The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?  (Read 2940 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline SearchingForMore

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2014, 03:46:31 PM »
Thanks again for the advice Bill.
I'm in no great hurry to initiate skyping with her, by which I mean I'd like to have another phone call or two first. I hope to call her again later this week. We've exchanged several emails since we spoke this morning, and she expressed surprise that I called so quickly. I think it was a good surprise at least. ;D
Sometime in the next few emails I'll bring up Skype and see what happens. I've only rarely used Skype myself, but I did open it up and dust the cobwebs away so it would be ready soon. (Ok, I had to have them reset my password because I forgot.) :laugh:

Offline Moby

  • Member
  • Posts: 30
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: RU
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2014, 03:22:54 AM »

Any thoughts/advice will be greatly appreciated!  tiphat

1/  can you afford it ?

2/ know what YOU want

3/ try to understand what she wants

4/ understand that even if you think you've found the right one that Russians say 'you have to eat 50 tonnes to salt together - to really understand one another' . Any language barrier makes that understanding take a lot longer.








Offline blast

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #17 on: October 04, 2014, 03:04:26 AM »
Hello SFM.  TooTall has good advice...  tiphat 

I was fortunate to find Mrs. Blast on my first WoVo trip, but I also had a backup plan if it didn't work.  My wife also initially complained from various previous keyboard romance experience... such that when we first met on-line, the thing she was looking for the most in a Man was 'someone that took actions, not just words'. :snivel:

One key to our success is that we met on an open site that offers a personality profile test (for small premium membership)... this test is properly translated in both English and Russian, such that the predicted compatibility for me and my wife was spot-on!  This compatibility matching went a long way in helping us share some of that 50 tonnes of salt before our first meeting.

The site:  www.lava-place.com

From my search, I started communications with 5 'compatible' women of my choice, and with 2 women that had chosen me... of this 7, the field was narrowed down to 3 at the time of my first trip.  For me, I did not use Skype until after the first meeting, making it easy to break off connection with the other 2 when it became clear I had met Mrs. Blast. 

Oh yes, my first meeting was in Nizhiny Novgorod was in late Feb. (6 weeks after we met on-line) :plane:  I did enjoy the cold weather during this trip. 

Arriving in Moscow, she met me in the airport for the 5-hour train-ride back to her city.  I then checked into the local hotel (automatic police registration), and went from there.  The hotel allowed us to start slowly, giving her space while she was deciding if I was Mr right... Within 4 days of my 10-day trip, I was allowed to meet my future step-son, and we both decided to plan our next steps of building our future.

Moby's advise is also accurate:  tiphat
Know what you are looking for (you must know yourself before you can know what you are looking for)... then try to understand what she is looking for.  :thumbsup:

From that angle, there was a point in our first meeting (day 8) where I had caution that our life goals did not quite fit:  as she was very involved in her Salsa Dancing circle (at semi-pro instructor level) :party0011:.  While this talent is very exciting and unique, I felt like she might be looking for the life of a pro-dancer, not the life of a wife and mother :o.  This crossroad was our moment of bonding, as she admitted the dancing was only her escape from the difficult working single-mom life she was living, explaining this hobby offered escape from the pain of not having a husband and family.  After this crossroad, we found that we both wanted the same thing, :party0031:  and we experienced a deeper bonding from that moment forward  :loving:

That trip was back in Feb of 2011, and I can still remember the slight fear in the back of my mind as the plane was landing at SVO (Sheremetyevo International).  I reminded myself that this was an adventure, and this fact would mean anything could happen!  I dropped the negative thoughts and decided to just GO FOR IT!

When I speak about this moment now with Mrs. Blast, we laugh about her memory of how strange I looked to her in person... body language, manner of speech, dress, etc.:eeekk:  She also had the same slight fear I had at the first meeting.

When you hold the first meeting, understand RW will likely have the same fear and caution that you have.  But actually, this is where the adventure begins! 


