The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: Asking her to travel some?  (Read 6710 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19719
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #25 on: August 06, 2013, 02:01:54 PM »
Wow, what a great self-promotional by Eduard.  Too bad we can't find it in the commercial section.   :coffeeread:

Yes I was laughing to myself when I wrote it that I bet Ed would show up pretty soon and disparage it  :laugh: time has gone on, but things stay the same.

Ed writes some OK stuff. We gotta give him a little leeway.  :chuckle:

Yes...I enjoy and appreciate Ed's input.

If you are in FL anytime, meeting him is recommended.  :)
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2701
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #26 on: August 06, 2013, 02:07:58 PM »
Wow, what a great self-promotional by Eduard.  Too bad we can't find it in the commercial section.   :coffeeread:

Yes I was laughing to myself when I wrote it that I bet Ed would show up pretty soon and disparage it  :laugh: time has gone on, but things stay the same.

Ed writes some OK stuff. We gotta give him a little leeway.  :chuckle:

Yes...I enjoy and appreciate Ed's input.

If you are in FL anytime, meeting him is recommended.  :)

Noted.  I am always up for meeting any of our members for that matter  tiphat
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon

Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #27 on: August 06, 2013, 02:32:23 PM »
I would suggest getting a winger.

How will getting a wing man, if that's what you meant, help?

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 
Come on now, Chris. There are many benefits in using a wing man you may not know of. Many of my clients try the "Do it yourself" way first, before they contact me. Most of them are busy professionals with limited time and they just can't afford to spend 3 or 5 years on "learning the ropes" and half a dozen trips (most of them a waste of time and money). My last client for example that I just went to Russia with is a 36 yo. former army officer who served in Iraq and graduated from a top military academy. He now is working in top management of a large US corporation and has very limited time. He tried to do this on his own using EM but after a wasted trip he decided to retain me. I worked with him for 3 months and we made one trip that lasted just under 2 weeks. He is now in a relationship with a wonderful Russian girl and they are planning their future together. There is a lot to what I do... you might be interested in reading a blog on my site about this trip. It's not finished yet but the first 4 parts are there
*Unapproved Link*/july-2013-trip-to-meet-beautiful-russian-women/

With all due respect Eduard, what takes 3-5 years to learn?  How to book a flight?  A hotel or apartment?  How to speak to and date a woman?  The internet is our friend.  If someone takes a little time to learn the culture and surroundings ahead of time (even the busiest professionals can do this) and has done any traveling in the past, this is not difficult.  Maybe naive, scared and insecure people would struggle with a trip such as this but seriously, It is not difficult.  I respect what you do and I am sure many can benefit from it...but in that case...they truly need it and they may need a wingman in the honeymoon suite as Chris pointed out from the sounds of it  :chuckle:
Mike, certainly you are entitled to your opinion and I respect it. However 3 to 5 years that's what it normally takes a man (according to what I've been reading on these fora) to learn the ropes and possibly meet a nice lady. On the other hand the majority fail in this persuite even after taking all that time and making many trips. You see, the more you know the more you realize how little you know. You think you can just learn a little Russian, read a couple of books and your success is guaranteed?

My guy that I just finished working with did learn some Russian, did learn about the culture, he traveled the world more than most people, he even did the K-1 for a girl he met on EM, but things didn't work out with her. So he could have taken your advice and continued making trips hoping that one day things would work out, but he chose to use my services instead and 3 months later he got what he was looking for. Is that such a bad thing?
And by the way I am much more than a wing man. I help search and communicate, I translate and provide cultural advice, I am a relationship manager (which most of my clients found priceless), and off course logistics coordinator. I have a system that really works as long as the guy sticks to it and has realistic expectations. Being a wing man is 1/5th of what I do. I've got this down to a science in all the years I've been doing this and it saves my clients a ton of time and money.
So you can bash me all you want still my clients are happily married and having babies with their beautiful wives while many other guys are still searching and will continue searching for another few years... many not finding a real relationship and just wasting years and money on BS.

I realize that some men enjoy the process, the chase too much to use some one like me. My services are definitely not for that type of men. it would almost be anticlimactic for them to work with me for 3 months and then it's all over! Done! Got his girl.  :knit: But a guy who doesn't want to spend the next few years searching and not finding, who is ready to settle down and have a family and who really wants to know and understand the woman he is about to marry BEFORE he brings her home, will benefit from retaining me greatly.

