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Author Topic: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help  (Read 37490 times)

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Offline Californiadreamer

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Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« on: August 18, 2009, 04:45:49 PM »
Hi guys here is my situation and I need your advice

I dealt with Anastasiadate ( I know!! a big mistake; but I did not know any better at the time).  Any way I corresponded with a few girls there.  I found this girl that was more compatible with me than the other girls that I was corresponding with.  She was not drop dead gorgeous but she was good looking.  We exchanged about forty letters and a few pictures in  4 months.  She seemed honest and I did not find any discrepancies with her emails and her profile.  She would always answer my questions and she sent me a couple of her photos.  I knew that she was writing the letters. She never asked for any money.  In fact she went on two small vacations outside the FSU during these four months.  ( I was wondering how she could afford these trips).
As most of you probably know, Anastasia does not give away or even sell their girl's email or other personal contacts.  The only way according to their rule to get girl's personal contact, is to send the girl a gift or flowers and include your personal contact information in a post card that accompanies the gift.  That way if the girl wishes to contact you, she can do that at her own discretion.   So I sent her some flowers and included my contact info. (email address and postal address).   It cost me $150 for a few roses!!! 
They delivered the roses and I also got the picture of the delivery and I was assured that the girl was real. A few emails later I asked the girl to sometimes email me directly.  I wanted to get her email address this way.  But the girl asked me why I wanted her to email me directly.  She said that it was more convenient for her to correspond with me through Anastasiadate.(because of translation).  I answered back that I would continue to correspond with her through the site because it was convenient for me as well but I asked her to send me an email directly also and I told her that I would tell her the reason later!! Also I started learning the Russian language and I told her that too.I sent her a few Russian poems too with my emails!!  Any way she never contacted me through my personal email.  We continued our correspondence through Anastasiadate.  As I said she was nice and did not fit any category of a scammer that I know.  I asked her how she felt about me; she said only nice things about me and told me that photos are photos and to make sure that the chemistry exists between two people, there should be a personal face to face meeting and asked me what I would think about that.( Hinting that I should visit her).  I was going to visit Ukraine and it was on my mind.  Since I was divorced lately, (she knew this; I told her everything) I told her that I am putting my life back together and was trying to start a business of my own very soon and then would visit her as soon as possible; probably in a couple of months This email was the last one I sent her; she got the email ( I know this because the site notifies you of this) and I was waiting for the response. Four days past and then something strange happened.  I logged into the site and clicked on her profile and I got the following message: By the member’s request, this profile is no longer available. Apparently she had deleted her profile and had not given any reason for it. I had no other contact information.  I emailed the site a couple of times and they would not help me at all.   I also want to mention that I found her profile on another site ( A Foreign Affair- Loveme.com) which presumably is a reputable site.  The information matched between the two sites although they did not have the same pictures.  I mean the pictures were different but of the same girl. This AFA site profile I believe was started before the Anastasiadate and is still  active.  By the way I mentioned this finding earlier to her too and she said yes I was registered on another site but I have not heard from them for almost  a year now.  I did try to contact her a few days ago from that site too.  I bought her virtual email address and also wrote her a letter.  I have not heard from her yet.  I has been only a few days; I don't know. 
On my part, I googled her information and searched the antiscam sites but did not find anything negative about her.

Right now I am confused and I need your input and advice.  I also need input regarding women's character in the FSU from the Russian ladies.  There are several things that come to my mind.  First, there is no doubt in my mind that the Anastasia sites are full of scam.  They scam men as well as the few honest girls that are seeking marriage outside their country.  They make it impossible to establish contact directly and independent of them.  Second, the things that come to my mind are these: if she was a scammer, why she left the site and did not continue the correspondence.  Sure she would make more money.  And if I had gone to Ukraine, they would have made even more money; and at that time the girl would tell me that she is not interested.  The other thing that I am thinking is if she found someone else or was not interested in me, wouldn't she tell me that in a nice way.  This is where I need the input from the Russian ladies.  Would some body from your country be so cold blooded to leave without an explanation?  Didn't I deserve an explanation after all this time and sending her flowers?  I want to mention that I am extremely tactful and polite and I would never say anything bad in my letters to offend anybody. The third thing that I can think of is that the Anastasia site forced her out because she was not part of them.  Because they would not make more money with her.  Certainly if I had gone there, I would have married her and that would have been the end of their money making scheme.  I wonder if the site gave my correct email address to her.
Since these things happened, I get less and less emails from Anastasiadate.com. 

