Your dating site profile photos

[Larry]

Quite often new guys will come by the chatroom and ask for advice on FSUW dating.  We usually refer them to the best threads in "The Adventure Begins" section of the forum, such as skiing&running's "Top Ten Things You Would Tell a Newbie" and Bill's "RW Fever 103". 

One of the first things a guy has to do in this search is to create a profile. We have discussed at some length girls' dating site profile photos - bikini or no bikini, professional or amateur photos, etc.  But I don't recall a thorough discussion about the kind of photos we guys should post on our profiles.  And even if there is good advice about this buried in some threads, it would probably be helpful to have this thread that new people can easily see is about guys' profile photos.

What are your recommendations on profile photos?

How many photos to post?  What range?

Professional or amateur, or mix of the two?

Clothing selection - informal or formal, or mix of the two?  If you have a good photo of yourself in a tuxedo, do you include it?

Do you include photo(s) with a pet?

Do you recommend running photos by a female friend with good taste to select the best photos?

Any other recommendations?

I began thinking about this topic today when I read Tyler Cowen's post addressing new research into what photos make a person more attractive:

Whether you’re a casual user of social media sites like facebook and twitter or an avid online dater accessing eHarmony or Match.com, chances are you’ve created a personal online profile and been faced with a decision: What should you post for your profile picture? Many people post head shots or selfies, while others opt for pictures of their children, spouses, pets, or even favorite quotes or symbols. If your goal is to be perceived as attractive (and let’s be honest, whose isn’t?), then new research by Drew Walker and Edward Vul at the University of California, San Diego suggests your best bet is to opt for a group shot with friends.

A photo with friends conveys the fact that you are amiable and well-liked, but oddly enough that is not what makes you more appealing. Instead, the new research shows that individual faces appear more attractive when presented in a group than when presented alone — a perceptually driven phenomenon known as the cheerleader effect.
 

http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2013/12/the-cheerleader-effect.html#sthash.KfHhi1l5.dpuf

Given this, do you post a photo of yourself in a small group of friends?

This is my 600th thread started on RUA.  I've been chasing Bill's total for quite some time. He's at 599.

[BelleZeBoob]

Congrats on the 600th thread start! 

 How many photos to post?  What range?

First, look at the site's restrictions on the numbers of pictures.Some sites place these restrictions, some don't.

If no restrictions, I would think of some 3-7 puctures, depending on the photos selection that you have. Some guys may just have not many of good shots available. Too many photos would just be not needed, they distract the attention of a woman and unnecessarily spend her time. Remember, she looks at dozens of profiles within a certain period of time that she currently has.

Include a good face shot, and a full size of yourself. Then, you may think of a few shots that illustrate you in action, I mean, that highlight some of your activities that build a significant portion of your world. She is supposed to be part of it, so show her your world a little bit. I mean, if you are a golfer, put on a good picture of your doing a beautiful shot. If you cycle, find a good shot of yourself in your cycling gear (a Harley Davidson may be a pride for you but to her, it usually says little ) No reason to show pictures of your fave Corvette or Porsche - most women have zero interest in those toys, unless you want to purposefully flaunt your wealth. Just don't complain that you attract golddiggers in that case.

Professional or amateur, or mix of the two?

 

Does not matter. Important is that the photos create a good impression on the looker. If a friend of you, or yourself could make the photos that show the best of you, do it! Actually, every single photo of myself on the sites were the selfies that I've done using the remote control of my camera.

[sashathecat]

Much of this can depend on the type of woman you are looking for. In my case I heard Odessa has somewhat of a beach culture which is something that is important to me. I included a casual but professionally taken picture of myself on the beach here. I think this helped attarct the right woman for me. My casual attire and flip flops may not have done the trick for a woman from Kiev who prefers to attend society events though. If pets are important to you I would include those in follow up conversations. The same goes with pictures with friends. Good to show you are a normal guy, but in your profile I feel you should be selling yourself to start.

I would definitely have a few professional photos taken and include a good head shot as well as a picture of yourself doing something active or at an activity which you enjoy.

[sashathecat]

Include a good face shot, and a full size of yourself. Then, you may think of a few shots that illustrate you in action, I mean, that highlight some of your activities that build a significant portion of your world. She is supposed to be part of it, so show her your world a little bit. I mean, if you are a golfer, put on a good picture of your doing a beautiful shot. If you cycle, find a good shot of yourself in your cycling gear

Belle beat me to it while I was typing but yes, an action or activity shot is critical I was told.

[BelleZeBoob]

Clothing selection - informal or formal, or mix of the two?  If you have a good photo of yourself in a tuxedo, do you include it?

Not critical as soon as they show you in the best light possible. 

Do you include photo(s) with a pet?

You can, in case the photo also shows you well. Most profiles ask for the information whether you have a pet or not, and which one, this should be enough. Again, if your pet takes a significant part of your life, like you are a dog breeder, suggest that you include the photo.