By the way in case you didn't know Marty and his wife had their first baby boy earlier this year: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=12613.0

So did Catman  :biggrin:


Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #28 on: August 06, 2013, 02:34:20 PM »
Wow, what a great self-promotional by Eduard.  Too bad we can't find it in the commercial section.   :coffeeread:

Yes I was laughing to myself when I wrote it that I bet Ed would show up pretty soon and disparage it  :laugh: time has gone on, but things stay the same.

Ed writes some OK stuff. We gotta give him a little leeway.  :chuckle:

Yes...I enjoy and appreciate Ed's input.
Thanks Mike! I appreciate it  :BEER:

Online AvHdB

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14933
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine, Kiev
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #29 on: August 06, 2013, 02:36:08 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

You will have some one if good can translate at least at level 8, read and understand the nuances of a different culture and add insight and advice on how to proceed. Your cross country trips will be safe and you will receive greater insight than if you travel alone. Further they can foil on multiple meetings if you are going to do the WMVM approach. Most likely they will give a sense of confidence that you are not riding out to sea on a ripe tide.

Equally important they can find arange the taxi between sities and a basic hotel or apartment with a couple foon calls.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Chris

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14372
  • Country: england
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Chernivtsi, Ukraine
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #30 on: August 06, 2013, 03:12:08 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?
Слава Україні

Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19719
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #31 on: August 06, 2013, 03:22:01 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?

Because most of them don't have passports and America IS the world they think.

Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Online AvHdB

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14933
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine, Kiev
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #32 on: August 06, 2013, 03:25:25 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?

Because some end up taking taxi trips that normally cost $100 - but they spend $ 300 or they get locked into the apartment buildings by there dearly beloved.

On the other side I have sailed across oceans on a small vessel and crossed continents BUT I was grateful for the insights and assistance of Stirlitz. In the end though Julia came as a recommendation from a friend that I had met in Prague long ago. (Praag)
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2701
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #33 on: August 06, 2013, 03:46:06 PM »
I would suggest getting a winger.

How will getting a wing man, if that's what you meant, help?

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 
Come on now, Chris. There are many benefits in using a wing man you may not know of. Many of my clients try the "Do it yourself" way first, before they contact me. Most of them are busy professionals with limited time and they just can't afford to spend 3 or 5 years on "learning the ropes" and half a dozen trips (most of them a waste of time and money). My last client for example that I just went to Russia with is a 36 yo. former army officer who served in Iraq and graduated from a top military academy. He now is working in top management of a large US corporation and has very limited time. He tried to do this on his own using EM but after a wasted trip he decided to retain me. I worked with him for 3 months and we made one trip that lasted just under 2 weeks. He is now in a relationship with a wonderful Russian girl and they are planning their future together. There is a lot to what I do... you might be interested in reading a blog on my site about this trip. It's not finished yet but the first 4 parts are there
*Unapproved Link*/july-2013-trip-to-meet-beautiful-russian-women/

With all due respect Eduard, what takes 3-5 years to learn?  How to book a flight?  A hotel or apartment?  How to speak to and date a woman?  The internet is our friend.  If someone takes a little time to learn the culture and surroundings ahead of time (even the busiest professionals can do this) and has done any traveling in the past, this is not difficult.  Maybe naive, scared and insecure people would struggle with a trip such as this but seriously, It is not difficult.  I respect what you do and I am sure many can benefit from it...but in that case...they truly need it and they may need a wingman in the honeymoon suite as Chris pointed out from the sounds of it  :chuckle:
Mike, certainly you are entitled to your opinion and I respect it. However 3 to 5 years that's what it normally takes a man (according to what I've been reading on these fora) to learn the ropes and possibly meet a nice lady. On the other hand the majority fail in this persuite even after taking all that time and making many trips. You see, the more you know the more you realize how little you know. You think you can just learn a little Russian, read a couple of books and your success is guaranteed?

My guy that I just finished working with did learn some Russian, did learn about the culture, he traveled the world more than most people, he even did the K-1 for a girl he met on EM, but things didn't work out with her. So he could have taken your advice and continued making trips hoping that one day things would work out, but he chose to use my services instead and 3 months later he got what he was looking for. Is that such a bad thing?
And by the way I am much more than a wing man. I help search and communicate, I translate and provide cultural advice, I am a relationship manager (which most of my clients found priceless), and off course logistics coordinator. I have a system that really works as long as the guy sticks to it and has realistic expectations. Being a wing man is 1/5th of what I do. I've got this down to a science in all the years I've been doing this and it saves my clients a ton of time and money.
So you can bash me all you want still my clients are happily married and having babies with their beautiful wives while many other guys are still searching and will continue searching for another few years... many not finding a real relationship and just wasting years and money on BS.

I realize that some men enjoy the process, the chase too much to use some one like me. My services are definitely not for that type of men. it would almost be anticlimactic for them to work with me for 3 months and then it's all over! Done! Got his girl.  :knit: But a guy who doesn't want to spend the next few years searching and not finding, who is ready to settle down and have a family and who really wants to know and understand the woman he is about to marry BEFORE he brings her home, will benefit from retaining me greatly.

By the way in case you didn't know Marty and his wife had their first baby boy earlier this year: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=12613.0

So did Catman  :biggrin:

Ed,

First and most important...I was not bashing you in any way sir.  I was simply commenting about the idea of a wingman.  What you do is a valuable service to those who need it and I respect that.  I am merely saying I do not.  I have traveled internationally for 30 years on my own since I was 18 and have been to some of the worst hell holes on the planet.  I am a resourceful, well prepared and outgoing spirit so I do fine on my own wherever I go.  I realize there are differences with relationships and the opposite sex in the FSU which is why I have been educating myself for the past ~22 months.

I have never given any advice to make many trips anywhere.  I am a firm believer in getting to know someone well enough to be comfortable making a trip to see her and not just hop on a plane at the drop of a hat.  I know better (now).  I am not a WMVM type of person and I do not enjoy the "chase".  I have made 3 trips in 19 months to visit 3 women and I believe I have found the one (all by myself :) ). 

Again. I appreciate and respect what you do and I am glad you are able to help so many become successful.  tiphat

I read the TR on Marty and was impressed with the outcome.  Nice story.
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2701
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #34 on: August 06, 2013, 03:54:46 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?

I personally do not nor have I ever.  I am guessing it may be because so many Americans travel very short distances to well established and guarded locations (all inclusive resorts, etc.) that they really do not have much knowledge of how the outside world really works.  Many also believe it should be like our country so what is there to learn?  You guys across the pond have many different cultures and a vast array of history a very short distance from you....we have Canada (similar to us) and Mexico (most only go to the resorts) and are afraid to wander the actual country (and for good reason nowadays) so most are very naive and clueless when it comes to international travel.

Just a guess.
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2701
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #35 on: August 06, 2013, 03:56:12 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?

Because most of them don't have passports and America IS the world they think.



Come on Manny...everyone knows Puerto Rico is our 51st state and the UK is a satellite state  :hidechair:  :chuckle:  Or is that arrow supposed to be directed at Ireland?

That is a funny ass map though.  I got a good laugh out of it.  Thanks
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2701
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #36 on: August 06, 2013, 04:02:11 PM »
A winger (wingman or wingwoman) especially for an America who has never been to the Soyuz before will be worth the expense in my opinion.

Tell us, why do Americans need this so much but most other Nationalities get along on their own just fine?

Because some end up taking taxi trips that normally cost $100 - but they spend $ 300 or they get locked into the apartment buildings by there dearly beloved.

On the other side I have sailed across oceans on a small vessel and crossed continents BUT I was grateful for the insights and assistance of Stirlitz. In the end though Julia came as a recommendation from a friend that I had met in Prague long ago. (Praag)

Lack of proper planning and preparation and most Americans would not know what the inside of a cab (taxi) looks like anyway.  We all drive our own cars.  During my last trip to Pete, I spent more time in a cab (taxi) than I have my entire life for example.  :biggrin:
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon

Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #37 on: August 06, 2013, 04:03:23 PM »
I would suggest getting a winger.

How will getting a wing man, if that's what you meant, help?

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 
Come on now, Chris. There are many benefits in using a wing man you may not know of. Many of my clients try the "Do it yourself" way first, before they contact me. Most of them are busy professionals with limited time and they just can't afford to spend 3 or 5 years on "learning the ropes" and half a dozen trips (most of them a waste of time and money). My last client for example that I just went to Russia with is a 36 yo. former army officer who served in Iraq and graduated from a top military academy. He now is working in top management of a large US corporation and has very limited time. He tried to do this on his own using EM but after a wasted trip he decided to retain me. I worked with him for 3 months and we made one trip that lasted just under 2 weeks. He is now in a relationship with a wonderful Russian girl and they are planning their future together. There is a lot to what I do... you might be interested in reading a blog on my site about this trip. It's not finished yet but the first 4 parts are there
*Unapproved Link*/july-2013-trip-to-meet-beautiful-russian-women/

With all due respect Eduard, what takes 3-5 years to learn?  How to book a flight?  A hotel or apartment?  How to speak to and date a woman?  The internet is our friend.  If someone takes a little time to learn the culture and surroundings ahead of time (even the busiest professionals can do this) and has done any traveling in the past, this is not difficult.  Maybe naive, scared and insecure people would struggle with a trip such as this but seriously, It is not difficult.  I respect what you do and I am sure many can benefit from it...but in that case...they truly need it and they may need a wingman in the honeymoon suite as Chris pointed out from the sounds of it  :chuckle:
Mike, certainly you are entitled to your opinion and I respect it. However 3 to 5 years that's what it normally takes a man (according to what I've been reading on these fora) to learn the ropes and possibly meet a nice lady. On the other hand the majority fail in this persuite even after taking all that time and making many trips. You see, the more you know the more you realize how little you know. You think you can just learn a little Russian, read a couple of books and your success is guaranteed?

My guy that I just finished working with did learn some Russian, did learn about the culture, he traveled the world more than most people, he even did the K-1 for a girl he met on EM, but things didn't work out with her. So he could have taken your advice and continued making trips hoping that one day things would work out, but he chose to use my services instead and 3 months later he got what he was looking for. Is that such a bad thing?
And by the way I am much more than a wing man. I help search and communicate, I translate and provide cultural advice, I am a relationship manager (which most of my clients found priceless), and off course logistics coordinator. I have a system that really works as long as the guy sticks to it and has realistic expectations. Being a wing man is 1/5th of what I do. I've got this down to a science in all the years I've been doing this and it saves my clients a ton of time and money.
So you can bash me all you want still my clients are happily married and having babies with their beautiful wives while many other guys are still searching and will continue searching for another few years... many not finding a real relationship and just wasting years and money on BS.

I realize that some men enjoy the process, the chase too much to use some one like me. My services are definitely not for that type of men. it would almost be anticlimactic for them to work with me for 3 months and then it's all over! Done! Got his girl.  :knit: But a guy who doesn't want to spend the next few years searching and not finding, who is ready to settle down and have a family and who really wants to know and understand the woman he is about to marry BEFORE he brings her home, will benefit from retaining me greatly.

By the way in case you didn't know Marty and his wife had their first baby boy earlier this year: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=12613.0

So did Catman  :biggrin:

Ed,

First and most important...I was not bashing you in any way sir.  I was simply commenting about the idea of a wingman.  What you do is a valuable service to those who need it and I respect that.  I am merely saying I do not.  I have traveled internationally for 30 years on my own since I was 18 and have been to some of the worst hell holes on the planet.  I am a resourceful, well prepared and outgoing spirit so I do fine on my own wherever I go.  I realize there are differences with relationships and the opposite sex in the FSU which is why I have been educating myself for the past ~22 months.

I have never given any advice to make many trips anywhere.  I am a firm believer in getting to know someone well enough to be comfortable making a trip to see her and not just hop on a plane at the drop of a hat.  I know better (now).  I am not a WMVM type of person and I do not enjoy the "chase".  I have made 3 trips in 19 months to visit 3 women and I believe I have found the one (all by myself :) ). 

Again. I appreciate and respect what you do and I am glad you are able to help so many become successful.  tiphat

I read the TR on Marty and was impressed with the outcome.  Nice story.
Yes, "bashing" was too strong of a word... sorry, Mike. You sound like a good guy, I'm sure we'd become good friends if we took a trip together :))))  :BEER:

Offline Kaz

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #38 on: August 06, 2013, 05:29:55 PM »
Well, I didn't expect some of this. Seems I ruffled a few feathers, which was unintentional and I do apologize for that. If you'll allow me to maybe explain things a bit and maybe smooth things over?

Until recently I was barely scraping by, then I managed to get very lucky and my financials changed. It's been soon enough I guess I'm still in the "I must save more" mode and the worry hasn't worn off. I probably should have included the question "Would this be worse than saying 'Bad news, I might not make it until after the first of the year' or 'Would you be willing to travel?'" I don't know exactly how things work on the other end of this and was trying to educate myself. I'm pretty sure the other possibility would make her say "So we've been talking for a month and a half and it's how much longer until he comes? Have I been wasting my time with someone who isn't serious?" I was trying to see things her way with that. She did mention she hoped to go back to Nikolayev every weekend when she first started her job, so I didn't think it was that far. 14-15 hours doesn't seem like an every weekend trip so now that I know that I see this particular instance as too much.

I hope that helps smooth things over.

One thing in this discussion caught my eye, the bit about meeting multiple girls. They don't expect this? And that's a problem? I don't expect them to be just be talking to me. What happens if you go for just one and things are much different face to face? This worries me for many reasons.

Offline Vinnvinny

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5674
  • Country: england
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #39 on: August 06, 2013, 05:35:40 PM »
Aaarh Kaz, you have discovered the ultimate conundrum. WMVM (write many, visit many) or WOVO (write one visit, one). There is no definitive answer so don’t start looking for it, it'll send you gay.

Offline Larry

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5853
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #40 on: August 06, 2013, 05:59:28 PM »
Quote
One thing in this discussion caught my eye, the bit about meeting multiple girls. They don't expect this? And that's a problem? I don't expect them to be just be talking to me. What happens if you go for just one and things are much different face to face? This worries me for many reasons.

As Vinny alluded to, the WOVO vs. WMVM approach is one of the most hotly debated topics in the world of international dating.  I suggest that you read some of the old threads on this topic, but some FSUW will be distinctly unhappy if you meet other girls on your trip.  They would expect that you visit them, and if the two of you don't hit it off then you may go home, begin talking to another girl, then make another trip to visit that girl. 

For guys who visit only one girl, it is often recommended that they develop some backup plans.  I recommend this highly.

Quote
Aaarh Kaz, you have discovered the ultimate conundrum.

Vinny made a useful recommendation.  Bring conundrums.

Online AvHdB

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14933
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine, Kiev
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #41 on: August 06, 2013, 08:39:26 PM »
As Larry suggests and Vinny alludes to read some travel reports to understand the differences to WMVM and WOVO strategy. Everything that you have written says go with WOVO (in each city) with a back up plan.

Again I think based on what you have written a winger is the way to go for your situation.

But I suspect you will have to first realize that AFA is not the best resource for marriage minded women from the former Soviet Union. Why not trip (surf) around with a beer or two on Love Planet and Mamba during some down time?
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Donhollio

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 6193
  • Country: 00
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #42 on: August 06, 2013, 11:37:23 PM »

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 

   Chris I think you are missing something here. I know of one guy who was a Canuck that used Ed's service, and found it quite pleasing. Personally I think having a travel guy with you would be fun, kinda like your very own Jeeve's!  He could keep you focused, cheer you up when things get bad, help guide you around. After all how many times does the foreign guy with no communication skills encounter difficulties when trying to move about? Hiring a local guide or inturp is really no different except the hours they spend with the WM.
 Ed, you do iron right?  ;D

Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #43 on: August 07, 2013, 07:18:03 AM »

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 

   Chris I think you are missing something here. I know of one guy who was a Canuck that used Ed's service, and found it quite pleasing. Personally I think having a travel guy with you would be fun, kinda like your very own Jeeve's!  He could keep you focused, cheer you up when things get bad, help guide you around. After all how many times does the foreign guy with no communication skills encounter difficulties when trying to move about? Hiring a local guide or inturp is really no different except the hours they spend with the WM.
 Ed, you do iron right?  ;D
LOL, Don! No, I make my clients iron or me  :party0011: Have you been talking to Catman? How are they doing? How's the baby?