Now I am very confused and heart broken.  With all these horror stories that I read about in this and other sites,  I am thinking of putting off the idea of marrying an FSU woman.  So please give me advice.

Thank you all in advance

Offline Ladagirl

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2009, 04:58:14 PM »
Did you offer to write her in Russian to her personal email? (This means you pay translation costs both ways)

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2009, 05:13:38 PM »
CD most likely you were writing to the agency translator.
The girl may or may not have ever heard of you. It might
be possible to find this girl on another site, but the odds of
her having read any of your letters is slim.

I would recommend only dealing with agencies which allow the
exchange of personal information.

<"http://www.luckylovers.net">

or if you are interested in a small agency
<"http://ladagirl.com/">

Udachi !


Bill

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls


Offline MND

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2009, 05:14:11 PM »
Hi CD,

Welcome to RUA dont let one bad experience put you off. You said you were recently divorced and that you are putting your life back together maybe this sort of venture is to early for you at the moment as it can be quite stressful.
if i were you i would for the next few months research as much as you can about the culture, language etc read everything on the forums and try to stay away from all the scam sites and bad stories that you hear on the internet otherwise they will do your head in.
There are many really good women in Eastern Europe take your time in looking ask around on this site as there are many people here that can give you some pretty good advice.
Its easy for us men to fall in love from photos and letters but what you need here is a level head and an understanding that you really do not know this person yet and if she or the agency has done what you say then there was nothing there to start with.

Offline Voyager

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2009, 05:18:42 PM »
Would some body from your country be so cold blooded to leave without an explanation?  Didn't I deserve an explanation after all this time and sending her flowers?  I want to mention that I am extremely tactful and polite and I would never say anything bad in my letters to offend anybody. The third thing that I can think of is that the Anastasia site forced her out because she was not part of them. 

Now I am very confused and heart broken.  With all these horror stories that I read about in this and other sites,  I am thinking of putting off the idea of marrying an FSU woman.  So please give me advice.

Thank you all in advance

Many men will drop a lady when they narrow their search, often without a letter or contact, the ladies often do the same. Sometimes they worry that if they send a guy a "Dear John" letter (You've been dumped) he may report her as a scammer out of spite

The best way to avoid this problem is to not use "pay per letter" sites like Anastasia, and get contact information early. If she can't give you an e-mail. (or sign up with mail.ru etc) then just drop her. Sorry ladies, that's just my opinion, I don't want to waste 100's of $$$ paying the agency for a girl that may not even be the one writing to me.

2 -3 letters is about the max IMO, if you don't have an e-mail & phone # by then, move on.

Offline fireeater

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2009, 05:27:18 PM »
CD

I tested Anastasia, with a profile set up and no picture. You are flooded with emails, as an incentive to get you to sign up fully. The fact your emails have dropped off, is also a sign they recognized you have wised up, and are no longer a good mark.    

High price sites like this one and others, will have many "working girls" on them. By the term working girls they can actually earn a living, by the various ways of you spending your money there. They get a cut, from everything you do.  One of these woman, I have now seen on 10 high price sites as well as others listed there.  

I also have seen some move around, from one site to another, as they have run the course at the current one. But you will never find them on any of the lesser profitable ones.

Bottom line stay away from high priced sites, as the odds of finding the right one is extremely low at them. :)


I would not give up, just try some of the sites that have been recommended here, by members who have used them, and the bonus is they do not cost a fortune to use. Some are even free.  The odds of finding one who is truly serious would increase dramatically.  tiphat


Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2009, 05:29:49 PM »
The possibility also exists that she was in correspondence and meeting with other men (two trips outside the FSU). You may simply have come in second place, it does happen.

Good advice above, do get your life in order, take some time to read and participate at RUA, chalk it up to experience and move on.

And yes, you may very well have got caught up in corresponding with an agency translator or scammer.  :(

Brass

“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind."  ~ John Diefenbaker

P.S....Unless you happen to live in Quebec and are subject to the Quebec Charter Of Values, of course.

Offline Californiadreamer

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2009, 05:44:02 PM »
Ladagirl

They don't offer you to write to her direct email and besides my Russian is not that proficient.