Do you recommend running photos by a female friend with good taste to select the best photos?

It is always good to use the help of people who know you well. However, a looker's mentality may differ from that of your female friend. 

http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2013/12/the-cheerleader-effect.html#sthash.KfHhi1l5.dpuf

Given this, do you post a photo of yourself in a small group of friends?

Personally I don't share the point that is outlined in the article. Most of people appreciate a good company anyway, it almost goes without saying or illustrating. A pathologic loner is usually apparent though other ways. Further on, a group of people is distracting for the eyes as she has seen many photos on the site already, and it may result in comparison which may or may not be in your favor.

[BelleZeBoob]

Include a good face shot, and a full size of yourself. Then, you may think of a few shots that illustrate you in action, I mean, that highlight some of your activities that build a significant portion of your world. She is supposed to be part of it, so show her your world a little bit. I mean, if you are a golfer, put on a good picture of your doing a beautiful shot. If you cycle, find a good shot of yourself in your cycling gear

Belle beat me to it while I was typing but yes, an action or activity shot is critical I was told.

As a woman, I'd say that seeing a photo of a man doing some physical activity goes straight to our instincts and signal a good physical health and strenght of that person. We ARE interested in that!

I would not call such shots critical, though. The criteria would be whether it shows you in a favorable light or not.

[NS1]

Larry Congrats on 600.

I think a few shots of you in your normal environment.
What are your daily cloths, Pics of your favourite hobby.
If you spend 90% of your day in a suit, then post more pics with this reflection.
But if you are more casual, showing all suit shots, show the wrong imagine of who you are.

 Belle, I agree.
Showing houses or cars, bikes etc. bad on profile, ( sends wrong message) 
With pets are ok, if this is your passion.
I also agree use Photos, that will attract what you search for.
If you only go to high end places once a year, Tux shot sends wrong message.
Yet if you frequent such events often, then this shows a part of your world
and the world your lady will be in.

Most important, really be yourself. Show the real you.
Why make photos of something you are not? It will only attract women
based on photos and then you have to talk your way around this.

The words in the profile should match the image you portrait.

[BelleZeBoob]

I recall that a while ago I saw a man's profile with about 6 pictures, where one was his face shot with sunglasses and cap on, the next one was of his dog, and the others were just the shots of beautiful sunset and nature.  Not sure what did he meant to say by that. What a waste.

[Barbossa]

Okay posters: 

Go through women's profiles of men on your fav. dating site.  How many of those men show themselves without a shirt?  Seriously, there are quite a few that do.

(I love perusing for my favorite guy - am thinking of putting up a profile of a woman just so I can attract many.   )

For you women out there, we have discussed whether men appreciate the women in bathing suits (or less).  What do you think when you see a profile with pictures of a guy showing off his bod?

[andrewfi]

Don't forget that you may find that only individual pics are allowed to be posted, no group shots.

[BelleZeBoob]

For you women out there, we have discussed whether men appreciate the women in bathing suits (or less).  What do you think when you see a profile with pictures of a guy showing off his bod?

I am thinking that he is being honest about himself    Which is always appreciated.

[doc holiday]

I am not sure which strategy works the best, but I think it is better to post just a few pictures along the lines of what people have said.  You can always send a few more pictures that are relevant to the conversations or messages you have at the right time.  It seems a bit more personal to me.

Although I would not rule out a woman because of this, I did find it odd when one would have 20 pictures posted on a profile, particularly when the profile only contained 20 words.

I suppose this might be almost tautological, but you should post pictures of yourself that you really like.

You should post high quality photos, which for many people will mean having professional photos taken, but many people also already have high quality photos from events and those should be fine.

I would stay away from self-photos taken with your cell phone.  I don't understand the social backlash against these, but they generally are not good photos anyway.

[NS1]

I remember from another thread, one guy who, did make up and this and that
to alter his look and try and make look better.
Yes quality photos are important.
But you should look like you, sooner or later you will meet.
Save the grief, and let her see the real you.
Saves time, money, heartache and grief, for her and you.

[Manny]

The late Jack Bragg once posted some very good advice on this subject:

Photos

For any man who is just starting the pursuit for a fine Russian bride their is not a single thing he can do any more important to help his cause than a nice photo. And I actually think we need three good photos.

The three photos should all be different, meaning not the same clothes or the same back ground. Full and 3/4 body shots with nice big smiles are what get the best results. Our best photo I hope is one of you in a business suit or sports coat or a nice casual. Good second and third photos are often photos of you standing in your backyard, maybe overlooking a lake or river, at a flower garden, or in your front yard.

