Putin in Ukraine

[Putin]

Sorry, but I did not have access to the internet for a while, but I wanted to give you all an up to date report on V.V.P.'s trip to Ukraine.  I'll do a review of the agency(ies) I am working with at a later date, so for now they will stay anonymous.

Day 1

Yours truly, V.V.P. arrives in Kiev.  Well the agency I am working with in Kiev advertises that you meet one woman your first day, two the second and two the third, for a total of five ladies on a personal tour.  I told them I didn't want to meet anyone on the first day because I thought I would be too tired.  They insist that one of my five (let's call her V) can only make it the day I arrive, which means I will have nothing to do the next day.  I try and accomodate, so I agree.  I really wasn't all that interested in meeitng V because I thought she was way too young for me (21 years old) but she is 5'10" and I have a thing for tall women (hence Ukraine) and she had great pictures on the website so I relunctanty agree.

I am unexpectantly wired after my trip and head down to the agency to meet V.   After waiting for a while, V walks in.  She looks 100% better than her pictures (so the first thing that pops into my head is she is some sort of scammer), but I am hungry as hell and we agree to go to a sushi place down the street.  Now given my previous thread on language, we start off in English, but once V sees that I speak Russian, she insists we speak Russian together.  To my surprise V is a very passsionate, artistic, and intelligent young woman.  She is getting ready for her final exams next week and has this wholee week off to prepare.   She already planned to go out to the country with friends she studies with for the next three days, so that is why we had to meet today.  Two hours into the conversation, V picks up on my hesistancy and reluctancy (me thinking she is a scammer) and got very emotional when I told her, I am holding my opinions about her until after our first meeting.  She was visibly upset, but I think it is more the fact that people have probably told her her entire life how beautiful and wonderful she is and is not used to a guy being a little pessimistic around her.  I think a lot of guys have filled her with a lot of crap just to get her in the sack and she is not used to my defensive attitude about women.

Luckily the check came and we went for a walk down Kreshatik where they were having the Kyiv day festival.   There were concerts and fireworks, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  The one thing about V is that as we walked down the street, everyone's head turned, which says a lot about how beautiful she is considering we were walking in downtown Kyiv.  But she is 5' 10" and was wearing heels and I am 6' 3" so we kind of stood out.  V had some sort of dance audition that day and I was tired from the trip so we agreed to meet again when she got back from er trip with her friends in three days.  I agreed, because I had no other meetings lined up for my third day and not only was she great eye candy, I enjoyed our conversation.  We took a shared cab, and we exchanged cell phone numbers, before I got out.  We'll see if she shows up on Day 3.

Day 2 review tomorrow.

- Vlad

[Putin]

Day 2

So since I met V on my first day I have nothing scheduled for today.  I wake up at 6 am and am completely wide awake.  With no food in the apartment, Ii head out down Bohdana Khmelniskovo and hit a place called Домашная Кухня.  God I forgot how good the food is here.  It's a lot of calories, but I plan to walk it off.  I head down to Kreshatik and find a great outdoor coffee place.  They don't have real coffee here yet, so I do my usual in Europe and order a coffee Americano.  Turns out to be just a slightly weakened expresso.  Someone needs to open up a Starbucks here.

So I start walking around the city and as it is Monday, all the museums are closed.  I head up to the statue of Родина Мать.  If you have never seen the statue, it is really impressive.  The Soviets purposely made it larder than the Staue of Liberty.  Looking oout over the city, I decide to give V a call just to say hi and confirm our next date for Wednesday.  She assures me that she will keep her promise and said she will call me when she gets back. 

So I head back to the apartment I'm staying in and realize I have no one to go out with tonight so I decide to call the girl who hung up on me last week when she heard I spoke Russian.  So I give her a call (in English) and it takes her a minute to figure out who I am after running down four names of other guys she must be corresponding with.  Once she figures out it is me, she hangs up again.  Gave me a good laugh for five minutes. 