Offline kievstar

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2009, 05:46:42 PM »
You were writing with the agency worker.  For the future need to get past the letter writing and right into phone or physical meeting.  

Also, be careful on the roses as agencies may use old pictures of the delivery.  Popular girls get roses everyday and agencies get smart and never send roses for 100% profit (recycle old delivery photo).  Many women do not like to write and read letters and are ok with agency writers speaking on their behalf.  They really want to meet the man in person and than start a relationship.

Offline Californiadreamer

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2009, 09:01:36 AM »
Thank you all for your advice.  Appreciate it.

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2009, 05:26:37 PM »
Ladagirl

They don't offer you to write to her direct email and besides my Russian is not that proficient.

Ladagirl's Russian is quite proficient and could write to her to the agency
on your behalf, but I would recommend using a different agency, then if
you meet a non English speaker then you can have Ladagirl translate for
you.

Udachi !
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline Californiadreamer

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help UPDATE
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2009, 01:22:01 PM »
Hi everybody

Here is an update in my situation.  I finally got a letter from this girl through another site.

She wished me luck and said that she had explained to me that I was not her type in the Anastasiadate site.  I did not receive that letter.  I don't know if she is lying or not.  The feeling that I have is that she was a scammer 98%.  I will give her 2% benefit of doubt!  How could she tell me this after 4 months of emails and receiving flowers and chocolate from me.  In her letters, she was always talking about how much we had in common.  Nothing had changed till in my last letter to her that I mentioned that I am getting ready to go to Ukraine.  That was the last time I heard from her. 

Now my question is: should I blacklist and expose her or not?   I do not want anyone else to go through the same experience with her that I did.

Offline Chris

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help UPDATE
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2009, 01:36:49 PM »
Hi everybody

Here is an update in my situation.  I finally got a letter from this girl through another site.

She wished me luck and said that she had explained to me that I was not her type in the Anastasiadate site.  I did not receive that letter.  I don't know if she is lying or not.  The feeling that I have is that she was a scammer 98%.  I will give her 2% benefit of doubt!  How could she tell me this after 4 months of emails and receiving flowers and chocolate from me.  In her letters, she was always talking about how much we had in common.  Nothing had changed till in my last letter to her that I mentioned that I am getting ready to go to Ukraine.  That was the last time I heard from her. 

Now my question is: should I blacklist and expose her or not?   I do not want anyone else to go through the same experience with her that I did.

Can you be 100% certain it is a scam, probably not, so in that case, put it down to experience, it didn't cost you much if anything, and move on, put your energies into finding a good one instead of wasting your time on things you are not sure about.

BTW even if you knew it was a scam, I would also tell you to move on, and get on with a new search, don't waste another minute on this one, wanting to warn others is fine, but the reality is, there are so many more fish in the sea for both you and the possible scammer it does no good, cest la vie, move on.

Chris

Offline fireeater

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2009, 02:08:30 PM »
CD

One of our female members here. who is now married, was offered a job at an agency, to write to men. That agency, with many branches in both Russia and Ukraine, is connected to this site. To list one woman as a scam (and it is just a different version) would be pointless since they have many others to take over from just her. Your story just adds to the history of this site being blacklisted, and regardless of changes they have made, operating in the same manner.   

It was your choice to pay for each email, as well as sending gifts, so proving this is a little hard to do. And all she has to say is she decided against you, after talking with you for a while. A lot of these sites also use a software system to monitor the notes. Ones they disapprove of may be altered or deleted in full. This quite often can be found in the terms of agreement, you had to agree to when signing up with them.   

Just consider that if you use a high pay per letter sites, then the odds are high that you will run into this again. I would just move on and find a better site to use and put it in the past.

Offline Californiadreamer

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2009, 03:32:59 PM »
Chris

I agree with you on most of the stuff.  It cost me some money to deal with this person; but it cost me a lot in emotions.   I am not worried about the money.  If I expose this person, don't you think that it is better for that site and for other people to avoid her?  Even if she is not a scammer, she definitely is a bad apple.  She has no moral values.  To take advantage of people and to play with people's emotions are not qualities that we can disregard.   With this kind of attitude, she can not be a good wife for anybody.  People would know if they are compatible with each other through their profile and a few correspondence very early in the game.  To play with people's emotions, is totally unacceptable.

