very strong cheese… we toasted to a nice evening out, and the evening ended, once again, wonderfully amorously….

[Yoshik]

Patman.

Most clearly your vocation in life is that of a novelist or journalist.

One wallows in the splendour of the descriptive writing which is so embracing in its flavour, that one feels like the marshmallows missing from your chocolate. All soft and squashy! Yes by the way, a glass of water is normally alongside of the wonderfully viscous chocolate!

Whilst suspense is good on occasions, I fear most people will not want that element of your literary skills to pervade for too long.

Next instalment please.

[Olga_Mouse]

To answer kind Ms. Olga Mouse's question...the mall was the one near Kaluzhskya Metro station...the store was Perekryostok ("Intersection", yes?)...

Gosh!    Why, while staying at New Arbat street (= in the very center of Moscow), would one travel for food shopping to Kaluzhskaya (= a residential area far from the center)?

Even if Alfia is a fan of Perekrestok (though, if the quality of the food is more important than saving some roubles, I'd recommend 7th continent - especially as there is one just at the corner of Old Arbat and Garden ring...), why from a few dozens of their outlets in Moscow she has chosen that particular one?  

Ok, I’m not sure about this next part…you see, where I am from, hot chocolate is essentially hot chocolate milk, frothy, usually with marshmallows.

What we received were cups of a thick chocolate substance (about the consistency of cake batter) that was very rich and like drinking chocolate lava. I mean, it was very good, but were we supposed to water it down or something? I’ve never had anything quite like it! I just went with it and figured, oh well, if this is how it’s done….

To order what you EXPECTED to get you should have named какао ("cocoa").

"Hot chocolate" - exactly in a way you've described it - is indeed considered (at least by the whole "Chocoladnitsa" chain, and such posh places as that coffee shop in front of the Bosco di Ciliegi skating ring) to be something much more dense, really like a melted chocolate (which the name suggests  : ).

[NAB]

I for one, really like the depth at which things are described.  His writing style is akin to reading a novel where the setting is first established, then descriptive elements are added to the storyline, along the way, so you can imagine yourself looking through his eyes and seeing what he sees.

Keep it up!

[Maxx]

I am really enjoying this story. Thank you Patman.


Maxx

[patman67]

To answer kind Ms. Olga Mouse's question...the mall was the one near Kaluzhskya Metro station...the store was Perekryostok ("Intersection", yes?)...

Gosh!    Why, while staying at New Arbat street (= in the very center of Moscow), would one travel for food shopping to Kaluzhskaya (= a residential area far from the center)?

Even if Alfia is a fan of Perekrestok (though, if the quality of the food is more important than saving some roubles, I'd recommend 7th continent - especially as there is one just at the corner of Old Arbat and Garden ring...), why from a few dozens of their outlets in Moscow she has chosen that particular one?  

Ok, I’m not sure about this next part…you see, where I am from, hot chocolate is essentially hot chocolate milk, frothy, usually with marshmallows.

What we received were cups of a thick chocolate substance (about the consistency of cake batter) that was very rich and like drinking chocolate lava. I mean, it was very good, but were we supposed to water it down or something? I’ve never had anything quite like it! I just went with it and figured, oh well, if this is how it’s done….

To order what you EXPECTED to get you should have named какао ("cocoa").

"Hot chocolate" - exactly in a way you've described it - is indeed considered (at least by the whole "Chocoladnitsa" chain, and such posh places as that coffee shop in front of the Bosco di Ciliegi skating ring) to be something much more dense, really like a melted chocolate (which the name suggests  : ).

As for the store...well, you have to remember, she isn't from Moscow, and was probably just going with what she knew...I would do the same thing in any large city here. Really, I didn't mind; I was with her, and got to see a bit of the Metro.  I'll have to remember the thing about the cocoa...but that chocolate WAS really good!

[patman67]

Ok, a few more pics...our man, in front of St. Basil's...Alfiya and I on the opposite side of the building...christmas lights and the skating rink on Red Square....Alfiya resembling the Cheburashkas decorating the cafe....some enterprising fellows making a few roubles (I loved the weapons!)...

[patman67]

We awoke late the next morning to a beautiful sight…Moscow was covered with a thick blanket of snow. The view from our apartment was beautiful! It really was stunning…all the grime was now covered up, and the city looked like the winter wonderland I had thought it would be.