So bored out of my skull I head down to O'Brien's Irish Pub, thinking I'll probablly run into some more pathetic losers such as myself.  Being Monday the place is dead, but the veal medallions are quite good.  Feeeling a little depressed, I figure I need a good laugh and decide to head to the infamous River Palace.  Now what I read about the place is that every girl there is a prostitute but they are all 9s at a minumum.  I get there around 10:30 PM and it is pretty dead, but I run into this Italian guy Marco.  Marco is actually a good looking guy (in the hairy Mediterranean sense) but I gather he is here as a sex tourist.  After a while, we head up to the so called night club annd I must admit some of the women in there are absolutely stunning (but there is the occaisional cow, but I guess some guys like that).  Marco hooks up with an average looking ho and I start talking to a couple other foreigners.  Most guys there are 50-60+, fat and bald, wining and dining 20 something super models.  This one girl caught my eye and to be honest, she is probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life.  She sees me gauwking at her and comes up to me and suggests we go back to my apartment and she will give me a massage.  So not trying to be too gulible, I ask what she gets out of it.  She told me that it would cost 300 Euros.  I break down in absolute hysterical laughter.     She doesn't find it too funny and immediately walks away in search of some geriatric.

So V.V.P. gets his laugh for the night and I decide to head back to the apartment and get some rest because I have two dates lined up for the next day.

[Putin]

Day 3

So finally I have two dates set up.  I head down to the agency around noon to meet my first date.  I find out that there has been changes to my schedule.  One girl can not meet me until Thursday and another can not meet me until Friday.  So much for the advertising that you meet two girls the second day and two the third.  Now I understand that people have lives, jobs, and other commitments, but I spent several thousands of dollars to come here and will only be in Kyiv for seven days and I don't get to meeet the top two ladies on my list until my fifth and sixth day here.  I totally blame the agency for this, because I made arrangements a month ago to meet these specific ladies and they all agreed to meet me, but the agency didn't make arrangements for me to meet them until the day before I arrive or when I am already here.  Thank God, I had the sense to go to another city and use another agency or this trip would be a total waste.  But more on the agencies later.  So to make things worse, my second date for the day had to cancel because her friend's father died (that's a new one).  Now she can't meet until Thursday and that means five days into my seven day trip I have a 5:30 date and now an 8:00PM date.

Ok, somy 12:00 noon date shows up, let's call her "A".  A was a last minute addition after things didn't work out with the the girl who didn't want to meet me because I spoke Russian.  A just joined the agency and her pictures were absolutely incredible.  But she doesn't look so good, in the flesh; bad teeth and a little chunky around the middle.  We agree to go to a very stylish Turkish cafe and order some фреш, which is basically freshly squeezed fruit juice.  A is a flight attendant who works contract flights and just recently got done a two month gig with a carrier that flew to Tehran.  It was interesting to here her stories about Iran and how she could only go around in an abaya, but between us, there wasn't really any chemistry.  I guess it was mostly me, because I was kind of dissapointed that she didn't look as good as her pictures.  But we agree to go to a photo gallery the next day, which would work out, because V wouldn't get back until that evening.  A tells me she will give me a call in the morning and arrange a time to meet. 

I go back to the agency and have one of girls there find me a gym where I can get a day pass.  She tells me that the hotel Dneipro has a gym that costs 150 Hrivnas for a day pass.  The photos on the website aren't too promising so after an extensive internet search we find a gym right by where I live and a day pass is only 50 hrivnas.  So I grab my workout gear and head over.  Turns out it is pretty decent and I get a pretty good workout in.  The staff is nice and I get the pleasure to watch an all female aerobics class while I work out. 

So I have nothing to do tonight, but I did find a cigar bar on the web called La Casa de Habana.  Now I have been to cigar bars all over the world, from New York, to Paris, to London, but this is probably the best cigar bar I have ever been in.  The walk-in humidor is the size of my apartment and has every kind of Cuban cigar imaginable.  The leather chairs are comfortable and I order shrimp cocktail to start and then a light dish of peppered beef (this is my vacation after all).  The food is excellent and the full-bodied Italian red I am drinking with it complements both the food and the cigar perfectly. 