Why three photos?.....Recently while you have been looking at Russian women, how often have you seen a photo of one really fine looking lady and so you go to look at her second photo. Not bad, you think so you look at her third photo......"Euuuuwwweee!..... Is that the same woman? Oh, no, not for me, if she can look like that I'm not interested!"  This lady showed one photo to many.  If that has not happened to you yet, it will. I do not want you guys showing one photo to many. I want you guys to have three good photos and that's all we use while you are marketing yourself. 

I recall that a while ago I saw a man's profile with about 6 pictures, where one was his face shot with sunglasses and cap on, the next one was of his dog, and the others were just the shots of beautiful sunset and nature.  Not sure what did he meant to say by that. What a waste.

My wife has worked for guys where their only photo was peeping around a door frame in sunglasses and a baseball cap. She asked one guy for more photos of himself for the woman she was talking to on his behalf. The guy sent more of the same and one of his dog. 

She told him women don't date shadows or caps and to cough up some full body shots with no hats or shades or she cant help him further. He didn't, so she didn't. 

[Larry]

My wife has worked for guys where their only photo was peeping around a door frame in sunglasses and a baseball cap. She asked one guy for more photos of himself for the woman she was talking to on his behalf. The guy sent more of the same and one of his dog. 

I noticed this sort of thing when I was using US dating sites.  Girls would have photos where they were sticking their head out from behind a column and no photos that showed their bodies..  I learned they did this column trick and similar tricks to cover up their bodies because they were obese.

Larry Congrats on 600.

Thanks, NS1.

[Barbossa]

Could've been  married too.  You never know.  I have a friend who will not let ANY pictures of her go on the internet.  One might wonder who she is afraid of seeing them.

[Anteros]

What Belle said, except I recommend hiring a professional photographer for your head shot, it's worth it IMO to make a good first impression.  Too many people think that they are good photographers and they simply don't have a clue.

To the American guys--NO BASEBALL CAPS, at least not in the 2 or 3 photos on your profile.  If you are a huge LA Dodgers fan (or insert your fave team here) then perhaps later after a few letters you can show that side to the lady.

And certainly no sunglasses--it blows my mind when somebody does that--people want to see your eyes.

Beach attire?  Maybe after writing to the lady, maybe in the 2nd or 3rd letter.  I have a photo trying to be like Putin so it's mostly for comedy, and later, much later.

Horseback riding or some other activity, yes, but perhaps 2nd or 3rd letter.

[patagonie]

You need professional photos.
Three, four maximum. Never mixed with amateur.
No photoshop modification, just balance of contrast and lightness.
Never in front of an expensive car or house, no cap, no sunglasses, no hat.
All photos in a suit is too much. Maximum one in suit.
You need to choice few you really like from the professional shooting.

[Mikeav8r]

You need professional photos.
Three, four maximum. Never mixed with amateur.
No photoshop modification, just balance of contrast and lightness.
Never in front of an expensive car or house, no cap, no sunglasses, no hat.
All photos in a suit is too much. Maximum one in suit.
You need to choice few you really like from the professional shooting.

Unless you make your living on the receiving end of professional photos, I would not suggest a profile full of them.  It does not represent the real you.  Give them a look into your real life...the real you.  They appreciate photos of your social life, your active life and travel photos.  It speaks volumes about you.  Sure, throw in a professional shot or two to demonstrate you dress up well, but limit it to just that.  Belle was spot on with her suggestions UT...if you cycle, find a good photo engaged in the activity or in the outfit with the bike...if you travel (I guess we all do, with an exception or two), find a good photo near a recognizable land mark...

Keep it simple..show them a bit of your life.  Do not mislead with older photos and keep them less than a year or 18 months old.  The more recent the better.  Do not include photos of you with other women unless it is mom or sis.  No shirtless photos in a mirror...avoid selfies in a mirror of any type for that matter.

They like to see you have a social life, are close to family and lead an active lifestyle.  Your photos should be reflective of this...the REAL you.

[Justmd]

2 to 3 simple photos, nothing professional taken as she may see you as being vain and might ask why did you spend money for your pictures to be taken...1 or 2 face shots (a selfie is ok) and maybe one showing you are in reasonably good shape...fully clothed!! 

[sparky114]

I Got a great response when i used my Bikini pictures 

[Donhollio]

I Got a great response when i used my Bikini pictures 

 Your step daughter regaled me with that Borat styled piece!   

[Justmd]

"The most viewed trip report on the forums today! An epic journey to the FSU: Three countries and eight trips totalling eleven months. A must read for any neophite about to embark into the old CCCP. Follow my sometimes adventurous travels that were filled with good times and bad; but through it all, it ended in happiness. Donhollio's FSU Pursuit! Read it today!!"

3 countries and 8 trips and just committed...my lord man put a ring on her!!

[Vinnvinny]

3 countries and 8 trips and just committed...my lord man put a ring on her!!

He did. 

[Justmd]

3 countries and 8 trips and just committed...my lord man put a ring on her!!

He did. 

Did you just tell me to shut up?