Spoke on phone and video chatted on Skype -- What next?

[557chris]

My name is Chris.  This is my first post on this site, so any advice is good. I am fairly new to looking for Russian women, but have done a ton of research in a short amount of time (1 month).   I met a girl from Lugansk on  a free website. She is 34 divorced with a kid, and I am 40, divorced with kids as well.  We have exchanged emails for about a month now without her asking for money and slowly learning things about one another and our children.  We have had a couple of phone calls, but her English is not very good. I can understand her, but it's hard to talk of anything with substance so I don't call often.  This week we spoke on skype, and she arranged for a friend of hers to translate.  It went well, and we're planning to do it again soon.  I've read so many horror stories about online scammers from Lugansk, that I keep thinking the hammer will drop any time now. 

Any suggestions of what I could do or ask her to help put my mind at ease?  I think I am ready to plan a trip to meet her, but I want to be as sure as I can be before I do this.

Thanks,
Chris

[missAmeno]

Welcome to the forum 

Any suggestions of what I could do or ask her to help put my mind at ease?  I think I am ready to plan a trip to meet her, but I want to be as sure as I can be before I do this.

Chris, be careful about any test questions, women smell them mile away and after them always left unpleasant "residue"

Just have normal conversations about her life, things she likes or dislikes, her feelings towards certain things in life, books, news, etc When any subject that of interest to you (in aka testing field) comes in conversation then you can ask more detailed questions. Just remember conversation should be natural and not resemble interrogation or any kind of testing.

[TomT]

What's next is talking with her every day until you can communicate properly. Mail her a Lonely Planet Russian-English phrase book and keep a copy for yourself; you're going to need it.

[JayH]

Good advice from again missA.Chris-- do not get hung up on the potential negatives.From what you have said--I give 100% plus -- so far.One of the things I rate highest is to "normalise" a relationship as soon as possible.So far-- that is exactly what you have achieved.There  are all the obvious differences to deal with-- but if treated with respect and understanding for someone else's position you will find a way.
        There is so much nay-saying on the forums-- you need to read some of the success stories also-- to get a proper balance. Two things-- never let her know you are checking or suspicious-- let information come to you--it will in time. Secondly-- even if she did ask for money-- that does not make her a scammer or insincere.
       Last-- go and meet sooner rather than later!!  Do not let your expectations run ahead of reality-- make no presumptions.
   

[TomT]

Secondly-- even if she did ask for money-- that does not make her a scammer or insincere.   

At least nine times out of ten it does.

[557chris]

I really appreciate the advice, all of it. All three suggestions sounded good, and I'll give them a shot. Regular conversation, sending the book, and calling more.  I'll give an update if anything good (or bad) happens.

thanks,
Chris

[TomT]

... sending the book...
Chris

http://www.amazon.com/Lonely-Planet-Russian-Phrasebook-2nd/dp/0864423071


This way, you can be on the same page... literally. Of course, it won't go smoothly until she understands English page numbers or you understand Russian page numbers. With a bit of practice, though, communication will improve. If you can still stand each other after a few hundred hours of this, you will be well-prepared for your first meeting.

[Manny]

Consider a three way call once a week using your own person. General wisdom suggests avoiding a woman's friends.

Don't be too hung up about potential scammers in Lugansk. There was a big criminal ring there some years ago that got busted. More scams seem to come out of Kiev and Odessa nowadays.

Don't look for red flags where there are none. Just don't send any money for 'emergencies' if asked. Let it develop and use any and all tools to build meaningful communication between you two.

[MBS01]

Hi Chris:
All seems well from what you wrote.  David, one of the marrtied guys I have known here for many years "Quicksilver" who rarely posts found his wife in one of the villages outside of Lugank and they already have 2 children together as well.

As to meeting on a "Free Site", my wife and I did that as have a number of other RUA members so not likely a problem there from what you have written as well either.  Back a few years ago we did this adventure without skype and all worked out in the end.  As noted a good dictionary and meeting in Ukraine together will determine if you are truely ready to take things to the next level.  So have you talked about meeting her and getting to know her in person.  A good indication will be how she reacts once she knows you are serious about making a trip and actually meeting her.  Even skype is no match for real face to face time.  Good Luck.

[welder]

Welcome to the forum Chris.  Not much to add to the advice already given by senior guys/gal.  Good luck. 

[557chris]

It appears that I have been wasting my time.  I got a form letter today from whoever was writing me. It was written in a completely different style than all the other letters written to me, so I was suspicious.  Thanks to what I read on this forum, I googled a line in the message, and like magic, there was my letter.   Real woman must have been paid to talk to me through skype. If I'm lucky she got paid, and the real person behind the letters is out a few bucks. I am not about wasting my time on getting scammed, so lesson learned.  I am not giving up, just trying new avenues.  I appreciate the advice given on this forum, and I hope to post something in the future when I have some good luck.  Also, does anyone have an opinion about meeting women on planetlovematch?  I was thinking of trying it out, but thought I would ask those of you with experience first.

Thanks all,
Chris

[NS1]

It appears that I have been wasting my time.  I got a form letter today from whoever was writing me. It was written in a completely different style than all the other letters written to me, so I was suspicious.  Thanks to what I read on this forum, I googled a line in the message, and like magic, there was my letter.   Real woman must have been paid to talk to me through skype. If I'm lucky she got paid, and the real person behind the letters is out a few bucks. I am not about wasting my time on getting scammed, so lesson learned.  I am not giving up, just trying new avenues.  I appreciate the advice given on this forum, and I hope to post something in the future when I have some good luck.  Also, does anyone have an opinion about meeting women on planetlovematch?  I was thinking of trying it out, but thought I would ask those of you with experience first.

Thanks all,
Chris

To tall Bill can advise you PLM as I think he is or was a customer

[TomT]

Chris,

The last thing that a scammer wants to do is to spend hours on the phone (or on Skype) with her mark every day. A girl who has genuine interest, on the other hand, will enjoy the interaction and will welcome the opportunity to improve her communication with you. Men who put too much emphasis on emails and text messages usually miss the warning signs.

There is no pressing need for you to change your tactics because there are plenty of sincere girls mixed in with the scammers on almost any site. With a bit more experience, you will be able to pick them out easily.

[JayH]

Where has the OP gone.I am always waiting to here how they get on after they get all this "good" advice.

[soyoukan]

It appears that I have been wasting my time.  I got a form letter today from whoever was writing me. It was written in a completely different style than all the other letters written to me, so I was suspicious.  Thanks to what I read on this forum, I googled a line in the message, and like magic, there was my letter.   Real woman must have been paid to talk to me through skype. If I'm lucky she got paid, and the real person behind the letters is out a few bucks. I am not about wasting my time on getting scammed, so lesson learned.  I am not giving up, just trying new avenues.  I appreciate the advice given on this forum, and I hope to post something in the future when I have some good luck.  Also, does anyone have an opinion about meeting women on planetlovematch?  I was thinking of trying it out, but thought I would ask those of you with experience first.

Thanks all,
Chris

i am really sorry to hear that it is a scam.. it will always be disappointing, but use it positively for the next time.  you'll get adept at spotting the signs!   anyway, i wish you continued luck in your quest.