Afterwards, I walk over to a bar called Shooters.  I remember going to Shooters five years ago when I had a short three day stop over in Kyiv and remembered the hot bar staff wearing fishnet stockings.  As I am walking in, two (Turkish?) guys enter at the same time.  The bouncer whose neck is the size of my waistline (we'll call him Big Igor) tells us we can not enter.  When the two guys ask why (in English) the bouncer replies back "strict face control".  (For those of you who have never been to this part of the world, anyone who looks Georgian or Chechen are discriminated against).  They start to argue with him and the head bouncer comes out and Big Igor tells them that they are English speakers.  The two give up and leave and I tell Big Igor in Russian that I am not with those guys and ask if I could in.  Big Igor agrees and the place is actually completely packed for a Tuesday night.  The crowd is a mix of hip twenty something Ukrainian guys and gals with a sprinkling of stylishly dressed thirty something westerners.  I do notice a couple of dark skinned guys in the crowd, also maybe Turks, so I am confused why Big Igor wouldn't let the other guys in.  They must have some sort of quota.  The girls there are beautiful, but the oldest one there is maybe 21 years old tops.  Feeling tired and not in the mood to chat up some twenty something, I head back to the apartment to get some rest because A said she would call me in the morning to set up our date.

[Voyager]

I totally blame the agency for this, because I made arrangements a month ago to meet these specific ladies and they all agreed to meet me, but the agency didn't make arrangements for me to meet them until the day before I arrive or when I am already here. 

Agencies... 


Interesting TR, Putin

[Putin]

Day 4

I wake up feeling pretty good considering the mix of wine, mojitos, and a gin and tonic the night before.   It's about 9:00 am and it starts pouring down rain outside.  I figure I might as well make breakfast and wait for A to call.  After putzing around all morning,    the rain turns to drizzle and I decide to head out and do something.  A never called and my guess is she never intended on calling.  But I didn't feel any chemistry with her anyway and I was looking forward to seeing V again in the evening.  I take the metro down to the train station and decide today was a good time as any to get my train ticket to go to Poltava on Sunday.  A second class ticket only cost me 800 hrivnas, and train travel is much more interesting than riding in a car or even worse, a plane.  I took the train to Saint Petersburg quite often in Russia and usually met some very intersting people in the second class coupes.  Good language practice for me.

So after getting my ticket, I have a few hours and decide to head back to the Родина Мать statue and check out the World War II museum which wasn't open on Monday.  Me being a history nut, I could have spent the whole afternoon there and at the outside tank and weapons exhibition, but it was almost 4:00 PM and I wanted to call V and see if she was back yet.  Her phone was busy, but she calls a few minutes later.  She just got back and her and her friends were going to the Globus shopping mall and she said that she would call back in an hour.  After walking around a little more, I head back to the apartment to wait for V to call.  V does call and tells me she isn't in the city center and asks if it would ok if we met in about an hour and a half.  I needed a nap anyway and it was fine by me.  After a nap, I take a shot of Red Bull and then hit the shower and get ready to meet V.  V calls right on time, but sounds as if something is wrong.  She explains her legs are killing her and is really tired and wants to meet tomorrow.  Now the agency had two dates lined up for me the next day, so I suggest we meet on Forday.  V says that this would actually work better for her, so we agree on Friday.

Ok, now this sucks.    This trip is getting ready for a complete train wreck.  So all dressed up and no place to go, I head back down to O'Briens Pub and maybe hope to meet other pathetic losers such as myself.  O'Briens is fairly busy and I go for the beef medallions once again.  After a Tuborg or two (great beer by the way) I walk down to Kreshatik in search of a small bar I was in the last time I was here.  I found the place to be half empty, but I notice a whole bunch of young people going to this bar called Art 44.  I decide to check this out and this time, the two security guys are really friendly and are practically begging me to come.  A band was set up to play so I decide to check it out.  The bar was absoultely packed and this is a Wednesday!  My guess is that everyone here are students like V taking a break before exams start next week.  The band is actually pretty good, called KPSS (which is the acronym for the Communist Party of the Soviet Union).  I think they must be a popular Russian rock group as everyone there knew all the songs they were playing. 

