Top Ten things you would tell a Newbie!

[mje]

I basicly have only 1 :

Use common sense. If something doesnt feel right, do not judge too quickly about cultural or language barriers.

Same if something feels too good to be true, be cautious but not write off totally. Use your common sense and brain.

[I/O]

In order of go and I know it is a waste of time because they NEVER listen to this one, number 1,2 and 3 on my list are "Resources". Have you got them?

Financial resources?
Time resources?
Information resources?

These three will, without doubt, make or break your chances of success or otherwise. Dress it up any way you choose, if you are on a small salary with no savings and have 2 weeks vacation time per year, it is madness to cut this cloth.

[jb]

I/O;

I agree 100%

[Tallman]

I have been at it for more than one year, several trips to Ukraine, and one to Russia.

Here is what I would suggest:

1. Choose RWs who are into you more than you are into them. For starters they must give you their phone  numbers, and they should be happy to hear your voice. In person watch their body languages,  unfortunately whatever they feel from the get go, it never changes. If you chase a woman who is not into you, she may accept you, that is for a while. We all know what would happen later on.

2. This is an expensive proposition, every trip is over 3K, and you have to make multiple trips, some guys get lucky quickly, I was not so fortunate. Trip expenses are just the beginning, her expenses multiply when she gets here. Also consider the time it would take  for you to make those trips.

3. Reconsider your pursuit, if you have a local option, it is far easier, and much more familiar.  I think only those should consider this venture who do not have a local option for one or other reasons. Did I say, you need plenty of funds to follow this dream?

[Manny]

My top ten things I would tell a newbie:

1) Read our book "Russian Bride Guide" to give yourself a broad overview of the whole situation. Absorb the content rather than ignore the inconvenient parts. Read the "age difference" chapter three times. Understand that because you think you "look young" does not mean you can pull 25 years younger chicks with credibility. Those days have gone.
2) Read this forum - and its archives - daily for at least two months.
3) Ask any questions here that you still have after doing 1 and 2 above.
4) Be adequately funded for your forthcoming endeavour.
5) Be sure you are in direct contact with women and not agency translators and other intermediaries.
6) Be prepared to visit the object of your affection within 3 months.
7) [for Americans] Do not agree to marry after one or two trips. Yes, you need a passport (and probably a visa) and no, a K-1 is not a tourist visa. A K-1 is a fiancée visa; which means a woman you want to marry - not a woman you want to try out.
8 ) Understand the culture as best you can - read Mendeleyev's topics here religiously.
9) Learn some Russian. A few Cyrillic letters, some phrases, anything! Make an effort in her language.
10) Do not settle. Be prepared to start over if it doesn't work out. Seldom will you meet your wife on the first visit.

[Manny]

OK, there is more. It depends how new a "newbie" is. This for very new newbies:

11) Do not send money to an e-mail correspondent. No, never! It doesn't matter what the "emergency" is - don't do it!
12) She has a phone. If she tells you she doesn't, she is lying.
13) Hot 20 something women do not e-mail you out of the blue seeking love and affection - only scammers do that!
14) No she doesn't already have a visa for your country. Even if she sent you a scan - it is fake.
15) Why are you only looking in Ukraine? Why not Russia? Everyone goes to Ukraine. What does that tell you?
16) Very few men meet their wife at tours, socials and parties.
17) You are unlikely to meet your wife in Odessa, Kiev, Moscow, Yoshkar Ola or Lugansk. When you know more, you will know why.
18) Avoid the well known scam site "Anastasia" unless you really know what you are doing.
19) Understand the days of poor, desperate young girls marrying much older foreign men have gone. No young hottie wants to cater to a balding, older, pot-bellied man in his retirement. That ship has sailed; it was called Peristroika. Try Asia.
20) This forum, and its' members, is the best ongoing utility you could wish for. It is free, the members have been there and got the t-shirt. Create topics, ask questions, absorb the collective wisdom here. It will serve you well. When you have learned the ropes, stick around and advise others who are as new as you are today.

[mendeleyev]

Nicely put!

[Chris]

15) Why are you only looking in Ukraine? Why not Russia? Everyone goes to Ukraine. What does that tell you?

Yes most guys go East, you may think that's the way you should all be going, but I headed West   as in Western Ukraine where there are many untouched virgin pastures. That was long after I first headed East, South and to Russia though  

[Sauron]

I think that chances to find a wife in Moscow are better as finding one in a village in Siberia.
Providing you are looking for a wife, not for a puppy or trophy.

[2tallbill]

You do NOT look ten years younger than your real age.
I am 48 but only look 47 1/2

Dang Beeeel, you're doing great! I'm only 50 something and don't look a day over 74! 

Do you think it's because I haven't married an FSUW yet? 

[mendeleyev]

Beeeel, if one spoke the truth your gf would keeeeel both of us! 

[ispotu]

20) This forum, and its' members, is the best ongoing utility you could wish for. It is free, the members have been there and got the t-shirt. Create topics, ask questions, absorb the collective wisdom here. It will serve you well. When you have learned the ropes, stick around and advise others who are as new as you are today.

WAIT! We get a T-Shirt too! It's like Christmas in October! 

[2tallbill]

20) This forum, and its' members, is the best ongoing utility you could wish for. It is free, the members have been there and got the t-shirt. Create topics, ask questions, absorb the collective wisdom here. It will serve you well. When you have learned the ropes, stick around and advise others who are as new as you are today.

WAIT! We get a T-Shirt too! It's like Christmas in October! 

Yeah there should be a RUA tee shirt !!

[ldelo]

Noobie here, but have been to Russia multiple times, married a Russian, had her more or less take advantage of me/the-marriage, had her divorce me after receiving her US citizenship, and am considering getting back on this horse again.

Methinks there's been lots of good lists already, in addition to "what they said!", mine would be

1) Stop drooling over the "dating/marriage" site eye candy long enough to clear ones' head and do a LOT of research. Learn from others' mistakes rather than insisting on making ones' own (or believing and inisting as many do that their situation is unique and different.) Ones' situation is NOT unique/different, many untold thousands on both sides of the puddle have gone before, learn from them

2) Before doing anything else, buy and read the Russian Bride Guide, anything and everything else one can find on this subject, meet and befriend Ru-EU/AM/etc couples if at all possible, etc

[ldelo]

I'd personally also recommended that one take a trip to their target country or more generally the FSU as a vacation or preperatory thing, rather than making their first trip a meeting with a prospective wife.

Or as the other gentleman said, view your (first, etc) trip as a vacation during which you'll just happen to meet a FSUW that you happen to have been corresponding with.

But for a first trip and unless one can afford to surround oneself in a cocoon of western everything, that's easier said than done.

Unless ones' already been there it can be hard to not let the newness, uniqueness, and in some cases cultural/social shock cloud ones' judgement.

The first time I went to Russia was to meet my (now ex) wife in Saratov. Alone. In the middle of the Russian winter.