Talk > The Adventure Begins
It's not easy juggling multiple women, how do you guys do it?
vendelo:
I've always been a monogamist. Of course I understand the WMVM theory but I think I'm a WOVO-guy. I started my FSUW search in February. I wrote one girl. After a week it imploded. Then I wrote a second girl. That went well for 2 months with plans to meet in September until that imploded.
Then out of the blue, a girl in Hong Kong who I met online through match 18 months ago wrote to me. Now we've been emailing daily for a week or so and are planning to meet in October. I was content with that until today when I receive a reply from a very beautiful and charming Belarussian girl whom I emailed about 10 days ago.
And being the monogamist that I am, I know I'm going to struggle with "courting" these two girls.
So how do you guys do it? How do you "court" more than one girl?
Do I need to embrace the cold-hearted bastard in me?
Donhollio:
Ya you better embrace it damn quick! Otherwise your going to be on this implosion ride for a very long time..... IMO of course.
First rule when you begin talking with them, have their spread sheet of interests and her general stuff in front of you. It'll keep you from messing up the info for the girls.
Second rule, don't be a pussycat, be nice, but be confident (these aren't Fillipinas who will be desperate to get out of the country)
Third tell them you will not be travelling to meet them until you have completed your trip report, that is our main priority these days.
Four, good luck with it all, and if you wind up having a 'sexy time' with them, be damn sure you use the same pet name on all of them. I learned that years ago when I dropped the name of her cousin.... nuff said.
JayH:
Keep good notes--keep them well hidden! I have a personal code of conduct that is strong in treating others as I would like to be treated myself .I rationalise multiple girls by telling myself that untill their is a 100% 2 way commitment then it is ok to examine options.
Ade:
--- Quote from: vendelo on June 22, 2012, 01:05:13 AM ---I've always been a monogamist. Of course I understand the WMVM theory but I think I'm a WOVO-guy. I started my FSUW search in February. I wrote one girl. After a week it imploded. Then I wrote a second girl. That went well for 2 months with plans to meet in September until that imploded.
Then out of the blue, a girl in Hong Kong who I met online through match 18 months ago wrote to me. Now we've been emailing daily for a week or so and are planning to meet in October. I was content with that until today when I receive a reply from a very beautiful and charming Belarussian girl whom I emailed about 10 days ago.
And being the monogamist that I am, I know I'm going to struggle with "courting" these two girls.
So how do you guys do it? How do you "court" more than one girl?
Do I need to embrace the cold-hearted bastard in me?
--- End quote ---
If you're going to feel guilty and uncomfortable, it doesn't suit you, so don't do it.
I never could. I always internet dated serially. The trick is to quickly move along if and when it became obvious that the woman wasn't compatible and not to drag your feet if it looked like she was. October is stretching it to the point of serious foot friction if you ask me.
If you insist on internet dating multiple women, be honest with them about it or, at the very least, do not mislead them. Yes, some, perhaps a lot of women "know how this works" but I think you'd be surprised at how many are naive. And especially when you get as far as the "let's meet" phase, many will be truly pissed if they find out after the fact that you're still talking to others and planning on meeting them too. And yes, there will be many that won't be interested in meeting you if they know you're considering a VM trip. Such are the breaks. Having your cake and eating it usually requires surreptitious and deceitful behaviour. If anyone is going to do it, they may as well admit that. :biggrin:
JayH:
--- Quote from: Ade on June 22, 2012, 02:09:48 AM ---
If you're going to feel guilty and uncomfortable, it doesn't suit you, so don't do it.
If you insist on internet dating multiple women, be honest with them about it or, at the very least, do not mislead them. Yes, some, perhaps a lot of women "know how this works" but I think you'd be surprised at how many are naive. And especially when you get as far as the "let's meet" phase, many will be truly pissed if they find out after the fact that you're still talking to others and planning on meeting them too. And yes, there will be many that won't be interested in meeting you if they know you're considering a VM trip. Such are the breaks. Having your cake and eating it usually requires surreptitious and deceitful behaviour. If anyone is going to do it, they may as well admit that. :biggrin:
--- End quote ---
I am worrying about myself now-- twice in one day I agree with you.
It is crucial that girl thinks she is the centre of your universe-- she can get cheating sob's on her doorstep.
In my own case when I first ventured to Ukraine I felt bad being in contact with more than one girl-- and tapered my contact with others as my internet relationship warmed up and even more when my time to visit came closer.The reality was-- girl did not come to arranged meeting! This was despite being in phone contact only 6 hours before arriival time .She would not answer her phone to explain,her friends could not convince her.I was in shock--it went against every possible instinct.In reality-- she simply got cold feet when it was really going to happen.
It was hard work to start again there and then-- every girl asked "did you come to meet a girl"? Some were ok with it-- others said when you come to me only I will consider meeting!
It is definately a tightrope.
ps about a month after I returned home I got an email apologising.By this time I had become more knowledeable and intitialy thought it was simply an attempt to get me to spend more money-- but no--she was very real and sincerely embarrassed and sorry.
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