After a while, I decide to head back after drowning my sorrows in a few more beers.  Tommorrow is another day, and I have two dates set up, one with the top girl on my list, who we will call O. 

To be continued...................

[Noname]

What happened to the rest of the report ?

[Putin]

Sorry for the delay.  Here is the rest of my trip report fro Kiev.  I will start a new one for Poltava.  A complete turn around.  You will have to stay tuned.

Day 5

So today I am supposed to have two meetings.  The first is with a lady we will call L.  She was kind of a last minute replacement after things didn’t work out with the girl O who didn’t want to meet me because I speak Russian.  The second meeting with a beautiful girl, at least according to her pictures, who we call O2.  A get a call in the morning that O2 is currently on a business trip and will not be able to meet me.  First a friend’s father died, now a business trip.  Now O2 was one of the main reasons that I chose the agency I was dealing with in Kiev.  I know you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket, but the response I got from the agency was that she was interested in meeting me, so I was quite excited about meeting her.  Well I still had the meeting with L scheduled for 6 PM.  I went to the gym and got a pretty good workout in and also went to see the famous Golden Gate, which is located right by the apartment I am staying in.

So while I am at the gym, I get a call from the agency asking that L would like meet to meet at 4 PM as opposed to 6PM.  I was half way into my workout and I would have to leave right then to go meet her.  I told the agency that I could only meet at 6pm to which they reluctantly agreed.  I wasn’t sure if it was L asking this or they were trying to fit in other meetings with her.  So I head down to the agency and get a less than warm reception from the girls that work there.  L show up and we head down to an outside café on Kreshatik.  L is a freelance reporter currently working on a contract as an international correspondent for a local newspaper.  She told me about her travels throughout Europe on different assignments.  L also wasn’t very satisfied with the agency and said she wants to delete her profile, but was told she needed to talk to the general director first.  My guess is that the agency wants to keep as many girls in their database as possible.

The conversation with L was ok, but there was no spark or chemistry at all.  Her mind seemed elsewhere as she had a deadline the next day and had to go down to the editor’s office with her flash drive and upload her article.  She gave me her phone number and email and we agreed to stay in touch.  S feeling a little hungry, I head over to O’Brien’s Pub to get a bite to eat and hopefully meet other pathetic losers such as myself (this is getting to be a pattern).  Well the next day is my birthday and I have a meeting with a lady whom we call Y and then plan to go out with V to celebrate my birthday.

[Putin]

Day 6

So today is my birthday and regardless how the week has gone, I plan to go out and enjoy myself.  I give a call to V and invite her out to celebrate my birthday and go to a local steak house and then maybe go out to a local night club and offer to invite her friends.   V tells me she has to get up early the next day for another audition so wouldn’t be able to go to the night club, but agreed to meet me for dinner.
So at 6pm I go down to the agency to meet Y.  Y does not look as good as her picture and speaks very poor English.  The conversation is actually quite painful and she keeps asking me why I don’t want to be with an American woman and why I am interested in a Ukrainian girl.  Y is a little bit more of a feminist it seems, and I decide to keep my opinions to myself.  I just tell her that I really like history and am interested in seeing some of the historic sites in the country.  I tell her I am kind of disappointed in Kyiv, because its seems to becoming more like the Bangkok of Eastern Europe.  Every map I found in English advertises escorts, strip bars, massage parlors, and of course, marriage agencies.  Y is quite intrigued with my view on things, but it is getting close to 8PM and I am supposed to meet V soon.  I tell her if she wants to continue the conversation let’s meet for lunch tomorrow.

So as I leave, V gives me call a call and asks if we can meet later because she is with her girlfriend at the beauty parlor who is getting her hair dyed.  I agree and head back to my apartment to wait.  She finally calls and we agree to meet by the metro stop near me.  I booked reservations at Soho restaurant.  According to the locals, it’s the best steak I Kyiv.  It’s actually a pretty nice place, but there is only one other couple there.  The steak is quite good and the Argentine Malbec is excellent.  After conversing with V, it is clear that she is a really nice girl, but she is not looking to get married any time soon.  She tells me they story of the only other guy she met through the agency, an Italian guy who bragged about his castle in Italy.  When she told the guy that she recently broke up with her boyfriend for four years, the guy called her “second hand”.    Her friend calls and we all agree to go the Arena night club.  Now if you are ever in Kyiv, I suggest that you check this place out.  A lot of beautiful women and stylish young men or older men who think they are stylish.  The three of us have a pretty good time and stay out until 4:00 AM.   So much for the so called audition.