Offline Link

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2009, 03:39:51 PM »
Chris

I agree with you on most of the stuff.  It cost me some money to deal with this person; but it cost me a lot in emotions.   I am not worried about the money.  If I expose this person, don't you think that it is better for that site and for other people to avoid her?  Even if she is not a scammer, she definitely is a bad apple.  She has no moral values.  To take advantage of people and to play with people's emotions are not qualities that we can disregard.   With this kind of attitude, she can not be a good wife for anybody.  People would know if they are compatible with each other through their profile and a few correspondence very early in the game.  To play with people's emotions, is totally unacceptable.

It is unacceptable but unfortunately it is a reality in this international dating thing, be ready to encounter more women like her (or even so much worst) who might be wolves disguised in sheep clothes. Best advice I can give you is do not let your guard down and whatever you do just remember DO NOT invest your heart too early or you can pay a very high price later. What you just had experience is the reality some of us have faced already in the past, I talked with a guy from Veracruz married to a RW and he told me, that after  meeting with 8 Russian women he found the one. How he was able to resist such tension (emotionally and economically) is beyond my understanding.

Learn from your experience and move on, do not let your desire of revenge blind you, some people here have passed for so much worst experience and they learnt from it and moved on.

Offline BCKev

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help UPDATE
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2009, 06:31:06 PM »

Now my question is: should I blacklist and expose her or not?   I do not want anyone else to go through the same experience with her that I did.


I suggest you do not pursue the blacklist route because you have not identified the woman you think you were writing to as the one responsible for the scam. You could easily be blacklisting an innocent woman who has no knowledge of you. It is quite likely that your correspondence has been solely with an agency translator.

Receiving an email from this "woman" from a second site is not necessarily confirmation that you are communicating directly with the woman. Of course, this comment is dependent on the sites involved. If both sites are of the Anastasia model, your email could easily end up in the hands of exactly the same local agency translator. Some local agencies will post profiles of their local girls to multiple sites in order to increase their exposure . . .. and income.



She wished me luck and said that she had explained to me that I was not her type in the Anastasiadate site.  I did not receive that letter.  I don't know if she is lying or not.  The feeling that I have is that she was a scammer 98%.  I will give her 2% benefit of doubt!  How could she tell me this after 4 months of emails and receiving flowers and chocolate from me.  In her letters, she was always talking about how much we had in common.  Nothing had changed till in my last letter to her that I mentioned that I am getting ready to go to Ukraine.  That was the last time I heard from her.  


Is it possible that an agency translator decided to continue the correspondence when the "woman" was no longer interested? If this was the case, the woman has done nothing wrong, other than signing up with a shady agency.

Too many questions to be calling this woman a scammer. As Chris and Link suggest, it is best to move on.

Offline RG

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2009, 06:52:01 PM »
Chris

I agree with you on most of the stuff.  It cost me some money to deal with this person; but it cost me a lot in emotions.   I am not worried about the money.  If I expose this person, don't you think that it is better for that site and for other people to avoid her?  Even if she is not a scammer, she definitely is a bad apple.  She has no moral values.  To take advantage of people and to play with people's emotions are not qualities that we can disregard.   With this kind of attitude, she can not be a good wife for anybody.  People would know if they are compatible with each other through their profile and a few correspondence very early in the game.  To play with people's emotions, is totally unacceptable.

I think you've missed a possibility here, that I believe others have alluded to.
It's entirely possible that she wrote *some* of the letters.  It's possible once she sent the 'no, thank you' mail, the agency/site took over from there.  How are you certain you were even talking to *her* all of this time?

Offline BCKev

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2009, 07:04:37 PM »
A few emails later I asked the girl to sometimes email me directly.  I wanted to get her email address this way.  But the girl asked me why I wanted her to email me directly.  She said that it was more convenient for her to correspond with me through Anastasiadate.(because of translation).

Either an agency translator or the woman doesn't want to deal with the hassles and expense of internet cafes and translation.


Quote
told me that photos are photos and to make sure that the chemistry exists between two people, there should be a personal face to face meeting and asked me what I would think about that.( Hinting that I should visit her).  I was going to visit Ukraine and it was on my mind.  

I notice that you did not mention to her that you intended to visit Ukraine or when. She could have had a better offer from someone who actually hopped on a plane and went to see her. Action counts.

Quote
By the member’s request, this profile is no longer available. Apparently she had deleted her profile and had not given any reason for it. I had no other contact information.

Assuming Anastasia is still operating the same way, she could not have deleted her profile. She may have requested the deletion.

Quote
Would some body from your country be so cold blooded to leave without an explanation?

Yes. It happens.



Offline zagoc

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2009, 03:32:33 PM »
As everyone else has said there just isn't any way of knowing who you were really talking to or sending gifts to or even if the gifts were actually delivered.  I wouldn't claim that the girl is a scammer since you don't know what is really going on and it would be horrible to tag an innocent lady with such a bad mark if she wasn't the one behind the problems.

Now the following are my thoughts and only my thoughts.  Perhaps they can help or not....

I would recommend you take some time and work on putting your life back together and while you are doing that spend some time getting to know people of the FSU.  Find a penpal site and send letters to people of different ages and locations.  Learn about them and share with them.  You will get a much better feel for what is real this way.  Also, if you make some good friends you go over there and visit them and perhaps they will know a nice lady and introduce you to her.  Take some time and learn and then perhaps doing this will be a better fit for you.

Offline jnd704evr

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2010, 08:00:32 PM »
I am hoping that even though it has been a while since something has been posted here that this post will not hit deaf ears. That being said, I am one of the morons that you are talking about. Although every indication points me to believe that my lady friend is real. I have been wondering about the live web chat. I have used it regularly I'm afraid to say, and I was skeptical that it may just be a video feed loop. Does anyone have any info on this? I was excited and should have done more research before spending the money on there. But like some others have stated in this forum, I don't mind spending the money if it is for the future of my heart. Although I do regret spending the money on what so many say is nothing but a scam. I have been wondering why it takes 3 days for her to get my mail. yet when she does get it, she tells me about it right away. ANd she remembers the things I tell her. But I started getting suspicious when one day the chat was very badly translated, then the next day it was perfect english. She explained it as a different translator, and this made sense. I finally found Jims scam list today and have been reading it and it really made me laugh because the FAQ page on Russian women described my ex wife and she isn't even Russian. All the complaining and yelling are what I lived with for the last 9 years until she finally emptied my bank accounts and stock funds, and then ran off with another man. So having a woman yell at me all the time and steal my money is nothing new. It just makes you more careful in life in general and you eventually end up setting up bank accounts that funnel through each other so that it is near impossible to get at my actual account.

That long story being said. Thanks for the forum and the info here everyone. I hope that over the next few days I will finally get the education to proceed further that I should have given myself in the beginning. Now the little brain and the big brain will finally start working in unison.

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2010, 08:10:02 PM »
Thanks for posting your questions and I'm certain that members will help you sort things out.


Quote
I have been wondering why it takes 3 days for her to get my mail. yet when she does get it, she tells me about it right away.

Even if she has email access at home, this could be the result of the need for a translator.


Quote
But I started getting suspicious when one day the chat was very badly translated, then the next day it was perfect english. She explained it as a different translator, and this made sense.

Very plausable yet inconclusive either way. A scam agency might employ more than one translator, just as a genuine lady might use a service which employs more than one translator.

Set up a 3 way call with someone like Ladagirl to ascertain whether the lady is genuine and afterward take responsibility yourself for having all communications translated and delivered to her private email.

Offline ECR844

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #22 on: February 07, 2010, 08:16:25 PM »
I I have been wondering about the live web chat. I have used it regularly I'm afraid to say, and I was skeptical that it may just be a video feed loop. Does anyone have any info on this?


Welcome to our forum. Common sense would dictate that if it was a loop you could easily find that out by making a verbal request in the middle of it like, wave to me with your left hand, smile, etc...

Offline jnd704evr

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #23 on: February 07, 2010, 10:09:48 PM »
well, I did ask her to wave to me once and she said that she didn't understand what I meant and the more I tried to describe what I meant by waving and putting it in terms that I figured would translate ie; moving your hand side to side, it just seemed to piss her off that I was talking to her like a four year old so I dropped the subject. But I have since posting this emailed the moderator of another anti scam site and he said this is the new scam from this site and they pay these women to sit here and chat with me which I figured, but he said she's there to make money not fall in love. So chalk this one up to the scam sites and move on. No point in crying over spilled milk.

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Another victim of Anastasiadate.com please help
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2010, 10:43:15 PM »
Be as cautious of the anti scam sites are you are with dating sites. Some of the anti scam sites are just as misguided and dangerous as the scammers.


 

 

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