The initial "Love" factor between Russian (FSU) women and foreign men.

[RG]

IRC did indeed exist in '95, and IIRC, '93 was the start of commercialization of the Net, which brought on AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ not far off.  

However, as you said, how would she have gotten Internet access?  

My experience and discussions lead me to believe that before sometime in early '00s, perhaps very late 90s at best, very few in the FSU even knew what the Internet was, let alone had regular access or were able to even have it at home as an option.  

My experience (Moscow):

First heard of Internet in 1993 - from the girl whose father was teaching mathematics at Moscow State University. They had an internet access from the university computer...

First time used Internet for work was in 1995, when working for a TV-company - I remember getting through & connecting via modem took a dozen of minutes  

In 1997 created my first personal mailbox (WOW! that was a huge step!) on Hotmail; though checked my e-mail once per week from the office.

In 1999 got my first home PC and everyday internet access.  

Thanks for that, Olga.  I would expect Moscow and St Petes, a few others to fall a bit earlier than what I wrote.
My mother, by comparison, didn't use the Internet at all until a few years ago.   Now if I could only avoid being her "technical support." 

Do you have any friends outside of Moscow that you recall when it became more the norm to have Internet access at home?

[Olga_Mouse]

Thanks for that, Olga. 

You're welcome 

I would expect Moscow and St Petes, a few others to fall a bit earlier than what I wrote.

Sounds completely logical 

Do you have any friends outside of Moscow that you recall when it became more the norm to have Internet access at home?

Let me check my regular personal correspondence to see when it switched from snail mail to e-mails...

Samara \ Russia - from August 2001

Odessa \ Ukraine - from August 2001 as well

Another person from Samara - from November 2001...

 

[siberia]

My experience was 1995 first contacts thru FIDO and IRC, by 1996 my friends in Novosibirsk all had internet access but thru work only.

My husband (from NSK) had it at home by 1996 and so did most of his friends. Of course my experience is skewed because all my Russian and Ukrainian friends were either physicists or in the computer field.  Kharkov, MSK, Piter, and NSK were where my friends were living at the time.

Oh, but as I type I remember a young man from Voronezh who came to visit me in 1998 as a student who had access at home also. And someone from Penza, a couple guys.

[Springirl]

Do not make the mistake of assuming that the woman who marries you from the FSU 'loves' you, she probably will not, but she will probably hope to come to love you over time.

in general it is right
.

people when they marry, will be marrying a woman who does not love them.

It is also right in most of the ways, if you talk about FSU and foreign men, specially huge age gap
But not all, I said most
 

She may like you, get along well with you, respect you, think you a decent chap, maybe a handsome chap, are good marriage material and hopefully she thinks you are at least reasonable in the sack [excepting those whose superstitions prohibit sex before marriage - ouch!] - but love? Over what....... two, three, four visits? I reckon not.

I touched on this in our book: In the west, we generally marry for love. In Russia, women often times marry good men without love. "Has he a job? Own teeth? Healthy? Might make a good Dad? Not a drunkard? Yeah OK then"
 

Nonsense! women are build so, that they marry for love and they must have even more feeling for men then men for them. So women in FSU marry men for love , even men with low salary and not may be so attractive. Phrase that you just post , belong to model type of 20+ girls, that was raised on Hollywood and MTV and it has nothing to do with russian or FSU style! sorry, it is true
And I think foreign man  care more about the health of the bride, her teeth, education, sure body look and etc.......

[2tallbill]

I think that the Original question is one of the most daunting parts of
finding and marrying a foreign woman, especially the non Europeans
in the forum. How much are you pushing the process of developing
love?

Sure some spend months with boots on the ground living together 24 / 7
but most don't.

[JeanClaude]

Love is overrated, most people I know marry a person because he/she is reasonably level headed, nice calm , composed, funny, not obsessive, .....but there must be some kind of reptilian attraction or else the younger spouse (be it man or women) is very likely to cheat,  

[TomT]

.....but there must be some kind of reptilian attraction or else the younger spouse (be it man or women) is very likely to cheat,  

I don't mind if some men love snakes (or are snakes); it leaves all the more partners for those who prefer mammals.

[Maxx]

Quote from: andrewfi on February 28, 2010, 01:16:11 PM

Do not make the mistake of assuming that the woman who marries you from the FSU 'loves' you, she probably will not, but she will probably hope to come to love you over time.

I remember that was the concensus of the RW posting on these boards back in 2003. That being made known by them and my situation at the time put a scare  into the WM.

[dazzer]

Love is overrated, most people I know marry a person because he/she is reasonably level headed, nice calm , composed, funny, not obsessive,

Are you quoting from experience or hearsay Jean 

[1msmoby]

Do not make the mistake of assuming that the woman who marries you from the FSU 'loves' you, she probably will not, but she will probably hope to come to love you over time.

in general it is right

people when they marry, will be marrying a woman who does not love them.

That's why we thought [Veta and I ]  it is a good idea to LIVE together, first ...   When you marry you have [ hopefully] removed that 'rushed' dating romance, initial lust, scenario.

Too many make the mistake of thinking getting married, getting her ( and any kids)  is the end of the story...mission accomplished.

