Donhollio's FSU Pursuit !

[Donhollio]

 Well at least we're past the titty talk.     I should of taken a pic from the backside to show you all the rest of the shirt. It always amazes me what gets talked about in this TR, coffee filters, airbrushing photo's, and now Moby playing Doctor..... at 10yo    Let's hope the kukuruza didn't put a rise in his Levis.  

[1msmoby]

It always amazes me what gets talked about in this TR, .... and now Moby playing Doctor..... at 10yo    Let's hope the kukuruza didn't put a rise in his Levis.  

Hi Don !

At 10 yrs old I hadn't heard of Levi's and was obviously 'exploring' the early stages of my 'sexual development' .. but I'm 50 now, and I've never heard of 'kukuruza', so this thread is about to become even more 'educational' for me.. 

[markje]

It always amazes me what gets talked about in this TR, .... and now Moby playing Doctor..... at 10yo    Let's hope the kukuruza didn't put a rise in his Levis.  

Hi Don !

At 10 yrs old I hadn't heard of Levi's and was obviously 'exploring' the early stages of my 'sexual development' .. but I'm 50 now, and I've never heard of 'kukuruza', so this thread is about to become even more 'educational' for me.. 

Read the last 2 installments on this threads main purpose : Don's dating adventures How it came to be, is all explained here.

''Ira, you like the kukuruza?'' ( Russian for cobbed corn) With my eyebrows bouncing up and down.  She looks at me and notices the now eaten cob is down on the front of my shorts sticking straight up!   
 Ira looks and sees the faux genitalia and her eyes open wide! Quickly she scrambles through her English/Russian word book, all the while I have a perma grin wondering what she is looking up. After a several seconds... ''Don, you are a sc-oun-drel.''  All I could do was laugh, and little Ira had a laugh over it as well, and from that day forth Hollio jr was known as the kukuruza.

[1msmoby]

Thx Markje,

I must have a subconscious mechanism that allows me to pass over parts of TR that refer to 'intimate parts'

[BelleZeBoob]

There is a little funny couplet in Russia about the corn:

Не ходите, девки, замуж
За Ивана Кузина.
У Ивана Кузина -
Большая кукурузина 

translation:
"Girls, don't marry Ivan Kuzin. He has a big kukuruza in his pants".

[Donhollio]

 Thank you BelleZeBoob for that translation, it's nice to see I'm not alone in this    Thanks Markje     And Moby pay better attention 


   I always felt at ease with Ira, seems whatever I said or gestured she just ate it up.  One late afternoon while leaving Arkadia, we boarded the tram to take us back to the centre. As we stood waiting for it to get rolling, Ira was standing hanging onto the pole, and with her Greek lace heels and mini skirt, I couldn't help but utter these words...DANCE ! 
 Well I have no idea what some girls may have said, but little Ira found it very funny and started doing that cute laugh of hers. ''Ohh Don, you are funny man !''    I never tried to be on my best behaviour, she just saw me as I am, and she was lovin it!

 During this week Anna calls to ask if I would like to come with her to her families dacha, and finally meet her mother. I'm figuring a Saturday and most of Sunday would be a nice break from the city, and being able to finally meet the mom after knowing Anna for the past 4 years.  Of course the timing could of been better.  Ira once again took off back to her village earlier in the week, and basically she returned late Friday evening. When I told her I was leaving with Anna, she wasn't overly happy but she understood it was just for one night.
 So once again I had to meet Anna at an exact time outside her door, she wanted to hit the market before leaving, and told me the freshest meats are bought early in the day. And after my first visit to a market in 2003, I was in full agreement after seeing the chickens laying on the concrete tables on a +30c day. The birds were turning blue, and the seller was waving a branch over the birds to keep the flies from landing.

