The phrase "Mail-Order Bride" and it's usage.

[Paul]

From a different topic...

What is your impression of the "Mail Order Bride" industry, as you see it now?

I wish people here would stop using the term "Mail Order Bride" 

No one here would like people to think that they "bought" their wife, or that she sold herself, so why do so many of you go out of your way to keep the term alive???

I hate to admit this, but when I see that term being used, it makes me glad that Ada is not Russian, and that we did not meet on any kind of dating/agency site.

[Donhollio]

 D_D I agree as I'm sure others do as well. It's a bad name that has stuck around and it won't die off.  A mail order blonde ...errr I mean bride , goes back further than the days of the CCCP. I recall a nice glossy magazine in the  mid 80's at my aunt's where western men were featured. the dudes were all photographed in a studio,and the mag was sent out to I guess any ladies that were looking for a man. BTW I don't think it was distributed past  Canada and the USA. 

 So the mail order stuck, I don't think Internet Ordered Bride has the same ring to it. But we can just call it International Dating,as it was sold to me by CBS producers,only to find out the tittle was " How I Bought my Mail Order Bride"
 
 What can one do. it is what it is.  Just wondering D_D has anyone said the similar crap about Ada as they say about other FSU girls, you know being so desperate to get out ,and only wanting a green card  ? 
Or does RO  escape that stigma ?
 

[2tallbill]

D Dreamer ...........Yeah, I know what you mean.

Without disparaging Kimosabe for using a well used term here are some
random thoughts that are slightly related but not entirely. If a mod wants to move
this post somewhere more relevant I have no problem with it. 

Although I am totally tired of political correctness, calling the ladies Mail Order Brides
is factually incorrect. Calling the industry the "MOB" might be a little more accurate
because of all the swindlers in and around it.

I have a number of not at all close friends. Guys who I know that sometimes go to the
same watering hole as I do who otherwise I wouldn't cross paths with. They can ask
some of the worst questions imaginable. Like "are you gonna buy one of them Russian chicks?"

I make a joke at first and say "yeah I got one on layaway, just two more payments and
she's mine!" then something like "did you ever here of the emancipation proclamation?"
then something like "we fought a big ole civil war to make sure stuff like that doesn't
happen." Maybe half have heard of the emancipation proclamation, but even the mouth
breathers have heard of the civil war and start realizing that you can't buy other human
beings.

Then the questions start poring in as they have absolutely no clue at all as whats involved.
I set them straight that on a number of things and try to steer the conversation somewhere
else because eventually one of them will ask what they gotta do to get one of them Russian
chicks for their very own.

I say something like "it's a piece of cake simply Learn Russian, go get a visa, go
to Russia five or six times, get a RW to fall in love with you, then wait a year for her to come" also you need to talk to her for an hour every single day in between. You can
actually see and hear the gears turning inside there heads while they realize that they
are not willing or able to do any of the things I just said and certainly not all of them.

Follow up questions I get:
Q: Is learning  Russian hard?
A: It's about as complicated as time travel

Q: How come you haven't married / brought one back yet?
A: Because it's harder than it looks

I could go on but I have a big project delivering that I need to be there for.
Maybe I will post some other thoughts when I get some time.

[AkMike]

I recall a nice glossy magazine in the  mid 80's at my aunt's where western men were featured.

Almost right. But make it the 1880's! I read about early US settlers doing the mail order bride after they set out the stakes for their homestead. It's been around a long time,

[Brasscasing]

The history behind the term itself is a grey area. There are a few agency's that answer the question in their Q&A sections, most refer back to
Yale Professor of History, Howard R. Lamar who is quoted extensively as to the origins of the term "Mail Order Bride." However, although he is quoted the agencies don't provide a source. Google the name if you want to see quotes attributed to him.

There are  books on the subject, one being:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Hearts-West/Chris-Enss/e/9780762727568/

 And seems to have been well received (Check out the first ad in the Matrimonial [Edit: Times should read News], now that's an age gap. ).

There are also references to so called "mercy('s) girls" apparently  named after someone named Mercy and "casket girls" a nickname given because of the luggage they travelled with (?). I don't know if these other names/reasons are true or not.

Brass

[Paul]

What can one do. it is what it is.  Just wondering D_D has anyone said the similar crap about Ada as they say about other FSU girls, you know being so desperate to get out ,and only wanting a green card  ? 
Or does RO  escape that stigma ?

Of all the people that knew I was going to, or had been in Romania, one guy said something like "ya going to look for a wife"? (I hate the rednecks around here, most of them probably think "Romania" is just a fancy way for saying "Rome"  ).

There is no comparison to the amount of crap I heard (and brushed off) when the same type of people knew I was going to, or had been in Russia.

Without disparaging Kimosabe for using a well used term...

I hope it does not appear as if I was upset with Kimosabe, his was just the last post that I saw the term being used in, and that is why I quoted it.

[Brasscasing]

Here is an opinion article about personal ads in the 1800's. As I posted on another topic, this phenominon has been around for a long time.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9800E0D6143AF937A25751C0A9659C8B63

Brass

[windchimes]

What is your impression of the "Mail Order Bride" industry, as you see it now?

"It sure beats what I can find at Wal-Mart, and I save gas, too."

That would be a great sarcastic reply to those who call it the Mail Order Bride Industry.
 

[fireeater]

Well I keep ordering, but so far none have actually been delivered so far. 

Everytime one is about due, my regular postman disappears and a few days later he returns with this silly smile on his face. 

[Vinnvinny]

I think the term MOB will become a lot more acceptable when they introduce next day delivery and a 14 day replacement guarantee.

[Paul]

I think the term MOB will become a lot less funny when someone places your future wives on the same level as a prostitutes, either verbally or just mentally.

[windchimes]

I think the term MOB will become a lot less funny when someone places your future wives on the same level as a prostitutes, either verbally or just mentally.

Actually my reply above was a dig at many of the local women that can be seen at Wal-Mart, but it seems no one caught it.  I guess using it as a reply to those who question ones use of the service would only get the same result.  Criticizing the local women seems to be in vogue on this web site.  There are some desirable local women, by the way. Just not enough of them.

As far as the opinions that some may have of the Lady's, we can't control what others think, and they can't make us care about what they think. But you do have a point.

[Catman]

Yeah, Wal mart grosses me out too What is the most stupid or rude remark any of you have heard in regards to your RW? One person asked me "Is she a communist?" Another guy mentioned the "Mail order bride" remark a couple of times and if he could have said it just one more time he would never have forgotten my response but maybe that day will come.

[fireeater]

I think the term MOB will become a lot less funny when someone places your future wives on the same level as a prostitutes, either verbally or just mentally.

Considering I would never refer to her in that manner, not even indicate that she was, my reply to one who did use this is just what I said. Never came in the mail, the postman keeps stealing them.  

To me this term is antiquated, International Dating is more appropriate today. You have local internet dating today in so many forms, international dating is just as extension of that.

The only true MOB today is an arranged marriage which still exists and happens today.  

If these are the type you associate with that can not understand you can actually meet someone from afar, and have a connection, then I would look for new people to have as my friends.

But I am also well versed with turning someones comment back on to them, and winning. Had a lot of practice with the women in my office. Most evidently give up with the threat they would tell my wife (now ex) on me. I always said go ahead she will believe you.  

If you let them get you riled you have lost.  

[BCKev]

What is the most stupid or rude remark any of you have heard in regards to your RW?

I did have one fellow Canuck advise me that I should be careful the woman wasn't just after a green card.

No such thing as a green card in Canada last time I checked.