The cab drops me off and tomorrow is my last full day in Kyiv.

[Putin]

Day 7

 I sleep in until around 10:00 AM.  I get a call from the agency and they tell me that o2, the girl whose photo I was enamored with and was the reason I chose this agency in the first place wasn’t feeling well.  So I paid to meet five girls and end up only meeting four.  I feel bummed but I am heading to Poltava the next day and am hoping for greener pastures.  I also have a lunch date with Y and she calls and we agree to meet around 1:30 PM.  We head outside of the city to an open air park/museum that has old houses and villages from different parts of Ukraine.  Kind of like the Plymouth colony set up in Massachusetts.  We go to this old house that actually serves Ukrainian cuisine and this old (half drunk) Ukrainian babushkas brings us out borsch, vareniki and about 200 grams of vodka.  The food is excellent, kind of like Cracker Barrel Ukrainian style.  After lunch we walk around and look at the different houses.  We head back into Kiev and the cab drops me off at my apartment because I have plans to go watch the Ireland-Bulgaria soccer game and she has plans to meet up with friends later.  I decide to go to the Golden Gate pub to watch the game and run into this Irish guy Richard who is trying to business here in Ukraine and just last week got married.   They turn off the Irish game to watch the Ukraine-Croatia game and after a brief argument with the manager, we end up going to O’Brien’s to look for more pathetic losers such as ourselves.  Turns out that Ireland drew the match 1-1. 

Bugger.

[Putin]

Day 8

I wake up around 9:00 am and keep thinking I need to start packing because the agency wanted me out of the apartment by noon.  I still had clothes that needed to dry and it was pouring down rain outside.  Finally the sun comes out around 11:00 am and my jeans are nowhere near dry.  I pack up anyway and take a cab down to the agency.  They allow me to store my bags there until my train leaves around 4:00 PM.  I head up to walk around Saint Sophia’s cathedral and reflect on the past week. If I hadn’t planned Poltava into my trip, this would have been an absolute waste of my time and money.  The only girl I met who I was eleven remotely interested in was in a different place in her life and from what I can gather, had no intention of marring a foreigner unless maybe he has a millionaire who flies her off in hir private jet to his villa on the French Riviera. The funny thing is she may meet a guy like that with her looks, intelligence, and creative talent.  I give her a final call as I am boarding the train to go to Poltava.  She wishes me all the best and that I may find the love of my life.  We agree to stay in touch and if I am Kiev again that maybe we would meet.

The train isn’t the most comfortable in the world and not as good as the overnight trains from Moscow to Saint Petersburg.  After four hours and a four hour Russian soap opera, I arrive in Poltava.  We are definitely not in Kansas anymore and it reminds more off the way things were ten-15 years ago in this part of the world.  I think to myself that maybe this may be the place without the decadence and influx of foreigners.  The driver meets me at the train and takes me to the apartment which is probably just as nice as the one in Kyiv for half the price.  I find a place to eat and head back to get a good night’s rest, for tomorrow the journey continues.

[mirror]

Thank you.It is too funny to read.I had a great time by reading.

[Putin]

Ok, I'll just continue my report on this thread.

Day 9

So I wake up in Poltava.  I get a call from an interpreter at the agency I am using who told me she will pick me at at 10:30AM.  I already found a small supermarket and am able to get cereal and coffee for breakfast.  The interpreter picks me up in a taxi and offers to take me to get something to eat.  I told her I already ate and am anxious to go to the agency.  My interpreter Sveta is an attractive girl, with a model like body.  She will be essentially my guide in Poltava while I am here.