 Thankfully this time at the market we went inside to buy our meats. It was kinda fun shopping with Anna, I'd walk behind while she looked over the meats, and would turn to ask for the money. I wondered to myself if this is how those guys I'd see back home felt. Yes dear...no dear.  Anyway we take to the highway with Marsha at the wheel. It was my first time out on the UA highways in a car, and was hoping that she didn't drive like the mini bus drivers! Once we pulled up to the dacha, I could see that Anna's family enjoyed a privileged life under Soviet rule.
 The dacha by all accounts was quite cosy, with a large yard full of fruit trees and garden vegetables. I did find it strange that even out in the countryside that they'd still have it compound within a compound.  Even though her mom and aunt spoke no English, it was a delight to finally meet her. So there I was out at a dacha with 4 females, and the girl I was dating sitting back in Odessa waiting for me to return.

 I have never had a girls mother who didn't like me, and this seemed to be no exception   While the girls all gabbed, I'd just sit there and relax taking in the peacefullness. the mother wanted to show me what she does out there, so her and I took a stroll into the back to see all the fruits and veggies she grows. It was a impressive haul, and now I understood when I first began corresponding with Anna the time she told me she was busy doing preserving of the foods. A long lost pastime in Canada, yet it is routinely done in Ukraine providing one has the land I suppose. So she'd point to certain things and I'd just say the word in English, and her in Russian.

  I began wondering if this was how some guys break the ice with their future mother inlaws.
Something that I had never noticed being around Anna before was her relationship with her mother. But it didn't take long to see that they were very close. All the girls seemed to get along just fine with each other, and I quickly learned my place. I wasn't allowed to do anything, couldn't light the BBQ, help prepare the food, nothing, just sit and be the guest. One of the biggest delights was inside the dacha pinned to the wall... it was my stupid huge world map I had given Anna a few years before. Anna quickly points to it upon entry, and I my curiosity of what she had done with it was answered. 
 If you remember back on my first visit I was getting ready to leave Odessa to go back home, and all I gave this to her. the thing is about the size of a large TV 3x4 feet 1m x 1.25m But there it was up on the wall with pins stuck on different cities from around the world.  Anna told me her mom has been to all those places when she was a ship steward. Again this was all news to me, her mom had been to the north pole, and to all but Australlia and North America.
 I must of studied that wall map for 5 minutes, and here I thought the family had only been to Malta. I get the usual questions about my life and family, and I can tell the mother and aunt are very interested in this Canuck's background!

 After doing nothing in the way of helping out with anything the 4 of us take a walk down to the river after dinner. I decide to walk out into the river, I don't know what was in the water but it left a slime on my legs,and I decided I best not go much further. Some other guys were out there drag net fishing, and I really wondered what they were catching. That water had some serious algae growth going on,and I noticed more then a few fish had already succumbed to it's pollution.  As they dragged the nets back on shore they only would have 2-3 in the net , and the fish were so small (15cm) that they should of been released back.
 But this is Ukraine where over fishing happens.  I remember what Vova (2004 trip) had told me about the minnows he'd catch, and how I told him in some lakes in my province that 1.2m was not unheard of. He told me he could only dream about catching one that big, now I was able to see why.
 As the sun began to set we made our way back to the dacha, and after listening some more to the gabfest in Russian we called it a night. I sent Ira a SMS telling her good night.

 The next morning we did much the same, relax and I'd sit back and not have to worry about anything. Anna starts giving herself a manicure, and then grabs my hands one at a time to do the same to me.    Well that was the first time that has happened, the aunt and mother found it all quite funny... I guess !  I was hoping this is how our first meeting would of gone a few years earlier,it all seemed so natural, and I knew the mom and aunt saw me as a good man. Sometimes you don't need to hear the words but through gestures and body language I could tell I had scored some serious points.
  Now I knew that Ukrainian men don't do much when it comes to house duties, I saw this happen in the past, but while the 5 of us were sitting out at the eating table , the place was getting swarmed by wasp's. I sat there not wanting to get stung, and wondered why they seem to just ignore the dozens of wasp's buzzing next to us. So while they talked I took action! I got up and cleared the table of the lunch dishes, took them to the outdoor sink and rinsed them off.
 The aunt and mom looked surprised that I was doing this, and I could see out of the corner of my eye it was a strange site for them. Maybe if I was a local I would of told them to clear the table, I really don't know.  Anna just told them something that I think would of translated to, ' He's not a Russian man, this is normal for him.'   
 Shortly after it was time to pack up and head back to the city, the time seemed to go by quickly, and Anna was always concerned if I was bored, I assured her a few times I was not. On the ride back my head began to fill with thoughts of how everything seemed so nice, if she was thinking of me more as not a friend, but as someone closer to her heart. After all she was the first girl to get me on a plane, and here we were 3 years later still enjoying each others company.
If something was to take root it wouldn't be too late to back away from Ira, but I still had a week or so left, and I was going to see how it all unfolded.