 

She may like you, get along well with you, respect you, think you a decent chap, maybe a handsome chap, are good marriage material and hopefully she thinks you are at least reasonable in the sack [excepting those whose superstitions prohibit sex before marriage - ouch!] - but love? Over what....... two, three, four visits? I reckon not.

Agreed !

I touched on this in our book: In the west, we generally marry for love. In Russia, women often times marry good men without love. "Has he a job? Own teeth? Healthy? Might make a good Dad? Not a drunkard? Yeah OK then"

 

Nonsense! women are build so, that they marry for love and they must have even more feeling for men then men for them. So women in FSU marry men for love , even men with low salary and not may be so attractive. Phrase that you just post , belong to model type of 20+ girls, that was raised on Hollywood and MTV and it has nothing to do with russian or FSU style! sorry, it is true
And I think foreign man  care more about the health of the bride, her teeth, education, sure body look and etc.......

Based on my experience, Manny, I'm more in the Springirl camp here

Excellent thread...hope more folk who are married / have been married [ W / FSU mx] can offer their opinions, too

[Eduard]

can't generalise on this at all...some marry for love, some - for security. In my lifetime I've heard several times Russian and Ukrainian women saying something like: "I'll marry an older, rich guy and have a young, hot looking lover on the side". There are all kinds of women in the FSU with different morals/values.  I posted the quote below in another thread a few weeks ealier, it shows how some women think:
"Если повезет-влюблюсь, если нет-выйду замуж!"
If I get lucky - I will fall in love, if not - I'll get married!

This little quote is very telling IMO. Be careful out there, guys!

[Springirl]

can't generalise on this at all...some marry for love, some - for security. In my lifetime I've several times Russian and Ukrainian women saying something like: "I'll marry an older, rich guy and have a young, hot looking lover on the side". There are all kinds of women in the FSU with different morals/values.  I posted the quote below in another thread a few weeks ealier, it shows how some women think:
"Если повезет-влюблюсь, если нет-выйду замуж!"
If I get lucky - I will fall in love, if not - I'll get married!

This little quote is very telling IMO. Be careful out there, guys!

Эд! это больше про молодых, нынешних девушек, которые переняли квро-американскую рассчётливость, ели пожилым западным мужчинам нужны красотки модельного типа с образованием, то почему этим красоткам не продать выгодно то , что у них есть, это называется замужество-бизнес сделка, такое тоже уважаю, если обоим сторонам хорошо! Перевиди для братьев по разуму всё , что я сказала, не хочу сегодня заморачиваться. Спасибо

[RG]

can't generalise on this at all...some marry for love, some - for security. In my lifetime I've heard several times Russian and Ukrainian women saying something like: "I'll marry an older, rich guy and have a young, hot looking lover on the side". There are all kinds of women in the FSU with different morals/values.  I posted the quote below in another thread a few weeks ealier, it shows how some women think:
"Если повезет-влюблюсь, если нет-выйду замуж!"
If I get lucky - I will fall in love, if not - I'll get married!

This little quote is very telling IMO. Be careful out there, guys!

I agree with all of the above.  I have communicated with women that meet each of Eds statements above.
Some would marry for "a good man."  (this does not mean they are in love when they might marry).
Some only for love, anything else is sacrilege.
Some - security and stability (again, love is not #1)
Then of course, everyone's "favorites", those obviously looking more for a business transaction, money for beauty.

That doesn't mean that most would not like to marry for love, but instead, their "minimum accepted" in some cases, is indeed lower than "pure, romantic, can't live without love."  Some may wish for love, but accept something less, and indeed hope that in time, it will turn into love.  Depending on who you are, that may or may not be acceptable.

Note that I really believe that we attract what we seek to ourselves.  I have known several with the "chance" to "marry rich," who rejected those offers outright, for lack of love.  I have also known a few that would be packed and ready to go by the time it took to read the last sentence.

I do not believe any real generalizations can be made, not that are valid for 'all FSUW' compared to others.  As it is, the number of FSUW seeking, or possibly interested in marrying abroad may well not be representative of the collection of all FSU women at all.  I do wonder somewhat, if there may be some generalizations or tendencies between women only in agencies, vs free or minimal pay sites, local dating sites, etc.  This may also apply to those willing to accept someone without a common language, and other factors - I do think those actively pursuing only marriage abroad may well have already decided to possibly accept "less" in the way of love at time of marriage, but it doesn't mean there are no gems to be found, no matter where one is found.

[Rasputin]

Some would marry for "a good man."  (this does not mean they are in love when they might marry).
Some only for love, anything else is sacrilege.
Some - security and stability (again, love is not #1)

There are some women who will only marry good men for love and then if only they know that there will be some security and stability  Depends on the woman. Some are willing to wait until they find all three. You must count your blessings if you happen to find such a woman and she chooses you 

[RG]

Some would marry for "a good man."  (this does not mean they are in love when they might marry).
Some only for love, anything else is sacrilege.
Some - security and stability (again, love is not #1)

There are some women who will only marry good men for love and then if only they know that there will be some security and stability  Depends on the woman. Some are willing to wait until they find all three. You must count your blessings if you happen to find such a woman and she chooses you 

No disagreements there.  I would say that I am at one such womans apartment right now.  Dinner as well as relaxation is calling, however.