So we go to the agency and meet the manager.  It turns out I have three dates lined up for today.  One at noon, one at 5:00 pm, and finally one at 8:00 PM.  The one at noon with a girl we will call F was recommended by the manager, the one at 5:00 with a girl we will call M2 is one of my top five and whom I have already spoken with one the phone, and finally at 8:00 is with a girl we will call A1 who is a 21 year old whose photos look like a supermodel.

The manger seems to want me to meet more girls while I am here and goes through the agency's database picking out girls for me.  She seemed to have analyzed what I am looking for, age between 21-33, minimum height of 5'6" and no children.  She is quite persistent and I reluctantly pick about five ladies for additional dates.  I ask her about one specific girl in particular, who we will call A2 who I was completely enamoured by her photos.  A2 is 29 years old and her photos look like a young Ava Gardner (sorry, I grew up watching classic American movies with my father and she was one of his favorite actresses).  Turns out A2 is on a business trip and will not be back until Friday.    I'm completely crushed.  First the #1 girl I was interested in from Kiev couldn't meet me, now this.  Oh well, I planned to go back to Kiev two days before my flight, so maybe I can change things around.

So I go with Sveta to meet F.  I thought by F's photos that she may be a little on the heavy side, but thought maybe it was a bad photo.  Wrong.    F was a little on the heavy side, only slightly resembled her photo and had bad skin.  I had suggested to Sveta that we go to a small cafe, but turns out that F made reservations at this nice (read expensive) restaurant outside of town.  F is disappointed that Sveta will not be staying with us because there is no need for an interpeter since I speak Russian.  The place is nice and we sit outside by the pond and watch the ducks and swans.  She orders champagne (at 12 in the afternoon   ) and suggests we make several toasts to our meeting.  Our conversation is constantly interrupted by her cell phone ringing and she tells friends that she is busy because a foreigner through the agency is taking her out, but will meet them later on that day.  Our date finally ends (thank god) and we head back to the agency.

My 5:00 date is with a girl whom I received a letter from and we sent emails and talked on the phone.  We will  call her M2.  M2 also only slightly resembles her photos, but nonetheless is very attractive and has a beautiful set of eyes and auburn hair.  M2 wants to go out for sushi, which is fine by me, since I could only eat something light after the large lunch.  We go to this seafood restaurant called Poseidon a little bit away from the center.  Turns out the restaurant doesn't have sushi, so we opt for fish kabobs.  M2 and I have a pleasant conversation and joke a lot with one another.  I definitely would want to see her again, even though I have my heart set on A2 who I may not even meet.

We go back to the agency to meet Sveta and we go directly to pickup A1.  Sveta tells me that A1 is really nervous about meeting me because she has never been on a date with someone over the internet.  We arrive at A1's apartment building and out walks Giselle Bundchen     (you know, Tom Brady's girl).  I mean she is absolutely stunning with a sleek model like body and natural features and looks way better that her pictures without all the makeup.  Sveta says she we have to drop her off first before we head out.  A1 does not know where she wants to go, but Sveta says there is a nice restaurant right near her apartment building.  We arrive and turns out Sveta lives next to the Poseidon restaurant where I just was an hour before.  Can't say no I have already been here when I have only been in Poltava one day.  So we luckily end up with a different waitress.  A1 also suggests we order champagne and drink to our meeting.  A1 used to play semipro volley ball but ended up having knee surgery which ended her career.  She just graduated college and is temporarily coaching volleyball to school kids.  I ask how a girl like her ended up on a marriage agency website.  She tells me the only reason she signed up was because if you join you get a free photo session with a professional photographer.  A1 is a very nice girl and VERY nice to look at, but it is obvious she is not looking to date a foreign man and probably just wants the free dinner at a nice restaurant.  On the way back I ask for her email or cell phone, which she is reluctant to give.  She said she is on odnoklassniki.ru which is kind of a Russian facebook and I can contact her that way.

Well at least Poltava is starting better than Kiev and I have another three dates lined up for tomorrow.  We'll see how they go.

[Noname]

It is nice to read your trip report as i have spent a lot of time in Ukraine also. Was it Kiev Connections that you used in Kiev ?