[Donhollio]

  Pulling into the city I thanked Marsha for the ride, and thanked Anna for the nice weekend. My coming week was going to be a interesting one. I was still trying to get things going with Ira, and I was to meet 2 girls off that list I bought.  I was also about to meet the Dean from the School of Smooth Also known to those who haven't heard of him as 'Smooth Operator.' He was well known  on a now defunct forum.

  People either loved him or hated him, but he didn't seem to get ignored much. He had phoned me days before saying he was going to be in Odessa, and wanted to meet up. I manage to get along with most everyone, so having the Dean around for a few days wouldn't kill me. I was quite intrigued to meet this guy who had a quest on the forums to educate the SRM ( second rate muthas)  on the reality of your chances in the FSU. It all made for some interesting reading, and left us with enough acronyms to fill a page!

 I gave him a contact for a place to rent, www.odessarentaflat.com  and told him to call me once he was all settled in. I had also met with my first choice from that list. A nice looking blonde who also enjoys scuba diving. In her mid 30's with good English, and a wiliness to meet right away. So we met and had a walk up Deri to the new shopping centre where her mom was waiting for her. No money spent, just a walk and talk. Met the mom and said our goodbyes, there was nothing between us and so it was on to the next girl.

 I had some time to kill as Ira was going to be gone for a few days Tue-Fri. It's my final week and now shes gone for 4 days Wow , not the way I was expecting things to go, but nothing I can do about, she tells me she'll hurry back. Meanwhile I meet up with Smooth mid week for lunch. It was his first trip to Odessa, and I wanted to show him some of the places to go .
 I had let Guy know Smooth was in town, and so Guy together with a couple of his female employees head off to Arkadia. The weather wasn't so good, dark cloud hung over us at IBIZA, and the night was very slow. The end of the summer season was less than a week away, and the crowds had already began filtering out of the city. As the cool air swept off the sea, I knew the summer heat was gone, then came the rain. It was relentless, even the sound system shorted out. We knew it was time to call it a night, and while Smooth was gaining ground with the one girl, Guy and I decided to head back home.
 So off Smooth went with the two girls to another club up the promenade. Earlier I gave him the rundown on some do's & don'ts .
#1 Always carry your passport when in Odessa, never a copy.
#2 Don't carry large amounts of cash, take what you need for the night , $100 USD is plenty for the night we had out.

  Well.......... Must be something with American's that feel the need to pack all their cash on them. The next day I get the highlights...or low lights. The girls had decided to leave within an hour of Guy and I departing. But Smooth wanted to stay out , so they left and he went shortly after. However he got stopped by the police, failed to produce his passport, and got 'fined.' I told him what the fines were, but when your carrying hundreds... well he paid well over the 50-60 UAH, didn't play it cool enough I guess.
 Going over my list I got a few girls who were wondering how I got their info, and said they weren't looking. I called a girl named Natasha, sent her my bio, and she too wanted to meet. I'm thinking this list is turning out to be ok, I'm hitting about 40% of the ones I contacted. There was one other off that list that I email after giving up on her turned off mobile. Turns out in her email that she was working on a cruise ship, and wouldn't be back until after I was gone back home. She seemed interested in staying in contact, but things with Ira became serious and she was never heard from again.
 