Offline Chris

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14372
  • Country: england
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Chernivtsi, Ukraine
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #44 on: August 07, 2013, 07:55:32 AM »

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 

   Chris I think you are missing something here. I know of one guy who was a Canuck that used Ed's service, and found it quite pleasing. Personally I think having a travel guy with you would be fun, kinda like your very own Jeeve's!  He could keep you focused, cheer you up when things get bad, help guide you around. After all how many times does the foreign guy with no communication skills encounter difficulties when trying to move about? Hiring a local guide or inturp is really no different except the hours they spend with the WM.
 Ed, you do iron right?  ;D


Ahh, you mean a Butler yes? well in that case I agree  :chuckle:
Слава Україні

Offline CC3

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 971
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Engaged
  • Trips: Semi-Resident
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #45 on: August 07, 2013, 09:25:47 AM »
Kaz, you don't need to ask tis kind of question here, really!

If you think for a moment, use a little empathy (that's the stuff that enables us to put ourselves in another person's shoes) then you know the answer to the question.

When you do stuff (or plan to do stuff) start from the perspective of the other stakeholders. How will they react, what will they think?
If they don't think your wheeze is wizard then it will not happen.

If that empathy thing is hard, and, I know that for some people it is, then try thinking about it as though somebody were asking YOU to do what you want them to do. How would YOU react to being asked to inconvenience yourself for an unmet stranger so that the stranger will save a little time on a train? There you go, that's your answer.

+100! Very insightful... :THUB:
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other *snip* die for his.
George S. Patton

Offline CC3

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 971
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Engaged
  • Trips: Semi-Resident
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #46 on: August 07, 2013, 09:37:39 AM »
I would suggest getting a winger.

How will getting a wing man, if that's what you meant, help?

It always makes me laugh when people state get a wing man, tends to be Americans, I never hear of anyone else having one  ??? I cannot for the life of me fathom out why anyone needs one, we are meant to be adults, can't all these bride seekers make their own arrangements and decisions in life, what happens if they ever, God forbid get married, do they take a wing man on the honeymoon with them also, does he hide under the bed, just in case he might be needed for advice!    :'(      :ROFL:
 

+100! Those needing a "winger" in FSU probably would need one in their own country. They shouldn't go more than one international border away from home, if that far.  :scared0005:
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other *snip* die for his.
George S. Patton

Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #47 on: August 07, 2013, 09:40:19 AM »
How quick we are to judge other people :))) Maybe they just know something that you don't?  :nod:

Offline CC3

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 971
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Ukraine
  • Status: Engaged
  • Trips: Semi-Resident
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #48 on: August 07, 2013, 10:13:34 AM »
How quick we are to judge other people :))) Maybe they just know something that you don't?  :nod:

Ed, I would not characterize you as a "wingman". Operating from the US, you are more of an international executive consultant. To a me, a "wingman" is either a fellow countryman functioning as an unpaid companion to help the newbie along in his initial FSU experience, or a local 'guide/terp' providing some services at a lot lower level than you provide. I have performed telephonic 'wingmanning' for a man planning to visit my fiancee's best friend in Luhans'k, but, advising, by phone, on travel routes, UA immigration/customs, airport layouts, surface transport to train/bus stations, basic cultural, language, housing, and dining expectations, etc. is as far as I will go. The man in question is 50 and has never been out of North America...bogles my mind!  tiphat
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other *snip* die for his.
George S. Patton

Offline Eduard

  • Commercial member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5641
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Skype: edthered90
    • realrussianmatch.com
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Asking her to travel some?
« Reply #49 on: August 07, 2013, 10:15:43 AM »
How quick we are to judge other people :))) Maybe they just know something that you don't?  :nod:

Ed, I would not characterize you as a "wingman". Operating from the US, you are more of an international executive consultant. To a me, a "wingman" is either a fellow countryman functioning as an unpaid companion to help the newbie along in his initial FSU experience, or a local 'guide/terp' providing some services at a lot lower level than you provide. I have performed telephonic 'wingmanning' for a man planning to visit my fiancee's best friend in Luhans'k, but, advising, by phone, on travel routes, UA immigration/customs, airport layouts, surface transport to train/bus stations, basic cultural, language, housing, and dining expectations, etc. is as far as I will go. The man in question is 50 and has never been out of North America...bogles my mind!  tiphat
I see, that makes sense  tiphat


 

 

Registration