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Asking Gal about working once she arrives (and is settled)

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Cabana Boy:
I have found topics regarding whether their Gal works or not.  The difficulties in finding a equivalent career. 
But How does one broach the topic (in e-mails) that once settled (who knows how long that would be?) That she would need to earn some money maybe just spending money for her or if she would like to send money back home.

cufflinks:
Lets face it to a large extent the USA and Canada and many EU countries have become two income households just so one can pay the damned taxes.  No more Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver where Mom stays home!

Best to check out her occupation and education and if her skills are transferable - in the USA Russians are still considered better educated than most other American immigrants and if her skills are transferable be it engineer, programmer, accounting, Ballet or Music teacher, seamstress, interior designer, Super-model, Chef then most Russian women can find work in the USA right away - engineers are especially in high demand and not necessarily required to be perfectly fluent in English - if they can read directions and specs and out put quality is good they can almost always find work.

Of course the better English skills they develop in the USA the easier it will be for them.

Wild Orchid:
 
--- Quote from: Cabana Boy on March 12, 2011, 05:07:32 PM ---
But How does one broach the topic (in e-mails) that once settled (who knows how long that would be?) That she would need to earn some money maybe just spending money for her or if she would like to send money back home.


--- End quote ---

If she needs to spend money on her self she needs to go to work? That's what you think? Why would she want to get married then? She works and she earns herself in FSU on her own. What would be benefits for her to get into marriage that requires for her to go to work to earn spending money, especially when she is far away from her home and her comfort zone, probably handicapped because of her language skills?

Don't get me wrong, most women want to get into work force ASAP. But if a man said to me before marriage that I Need to go to work it would make me worried. I'd started asking myself "Why? Why does he want me to go to work? To help him to pay off his huge debts? His mortgage that he can't pay on his own? Why?"

My husband never asked me this sort of questions. I asked him where I could work in hos town. He never told me I need to earn some money, in the beginning he was sending money to my mother, I'm doing it myself probably for the last 5 years without even asking him.  He knows that I had an arrangement with my mum, I put $100 on her card, when she uses it I put some more. She doesn't take money very often, but she always knows she has them.

My husband plans to retire at the end of this year, of course he has his retirement plan, but hopefully he won't have to use his retirement money just yet. He supported me all this years and now it is my time to support him. If he asked me from day 1 that I needed to go to work, I probably had different opinion on the matter of supporting a man like that.

cufflinks:



--- Quote ---He supported me all this years and now it is my time to support him. If he asked me from day 1 that I needed to go to work, I probably had different opinion on the matter of supporting a man like that.

--- End quote ---

Your husband is a wise and brilliant man - he was smart enough to take care of you in the beginning so you would want to reciprocate when the time comes - perhaps that was part of his plan all along.  Who said western men were all dumb and foolish?   :8)

Rasputin:

--- Quote from: Cabana Boy on March 12, 2011, 05:07:32 PM ---
But How does one broach the topic (in e-mails) that once settled (who knows how long that would be?) That she would need to earn some money maybe just spending money for her or if she would like to send money back home.

--- End quote ---

Simple, ask her. Ask her whether she likes her job, ask her what kind of job she wants if she does move, ask her how important work and career are to her ...

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