  I keep in touch with Smooth and let him know I have a date near his apartment. Smooth also has a date that same evening and says to bring her to the Steakhouse (on Deri) for dinner. ''Dinner''? I say, I don't buy these girls dinner until I like them. I'll just go meet her on this prospect she asked to meet at. So I go meet her outside on the street near a boulevard that you can stroll down the centre. Natasha and I meet and she tells me about a cafe to go to. Fine I'll buy the drink and pie, but theres no meal I'm thinking to myself. So we walk into a Japanese sushi joint. Here we go    
   Flashbacks of Zaporozhye in 2005 with another seafood date. ( found in the early pages here)
So I go in with spidey senses tingling, and we sit at a table with 2 other girls. Hmmm they already have their chop sticks out... yeah this ain't workin in my eyes. So we talk for a bit, actually her 'friend' was doing most of the talking. Even at one point tapping the sticks on the table and saying, "we're really hungry." uhh huh, that's nice...So I continue to sit and just take it all in.
 Odessa girls, sushi, and I'm buying right? WRONG! After about 10 minutes and still no service to our table, I ask Natasha to come outside to speak to her. I tell her I only wanted to see her not her friends, and I'm not happy sitting with them. A little BS but who cares. I did say I wanted to see her again, but alone, and told her I'd call her the next day, I turn and walk away from the sushi place.  I never did call, just didn't have the time. And I think her friend was the one I was speaking with anyways on the phone all those times. Besides she was out for a meal they wouldn't normally get themselves, and I wasn't going to be the mule.
 Tapping the chop sticks and saying were really hungry, well all I gotta say is that Saro Paru is around the corner baby! Saro Paru being a very cheap eatery.

 I call up the Dean and tell him how I ended the date, and to my surprise he invites me over to his table with his date and inturp. Smooth Smooth Smooth, your date is about 20yo, tsk tsk. But I say nothing obviously, though the inturp was rather hot. I keep a safe distance by means of not talking unless I was asked.
 I'm thinking I cancelled a night out with Sveta for a date with the sushi Queens. Ohh well ya never know whats going to happen until you try, and little Ira didn't make it back by the Friday, so I met up with Sveta. The days were closing fast, and this was going to be the last time out with sexy Sveta. Valya had gone back to Canada, after spending many weeks visiting family and friends. Andrew and Valya  remain friends of mine to this day. Maria who I never spoke of was another girl who I would socialise with on occasion, but it was always in a group setting. The girl speaks perfect native English, and still pulls off Russian and Hebrew, really amazing IMV.
 
 
 
WARNING!        WARNING!              WARNING!             WARNING!            WARNING!

 
  The following is a mind scarring moment for Manny!   At some point Ira told me she had some cavities recently filled. I asked her how much the cost was for it all, she told me $6-7 USD per filling! What!!! I couldn't believe you could get work done that cheap! Like what was the guy using to fill the tooth, lead from a old car battery? I had to check this out and prepare myself for future Canadian based repairs.
 So out on a city centre sidewalk with the sun shining bright, I said, ''let me see.'' She opened up, but her little mouth wasn't opening enough for me to see the gnashers. So I held her head with one hand, and used my other hand to pry her mouth open to get a better look. Tilting her head back I had a excellent view of the work. (Think of that toothpaste commercial with the flip top cartoon head.)  You can find Manny calling me impecunious for that little ditty in his book. Russian Bride Guide page 25, paragraph 2   http://russianbrideguide.org/


  Sveta and I had a good time as usual, and said our goodbyes. She doesn't know about Ira, and it really doesn't matter. Finally on Saturday Ira's home, so we meet up in the early part of the day, and spend it near the beach. The season is over in Odessa, but she just is happy to be with me, as I am with her.
 As my time was drawing to a close in Ukraine, Ira and I were moving closer together. We both have a good time with each other, and theres never a awkward moment. We finally kissed one night, and it gave me some comfort knowing I wasn't going to come home and talk about a girl I dated 20 times, but never kissed. What a challenge.
 Ira's parents have told her to be careful around me, and they even tried to get her to meet a veterinarian from her town. She told them she wasn't interested, then said she wanted to be with me.
She said it in a very soft tone that I knew this was different from any other moment I've had with her. Ira has a genuine honesty, and I found myself truly falling for her.
Since I was leaving in a few days I asked if she would come see me off at the airport. Then she surprised me, and said she wanted to sleep over! Sweet Lucifer ! About time ! This is a change from 2 beds a few weeks ago, so of course I agreed to her request.
 I also made my goodbye calls to Anna and a few others. Anna wanted to know how things were with Ira and I, she seemed pleased. I never saw Anna again after our weekend trip, she was working such long hectic hours, and my time was spent with Ira.

  The night before departing Ira came over to my place. She wanted me to not go hungry, and made some food for my trip. I decided earlier to get her a new cell phone. Her display was broken and was unable to see anything on it. To make a call she would have to pull out her little phone book and press in the numbers. The first time I saw her do this I thought wow, this chick is really poor.
 I wanted her to be able to read and send SMS while I'm in Canada. That night I gave her the phone, and she was delighted! 6 months without seeing a display she was like a kid with a new toy! I got her the same one as mine, these things are a bit of a fashion statement, so I tested the waters with my phone first. She liked my phone, so I knew it would go over well her having that same one.
I also made arrangements with Guy to pre pay her English lessons, but never told her deciding to let her teacher tell her instead.  And of course it was a great all night send off

 By morning we made our way to the airport for 7am, and waited for the moment where it comes time to say goodbye. We talked and laughed until the final minutes. She knew it was coming time for me to go into the restricted zone, so I pulled out a little stuffed polar bear I brought from Canada, along with a loonie for good luck. I could see she was caressing the bear in a manner that she was not wanting to face the soon to be reality. I wasn't either, but I'm the man, I'm suppose to be strong. We walked over to the gate, and she thought she could come into the zone, but I told her it's not possible.
Then in a very quiet voice she tells me how shes going to miss me. I saw the tears forming in her eyes, it was so sad. I really didn't know what to expect from me, having not ever being in this situation before. But I knew that this was a girl I had spent alot of time with over the past month.
 It was making me sad to the point there was nothing I could say to her to make her laugh, I didn't even try, we hugged and the emotions started to build. I never hugged someone goodbye, knowing I'm not going to see them for months. As I walked through the door I turned one last time to see Ira and she had already turned away, her eyes were in full flow. It was at this time I knew just how much I meant to her, as she did to me.

 
In Arkadia they had a few of the old CCCP style pay phones, I thought it would make for some banter back home to have the Ira stand in modelling the fine craftmanship.



And one of the many nights out during this trip pulling an all nighter with Valya and a few of her friends.

[JeanClaude]

Awosome post Don, can you tell us what year this was? And is Ira the one you are dating currently?

[Donhollio]

 Thanks JC.  It was the summer of 2006, 10 week holiday    I felt like I had a school teaching job, and afterwards I wished I had become one!   Ira and I are not dating, but that's the next installment hopefully out soon.

[JeanClaude]

Thanks JC.  It was the summer of 2006, 10 week holiday    I felt like I had a school teaching job, and afterwards I wished I had become one !   Ira and I are not dating, but that's the next installment hopefully out soon.

Don, i asked about the year, because i hear Odessa is to be avoided these days, but looking at your TR, you had encountered also a couple of women who only wanted an expensive dinner, and had no intention of serious relations,

To bad it was 2006, i guess Sexy Sveta is not available anymore,  

[Donhollio]

  Odessa is full of great girls, it also has it's fair share of exhausted agency girls. To put it another way, some of the agency girls have been exposed to far too many SRM's. The Big tour companies roll in with bus loads of social misfits, and it doesn't take long before word gets out what a hopeless method it is to meet a western guy.  So some of the sincere girls drop out of the social/ agency program. While some of the ones with dishonest intentions, take up a stool and wait for the next seeker victim