Offline Jeffery

  • Member
  • Posts: 494
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #18 on: October 04, 2014, 07:36:27 PM »


The site:  www.lava-place.com


Interesting site.
But what do you make of its honesty?
Showing dozens and dozens of women 'online' at 3-4 a.m. their time!   (:)

Offline blast

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2014, 01:44:33 AM »


The site:  www.lava-place.com


Interesting site.
But what do you make of its honesty?
Showing dozens and dozens of women 'online' at 3-4 a.m. their time!   (:)

Jeffery... This site is like most 'free sites', in that it will have a mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly (WM = the ugly?) :sick0012:

I had a very easy time filtering out scam risk profiles, and I did enjoy the large number of fresh profiles being added each week.  It was also easy to see who was active in the site, and who was not.

The constant on-line issue may be because of smart-phones being connected all-hours of the day.  Similar to my smart phone constantly connected to my home Wi-Fi showing on-line status in Skype (even though I am fast asleep)

I used the site filtering in this fashion:  1) Are they recent to the site?  2) are they active?  3) are they thoughtful in their posted profile communication?  4) Are they well educated?  5) Are they open to someone of my age group (within reason!) 

From this set of filters, I would send out test communication that would comment on a mutual interest or book.  The predicted personality match also was key to this search criteria.  I found communication with women of less than 4/5 matching stars was often a waste of time.   

I would say I did review several hundred profiles before I had communication with the short list of 5. 

To quote CaptB: ( tiphat tiphat tiphat
If you are adventuress, flexible, don't need a lot of hand-holding, surprises are no problem.....then go for it. Because of cultural differences, language.....and no such thing as "perfect" translation....... marriage to a RW.....is the "Graduate"......program. There will be added difficulties for sure.....but extra rewards.......if you survive :-)

This is right on the money!  :money: Have you completed prerequisites to participate in the "Graduate" program of finding your RW?

 :RUS:

Offline Orchid

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2050
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Female
  • Spouses Country: USA
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: Resident
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #20 on: October 05, 2014, 03:40:22 AM »

To quote CaptB: ( tiphat tiphat tiphat
If you are adventuress, flexible, don't need a lot of hand-holding, surprises are no problem.....then go for it. Because of cultural differences, language.....and no such thing as "perfect" translation.......
marriage to a RW.....is the "Graduate"......program. There will be added difficulties for sure.....but extra rewards.......if you survive :-)


Have you completed prerequisites to participate in the "Graduate" program of finding your RW?
This is right on the money!

You, guys, are so funny!
I repeat again and again: Western men are the best husbands in the world!!!
My apologies to RM. They need to work hard on their degree to be competitive.
I hope RW do not miss this moment when they read this forum.
It’s late. I am done with a paper in my Anthropology class about Inca culture.
I wish it would be about Russian-American cross culture.
May be next time, or next class, or next life, or next degree…….  :)
 


Offline Annushka

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 994
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #21 on: October 05, 2014, 04:51:34 AM »
Quote
I repeat again and again: Western men are the best husbands in the world!!!

Orchid, can I ask you a comparative analysis of Russian and American your husbands?

Offline sharonhaber00

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1714
  • Country: il
  • Gender: Male
  • If you call it "Avatar", let it be Avatar...
  • Spouses Country: Israel
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: 1-5
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city?
« Reply #22 on: December 12, 2014, 04:44:24 AM »
For the record I would likely be able to visit in early December.

The time has come :plane:
Nadie no sabe lo que tiene hasta el día que lo pierde.

Online 2tallbill

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14484
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: WMVM with a clear favorite in a less traveled city
« Reply #23 on: December 12, 2014, 10:16:49 AM »
General question...it doesn't mean in just PH, could just be a coworker or someone you've met somewhere random.

If I like to have conversation with someone, does that mean I'm infatuated with them
or have a crush on them or something like that?

I'm not sure I understand the question.

If you talk to a waitress about the weather it doesn't mean you are infatuated with
her. In international relationships you want to save your feelings until you meet in
person.

In many of my adventures with FSUW we had a great connection until we met in person.
You either have chemistry when you meet in person or you don't. Sometimes the person
you are communicating with has a fatal flaw for a long term relationship with you. So you
want to try to keep your feelings separate. My goal was to be cautiously optimistic. I wasn't
always successful.

When things fall apart after months of conversations after finally meeting in person,
I've often been very discouraged. However, I've dusted myself off and started searching
again. I met my wife because I kept searching when things fell apart.

Udachi!


Bill


“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out.
The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.
Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.
They’re there to stop the other people.” —Randy Pausch
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls