Konfushus, yes, nobody looking for a foreign wife is 'normal', not in that regard at least. But it is within the realm of normal behaviours, it ain't illegal, yet.
Chances are that he will have been getting stuff like don't ive her any money. But also he is very likely, just as most British and American men are, to be unaware of how expectations differ between over there and over here. It usually takes a while for a bloke to catch on and quite a few never do and wonder what went wrong.
The big thing here is this. She spent time with the bloke,she liked him. I have never given any intimation that anything else was the case, although some people here have fantasised that the guy was somehow inadequate. Not only did she like him, she liked him enough that she was willing to consider changing her life path such that she might marry the bloke. This is not a little achievement. Asocial people do not get to do such things.
Where he went wrong was in not thinking about her situation. To him it was easy: invite a poor but attractive woman to his home, show her the greatness that life with him would offer and wait for her to swoon and gasp acceptance of his terms.
In this he was not and is not alone. Guys still have the memories passed down from a decade or two ago of women willing to sell their future for an air ticket and a chance at a different colour passport. Women worth having do not come anywhere close to that. They probably never did.
Thing is though that women look to men to be able to provide for them, or more importantly for their kids. This man fell over because he refused to see her perspective, to empathise with her. He saw things only from his side and from his experience and an assumption that a pleasant time spent together would end up with him married to this very pleasant young woman.
For her, he could not see that her visiting him for a couple of months had a real cost to her and that if he wanted her to go be with him then the ONLY way it could happen was if he helped to meet those costs. That boded very badly for the future, a future during which she WOULD be dependent upon him for an extended period of time.
From where I was sitting it looked to me that he had had bad experiences in Ukraine and chose to withdraw himself. He wanted to shift all the burden of courtship onto the women he he invites to visit him. (I am sure she is not the only candidate for this guy's big love!)
The cost to him is a mere bagatelle and this girl knows it.
She knows that the money is not the root issue. She knows that his willingness to help her to enable her self fulfillment, or lack of it, is the root. But by marrying him she knows that she would be enabling his self fulfillment. And no, we did not put it quite those terms when we talked about it but that's the gist of it.
If she had gone to visit him in the summer I reckon that nuptials would have been the likely and happy outcome. He blew it.
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