 My friend Anna was one such honest girl who I found at A-web. She went to 1 social, got a large number in the form of a sticker placed on her chest, and was photographed.   She told me she felt like a whore, and never returned to the program. I was just lucky enough to have made the expensive 3-way call via the A-web operator, before she pulled her profile. Otherwise I would never had gone to Odessa, and much of these trip reports if not all would never had been written.
 Having a Odessa girlfriend would be really nice IMO, so don't avoid the city and it's girls, just be sure you can get their personal information: last name, email, even a phone number, though getting it after a couple of emails is usually how it works.  If she offers the mobile number, you know she is interested.
 As for SS, yes I'm sorry to tell you she is taken, I know if only you got to her, there may of been some hope eh ?  I sent her a ecard for Woman's Day, and she wrote today to thank me, and said her and the local boyfriend are discussing marriage.

[JeanClaude]

Don,

Thanks for the update, the guy is lucky who got Sveta,  I am very hesitant to write Odessa girls, especially if they don't speak English, (translation scam) and insist on using their translator "friend" (scam) , or want to arrange an apartment for you (kickback scam) or know a friendly taxi driver to drive you around (kickback scam), I will never pay for those but I will waste my time investing in writing letters and skypecalls.
--
PS, What is "SRM"?

[Donhollio]

  I personally would pass on a girl who was unable to speak my language. You at least know 2 languages, and some of those girls do speak French. In Odessa the gypsy taxi's can offer up some funny memorable moments.
 I'll post the following email that Smooth sent me a few weeks ago. He was rumaging through some old files, and wasn't sure if he ever posted it before.  A Smooth exclusive!  

                                                                    Acronyms
 PP (penetration prospect): a chick sought for potential insertion into any of three holes.

 PV (penetration vacation): travel to a destination with intention to transfer bodily fluids.

 PRE (penetration-related expense): things you do not buy if you stayed home, jacking off while watching porno movies. Account for everything you buy in lieu of penetration. Flowers? Count 'em. Restaurant tabs? Count 'em.
Birthday presents? Count 'em. Weekend getaways? Count them and everything else related to penetration.

 PPEE (pre-penetration entertainment expense): a category of PRE's, PPEE's are the customary expenditures during a date prior to penetration. Restaurant and bar tabs, movies tickets, cover charges, amusement park fees and other similar expenses are most common.

 PPR (penetration progress report): embellished details to share with your PSB's.

 PSB (pot-smoking buddy): a lackey who strokes your ego, and a true friend who supports you when you get rejected.

 PF (penetration frequency): a subjectively descriptive measure of one's libido. People have either LowPF, MidPF or HighPF.

 UPC (unit penetration cost): amount shelled out per insertion. Just as the head of your penis enters, ask yourself this vital question: How much money have I spent to get to this point? As you answer this question early on in a new relationship, you can easily determine an average. This may be subdivided into three categories: UPC(o) (oral), UPC(v) (vaginal) or UPC(a) (anal). [Historical note: this acronym was originally PPP (price per penetration), but is presently not part of this canon, though its meaning is synonymous and clearly understood.]

 TPC (total penetration cost): like the national debt, this is the sum total of all PRE's, regardless of PF. From beginning to end count everything--including the cost of children and divorce. This number can be staggering for a divorced man to compute, and in some cases too horrifying to consider because the true number may elicit thoughts of suicide. [Note: one may have a very low UPC, but a very high TPC; likewise, one can have a very high UPC but a very low TPC. The goal in life is to minimize both UPC and TPC while maintaining a HighPF.]

 SRM (second-rate mutha): an ugly guy who lacks the physical features to warrant a low UPC. These are the losers who are old, fat, short, bald and overweight, and these detriments, in any combination, invariably contribute to a high UPC. In short, these toads have to pay for it, but aren't we all paying for it anyway?

 UAB (ugly-ass bitch): women who should never be considered in the mate selection process for normal men, but suitable for SRM's. These are also women who appear very attractive through beer goggles in the bar at about 02:00.

[JeanClaude]

Don-sensei,

I hear Ferengis have "rules of acquisition".

But what should we call this canon of laws?

[BelleZeBoob]

Don, aren't all these acronyms essentially a part of a pickup manual for men?