 We had planned to go back to the Kremlin,  but all the traveling and walking, the time difference, and just the intensity of our time together had really taken a toll on me. I had gotten on the flight to come to Moscow tired…I had survived a murderous work schedule in December (lucky me, working for the only busy auto manufacturer in the US!), and was pretty banged up from a gut-wrenching year…it was all catching up, and Alfiya could see it in my eyes…I was going to need a day off. We decided to spend the day indoors, just relaxing…it turned out to be one of the best days of my stay!

All day, in pajamas, sipping hot tea, and watching the snow…listening to music, looking up videos on Youtube…she even saw her first Fawlty Towers episodes and got her first glimpse of Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale (and yes, she got the “badenov” reference!). We didn’t so much sit down and eat as snack on simple fare when we got hungry. Of course, many naps were taken, although we didn’t always sleep…

I was warned about this time by a few friends who had spent time in Europe and had taken European wives…the moment when a red-blooded American finds himself questioning his lifestyle, and begins wondering just what the hell he’s been doing for all these years. Back home, I rarely have days like this. What non-Americans sometimes don’t realize is life in the States is lived at high-speed. Nothing is ever fast enough for us, nothing is big enough, and there can never be enough money. I know it is a cliché, but something becomes a cliché because it is, at least in part, true. It is if I had been slamming around in the dark, and suddenly someone turned on the lights…and there I was, with someone who thinks along very different lines, has chosen not to worship at the altar of the almighty dollar, a woman who realizes the roses are for smelling, not for glancing at as you whiz by. A simple lunch of bread and cheese, some slices of roast pork, tea, and a few bits of chocolate for dessert, and some meaningful, intelligent conversation while some music plays softly in the background…to a Yank, used to meals wolfed down while the TV is blaring, then off to whatever next stressful pursuit is on the schedule, this was sheer bliss. I was unplugged, away from my noisy, high-speed, techno-life, yet not isolated in some distant cabin in the woods, but smack-dab in the middle of a huge city. What my friends warned me about was this…you’re going to start, well, feeling European…and you’re going to like it, perhaps a little too much. And going back to the US is going to sound unbearable…

I know, I was away from work and the hassles of owning a home…all my responsibilities were thousands of miles away, so I could afford to have such thoughts. But what I’m getting at here is that the presence of this woman was doing me a world of good. I was very much at peace, in a comfort zone I wouldn’t have thought possible, being so far from home. She was making everything incredibly easy, and I was enjoying it thoroughly.

Then something happened that took this trip to a whole new level; we were gazing out at the snow-covered city, watching all the lights come on…I had my arms around her, watching over her shoulder, when I noticed she was crying. Panicked, I asked her, what’s the matter angyl moi? Nothing, was her answer…”I have never been this happy, never in my whole life. You are real, you are perfect, and I am happy beyond all words”….there was no question, I had found my future wife, as well as my future life…

[Manny]

What non-Americans sometimes don’t realize is life in the States is lived at high-speed. Nothing is ever fast enough for us, nothing is big enough, and there can never be enough money. I know it is a cliché, but something becomes a cliché because it is, at least in part, true. It is if I had been slamming around in the dark, and suddenly someone turned on the lights…and there I was, with someone who thinks along very different lines, has chosen not to worship at the altar of the almighty dollar, a woman who realizes the roses are for smelling, not for glancing at as you whiz by. A simple lunch of bread and cheese, some slices of roast pork, tea, and a few bits of chocolate for dessert, and some meaningful, intelligent conversation while some music plays softly in the background…to a Yank, used to meals wolfed down while the TV is blaring, then off to whatever next stressful pursuit is on the schedule, this was sheer bliss. I was unplugged, away from my noisy, high-speed, techno-life, yet not isolated in some distant cabin in the woods, but smack-dab in the middle of a huge city.

You have there encapsulated why we go to Estonia and have a home there. It disconnects us from our faster UK life and we recharge there. We can sleep till noon and just do Russian style stuff (even our baby sleeps late there). I can write on our verandah in the white nights, gazing at the windmill, listening to the crickets, and the UK is 2000 miles away - gridlocked in traffic. There is no feeling like it.

Still loving your writing style and looking forward to the next bit......... 

[mendeleyev]

Awesome!

Patman, thanks also for sharing the photos. Please share more.

Your lady, by the way, seems truly beautiful inside and out.